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Messages From The Heartland
midwest-girl:
"A permanent state of mourning." That's a perfect way to put it Kerry. I spent six months stuck there. Crying almost every day. My husband totally freaked out and worried, my kids thinking mommy had gone off her rocker. It was only when I started reading fanfic, and writing it, that I could slowly move to a better place with Jack and Ennis. I still have my days, believe me, but my heart doesn't hurt constantly anymore.
David In Indy:
Kerry, I believe we are discussing chapter 11 of SoG right now?
This was one of my favorite parts from that chapter....
Jack brought one hand up, passing his fingers over Ennis’s mouth. “Shhh…” he soothed. “It’s all right, Ennis. There’s no reason for you to be jealous.” He pressed against Ennis’s lower lip with his thumb, his eyes gentle. “I never loved him.”
“Jack…” Ennis moaned, burying his face in Jack’s neck, the air clogging in his lungs. He wished he could say something back, something that Jack would be able to take with him when he left. But in the end Ennis couldn’t find the words, had to be content to tell Jack with his body, rocking inside of him while his body whispered, Mine, Jack, you’re mine.
Chapter 11 "Shades of Grey"
I just loved that. It seemed so real to me. Not only did it seemed real to me as a gay man, but it seemed so.... Ennis and Jack.
I always loved it when Amy put things like that in her story. :D
David In Indy:
--- Quote from: midwest-girl on January 24, 2007, 10:23:24 am ---I'm glad you're still liking the story, Kerry. I suppose an author shouldn't point out her own flaws, but what the hell.... For those of you who've read the story...I messed up and gave both Ennis's mother and Jill (who Kerry hasn't met yet) gaps between their front teeth. Oops. I didn't even notice it until I re-read the whole story. That's one of the things I changed when I said I went back and cleaned up the story. Sorry!! That's what happens when you're trying to pound out a chapter a week. LOL. ;)
--- End quote ---
I LOVED Jill! I also loved Ellis. For some reason I pictured Ellis to look a bit like James Earl Jones! :)
midwest-girl:
--- Quote from: David925 on January 24, 2007, 10:37:52 pm ---I LOVED Jill! I also loved Ellis. For some reason I pictured Ellis to look a bit like James Earl Jones! :)
--- End quote ---
Me, too! LOL.
Kerry:
--- Quote from: midwest-girl on January 24, 2007, 10:20:11 pm ---"A permanent state of mourning." That's a perfect way to put it Kerry. I spent six months stuck there. Crying almost every day. My husband totally freaked out and worried, my kids thinking mommy had gone off her rocker. It was only when I started reading fanfic, and writing it, that I could slowly move to a better place with Jack and Ennis. I still have my days, believe me, but my heart doesn't hurt constantly anymore.
--- End quote ---
Most of my tears these days are tears of joy, primarily as a result of the fanfic plots and scenarios. I want so desperately for Jack and Ennis to live happily ever after, wherever or however that may be, I invariably end up in floods of tears when that's what transpires in the plot. But they're tears of release - of happiness. Like you, I still have my dark days, but they're slowly becoming more and more infrequent. I know, though, that I will never stop loving Jack and Ennis. They have changed my life and become a permanent part of me.
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