BetterMost Community Blogs > I Miss You On Weekends
I miss you on weekends
RebelWithASmile:
10/9 Columbus Day
I had school, unfortunately
Last night i had made a CD for a friend (a girl) but she wasn't at school today so i gave it to BILL! (my crush) He wanted it, so i was pleased.
I was really scared, because in between some classes i usually get to see him, but i didn't today. I thought he had went home sick, so i panicked.
At lunch, he told me to sit next to him again! I gave him lunch money as usual, and i asked him to gaurd my food. We talked A LOT today. he even read a part from this book that he thought i would like to hear. I've never heard him read before ::) it was sweet.
He went to help some kids carry in some heavy band equipment. I just watched in Awe....
As usual, when a man in uniform walks by, Bill salutes him, as he is really respectful, and he longs to join the military.
I think he's gay
I was shaking madly when i asked him if he wanted the CD (its a Evanescence CD, their new one entitled 'The Open Door') i'm glad he said yes.
He consoled me when i told him i might break up with my girl friend. He understands that well....
After school, when i gave the CD to him, we were walking to our buses together, and he would normally spew out something quickly, then gallop ahead, and run to his bus...today he walked with me the whole way :'( and i remembered saying 'seeya' because i'm used to him leaving so early, and he retorted 'i'm not going nowhere' and i almost cried. I'm very happy at the moment. I gave him a poem, as we like that stuff. This is the poem...
Twisted Symphony
My god, do you watch the fire dancing
Or soothe the invalid women panting?
Why art thou weak?
And yet this is my Twisted Symphony
A clock strikes twelve
and someone dies
they all die
And yet this is my twisted lullabye
I want to make you sleep
rest within the clutches of an angel
I am no angel
I am my own catalyst
No one else has seen through these eyes
while I chant my twisted lullabye
The rancid smell of change
disgusts me
No, there will be no harmony
only my twisted symphony
tell me what you think?
I was called a F*G on the net for no reasons. Oh well
wulfar360:
who called you that? the internet is full of hate because people can say stuff they normally woudnlt have the balls to
its cool you and bill are hitting it off thats awsome really
i usually salute a man in uniform to but they cant see it ! gah that sounded bad?
RebelWithASmile:
--- Quote from: wulfar360 on October 10, 2006, 12:52:51 am ---who called you that? the internet is full of hate because people can say stuff they normally woudnlt have the balls to
its cool you and bill are hitting it off thats awsome really
i usually salute a man in uniform to but they cant see it ! gah that sounded bad?
--- End quote ---
A guy on youtube.com commented on one of my brokeback music videos, and he said it was disgusting that they kissed so agressively. He asked why they did, and i PMEd telling him thanks for commenting on my video, and i told him why Ennis/Jack kissed so deadly. Well, he responded back "fuck you fag" and he misspelled 'fuck.' LMAO! I PMed him back and said 'anytime, but you wont be around to see it as i'm getting you banned. Learn how to spell.' hehe.
At a wrestling site, a guy i got into a very nasty fight with a while back PMed me out of nowhere and attacked me. He was same old, same old....
10/10 Early release day.
Bill told me he thinks i will be the next Edgar Allen Poe. LOL, but it was nice to say. In the morn he gave me a poem of his own, which was really good. Better than 'twisted symphony.' I told him he should be proud of it, and i forced him to take it back from me (he was going to let me have it)
It was a quick day, too quick. I didn't have enough time to talk to him that much.
Bill, next semester, wont have lunch with me......
I asked all our friends, and the way he lifted his hand slowly, melancholically to feed my inquiry. I looked away and i almost cried. I was very lachyrmose. I was shaking in my next class, and i don't know why god always does this shit to me. Sorry for the language, but its not right, it ALWAYS happens to me. And then i'll be alone.
He's the only one i can talk to about....... well, me.
Shakesthecoffecan:
Man, you should keep his poems, hell, that was a nice jesture.
RebelWithASmile:
--- Quote from: shakestheground on October 10, 2006, 10:36:31 pm ---Man, you should keep his poems, hell, that was a nice jesture.
--- End quote ---
I was going to, and i hope i didn't seem rude giving it back. It was good, too good to not be shown by its author IMO.
I was going to keep it for later nostalgia i know i'll be having.
i wrote another poem, this one is...interesting
Bittersweet
I’m useless
A soul is not to hurt this much
I give up, I let you win
You are spineless
Purging a tortured being
Like myself
I’m crying
I’ve wasted enough on the moment
I waste some, you do too
Its something we both need to get through
I see the light, it doesn’t exist
I see your pain, it’s my bliss
But it doesn’t exist
Its wasted emotions
I’m crestfallen
Tears fallen
Love is hate
Mouth agate
Love is steel
Cold to peel
Rapid lashes
Leave thy ashes
I am lost
And yet found
While I’m near the ground
Hate me not this day
For I am your lies
Hear my cries
Burn yourself
You forsaken pagan
For only a forest will grow
Once it falls
Hear my calls
I love you not
My blood clot
Killing me deadly
Why must you hurt me so?
For I am bittersweet
::)
Bill is my Brokeback Mountain and inspiration
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