I wonder if she grades by not only how good a film is, but how family friendly it is as well. While this is one of the best films of our generation, let's face it, it's not easy for families to watch together. A discussion about the film would be really difficult. The film is difficult enough for an adult to come to terms with, let alone an adult who then has to conduct a discussion with their teens and even preteens.
Very true. My 10-year-old son came home from school a few weeks ago just as I was finishing watching the movie. He was mildly curious about it, but I ushered him out of the room, simply because I didn't want him seeing only the last scene without seeing everything else. After it ended, though, I offered him the opportunity to watch the whole thing (sans sex scenes, of either kind). He declined. When my 12-year-old son got home an hour later, I repeated the offer to him. He declined also.
I was simultaneously frustrated, relieved and unsurprised. Frustrated because I wish everybody would see it, and I think for my sons it could have been educational. They're pretty mature film-viewers and I think it's possible they'd "get" it. Relieved because if they
didn't get it -- and as we know, many people don't -- it might do more harm than good.
Unsurprised because even under ideal conditions they don't really like romances (how many 10- and 12-year-old boys do?). But the circumstances surrounding this movie are far from ideal. My sons are very pop-culture-conscious, so they've heard all the jokes. And I'm sure they've heard things from their peers that have made them ... well, hopefully not homophobic, but probably uncomfortable or ambivalent about the subject of homosexuality. They don't say so to me, but I sense it's there. Of course I do what I can to counteract this by expressing my own views. But as with so many things in which I disagree with their peers or pop culture -- video games, heavy metal music, Cheetos, Adam Sandler -- my opinion only goes so far. I think watching BBM would make them nervous, in much the same way it makes so many straight men nervous. In their case it's more understandable, as they are just starting to understand sex of any kind and are never eager to grapple with sensitive aspects of the subject in the presence of their mom.
So I didn't push it. About all I can do is be clear about my own views without becoming so overbearing that it backfires. And exposing them when possible to entertainment that touches on homosexuality in a casual, normalizing way, without generating much tension or controversy. Luckily, there are more opportunities for that than when I was a kid. So I'm hoping -- expecting, actually, because they are smart kids -- that as they get older everything will work out all right.
So anyway. My long way of saying, yes, I agree Nipith, not every family would have an easy time watching and/or discussing Brokeback Mountain. Though it would be great if they could.