The World Beyond BetterMost > The Culture Tent
The Curious Case of Gayface: Should straight actors play gay roles?
Front-Ranger:
--- Quote from: serious crayons on June 17, 2013, 10:41:29 pm ---
Rock Hudson was a romantic star, but he was no longer playing those sorts of roles by the time he was fully out, as opposed to rumored-about. And NPH isn't the equivalent of a matinee idol like, say, George Clooney or Tom Cruise or Megan Fox or whoever.
--- End quote ---
Rock Hudson never came out in his lifetime. He did admit contracting AIDs but said he must have gotten it from a blood transfusion.
milomorris:
--- Quote from: CellarDweller on August 22, 2013, 08:45:39 pm ---Two of them are a married couple I've known since the 90s, their three kids call me "Uncle Chuck", and they frequently ask me to join them at their church, which is open and affirming with a large gay membership, in the hopes that I'll meet someone.
--- End quote ---
This is off-topic, but I just wanted to encourage you to go to church with your friends. Church is a great place to make new friends and establish relationships whether they be romantic or platonic. I have known several people who fell in love with someone they met at church. Just go, and let things fall into place.
milomorris:
--- Quote from: x-man on August 22, 2013, 01:56:57 pm ---Responses to my original posting regarding why we should even expect Hollywood to make gay-friendly movies have ranged from "very harsh" to " bigoted" and "a patent falsehood." I'll accept "harsh," but bad news often is.
I think we BetterMost members live on islands of toleration that are not general, not worldwide, and not as solid as we might like to believe. I live in Toronto, which is to gay Canadians what San Francisco is to gay Americans. We have had same-sex marriage since 2003, and federally across Canada since 2005. Yet even today in Toronto high schools the major cause of bullying is perceived sexual orientation. And we continue to have gay-bashings, although not often. What is it like where you are? Now think of the rest of the world--Russia and its anti-gay law so much in the news, countries where being gay subjects you to long imprisonment or death. And these are just the worst examples.
Gay film makers are now making movies with happy endings and abandoning the gay-as-tortured-victim motif so common to movies of the past. I applaud this, but still I wonder. Perhaps BBM had it right all along. Joe Aguirre threw Jack out of his office when he came looking for a job that second summer. Alma told Ennis, "Jack Twist, Jack nasty." Ennis' father forced 9-year old Ennis to look at the battered, old, dead cowboy in order to teach him a lesson. And, of course, Jack was beaten to death in the same way, leaving Ennis to face a meaningless future. Are things now really so different on the larger scale than they were in BBM days?
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You're right. Bad news is often harsh.
But I have had a lifetime of other blacks telling me the world is more harsh than it actually is. And while I cannot deny or refute the fact that bigotry against minorities--sexual or ethnic--exists, there is some considerable distance between being aware of such bigotry, and living one's life as if everyone in the "other" group is automatically going to hate you.
My parents and grandparents grew up in South Carolina under Jim Crow. My head is full of stories of racist experiences and behaviors. But my folks never taught me to be afraid of white people. They DID teach me to keep both eyes open, and because I took that advice, I was able to see that there are many wonderful white folks out there--people whom I respect and care for deeply. The same can be said for many of the heterosexuals in my sphere.
You ask if things are different now than they were in BBM days. I'd say that the answer is yes. Black men still make up the largest number of hate-crime victims, and sexual minorities still get abused. But things are a far cry better now for both groups than they were in 1963. And I can say that as someone who does not live on an island of tolerance. About three years ago, my partner and I moved from Philadelphia to a rural town in Pennsylvania--a state with a reputation for having a large number of "hate groups." The people I've met out here can plainly see that I'm black, and most of them know that I'm in love with a man. So far, so good.
CellarDweller:
--- Quote from: milomorris on August 23, 2013, 02:22:03 pm ---This is off-topic, but I just wanted to encourage you to go to church with your friends. Church is a great place to make new friends and establish relationships whether they be romantic or platonic. I have known several people who fell in love with someone they met at church. Just go, and let things fall into place.
--- End quote ---
I'm a little hesitant, but not for the reasons one may suspect.
I was raised in the Catholic church, so I'm no stranger to a Sunday mass. I have a personal relationship with God even though I don't go to church on a regular basis. That being said (and I don't mean this to sound cocky) I have enough friends. It's getting to the point that I'm always getting calls for dinner, to hang out, go dancing, and other functions, and I'm very happy to be asked. To me, it seems "wrong" to join any church with the thought "I'll find a man there!" :D I think most people go to church to develop bonds with like-minded people, and to develop a relationship with God. I already have both. It may seem stupid, but I'd feel like I'm using religion to find a man, and that doesn't feel right to me. I could be wrong....but that's how I feel. I have been thinking about it more lately.
Sorry for going off-topic, but I didn't want Milo's post to go unanswered.
serious crayons:
One big reason people join churches, though, is for the community and social support. My aunt, a single woman in her 70s, advised me to consider joining one for that reason. And I may take her advice.
tt would be Unitarian, in my case. I'm not Christian, and I'm agnostic. But Unitarians are OK with both of those.
My mom was involved in the Unitarian church, and when she started showing signs of Alzhemer's, her pastor stepped up and got ahold of me to try to help her. When she died, years on years later, having not been involved in the church for years on years (she had moved out of state), the new pastor, who had never even met her, delivered an amazing eulogy, and the church ladies helped put together a really nice memorial service for her.
That's how I realized that churches, even relatively heathen ones like the Unitarians, serve a really important social function.
Sometimes I feel like I have enough friends. But as an aging single person, I also feel like never enough friends, never enough.
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