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Should a gay man's fake fiancée attend his funeral?
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: southendmd on October 10, 2012, 01:05:42 pm ---Well, the letter says he was already out to his family. But they didn't accept it.
She shouldn't have to perpetuate their lie, either. Of course, the funeral is not the place to confront the parents about that. The parents need the beard, not David.
I think she should go, and use the "we was good friends" comment and leave it at that.
--- End quote ---
I agree. I think, however, my own concern for her has less to do with the deceased's parents as it does with interactions she may have to have with cousins, aunts, uncles, neighbors, high-school classmates, and others of that nature. How to avoid perpetuating to them the family's disagreeable lie and also to avoid outing the deceased?
southendmd:
--- Quote from: Jeff Wrangler on October 10, 2012, 01:24:58 pm ---I agree. I think, however, my own concern for her has less to do with the deceased's parents as it does with interactions she may have to have with cousins, aunts, uncles, neighbors, high-school classmates, and others of that nature. How to avoid perpetuating to them the family's disagreeable lie and also to avoid outing the deceased?
--- End quote ---
If pressed (which would be pretty rude) she could simply say that they weren't engaged ("Must have been a misunderstanding..."). That alone wouldn't out David at all.
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: southendmd on October 10, 2012, 01:33:40 pm ---If pressed (which would be pretty rude) she could simply say that they weren't engaged ("Must have been a misunderstanding..."). That alone wouldn't out David at all.
--- End quote ---
Good thinking!
She could blame the newspaper or the funeral director for an error in the obituary, but I guess that would be lying. ... 8)
Monika:
I´m all for exposing the truth. I can´t believe that - even in death - the parents can´t accept their own son.
I wonder if this dad is a stud duck, too.
Shakesthecoffecan:
It bothers me that this ultra conservative family would need to involve someone in a lie, and not even bother to consult with her first. It would have been better had they not said she was his fiancée, but now that they have I think it is their duty at the very least to say this was incorrect information. They do not have to tell people their son was gay, that is no ones business, but they have no business forcing her into their subterfuge when what she needs to be doing is grieving for her friend. Granted, people in shock do some crazy things, I have been there myself, but IMO they are the ones that needs to set things straight.
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