I'll tell you what, the end of the year holiday season is upon us and already I am exhausted.
I saw something on the TV news the other night about Walmart breing in a price war with it conpetitors and saw all that red and white and green stuff and I groaned. The sheer consumption aspect of it all disgusts me. "The Toy", "The Electronic Device" of the year, the tempo of people's stress as the dead line approaches, The food, the SUGAR, everywhere sugar, the music, cookie cuttered from every previous season til now, yes, call the Grinch and book us two tickets to the islands. I am not wanting to do "Xmess" this year.
Last year my sister told me not to get she and her husband anything, as they had everything already. That is no stretch of the imagination I found out. While shopping Good Will for some recycled bargains I happened up a small terra cotta figurine that looked vaguely Mayan. The pedistal it sat on said "Male Figure With Skin Leisons" it was all of a dollar, so I got it. Surely to god they didn't have one of these.
When my sister opened it she turned white and immediatly hid it from her husband. "Where did you get this?" she whispered over to me and I told her at the Good Will. "Ohhhhh my ga...." I heard her mutter as she took off for the basement. ("WTH" I thought). She reurned in a few minutes with a small terra cotta object, covered in dust, a duplicate Male Figure With Skin Leisons. It was part of a set a pharmacutical company gave out to doctors in the early 1970's. My attempt to come up with an original gift had resulted in nothing more than a few minutes of terror for my sister who thought that some of her husbands stuff had been disposed of with out their knowledge. I should have kept the thing.
So this year, I am going to give my two balding nephews du-rags to cover their heads, my grand neice will get a jar full of nickles, and the rest I am working on. I will send out my cards next week, only because I found the most wonderful greeting to print out and inclose:
"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for
an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,
non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday,
practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion
of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the
religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice
not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a
fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated
recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but
not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that
America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America
in the Western Hemisphere . And without regard to the race, creed, color,
age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is
subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no
alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to
actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and
is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of
the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual
application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance
of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is
limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole
discretion of the wisher."
Eggnog huh? Wha'cha got t' go init?