Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Fan Fiction & Poetry
Zero at the Bone by MadLori
Mikaela:
--- Quote from: mariez on October 19, 2007, 10:06:52 pm ---
I believe Janice is right - they wanted D, not Jack - they know Jack has a personal relationship with D because of Jack's own testimony that he was involved with someone while in hiding (it had to have been D - they were on the run together) so they were counting on the fact that Jack would risk his life for D.
--- End quote ---
I see the bit about how they knew J&D are involved. Good point. But I still am confused as to why the "Brothers" would want to get at D first. What's he to them, - an assassin who took on a contract of theirs and then went back on it, and helped bring a condemning witness to get to actually testify. OK, I can see they would be wanting revenge for that, but.... I still think the plot to abduct Jack seemed an overly elaborate and strange way of getting back at D. ???
I think killing Jack, and publicly so, OTOH, surely *would* be highest on their immediate agenda - if nothing else so as to make a point to everyone else contemplating to testify against them, ever. And if they do know the full extent of D's and J's relationship, which I agree seems likely - what better way of getting back at D than killing Jack; - taking from D the man he loves, rubbing his nose in how he didn't manage to protect Jack from them after all... They could then get to D in their own good time, he could be dealt with quietly, - his death would not be about making a gory point to witnesses far and wide.
Unless, of course, they're so set in the ways of some screwed-up "Code of honour" that they'll go to any lengths to force any assassin who's taken one of their contracts to carry out the hit - if they have to hunt him till the end of the world, and use Jack as bait. But that would seemingly make the "others" redundant in the storyline!?! Aaarggh! I give up! ;D
--- Quote ---I did understand why Jack went outside, I thought his internal dialogue and the way he argued with himself was great.
--- End quote ---
I completely agree. And I have a serious weakness for Lori's whole "action dentist" thing. He's my kind of dentist. ;)
--- Quote ---I don't think we know yet whether the two separate bad guy groups are communicating - we don't even know yet exactly why the second group wants D.
--- End quote ---
At first I thought the abduction was set up by the second group (since the main aim of it seemed to be getting hold of D, not killing Jack) But then the assassin gave that greeting from "evil lawyer" and I scrapped that idea. Not that everyone wouldn't know of "evil lawyer's" humiliation, but why should an assassin working for the other group waste time and voice on pretending to work for the brothers to Jack, who he was just going to kill anyway? It didn't matter what Jack thought. Hmmm....
--- Quote --- I am so anxious for the next chapter!
--- End quote ---
Ditto, of course! :) Everything will surely become clear once we learn who the "others" are and what their fulll agenda is, and how they're connected to the Brothers, if at all.
Now there are so many plots within plots that my head is spinning - but in the best way! :)
MadLori:
Hi everyone! I know I don't come to this board much but I do read it regularly, and I thought I'd come here to address some of your questions.
First, about Brad Salie's substandard witness preparation. I did mean to imply that Brad HAD been preparing for Jack's cross-examination but we just didn't see it on screen, so to speak, and one can never FULLY prepare a witness for cross. Brad did warn Jack that his sexuality might be dragged in, and Brad was prepared to refute this assertion if the judge had let it stand.
The point about the eye-color trick is well taken, though. That's really a mistake on my part. I should have written it that Carlisle had tried similar tricks before but never that particular trick, because if he was as well known for it as Brad said he was, it'd quickly lose its effectiveness as witnesses were warned against it. Then again, a slight variation (he could just ask what his tie-tack looks like instead of what color his eyes were if he knew prosecutors were telling their witnesses to make sure and note the attorney's eye color) would make the trick just as effective. The convo between Jack and Brad in the bar is a bit off, and that's my fault. Sometimes it's hard to think through the ramifications of every single thing when you're writing chapters this fast, especially when there are so many things to think through as there are in this plot. It wasn't intended as a subtle hint as to Brad Salie's nefarious motives.
As for the back-alley attack...you're right in that Petros works for the Brothers, and there is no connection between them and the still-unnamed forces who are pursuing D, so this attack was NOT motivated by a desire to hurt D but a desire to kill Jack. So why didn't they do it in the bar? They could have. But consider that a quick, expedient hit would be desirable before Jack's testimony, but once he's given it the situation changes somewhat. After he's done his damage, his death is primarily useful to the brothers as a deterrent. Therefore they'd want to make it as long, drawn-out and painful as possible...and that is Petros' speciality, and the entire reason they brought him into this situation. They obviously can't do that in a bar and would need to remove him to a secure location to torture the hell out of him before dumping his body somewhere public and letting everyone see what had been done to him and over how long a time. The message being "See? THIS is what you're in for if you testify."
I'm glad y'all are enjoying the story! I appreciate all of your comments and feedback.
Mikaela:
--- Quote from: MadLori on October 20, 2007, 01:25:37 pm --- After he's done his damage, his death is primarily useful to the brothers as a deterrent. Therefore they'd want to make it as long, drawn-out and painful as possible...and that is Petros' speciality, and the entire reason they brought him into this situation. They obviously can't do that in a bar and would need to remove him to a secure location to torture the hell out of him before dumping his body somewhere public and letting everyone see what had been done to him and over how long a time. The message being "See? THIS is what you're in for if you testify."
--- End quote ---
**GULP!** :o :o :o
Thanks for replying, Lori. This cleared up my confusion. :) The brothers' assassin *was* out to get Jack just as I believed, - I just wasn't thinking evilly enough.
And Petros is still at large so now I'll hardly sleep at night! There sure are shades of "Shades" here. (And that's totally intended as a compliment!) Petros must be Madrigal's long-lost brother.... I'm absolutely on the *edge* of my seat to know what happens next!
Brown Eyes:
Hi Lori,
Thanks for dropping by! It's nice to see the serious discussion of this story develop here. I'm now so curious about the still "un-named forces" pursuing D.
:)
Amanda
mariez:
Thanks for stoppng by and answering some questions, Lori. I'm glad Brad's not one of the bad guys!
Yeah, I knew Petros worked for the brothers - but the people who beat up J.J. are the second group of bad guys and they want Jack dead, too - only for different reasons, right? ....and the scary message about making D kill Jack made me think that maybe Petros was working both sides of the fence....they could kidnap Jack and get D for whatever reason...that there is some connection between the two groups somehow?......well, I'll stop because my head is spinning and I'll wait patiently and see how this all plays out. Really compelling stuff!
Marie
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