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A collection of clever rhymes

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southendmd:
From "Hamilton":

Lock up ya daughters and horses, of course It's

Hard to have intercourse over four sets of

corsets

southendmd:
Also from "Hamilton":

Thomas Jefferson, always hesitant with the President

Reticent--there isn't a plan he doesn't jettison

Madison, you mad as a hatter, son, take your medicine

Damn, you're in worse shape than the national debt is in!

Jeff Wrangler:

--- Quote from: southendmd on October 07, 2021, 01:36:49 pm ---From "Hamilton":

Lock up ya daughters and horses, of course It's

Hard to have intercourse over four sets of

corsets

--- End quote ---

From Oklahoma!

The farmer should be sociable with the cowboy
When he rides by and asks for food and water.
Don't treat him like a louse, make him welcome in your house.
But be sure that you lock up your wife and daughter!

southendmd:

--- Quote from: Jeff Wrangler on October 05, 2021, 12:01:48 pm ---What a wonderful idea!

Some of the words here may be a stretch, so you may feel this doesn't count, but the rhyming lyrics to "Brush Up Your Shakespeare," by Cole Porter, from the musical Kiss Me, Kate, are classic.

https://www.themusicallyrics.com/c/530-cole-porter-lyrics/7643-brush-up-your-shakespeare-lyrics.html

(Porter would probably have written the line as "Now I'm not sayin' I'm a gold digger, but check my prenup and go figger."   ;D )

--- End quote ---

One of my favorites! Especially his rhyming "heinous" with "Coriolanus"!


The girls today in society,
Go for classical poetry,
So to win their hearts one must quote with ease
Aeschylus and Euripides.
One must know Homer and, b'lieve me, Bo.
Sophocles, also Sappho-ho!
Unless you know Shelley and Keats and Pope.
Dainty debbies will call you a dope.
But the poet of them all
Who will start 'em simply ravin'
Is the poet people call
The bard of Stratford-on-Avon.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
Just declaim a few lines from Othella
And they'll think you're a helluva fella.
If your blonde won't respond when you flatter 'er
Tell her what Tony told Cleopaterer,
If she fights when her clothes you are mussing,
What are clothes? Much Ado About Nussing.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
With the wife of the British embessida
Try a crack out of Troilus and Cressida,
If she says she won't buy it or tike it
Make her tike it, what's more, As You Like It.
If she says your behavior is heinous
Kick her right in the Coriolanus.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
If you can't be a ham and do Hamlet
They will not give a damn or a damnlet.
Just recite an occasional sonnet.
And your lap'll have honey upon it.
When your baby is pleading for pleasure
Let her sample your Measure For Measure.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
Better mention The Merchant Of Venice
When her sweet pound o' flesh you would menace.
If her virtue, at first, she defends well,
Just remind her that All's Well That Ends Well.
And if still she wont give you a bonus
You know what Venus got from Adonis!
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
If your goil is a Washington Heights dream.
Treat the kid to A Midsummer Night's Dream.
If she then wants an all-by-herself night
Let her rest ev'ry 'leventh or Twelfth Night.
If because of your heat she gets huffy
Simply play on and Lay on, Macduffy!
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
So tonight just recite to your matey,
Kiss me, Kate. Kiss me, Kate. Kiss me, Katey.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.

southendmd:
Another Porter fave from "Kiss Me, Kate": 

"Why Can't You Behave?"  I love the line "If the Harris pat means a Paris hat".


Oh, Bill,
Why can't you behave,
Why can't you behave?
How in hell can you be jealous
When you know, baby, I'm your slave?
I'm just mad for you,
And I'll always be,
But naturally

If a custom-tailored vet
Asks me out for something wet,
When the vet begins to pet, I cry 'Hooray!'
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
I enjoy a tender pass
By the boss of Boston, Mass.,
Though his pass is middle-class and notta Backa Bay.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
There's a madman known as Mack
Who is planning to attack,
If his mad attack means a Cadillac, okay!
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.

I've been asked to have a meal
By a big tycoon in steel,
If the meal includes a deal, accept I may.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
I could never curl my lip
To a dazzlin' diamond clip,
Though the clip meant 'let 'er rip,' I'd not say 'Nay!'
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
There's an oil man known as Tex
Who is keen to give me checks.
And his checks, I fear, means that sex is here to stay.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.

There's a wealthy Hindu priest
Who's a wolf, to say the least,
When the priest goes too far east, I also stray.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
There's a lush from Portland, Ore.,
Who is rich, but sich a bore,
When the bore falls on the floor, I let him lay
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
Mister Harris, plutocrat,
Wants to give my cheek a pat,
If the Harris pat
Means a Paris hat,
Bebe, Oo-la-la!
Mais, je suis toujours fidele, darlin', in my fashion,
Oui, je suis toujours fidele, darlin' in my way.

From Ohio Mister Thorn
Calls me up from night 'til morn,
Mister Thorn once cornered corn and that ain't hay.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
From Milwaukee Mister Fritz
Often moves me to the Ritz,
Mister Fritz is full of Schlitz and full of play.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
Mister Gable, I mean Clark,
Wants me on his boat to park,
If the Gable boat means a sable coat,
Anchors aweigh!
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.

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