BetterMost Community Blogs > I Miss You On Weekends
I miss you on weekends
Shakesthecoffecan:
That is really an interesting development that Bill's mother is a lesbian. I would imagine that would take the pressure off some what about rejection fears.
Enjoy the movie. I am itching to go see Pan Labarenth. However you spel it.
Lumière:
Hiya Phoenix ..
Just leaving a note to say I'm still reading here and still rooting for you bud. ;)
One more thing .. did you say Bill's mom's girlfriend 'beats' them? ???
Forgive me if I misunderstood what you were saying ..
Kelda:
--- Quote from: RebelWithSadness on December 23, 2006, 01:47:59 am ---I hope i didn't bore you guys too much, but i had to get this stuff down. I was too afraid to forget it.
--- End quote ---
No - I loved it Pheonix - sounds like you have had a packed few weeks.
Hope you are good.
xx
RebelWithASmile:
thank you all for commenting.
Lynne, i hope that book arrives soon, I'm slowly dying. And i have to agree, though i DID read the article, i believe that homosexuality 'develops' in the womb, and esp. in the childhood of someone. I have shown many symptoms of being gay all throughout my life (playing with barbies, close relationship with mother, envisionist.) Don't deny it, all gay men are like that ;)
Lucise, yeah, i meant Bill's mom's girl friend is a transvestite, and beats on everyone. He doesn't know if he can even go to the movies this weekend. I won't go if he can't. :( Always something keeping us apart!
And it has been a packed year. Several mood swings, and i don't know if the last two days are for the better or worse, you guys decide, because there's something definitely changing in mine and Bill's relationship.
1/10-11
Well, we get our schedules for the next semester, and i find out Bill has lunch with me!!!!! I thought he didn't, but he does, so its awesome.
I got a email from my cousin (who's a lesbian) which is cool. She knows what I'm going through, and I'm just happy for once that I'm not being misunderstood (I often am).
This is random, but I notice i go crazy if i feel left out from anything.
A friend of mine says she might switch lunches next semester, which kind of stinks. She is my best friend.
Well, today Bill told me he is going to the career center next school year....and he kind of tried to get me to go, and I MIGHT!
He's studying computers, which oddly, i've loved to do (since i'm always on one ::) ) we both want to create video games---yeah, we're both losers--but two losers....
When talking about the career center, he told a girl (indirectly) that he would miss me the most out of everyone :'(
that was a nice thought.
He's still looking forward to the movies this weekend. I'm dying to go. He says he still needs to talk to his mom about it, and i agreed. I literally said 'if she cares, she'd listen to you'. He has problems with his mom's girl friend, as i stated before. Bill still thinks that i think his mom has a boy friend, and isn't gay. I'm not going to confront him about it, because i don't want to put him in the spotlight.
I was wondering what you all thought about me going to the career center. I hadn't quite planned it, but i was kinda interested, and i've always dreamed to do awesome graphic designs on the computer. But he is the main reason i'd go. Also a Girl i like is going, and i could use that as a reason. I don't want him to forget me....i don't think he wants to, but he will. He confides in me a lot, mainly because our loneliness reads the same. He lives in the middle of nowhere, and i am nowhere.
Sorry for ranting!
My first job (in the summer) is going to be with sheep. Quite ironic, but i'm going to help shed them. Then next year it will be Alpacas :laugh: for $ 100 a day. Awesome
talk to you all later
love, Phoenix
Shakesthecoffecan:
I want the sheep job! Jeez, a hunnered dollars a day! Itchy I bet.....
I know exactly what you mean about being left out, it feels like rejection, like an assault on your self worth. It is hard at your age, and takes time to grow out of, thru self confidence, knowing what you want. People your age are often portrayed as having a "pack mentality", which I know is a sterortype. Its okay to feel that way, just don't let it get the best of you.
Yes, go to the career center, but no just because Bill is going. Ask yourself, what if I do this and at the last minute he does not. Will this still be the a path I am intereted in taking? I hope the answer will be yes, but cannot wish for you. It is hard, nigh-on impossible for someon under 25 to know what they want to do with their life, but computors and gamining is a good area to develop skills in.
And that's my rant. 8)
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