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My BBM poem: Jack's Dash

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dmmb_Mandy:
Daniel & Vic, thanks so much for your comments, MUCH appreciated. Poetry only works if it reaches and really touches someone.  :-*

delalluvia:
As he traces the delicate lines of his lover's chest with his finger   ???  Um, I'm having trouble with this line's imagery.  What is it supposed to refer to?  Or am I being too anatomical?

Lumière:

--- Quote from: dmmb_Mandy on April 08, 2006, 08:39:04 pm ---I wrote it this evening, on a whim. Comments are appreciated.

Jack's Dash

Let me in
   His lips nearly mumble
As he traces the delicate lines of his lover's chest with his finger,
But they resist and quiver instead.

It's "the little things", they say,
And for a moment he can see it in his glazed eyes
But in a quick, gentle blink-of-the-eye, it's gone.
He lives for it,
And wonders to himself how much longer he can stand it.

I have demons too
   he thought,
And he wanted to take them between his fists,
Crush them into dust and blow them away.

He knows he can't keep him,
   But tonight, in the silence of their own little piece of the world,
   where the trees keep their secrets and the wind takes their words,
   he holds him hard, tight.

But now his lover fears no more,
Because the dash between his own cemented dates is done.
And now as he looks into the mountains
Into the distance that once grew and grew
But now grows no more,
He can hear Jack saying faintly
   I left, Ennis,
   but I never let go.

--- End quote ---

 :'(

Cheers for sharing this Mandy!  This part is heart-breaking:

<< He can hear Jack saying faintly
   I left, Ennis,    but I never let go.
>>

DeeDee:
 :'(

SFEnnisSF:
Awh hell, I'm sobbing again.

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