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Strange Connections
Daniel:
Strangely, the music of the Focus Film logo and the Riverroad logo are now a deep part of the film experience, but as I am now trying to recall the first reception of the film - I shall have to present them as the silent logos I perceived them to be, or perhaps - in relation to the film's stark barenness at its beginning, the sounds of those logos were jarring and otherworldly.
The Gray Dawn
In a world of gray - gray hills, gray skies, a gray road - a barely discernable shadow rattles forward: a dark truck of the mind's nagging presence - a stark and almost painful reminder of the presence of the self in a field of Nirvana. Into this silent bliss are introduces first notes, then chords of a guitar - punctuating nothingness with evocative presence and the theme of an echo of a dream.
Many times I have experience that grayness, heard ithose chords and felt compelled to cry - to weep - but whether from Eros or Thanatos, I could not tell. Was this bliss an ache, or was the ache a bliss?
It is in these moments of gray bleakness that perhaps the soul - as it becomes aware of itself - yearns immediately for some vast and effectual Experience: it desires both and at once: the ultimate communion of spirit with the world around it in whatever depth it can find.
The staggering notes of the chords hesitantly lead the experiencer forward into a realm of imagination, as though inviting a pilgrim by many gates into a holy city.
Depth-desire deepens.
Perhaps this desire for a deep experience of the soul is ultimately what gives it the power to reach deeper in its limited experience to find something outside that experience. When the mind, heart, and spirit press beyond in hopes of finding or creating something that it has not known before, the experience brings them that much closer to a form of Union with the Universe, which in its vastness is ultimately unknowable. It is in the sacrifice of our clinging to what we already know - perhaps by withholding our disbelief if only for a few moments - that we can explore the unknown, whether that be in some exploration of the deep seas or in our exploration of the deep psyche. In these fragile first moments, it is uncertain what we are exploring... having both a physical sensibility and a spiritual meaning and depth.
Moments of Silence.
Without a word spoken, Ennis walks from where a truck has dropped him off to a trailer where he silently leans against the wall. But even in these moments of "silence" the atmosphere is filled with sounds that concrete the experience - the sound of the wind blowing can be melancholy even when not musical in nature. A jarring train whistle and ticking along the tracks inform that the machines of the mind are continually present: thinking, translating, decoding. As those sounds fade away, another sound is heard - the ticking and whirring of a faulty motor: a blue truck approaching where the machine engine had departed only an instance before: the logical construction of the universe departs, only to be replaced by something far less certain.
Daniel:
I am a fountain of bubbling intensity,
in which I drown when no one drinks from me.
I am a man parched with thirst, floating on the surface of a fresh water sea.
And I realize I am dying. There's no one else beside me.
I look around and find myself alone in the battlefield of integrity.
Some far behind me, some so far ahead in their eluded mystery.
This is the one thing, this personal hell, I cannot be.
Alone, and alone not because I saught some monastary.
This is not something I would want for any.
I am not humble, nor full of grace, ever reaching for my destiny.
And in that quest, I've given of myself so fully,
Yet found none at that same depth that could give back to me.
If there is a Hell, then this is that misery.
And Hell's on earth, not painted in some story.
It is at times like these that I wonder if I cannot flee,
Approach some greater truth beyond my cursed be,
And there in that new depth of eternity,
Find someone, anyone, who can recognize me.
Daniel:
Okay, I'm bored again and nobody wants to talk about the things I want to talk about... lol...
So someone else suggest a topic.
injest:
--- Quote from: Daniel on December 12, 2006, 06:09:38 pm ---Okay, I'm bored again and nobody wants to talk about the things I want to talk about... lol...
So someone else suggest a topic.
--- End quote ---
so tell me what is it that you want to talk about? I read your entries and they are beautiful and make me think but they seem whole to themselves. Pose a question....offer an opening...
Should I pose the questions then? I will if you like...
but be warned sweet Daniel, I am not the poet you are....
{{Daniel}}
Daniel:
Awww, you mean my loving posts aren't invitation enough...? I see a tremendous invitation in just about all of them. But maybe that's me.
After all, this thread is entitled "Strange Connections".... so if you see something, you're supposed to connect with it, and you probably are, even though you don't realize you are. This connection is likely strange and unusual, because I am trying to speak to the deepest part of the human. Let it respond, even if the mind doesn't know what to say.
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