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Need some suggestions

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delalluvia:

--- Quote from: serious crayons on February 06, 2010, 07:21:03 pm ---Sounds like you could use some respite, Del. Does your sister help?

--- End quote ---

No.  As soon as I moved in, she bailed on helping.  But it makes sense - why should she drive all the way across town to run errands for my mother - she doesn't live nearby - when I'm living there?


--- Quote from: Kelda on February 06, 2010, 07:40:13 pm ---Or Home Helps? To get her snacks etc? Obviously I'm thinking from a UK NHS perspective?

Are their neighbous who may pop in to check on her?

--- End quote ---

My mother has a nurse that comes every day, but she's not there to do domestic chores.  A home helper was coming twice a week, to sweep, mop, change the bed sheets, help her with her baths, wash dishes, etc., but for some unknown reason they cut her back to once a week, and my mother doesn't like the girl anyway.

She says she never does anything right and if the poor girl can't remember exactly the way my mother wants things, she gets upset with her and wants to report her for bad service.  ::)

At one point during her rambling complaints I said, "Mom, is it really that big a deal to move the towel on your bed over two inches?  Really?"

She just looked at me and didn't say anything else. 

Neighbors do come by, but not very often.  It's a big deal for my mother to have to get up and open the door and stressful for her.  My mother does not dress nor bathe every day.  It's been "too cold" for her.  So she spends the day in her gown and sometimes bathrobe.  She finds it extremely embarrassing for someone to 'drop by' when she's unprepared and not dressed.


--- Quote from: Penthesilea on February 07, 2010, 05:51:30 am ---
Della, I think you might need more than a solution for the milk problem.

(((Della)))

--- End quote ---

Alas, the long-term solution is coming and it will not be pleasant.  :(  Thanks though.

serious crayons:

--- Quote from: delalluvia on February 07, 2010, 12:24:14 pm ---Alas, the long-term solution is coming and it will not be pleasant.  :(  Thanks though.
--- End quote ---

Well, if it's any comfort, when that time comes you will be glad you did what you're doing now.

Front-Ranger:
What I think your mom wants to say is "Help me, pay attention to me! I feel abandoned! I'm getting old and it's scary! I need somebody to walk with me and hold my hand!" but of course she can't actually say that. My mother, although she doesn't live with me, is nearby and needs a lot of help. Actually she is capable of doing more than she thinks, but she is so fearful and has so little self confidence and worries so much that it is paralyzing. The latest very upsetting thing that happened was that she wanted to have her dog, which is doing just fine, put to sleep because she doesn't feel capable of taking care of it. I told her that she WOULD keep Coco and take care of it, and I wouldn't hear such ridiculous talk again!! Everything has been fine since then. I predict your mom won't have any trouble with the milk when the time comes.

Enjoy your new job, Della!!

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