better have nothing than sadness.
'sadness' makes me feel like a victim.
happy Friday the 13th, last Friday the 13th was the worst day of my life, and i had cried in my sleep.
i've never heard Strange fruit, but i'm downloading it now
Me and Bill got into a fight. He was undermining my feelings, but i was drinking.....i left a voice mail on his phone that wasn't supposed to get to him (i was going to erase it, and record another one instead) but i accidentally closed my phone. It made him feel like shit, he said, he just wanted to shoot himself, i guess. Finally he knows how i feel everytime i talk to him.
But i didn't mean to hurt him. The whole next day i waited for him to call. Life was hectic that day (yesterday). Everyone was fighting and in a bad mood. I hate my family.
well, when Bill did call me (at 9:30 at night!) he was depressed/pissed off. He told me about the voice mail, and i apologized (as he wasn't supposed to get that one.) Then he said 'that's all i wanted.'
that kinda made me angry. He wasn't apologizing for hurting MY FEELINGS!! And he said he didn't know he did, but when i was on the phone to him the day before (when he upset me) i told him about it, and he even said something that showed that he knew, but didn't care. I don't think he does, to be honest, he just won't admit it. That really pissed me off. What about my feelings? He can't handle ANYTHING.
but then, he's more concerned with our mutual friend Keli, because he told her that i was mad at her....than with me and my feelings. He said he always hurts my feelings, so basically, he was blaming it on me. I told him that i needed to hang up before i said something i'd regret....and trust me, i could of said a lot.