Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum

A personal connection

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serious crayons:

--- Quote from: marlb42 on January 28, 2007, 11:07:26 pm ---Unfortunately I have been very much like Ennis the past few years, (a loner)  so one of the things BBM has taught me is that I must make connections with people.

But what I am wondering is, is that type of true connection only possible when you are 19 and 20 before the real world really sets in? or is it still possible later?
--- End quote ---

Thanks for sharing this story, marlb. My feeling is that those deep cconnections become less common as people grow older, but only because people become busy with other things: careers, families, mortgages, kids, etc. Older people already have some friends, usually, and don't feel as if they're in the market for more. Those connections are more common among 19-year-olds simply because they're more often placed in situations where they and the people around them are looking to make them -- at summer camp, at college, in new jobs, while traveling, etc.

But I think we never lose the desire or ability to make connections. That's confirmed for me by the many stories that I've heard from people who saw BBM, identified with Ennis, decided they didn't want to live with that feeling of alienation, and made an effort to reach out. There have been many happy results.


--- Quote from: Lynne on January 29, 2007, 05:32:47 am ---I truly believe that is one lesson we should take from Brokeback Mountain is to refuse to allow ourselves to be victims of societal norms.
--- End quote ---

Good way to put it, Lynne. I think we all need to remind ourselves sometimes not to set our own limits based on what we see others doing, but on what is best for us.

Shakesthecoffecan:
I have given this matter a lot of thought over the years. A few years ago I was asked be an acquaintance if I had many friends and I responded mostly the people I work with, they were the only ones I had time and opportunity to cultivate a friendship with.

The loss of those young adult friendships, man I really mourn those. There is nothing like them in my book. When you had your whole life before you, away from home for the first time and on your own and bonding with folks, it is like they became your family. Then time passes, you find they do become republicans, have families, buy huge houses and deal with issues as alien as you can imagine. My best friend from those days, I only know anything about him now from the Xmess card his wife sends with their kids on the cover. "We are still alive and together and our kids are growing" it says, once a year, and nothing more. Sad. Really sad.

Now I am amazed at the dept of feeling I attach to the friends I make here, meeting them in real time is such a rush, and luckily we do share much in common, besides love for a story and sexual orientation. I have never really involved myself in the chat room, because it is just too hollow for me, reminds me I am not sitting up at 2 am with old friends in front of me sharing the last of the whine and singing.....

And while I am rambling on, I must also say I am amazed at a wonderful friendship I have cultivated with the 82 year old African American receptionist at my company. We have a wonderful thing in common, amazement at one another's stories. I will never be 19 again, and a lot of it is behind me now, but I am thankful I still have the opportunity to live and learn, and love. And the greatest of these is Love.

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