BetterMost Community Blogs > I Miss You On Weekends
I miss you on weekends
Front-Ranger:
Happy birthday, Phoenix!!
RebelWithASmile:
a late thanks for the Birthday wishes :)
i would like to say that i am totally in an emotional desert. I want to know what this is, but i can't understand it. Its like i have to force myself to feel things. I've been very jealous lately (past year) of a friend of mine - he's a lovely person, but he's priveledged and has an amazing drawing ability and his good looking and i feel that feeling i used to with my older brother - this person is better than me in everyway. It has been so much worse than it is now. But i see how sensitive he is (he was sheltered) and how he picks up things, when usually i was the one to pick up things, a weird hyper perception towards movies/music. He plays my games but is better at them.
i have felt pretty bad about myself lately. But me and this guy have a fantastic friendship - we are very close, he loves me, and i love him. We are not together tho, just together. He knows i want to, but he does not.
sometimes i feel that i can't feel anything, and then i get jealous because he's apparently feeling everything.
i don't understand.
Front-Ranger:
Hi, Phoenix! Thanks for giving us an update on your life. It must be very disconcerting with your friend. I hate it when I'm on a different wavelength than my partner or the timing's off. But that is the way it often is, sigh. Not very often does that magical Brokeback Mountain thing happen when everything is right, the bluebirds are singing, and the whiskey is flowing.
A person can grow to love another person, though, over time. You can't force it, but it can happen sometimes. That's just my opinion.
Stay in touch with us. Do you still write and compose poetry? You are so gifted in that arena.
Kelda:
Ditto to what Front Ranger said!
Br. Patrick:
When I was your age I had many phases of trying to figure out who was me. I emulated people I liked and became what they wanted. Then I moved into a Commune and did the same thing and was called on it because I was told I seemed like different people with others. It was said with love so I took my favorite qualities of them all and made them mine. It's perfectly normal to "become" oneself. It's a process. You'll come through OK.
Love and Prayers,
br. p
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