BetterMost Community Blogs > I Miss You On Weekends

I miss you on weekends

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Br. Patrick:
You are headed straight on into adulthood - and that is a very good thing.  For one thing you will have much more freedom in what you are able to do.  For me, work at your age was great because I was getting paid for something that I really liked doing - even if it was a cook in a truck stop.

Vast Vistas are opening.   Stay in the moment so you can take it all in..  And enjoy!

{{{Cyberhugs}}}

br. p

RebelWithASmile:
thanks a lot!


now, i wanted to ask some things and rant a tad. I'm being serious, though it may sound ridiculous.


First, i have to say lately that i've been afraid to lose my creative side, and that i'm truly going to become boring and forgettable. I was wondering if anyone else had this problem? Does creativity = spacey and in the zone, or what does it mean? lol sometimes i feel stupid and common, my minds been a full time job this summer, figuring things out, hating, loathing, and being jealous. I'm working through the jealousy, but its like ripping carpet up from the floor. I want to know if i am going to be creative or not?  :laugh: thats such a dumb thing to say, but i feel like i'm losing all self worth and individuality. What is creativity?


okay, well anyways...i have a guy friend i met online. He's nice, but i must say i don't see him as someone i'd date. He's just somebody else, and i feel bad for him, but i think he'd just bring me down. Not very nice to say, but thats my true feelings. I don't like him, should i tear the ties? i need guidance! lol We've met in person a few times. I always thought i was someone that could love everybody, perhaps thats just a young age curiosity.

i just wanted to update on myself. I don't have many people to look up to. Trying to find it in myself, because i'm trying to only prove myself to myself. Ha, myself.


I watched My Beautiful Laundrette, because of the promise of a gay Daniel Day-Lewis. The movie was half bad, but i really liked the relationship between the two leads, very sensual.

i want to make movies, badly. I have two more Brokeback music videos i've made, and they are different from my others, i wanted to know if people would watch them and comment back? I want to know if i'm heading in a good direction.

this ones to Love by John Lennon




this one is to Sad Clown by Sarah McLachlan




i like to experiment with music and movies A LOT. If anyone really wanted to share any personal favorite artists or movies, i'd like to further educate myself in both (and i'd gladly do the same!)

thank you guys a lot, i needed someone to write to :)

milomorris:

--- Quote from: RebelWithASmile on August 11, 2009, 01:02:56 pm ---First, i have to say lately that i've been afraid to lose my creative side, and that i'm truly going to become boring and forgettable. I was wondering if anyone else had this problem? Does creativity = spacey and in the zone, or what does it mean? lol sometimes i feel stupid and common, my minds been a full time job this summer, figuring things out, hating, loathing, and being jealous. I'm working through the jealousy, but its like ripping carpet up from the floor. I want to know if i am going to be creative or not?  :laugh: thats such a dumb thing to say, but i feel like i'm losing all self worth and individuality. What is creativity?

--- End quote ---

What is creativity? I don't know if there is a definitive answer to that, but I can certainly offer a description.

I'm an opera singer. So for me creativity means putting my own personal interpretation into the music that I sing. It also means looking at the character through my own eyes, and rendering him onstage in a way that communicates clearly to the audience what I think the character is going through. Combined with my own interpretation of the music and the character are the director's and conductor's ideas on the same. Frequently, I am left on my own regarding musical and dramatic choices, other times the conductor and/or director has a specific way they want me to do things.


--- Quote from: RebelWithASmile on August 11, 2009, 01:02:56 pm ---okay, well anyways...i have a guy friend i met online. He's nice, but i must say i don't see him as someone i'd date. He's just somebody else, and i feel bad for him, but i think he'd just bring me down. Not very nice to say, but thats my true feelings. I don't like him, should i tear the ties? i need guidance! lol We've met in person a few times. I always thought i was someone that could love everybody, perhaps thats just a young age curiosity.

--- End quote ---

It ain't your job to like everybody. And sometimes people come into our lives that are not relationship material. If you really don't like the guy, why are dealing with him at all? If its just for the sex, that's OK, but be honest with yourself and him about your motives.


--- Quote from: RebelWithASmile on August 11, 2009, 01:02:56 pm ---i want to make movies, badly. I have two more Brokeback music videos i've made, and they are different from my others, i wanted to know if people would watch them and comment back? I want to know if i'm heading in a good direction.

this ones to Love by John Lennon




this one is to Sad Clown by Sarah McLachlan



--- End quote ---

I'll have to check these out when I get home. Computer at work has no sound.



--- Quote from: RebelWithASmile on August 11, 2009, 01:02:56 pm ---i like to experiment with music and movies A LOT. If anyone really wanted to share any personal favorite artists or movies, i'd like to further educate myself in both (and i'd gladly do the same!)

--- End quote ---

I have no skills when it comes such things...nor the software to do it myself. But had an idea for a BBM vid a couple years ago as I was waiting for a bus to a rehearsal for an opera I was doing in Houston. It would be a video of all the happy moments between Jack & Ennis set to Kelly Clarkson singing "A Moment Like This."

Kelda:
Hi Rebel!
Hope you are well.

I can't see youtube vids at work unfortunately.

I'd let the guy down gently bit by bit and fade out of his life. If he's needy the sudden stop may make it worse for both concerned so just wait a bit longer to send that email, dont go on to MSN as much when hes on (or block him.. he'll not know that you've done it and it'll look like you're just not on msn when hes on.

Br. Patrick:
Rebel~!

The very words that you write are those of one infused with creativity!  Creative people ask questions about things.  And if your into making you-tube videos, I envy you for that!  I, myself, do video editing with the final product burned to a DVD.  I also play keyboards and have composed 5 volumes of music for the monastery.  As for the guy.. take his feelings into account and STOP.  The sooner the better.  :-\

All of what you are experiencing is perfectly normal.   Take comfort in that.  ;)

{{{Cyberhugs}}}

br. p

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