Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > The Lighter Side
Have you heard a good one lately?
Pipedream:
A masochist asks a sadist: "Please torture me! Torture me!"
The sadists answers: "No."
::)
welliwont:
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background
checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances.
Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and
went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun
and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.
The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, "This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.
Katie77:
Did you hear about the gay frog?
Got toad(toe'd) up the arse....
Did you hear about the gay rabbit?
Couldn't get the hare(hair) out of his arse.
vkm91941:
A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. "What the heck, their just guys" he says to himself, "and I really need a drink."
When the bartender approaches, he says to the cowboy, " What's the name of your willy?" :)
The cowboy says, "I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink." :(
The bartender says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you untill you tell me the name of your willy, house rule. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan " Just do It". :-*
That guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because "It really Satisfies." :P
The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?"
The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX". 8)
The thirsty cowboy asks "Why Timex?" ???
The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a licking' and keeps on tickin!" ;)
A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fella's on his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you guys call yours?" :-\
The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because "Quality is Job One". Then he adds, "Have YOU driven a Ford lately?" ;D
The guy next to him then says, "I call mine CHEVY" , Like a Rock". And gives a wink! ;)
Even more shaken, the cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender, smiles :D and exclaims, "The name of my willy is SECRET. Now give me a beer."
The bartender begins to pull the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look and asks, "Why Secret?" . ???
The cowboy says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!!!" ::)
Arad-3:
Not intended to offend anybody. Just thought this was cute. It reminds me of my youngest daughter.
A blonde was sitting on the train reading the newspaper.
The headline blared, "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed".
She shook her head at the sad news, then turned to
the stranger sitting next to her and asked,......
"Wow that is really sad, how many is a Brazilian?"
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