Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay

Guidelines

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JCinNYC2006:
Some of the heated discussions that have been going on recently make me think of groups that I have faciliated.  One basic principle with group work is the idea of group guidelines.  The group agrees to a set of guidelines that try to faciliate discussion and create as safe an environment as possible.  Guidelines are not always rules that are set in stone, i.e. if I'm in a substance abuse group and I come high, I will be asked to leave.  They're ways of discussing that the group agrees to in order to maximize the potential for open, safe and productive participation.

Another example:  confidentiality.  The group agrees to not disclose any identifying information about participants. I can say, oh this guy in group shared something that really got me thinking.  But I can't say, this woman who works the day shift at the supermarket named Estella said...

It's really, really hard to have in depth discussions online that go beyond "Oh I love what you said, I feel the same way".  And clearly this amazing group of people have history, including some anger, resentments, frustrations, etc., that any group would have.  But there's got to be a way of being more respectful of each other, even when there is not a personal sense of respect for another individual.  Otherwise, what's happening now happens more.  Built up anger vents, more anger erupts in respose, personal attacks might be made, moderators step in, censorship cries begin, etc.  I really hope that we as a community, of which I am only very recently even been a part of, can aim higher and be more reflective as we post so that we can really maintain the level of respect and caring that's been so apparent here.

Juan

montferrat:
er...I missed something, unless you're talking about last week?

Daniel:
I think he's discussing the recent conflict between certain members of our community and how we might be able to avoid such conflicts in the near future.

JCinNYC2006:
Yup.  Without rehashing them, there are a couple of recent threads in particular that started to get very heated and very personal.  The heated part I can deal with, when it's done respectfully.  The personal attacks take it somewhere else though, I think.

David:
Back on the main forum page there is a special are for personal thoughts, ie: a personal Blog.   It is called "Our Daily Thoughts" I think.

This is where some of the more person things should go.   Because I think most of don't need to read about who popped a woody when or that they have inspirational thoughts on the toilet.    Hey?  we all do some of our best thinking there, but we don't need to share that.  LOL.

This way if you post way personal stuff that other people don't want to see, then they don't have to go read your personal blog.  Easy as that.

Our family has grown.   And like any family, there are going to be personality clashes.   That is unavoidable.   But the rest of the family need not participate.   If any person "PMs" you and you are tired of their comments, just put them on blocked status.   I think we have that ability.    Harassing posts however, should be forwarded to Phillip for consideration.    Remember, we are his GUESTS here!    Try to behave as such.

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