The World Beyond BetterMost > The Culture Tent
What Happened???
milomorris:
--- Quote from: delalluvia on February 19, 2012, 08:54:33 pm ---What did you say Milo? Oh, that they're just aunts/uncles.
--- End quote ---
That's correct. And my position has not changed. Many family members contribute to the upbringing of a child. They cannot all claim to be parents.
Shakesthecoffecan:
--- Quote from: milomorris on February 20, 2012, 11:06:44 am ---That's correct. And my position has not changed. Many family members contribute to the upbringing of a child. They cannot all claim to be parents.
--- End quote ---
Have a nice day! ;D
serious crayons:
--- Quote from: RouxB on February 19, 2012, 06:14:54 pm ---Excuses. It isn't about full fat dressing vs. low or non-fat dressing! It's about making choices that aren't getting you where you want to be! A cup of full fat dressing has half a day's worth of calories which isn't in this situation getting me where I want to be. So I need to make different choices, fat free dressing is only one available option. I can use far less dressing, I can use lemon juice, I can use seasoned rice vinegar, I can order something else. You don't need to know my life story to know that my counterproductive food choices might be the reason I am not losing the weight that I am trying to lose.
--- End quote ---
And by the way, my reaction to your salad dressing illustration was not "excuses." (I'm sorry, but I hate having what I consider reasonable and carefully worded counterarguments dismissively waved off as "excuses.") It was my attempt, which evidently didn't impress you, to show that watching someone eat one meal may not give you sufficient insight over her entire dietary habits to diagnose her weight-loss obstacles. Which, after all, is really what we're talking about here: does a casual observer see enough in a brief glimpse to successfully fix someone's life? Not "do they know enough to make a possibly helpful suggestion" -- of course they can do that. But do they know enough to get a few rough facts, tell the person they've immediately spotted the entire underlying problem, and present it with an added little "It's really that easy!"
I can assure you, full-fat dressing is not what stands between me and losing 20 pounds. That problem has much more to do with beer and cookies, but you haven't seen me consume those. If you had, and you pointed out that drinking too much beer and eating too many cookies might be detrimental to my weight-loss efforts, I would probably politely thank you. But my tone would be rather flat because, guess what, I already knew that.
If someone has genuinely little-known information to impart, it's helpful. If the tone is polite and not overbearing, it's usually welcome. But if someone points out the stunningly obvious as the solution to someone else's problem, or presents him/herself as an authority on an endeavor that s/he has never actually attempted, it's irritating. Most people know that salad dressing can be fattening when they're basically eating salad-dressing soup with specks of lettuce floating in it.
And this is an excellent analogy for the child-rearing issue.
ifyoucantfixit:
This whole issue to me is getting tiresome. We are all going to have to agree, to disagree. We are never going to convince some of the people here, that they are wrong. They are never going to agree that we are correct. I think that what must be done from here on out. Is to just say to a person, that ~thinks~ that they know how to raise a child better than an actual parent. As has been intimated to from some of the people in this discussion. We will just have to say. Think what you want to think. You are going to do so anyway. Just keep your opinions of those parents to yourself, unless you are asked for advice. Otherwise you are just going to alienate people that don't care to hear your opinions.
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