Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
The Reason This Place Might Not For Me
Impish:
Sorry to intrude, as I was never on the original Tremblay board. But in my role as moderater of the Safe Haven board, I would like to toss my concern into the hopper.
I would like the "Hidden" option to remain available for people in the Safe Haven board. Safe Haven is for GLBT members or those who think they might be. I assume that Brokeback opened the closet doors of many, and many more will at last admit to themselves they are gay, lesbian, or bi. These people would be nowhere near ready to come out of the closet... after all, they just went in the closet after seeing BBM!
It's my hope that such people will find their way to the Bettermost site (all of it, including Chez Tremblay).
When he or she sees the title of the Safe Haven board, I would like them to drop by and who knows? Maybe some of them would feel more comfortable with being hidden for a while.
I realize that the Safe Haven board may attract trolls, and I risk enabling them to lurk. I realize that I've asked our straight members to stay out of Safe Haven out of respect and understanding for newly-identified gay people, as I would like them to experience "being the majority" for once. The hidden option allows those who resent my request to come and go as they please, and I'm willing to risk that too.
I'm willing to risk it because there may be one single individual out there who would hesitate before entering the Safe Haven board if he or she couldn't remain incognito.
I have not PM'ed Phillip about this, nor will I make a specific request of him. The Chez Tremblay board and its concerns are equally important to those of the Safe Haven board, and if we look solely at the number of members and the number of posts, CT is more important.
So if the hidden feature goes away, I'll deal with it. I just wanted to share another point of view with you all. :)
Ellemeno:
Hi Impish, welcome, welcome! I had not considered that point. I would rather help a person making an important and needed transition have that opportunity to do it at their pace.
I'm finding that when I look in the upper right hand corner to see who's here, the main thing sparked in me when I see a hidden person is boredom.
I guess where I am now on the issue is neutral. (My personal preference for how it affects me hasn't changed, but I'm seeing a bigger picture.) I let those whom it matters to the most have their say. Would it be useful to have a poll (NOT a vote, a poll) on the issue?
And here's a last (at least for this post) thought - "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" is a pretty good saying. Meaning here, the feature is already set one way and hasn't really caused a problem.
I know, I know, this is not my same tune from yesterday. It's a human's prerogative to change her mind.
RouxB:
Big internal debate on should I post or should I not.
"Should I" wins.
I have to echo Chanterais-David has been an invaluable asset to this board and to suggest otherwise does a disservice to all of us. He is not a "new person" whining about something he doesn't like about the board-he is a friend and family member who is having some stuggles and is reaching out to us. If people don't have enough heart to recognize and accommodate that then how are we calling ourselves a family?
Everyone needs to step back and take a big stinkin breath and calm down :-* and remember what your grammie told you "if you can't say anything nice, shut the flock up"
kisses to all
kisses and hugs to David and anyone else feeling alienated.
sparkle_motion:
By "new", I did not mean David is new. I meant, everyday, a different person is going to be saying he/she wants to leave the board and we will have to reassure them and beg them to stay.
I stand my ground on this, whether I seem insensitive or not. I don't like drama. Period.
I mean, seriously, when it boils down to it, David is threatening to leave because a website function might be taken away. It shows what he thinks of this community and of these people if he's willing to leave over something so ridiculous.
RouxB:
But being part of the discussion makes us a part of the drama. The only way to stay out of drama is to ignore it.
I think I've only seem one other "outta here" post-once again from a long-time member of this group. I guess the point I'm trying to make is just cut people some slack-it costs nothing to be compassionate. If one don't agree with what is being said, and really wants to stay out of the drama, the option to not respond is a good one-the responses often convey the same negativity that they are purporting to address.
If, in fact, everyday some new person wants to post an "I'm leaving" message, let em! So what?! If I (or anyone else) want to post a "please don't" response, what is the issue? That is a loving, positive message. If, on the other hand, I (or anyone else) don't give a poop, where is the positivity in posting that?
I am an argue-er by nature-or nurture. Everyday I have to remember that I don't have to express every dissenting thought that goes through my head. Some things you just gotta let be. That being said, and to extricate myself from THIS drama, I'll shut up now.
Onward and upward and where is my damn DVD??
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