loved the term "Sunday Afternoon Dread"..... that's funny! I know come Sunday evening, I get bummed out that work is back the next day.
For those of us in the northern half of the planet, it is the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year. After tonight, the days will begin to grow longer, but we have to get Thur tonight. ...That story, with ever day of my life that passes I see how very close to perfect it is. How damn near every word of it can apply to life. (*They were respectful of each others opinions, each glad to have a companion where none had been expected*) and as the story and its effect have healed in our lives, we begin to see our differences, our individuality. It is not always a pretty, rewarding process. We sometimes forget the lessons we learned, we sometimes forget we are capable of respect and we forget we are not the enemy. The sadness that falls upon us is nothing new, nothing we have not seen before, standing in a trail head parking lot hurling truths and lies and contorting coat hangers back into their original shape because we need that coat hanger, it s a sacred relic now. I don't hold on to Jack and Ennis as I once did. I left them in a grassy spot next to a railroad track in Alberta, where on a clear day their souls can drown in the bluest sky on earth. These days I count my blessings, and put my house in order. My heart in my chest, my brain in my head, and little shakes in my britches. I work to think with my brain, and feel with my heart, because for a while now I had those two confused, and it was quite inneresting the results sometimes, but this is better.These days, I rejoice in the friends and connections I have made all over the world. Everyday for a couple of weeks now I have not dreaded going to my mail box because amongst the bills and tax statements are cards from people all over, some of whom I have never met in person. I am a richer person for the experience. And as these people drift away, and drift they will, they will have a place both in my mind and in my heart, and the connection will remain strong with me. So what will become of our little town? I think it will change over time, it will probably eventually fade and pass away. That is the nature of things. It will be a place on no map, but the one we keep in our heads. A little circle not unlike Lightnin' Flat or Sage, where from time to time ghosts come to life and speak to us once again. I will keep you in my heart, so that you will never need to feel lost. You have a place next to me, by the fire.
My heart in my chest, my brain in my head, and little shakes in my britches.
And yes I love the run on sentance, it is the best kind of sentance, just keeps you moving right allong to some tangential conclusion that maybe the cable bill is worth it after all.
Six am mnew years morning in the throne room, I am reading a recnt issues of the AARP magazine. An interesting article about a woman who was a stay at home mom, a baby boomer, and now at retirement age she is filled with regret about the path not taken. The article goes on to describe how this is an increasingly common thing among baby boomers who have had so many options, living in a world where everyone knows and sees what is going on in others peoples lives, our minds are not prepared to deal with the information, the feelings that come along with it. It would seem that with so many choices for so many paths in life we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. Eat up with what ifs. I think that is sad. I think everyone would do it differently if they could, those who say otherwise I don't believe them. So I will say to all those reading this: I envy each of you, those of you who have children, those of you with good jobs, those of you living in exciting cities, those of you of the verge of something big. Ya'll are so luck. And I am too. Cause if I want to, I could go back to bed right now. but I won't.
Awww! Say hey to Little Shakes for us!!!