BetterMost Community Blogs > Shakestheground's Rumblings
Shakesthegrounds Rumblings
Shakesthecoffecan:
Yeah, need a good nights sleep, all a' us
CellarDweller:
--- Quote from: Shakestheground on September 24, 2007, 08:12:10 pm ---Yeah, need a good nights sleep, all a' us
--- End quote ---
need more than a good night's sleep, but ya know that. ;)
Lynne:
Hey there, Friend - making my monthly(?) pilgrimage to your blog...don't know why I won't stop here every day. I want to have time to savor and reflect, I guess. I love the descriptions of your time in SF.
I can completely relate to the part where you mentioned leaving the women out of it (paraphrasing). One of the true pleasures of this BBM journey for me has been the opportunities to step back from the groups at the gatherings (or even from postings here) and watch how the men relate to each other. It's something special to watch - barriers being discarded, or at least set aside for awhile, connections being made on a deeper level. It's a beautiful thing to see, even though I can't really articulate it. I'm honored to be on the periphery of those connections, to be an observer of that magic that is so rare and precious. I know I've never seen much to compare to it elsewhere in RL.
Brother Patrick pointed me to your post about the Spiritualist Church during our chat on Saturday. I like that your experience of touch there echoed for me my memories of WVa. The big news, though is that I am once again flummoxed - although by this point, I don't know why - what's once more, after all? - by a strange connection. I want to hear more about your Mamie. And I want to tell you about mine someday. And maybe I want to go to this place, so you need to set me up with essefjoe or whoever else can get me there.
Another point of interest is that Lee is feeling that post-Brokie gathering malaise. Interestingly, it didn't hit me as hard, and I completely attribute that to my fast in-and-out (most unsatisfactory!). I firmly believe that it's the resurfacing from the immersion that causes it (in me, at least)...the going back to the separate and difficult life after being connected like pieces of that puzzle makes the separate seem wider and the difficult seem harder. (Hang in there, Lee - it'll pass eventually - the key is planning the next one to get you through, I've found!).
Love,
Lynne
Shakesthecoffecan:
Thank you Lynne for stopping by, and I will hook you up with Joe, who if I know him is already sending you a message. I will be happy to tell you more about Aent Mamie, I think we all have one.
So now, I want to tell you about the next big step I have took down the road of life:
Last week I sent my nephew in New Mexico an email asking he call me when he had a few minutes. I waited and waited and Sunday his number came up on the phone. It was his wife calling saying she'd just read the email and they had been away for days. I like his wife but she was not the one I needed to talk to, had not rehearsed it in my head a hundred times with him in mind.
So last night as I was pulling in to my destination, it rang and there he was.
After the pleasantries I took off:
"You remember the time I came to visit you at UVa in 1989 and you asked me if I were gay and I lied and I'm sorry, I am."
And he said: "I DID!?? OMG I'm ususally not that forward, was I drunk?" and we both erupted in laughter at this well rehearsed outing gone awry.
He was cool with it, said it must be hard to be gay in the south and I responded I didn;t think it was anymore so here than anywhere else. I added that in proper perspective it is not that big a part of me, but it was a real and vital part and I hated lying about it. I told him I felt like I was dumping on him and apologized, but he was okay with it. We drifted on to other topics and once he had his bearings he came back around with questions.
We discussed the family, and it was wonderful to have his perspective to see who he thought would be receptive and who would not. He has a younger brother who is a Bill O'Reilly Republican so he's off the list. His father and my mother are defiantly off, they could not handle it at all. My sister, he expressed a Real hope that she would be able to, and I saw that it created a conflict for him. We both know she is capable of opening her heart. I think it is a point of potential disappointment if she does not for both of us.
He said she has asked him about me, she probably knows.
Gawd, what is it with this world? Who are these people to put us thru this? Its obnoxious. But I feel good today. One person in my family now knows the truth about me and I never thought that would happen voluntarily.
;D
CellarDweller:
Congratulations, buddy! I'm so proud of you!
I bet it feels like a little weight has been lifted from your shoulders!
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