Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum

Why it stays with you and what to do about it..

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BBM-Cat:
I love that quote as well....and really admire the courage to 'stay up there'. I would describe my daily descent as purely functional - have to work and take care of other things, but I always look forward to the private moments when I can re-ascend. Never been so entranced before in my life - I'm doing my daily things, but at the same time, feel so far removed from those things - BBM is constantly on my mind in some form or fashion whether it's a trigger in the environment, or the willfull directing of my consciousness toward it.

I was interested in the other movie title you mentioned - not that I can think of watching or enjoying any other film right now - but, is it worthy of merit?


--- Quote from: Br. Patrick on December 21, 2006, 04:25:50 pm ---I envy you.  No, I can't say that, I LOVE what this film is doing to me, even if it is pulling my guts out a foot at a time.  I guess I just plan on staying up here "flying in the euphoric, bitter air, looking down on the hawk's back and the crawling lights of vehicles on the plain below, suspended above ordinary affairs and distant from the ranch dogs barking in the dark hours."    Annie says it so well.

peace :)
br. patrick


--- End quote ---

Br. Patrick:

--- Quote from: BBM-Cat2006 on December 22, 2006, 02:27:08 am ---I was interested in the other movie title you mentioned - not that I can think of watching or enjoying any other film right now - but, is it worthy of merit?

--- End quote ---

Latter Days is an incredible film introduced to me by Lynne and Daniel.  We were in the chatroom and they were simulaneously watching it on DVD.  I ordered the unrated version from amazon.com then and there.  This film's climax did what Brokeback did for me for the first nine viewings when Ennis leaves Alma crying the morning after the reunion in the Motel.  I cry so intensely that everything goes white and I can't hear anything.  Then I slowly come back to 'reality'.  Therapy revealed it was LOSS that triggered these white outs.  Loss is my major trigger for the Chronic Major Depression that I have been on disability for since 1997.  The climax of Latter Days did exactly the same thing with one addition.  I was laying down watching it on my widescreen computer monitor.  Major Tears, whiteout, no sound and the next thing I knew I was on the floor!  Reflection on that brought out the reason.  Love!  It has expanded my ability to love God exponentially (and that is a GOOD thing when one is a monk (actually, more of a hermit)).  Nothing will ever replace BBM in my heart but Latter Days hits the same buttons in me.   Before these films, I never experienced such emotionally charged experiences outside of prayer.  And I just don't want that to end...

peace :)
br. patrick

BBM-Cat:
Thank you for the tip on Latter Days - will definitely view it when I feel I can depart for a bit from BBM. Thank you also for sharing your incredibly painful revelation regarding LOSS, your longstanding struggle with depression, and the healing impact that BBM is having on your life. I am glad that you were able to make the connections through therapeutic intervention, and that your heart keeps opening up to the possibility (not the 'impossibility') of God's love. What a blessing indeed! Although BBM means many different things to many people, I believe it is exactly the concept of loss that unites us all (though some would disagree). I hope you are able to continue in your journey, "flying in the euphoric, bitter air, looking down on the hawk's back and the crawling lights of vehicles on the plain below, suspended above ordinary affairs and distant from the ranch dogs barking in the dark hours."  And, peace be with you.

Br. Patrick:

--- Quote from: BBM-Cat2006 on December 23, 2006, 08:49:21 pm ---peace be with you.

--- End quote ---

Peace right back at you!  May this time of the year touch you in a special way as you view it through the different world you now live in after experiencing this incredible film.    (BTW, I agree with you about our universal sharing of loss.  An ending is also a new beginning, no way around that.)

May 2007 be the best :)
br. patrick

Lynne:

--- Quote from: Br. Patrick on December 24, 2006, 07:41:00 am ---...I agree with you about our universal sharing of loss.  An ending is also a new beginning, no way around that...

--- End quote ---

A lovely way to phrase it, Brother Patrick.  Thank you.

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