Kerry's Komedy Klub

[dot-matrix]

An Arkansas rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring
ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Yer Dad home?' the rancher asked.

'No sir, he ain't,' the boy replied. 'He went into town."

"Well," said the rancher, 'is yer Mom here?'

"No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"He went with Mom and Dad."

The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to
the other and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely. "I
knows where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a
message fer Dad."

"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to
yer Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae,
pregnant."

The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about
that," he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges
$50 for the bull and $25 for the boar, but, I really don't know how much he
gets fer Howard."

[Kerry]

Sometimes the "F" word is appropriate!   

[Katie77]

Meet My Mistress...

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no more yacht club.But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"OURS  is prettier," she replies

[underdown]

 

Hi Kerry,

A big Thank You for the Komedy Klub.

It's a great tonic amongst the discussion threads (and something a lot of people need).

Someone posted to me that they were pleased to see another straight guy on Bettermost. Not too many of us, apparently.

But to me, orientation does not even come into the equation, so it seems a pity if that is the case.

Hope it keeps coming, and that I might be able to contribute some humour to others (without repeating anything everyone has heard a million times) 

And hope you get to see Vladimir   

[Katie77]

Lemon Juice
>
> There once was a religious young woman who went to
> Confession.
> Upon entering the confessional, she said,
> "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
> The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."
> The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad
> passionate love to me seven times."
> The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze
> seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."
> The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"
> The priest said,
> "No, but it will wipe that smile off your face."
>

[Katie77]

dumb ass blonde phones the fire brigade and tells them her house is on fire!

 

fire man asks 'how do we get there?"

 

she replies "HELLO ....... in the FUCKING RED LORRY !!!!!!!!

 

[underdown]

 

Good one.

Meet My Mistress...

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress." ......... 


..... NOT   Miss Stress, obviously. 

[Kerry]

Hi Kerry,

A big Thank You for the Komedy Klub.

It's a great tonic amongst the discussion threads (and something a lot of people need).

Someone posted to me that they were pleased to see another straight guy on Bettermost. Not too many of us, apparently.

But to me, orientation does not even come into the equation, so it seems a pity if that is the case.

Hope it keeps coming, and that I might be able to contribute some humour to others (without repeating anything everyone has heard a million times) 

And hope you get to see Vladimir   

Thanks for your kind words, Rob. 

Glad you're enjoying the Komedy Klub! Credit where credit's due, though. I'd like to take this opportunity to give a great big thank you to Dottie for all her wonderful posts here at the Komedy Klub.   

It's primarily because of all your fabo posts, Dottie, that this thread has become the legendary institution it is today! 

Thank you, Dottie! We love you!     

[dot-matrix]

Thanks for your kind words, Rob. 

Glad you're enjoying the Komedy Klub! Credit where credit's due, though. I'd like to take this opportunity to give a great big thank you to Dottie for all her wonderful posts here at the Komedy Klub.   

It's primarily because of all your fabo posts, Dottie, that this thread has become the legendary institution it is today! 

Thank you, Dottie! We love you!     

Awww Kerry Thank YOU!  I love you too!

[dot-matrix]

A man escaped prison by digging a tunnel from his cell to
the outside world. Emerging in the middle of a pre-school
playground, he shouted "I'm free, I'm Free !!"

"So what, " said a little girl, "I'm four !"