Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Fan Fiction & Poetry
Tainted Evidence by Beatriceorme
Beatrice:
Teaser for tomorrow's Chapter Twenty-One...
********
“Christ, Ennis! I’m revoking your First Amendment right of free speech because of this fashion statement.”
A glance from dresser to closet. “Never wore that ugly thing, Jack.”
“But, wait…oh, goody, there’s more.” Jack showcased two shirts pulled from the closet - one powder blue, the other sunshine yellow - stitched vertically with fancy flowers and indeterminate geometric shapes and lines. “Got your sandals, black socks and metal detector around somewhere?”
Ennis snatched the offending garments out of Jack’s hands, tossing them on the ‘Fuel for Alma’s Closure Bonfire’ pile. “A Christmas gift from my father-in-law.”
“That is one seriously straight man, then.”
“Just grab the garment bag all the way in the back and the box above. Leave the rest.” The bottom drawer kicked shut, Ennis dumped an armful of socks into the last empty box. “Don’t need or want the rest of it.”
“Don’t tell me – a lime green leisure suit for your – well, hello!” The smile was pure sex. “Not quite jarhead dress blues, but I can work with this.”
The garment bag never left Jack’s side, fiercely guarding his prize, even giving it a place of honor on his lap for the drive back across the Bridge, relinquishing possession only when Ennis agreed to demonstrate that there really is just something about a man in uniform.
And now I’ve got to get the damn thing dry cleaned. Hat, too.
*************
Until tomorrow!
B
louisev:
DRESS BLUES!!!
YES!
An important element of my own tale, in which Ennis falls in love with a deputy sheriff, is the sexual allure of the Police Uniform. It has the stature of a true fetish!
one_of_one:
--- Quote from: louisev on November 02, 2006, 10:39:49 am ---Helen, you are insane! Everywhere you go you beg for Bottom!Ennis.
--- End quote ---
I know I know! What can I say? I'm a sick, sad puppy....
::)
rbygivens:
I'm so glad that chicken pox (or pops, as my 6 year old son called them) stikes only once! Been inside watching Nicktoons for so long, I forgot what it's like to have an adult conversation!
But, now I'm back!
Beatrice,
One of the most stunning aspects of your fic is the way you describe things in normal, everday ways. The alarm clock, the lights in through the curtains, the scene on the fire escape, and in Chapter 21, the men's bathroom. Everything is through from their point of view, their world, their way. Beautiful in its focus and simplicity.
Dialogue, well, there's nobody out there in this fandom that writes dialogue the way that you do. Every line is spot on, in character and exactly the way that men would react and talk and converse and argue and discuss. So many times I read fanfic, and Jack and Ennis (and other characters) are forced to utter things that no self respecting man would say, gay or straight. They become women in cowboy hats. Not the way you write Ennis and Jack, though. Thanks!
And the sex...well...besides being smoking hot, hilarous and causing this reader to hyperventilate, it's once again like men would have sex. (and similar, I if remember correctly, the way that Ms. Proulx described their sex, also). Rough, hard and underneath there's the softer side of emotions. Not mushy, not overly romantic, just honest. Just men.
I love your Jack! I want to take him home with me! And poor Ennis! I've had crappy Monday's at work, but never on that level. So proud that he stood up for Jack! And Alma, well, feh on her. She's bitter to the nth degree, for sure. Randall, like Jack said EWWWWWW!!! Aguirre, again feh! But, I'm very disappointed in the Captain. Not very tolerant to react that way, and he shouldn't have even listened to that hearsay without verifying the information first. Not very police-like.
Oooo! Which one of the girls? Franny, I bet.
And now I guess we know where the title comes from. The condom is the Tainted Evidence, maybe?
Thanks for everything, Beatrice, thanks so much for sharing - Jack and Ennis and New York and TE!
Can't wait for Chapter #22!
RubyG
Beatrice:
RubyG,
Yeah, chicken pox suck! My daughter had them AND strep throat at the same time when she was 12. Lasted a week, much longer than I did, for sure, cause that was the height of the Barney craze. Homocidal tendencies brought on by a purple dinosaur.
Dialogue, I like to think, is what I write best 'cause that's what I, as a reader, find the most interesting. Don't write long descriptive stuff because that's the stuff that I skip over when I read. Also helps to keep the POV in one place, and it's just plain more fun! Thanks!
Now, you know I can't answer your condom question. Not just yet.
Captain Stoutamire at least spoke to Ennis first about Alma's allegations, and I'm thinking he might have even believed him if Ennis had said they were all a lie. But, Ennis couldn't betray Jack in that way, and when the truth came out eventaully, Ennis' rep with the Captain would have been destroyed.
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, Ruby! Makes my heart sing!
See youse next Wednesday!
B
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