I wish all the boyfriends I had had throughout my life were like you Phillip. The longest letter I received was from one of them who lived away from me but it wasn't exactly a letter since he draw everything he wanted to tell me. He's a professional cartoonist. It was cool though, but it wasn't an actual letter but some sort of a personal long comic strip.
He made at least an effort, which is better than many. One of the reasons John and I have kept going after 20 years is that we -do- communicate openly and honestly about feelings. There are a lot of guys out there who simply refuse to do this out of some fear they'll lose the argument or that they've never spent time focusing on what exactly they are feeling. It's too bad, because opening up was one of the most rewarding things I've ever done.
It's always amazing to me when I contrast Jack and Ennis' 20 year "relationship" with my own, and I think one of the things that upsets me about it is my feelings which alternate between anger over how pointless it was to not just take a chance together and sadness over the realization that when you don't have resources or friends that you can be open with who can encourage and support you, and allay your fears, it's not surprising things turned out the way they did.
John and I are living proof that two guys can be together and lead boring, mundane, suburban (or rural for that matter) lives, and nobody cares.
I spend a lot of time interacting with people living in more rural areas around here - western rural New York is still a Republican bastion of the state, although more like the old Rockefeller Republican party than today's conservative Christian base. Yet even in these areas, I notice people have trended towards accepting people based on who they are more than what they are. Nobody wants someone else's "lifestyle" thrust in their face (and they're just as irritated with swinging heterosexuals as they are with the concept of a couple of gay guys flying pride flags and putting pink flamingoes all over the yard next door), but if you treat your neighbors with open respect, friendship, and politeness, people come to accept you accordingly. The days of the mobs with torches are over, and even in states like Wyoming, those that killed Matthew Shepherd were not the average Wyoming resident by any means.
People who know me accept me as me as they get to know me. I don't introduce myself as "Gay Phil." I'm Phillip and people learn more about me if/when they ask questions, and I answer them openly and honestly. The fact I am so confident about answering a question without embarrassment or wavering seems to be easier for people to deal with than if you try and shield your answers.
And ultimately, most people just don't care. Ennis wondering if people "knew" or suspected presumed a lot more than the reality that most folks are first and foremost concerned about their own lives and issues, and most people don't have the time or interest to speculate about others.