Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum

Coping With the Negative Thinking Demons

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Phillip Dampier:
This morning I experienced one of my little wake-up-with-the-negative-demon-thinking situations.  I notice my emotions ebb and flow during the day, and my lowest point is always very early in the morning, right upon waking.  This morning wasn't anything more dramatic than thinking about building this site and worrying if people will find something useful from it, and actually participate, but it's an example of one of my cycles.

My natural high point of the day is usually late afternoons, and the more sun out there the better (and here in western NY, sometimes the sun goes on the back of milk cartons labeled 'Missing' in the winter months), but we've had a very mild winter thus far.

I've discovered two ways of dealing with the negative thinking:

1) Rationalization - Since I can understand this emotional flow within me, I can rationalize that when I am dealing with the negative thinking, I know time of day for me has a lot to do with it, so I can force this into context.  I can also try and objectively look at what I am feeling and decide whether or not it is valid.  In the case of today's small drama, it's irrational to make any judgments about the progress of a site that is now four days old so "chill."

2) Wait It Out - Sometimes we're just moody because damnit, we are.  This morning I elected to distract myself with activities in order to wait it out after I did the rationalization thing.

BTW, an excellent way of working things out of your system is to try and get outdoors and do some walking.  Exercise is a major help in finding healthy outlets for what's going through your head.  I load up my MP3 player with whatever music or talk strikes me and out I go.  After Brokeback I spent some time with the MP3 player and the soundtrack to the film, and songs that seemed to fit the mood of the film.  Other times, I loaded up some of the interviews and listened to those while walking.  Music seems to let you cope with feelings in your head - speech seems more appropriate when you want to focus on something other than what's on your mind.

If you want to help locate audio resources online such as podcasts related to the movie, feel free to link to them in the Movie Resources section.

injest:
I hope you don't mind me bumping this thread...

It has a lot of good stuff in it. I also have these periods...for me they are more connected to my hormones...but in spite of the fact I am 41 I still don't realize til I have chewed on Don or D or a horse or whatever that I am not so much upset at them as I am in this depressed state...you would think I would eventually 'get' it but I am surprised and angry with myself every time...I admire your ability to analyze yourself..


My natural high is at night...which is not a good thing considering the lifestyle I have.


I like that part about music helping you to deal with what is going on in your head, rather than talking. Andrew is leading me to listen to classical music something I never have before; it is helping me be calmer...gives me an 'excuse' to just be still instead of multitasking all the time...

Br. Patrick:

--- Quote from: Phillip on February 16, 2006, 01:08:06 am ---This morning I experienced one of my little wake-up-with-the-negative-demon-thinking situations.  I notice my emotions ebb and flow during the day, and my lowest point is always very early in the morning, right upon waking.

--- End quote ---

FWIW, that is a primary symptom of Major Depression.  I have been on disability for Chronic Major Depression since 1997.  Meds could probably help you.  Go with Wellbutrin if you don't want to deal with the sexual side-effects.

But you also have recently experienced a MAJOR loss.  Your experiences would then be seen as perfectly normal.   If I can help in anyway, let me know.  I care.  I've been dealing with Mental Health problems since 1988.

peace and THANK YOU for Bettermost :)
br. patrick

Meryl:
Jess, thanks for the bump.  Phillip, it's nice to know that your worries about BetterMost turned out to be for naught.  8)

When I don't have to get up via the alarm clock and have time to wake up gradually, those worries that lie just below the surface run through my thoughts as I'm dozing.  If I pay attention to them, it gives me an idea of the emotional stuff I need to look at instead of shoving it under the rug.  Nature's way of telling me to clean house?  Maybe.  I know that when I finally take action on those things I feel lots better.  :)

Katie77:
Depression....an inisidiuos place to be, and yet, some of us, tend to want to stay there, regardless of how sad and unhappy we feel when we are there.

Most of us have had some period of depression in our life, but thankfully, most can get themselves out of it, before it becomes a "way of life".........but some of us get so far down, that the climb back up seems unreachable, and just too damn hard.

I've been there, and with help from medication and therapy, managed to climb out of it, and if I ever feel myself slipping down again, I remember what it was like down there in the dark, and tell myself, not to go there again.

I find positive thinking the best remedy....no matter how bad things seem, if you look, you will always find some positive, and that is what you need to concentrate on....Instead of looking at all the bad things around you, look at the good things, no matter how small, if you think of the bad things, they just get bigger and bigger, the same can happen with good things, they too, will get bigger and bigger too, and eventually overtake those bad thoughts.

I think, people who are depressed, sometimes think that everyone else around them, is leading a happy and fullfilling life, and that they are the only ones living a sad and troublesome life.....everybody has their ups and downs, we have to learn to accept that, and learn to deal with them as they happen....another good thing to think about is that we cannot change the past, we only have control of changing the future, it is up to us to concentrate on that, rather than to dwell on what has happened before.

I am no expert on the subject, I only know how I handled my own depression and recovery.

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