Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
Secrets and Lies...
chefjudy:
:D I only know of the Roberta Flack version, but it is one of the most hauting songs ever.................
starboardlight:
it never occurred to me that a movie could change my life. it also never occurred to me that a movie could show me who my true friends are.
When I first saw the film, I felt like it was my life and soul up there. Many of you might have read my post about how painful it was to relive the painful times of my life through Ennis. I felt that if you get this film, I mean really understand it, then you understand deeply a part of my soul. I wanted everyone in my life to at least see the film. I even secretly hoped they'd be moved by it like I was.
I've mellowed out a bit. I don't demand that my friends understand the film in the same way. I guess it's okay that they don't connect with it as deeply. Some have, and as we shared our emotions, it feels like we have a bond that very few people can build. Certainly, with you all, I've gotten to know so intimately because of this film. For the family and friends who don't "get" me, I've come to say that it's okay. It's like my art. I have a deep passion for image making and designing. I don't really share that with my family because they don't have the same passion for it. Or how I don't have the same passion for hockey that some of my friends do. We are in different place in life, and we have different concerns. Our souls are on different planes, and that's fine. That we have other things in common to come together about is great.
Where the lines is drawn, however, is if the people in my life choose to belittle me for my passion for the film. If they say "Get over it", that's it. They get no second chance. Everyone knows that this film is important to me. They don't have to like it, but they are not allowed to be disrespectful toward my feelings. Those are the people who try to make me compartmentalize my passion, to make it into a secret and that just hit too close to those high school years where I felt like I had to be closeted. The film woke me up, and I won't go back there. If any of my friends can't understand that, then they're not my friends.
RouxB:
See Nipith, you have brought me to tears-I don't know much, but I know I love you and that may be all I need to know
the colored girl in the black cowboy boots.
ednbarby:
"Where the lines is drawn, however, is if the people in my life choose to belittle me for my passion for the film. If they say "Get over it", that's it. They get no second chance. Everyone knows that this film is important to me. They don't have to like it, but they are not allowed to be disrespectful toward my feelings. Those are the people who try to make me compartmentalize my passion, to make it into a secret and that just hit too close to those high school years where I felt like I had to be closeted. The film woke me up, and I won't go back there. If any of my friends can't understand that, then they're not my friends."
___________________
Yes, this is exactly what I'm talking about, too, Nipith. If someone I care about sees it and it doesn't resonate with them for whatever reasons, I can accept that. But if they refuse to see it on my recommendation (and they're the type of person who normally does enjoy seeing new and innovative movies and/or movies I recommend), or if they belittle or condescend to me for having such passion about it, they're done. Doesn't mean I never speak to them again - I'm not that militant. But it does mean that anything of significance they have to say from there on out has absolutely zero credibility with me. If that sounds unforgiving and cold, so be it. I find people who are supposed to be my good friends taking my word that this is a great, transcendental film that everyone should see as having apparently zero credibility as being equally so. And in the case of people like you, Nipith, who have lived their story to a large extent, I'm sorry, but anyone close to you who can't at least sympathize with what it must mean to you upon seeing it and at least try to be sensitive to that when they talk with you about it aren't very good friends at all. Not only that, but they're not very warm and caring people, either.
YaadPyar:
I'm fascinated with these responses. I'm disappointed when someone doesn't at least like the movie. I think it's so polarizing because as Nipith said, BBM tells my story, and if they don't get that, if they don't get the movie, then how can they get me?
And when folks react with homophobia or concerns about the morality of the film, it shows me that our value for humanity and its frailty are world's apart. I've been pretty fortunate to be surrounded by supportive people, who kind of get a kick out of my intensity and interest.
I've never felt so represented by a work of art, so invested in it, and so personally connected to it. I love, love, love the Tao Te Ching, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and Siddhartha, but have always known there were many who wouldn't relate to those books.
What I didn't know is how a story, not a philosophy, could change me so much - hit me so hard. I didn't know how self-selecting, self-defined we'd be as a group, those of us who were 'got good' by BBM.
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