Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Katie77]

A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel 
outside Kalgoorlie.

 He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says,
 ‘I want your ugliest woman and a burnt chop!!’

 The Madam is astonished. 'But sir, for that kind of money you could have
 one of my finest ladies and a lovely three-course meal. ' she says.
 
The trucker replies, 'Listen sweetheart, I ain't horny . . . .. . I'm homesick !!!!!'
 

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

A blonde drops off a shirt at the
cleaners...
On the way out the door, the lady
at the counter says " Come Again"...
The blonde says "no its toothpaste
this time you nosey bitch!"

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

Yee-Haw!

[Penthesilea]

Yee-Haw!

That's not how I pictured a rodeo queen, but you live and learn...

[Zander]

Miss Beatrice,

The church organist,

Was in her eighties

And had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness

And kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor

Came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.

She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ,

The young minister

Noticed a   cute glass bowl Sitting on top of it.

The bowl was filled

With water, and in the water Floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned

With tea and scones,

They began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity

About the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said,

'I wonder if you would tell me about this?'

Pointing to the bowl.

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?

I was walking through

The Park a few months ago

And I found this little package On the ground.

The directions said

To place it on the organ,

Keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu All winter.' 

[Katie77]

 Louisiana
>> > Sheriff
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > A Louisiana
>> > Sheriff stops at a farm in rural Louisiana
>> > and talks
>> > with an old farmer.
>> >
>> > He tells the farmer, "I need to
>> > inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs."
>> >
>> > The old farmer
>> > says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."
>> >
>> > The Sheriff verbally explodes
>> > saying,
>> > "Mister, I have the authority of the
>> > Sheriffs Department with
>> > me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket and removing his badge. The
> officer
>> > proudly
>> > displays
>> > it to the farmer.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > "See this
>> > badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I
>> > wish...on
>> > anyone's land. No questions asked or answers
>> > given.
>> > Have I made myself clear?
>> > Do you
>> > understand?"
>> >
>> > The old farmer nods
>> > politely and
>> > goes about
>> > his chores.
>> >
>> >
>> > Later, the old farmer hears loud screams
>> > and spies
>> > the Sheriff running for his
>> > life and close behind is the farmer's bull.
>> >
>> > With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer. The Sheriff
>> > is
>> > clearly terrified..
>> >
>> > The old farmer
>> > immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the
> top of
>> > his lungs.....
>> >
>> > "Your badge!
>> > Show him
>> > your badge, Smartass!"