Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
Secrets and Lies...
ednbarby:
That's a very good point, too, Celeste - when someone reacts in a homophobic way or thinks it "promotes adultery" (AAAAGGHH!), I also feel I'm pretty much done talking to them on any kind of a serious level, because, as you said, our viewpoints on the frailties of the human condition and compassion for our fellow human beings are too vastly opposed. Generally, I've found that the same people who didn't react passionately about the *proven* ineptitude of our "leadership" after hurricane Katrina are, lo and behold, largely the very same people who have no interest in seeing this movie, or in having seen it, don't find it the least bit touching. Again, it just really separates the men from the boys for me. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. As my husband said about the Academy on Black Sunday, fuck 'em if they don't get it.
Lumière:
To add to what Celeste said -
It shows a singular lack of human compassion when people don't just focus on the fact that love is sacred and pure when shared between 2 human beings, regardless of gender.
This buddy of mine who is so 'against homosexuality and not gay people themselves' , claims that people can 'overcome' the 'temptation' of being with someone of the opposite sex. I mean, how do you even start arguing with a statement like that?! Sometimes I have wondered about my relationship with her because of these views. That friendship is automatically curbed because there are some intimate things that I could never discuss with her. The other day, we were at the video store and I was looking to rent some movies from the Gay&Lesbian section and she wouldn't even stand there with me, let alone check out the movies :-\ ...
I guess it is a fact of life that not all of life's journeys will be shared by the people who are close to you...some walks in life are solitary. That's how I see it I guess.
Chanterais:
Oooh, Yadie, good thread. Good posts, all of you.
Last week I went out to dinner with some friends that I hadn't seen in about six months. Two bottles of wine later, my friend Will (straight, not that it matters) announced, "Well, I just saw the most amazing movie. Brokeback Mountain - have you seen it?" I smiled and nodded, and everyone else at the table chimed in and said "Oh my God, wasn't it incredible?" They all nattered on about it for fifteen minutes or so, until the conversation evolved into something else, and I just sat there and listened to them, delighted in their excitement. I thought about telling them about how much I loved the film, and about you guys, and about our wonderful connection with the Tremblays, but I didn't.
On the way home, my boyfriend asked me why I had kept so quiet, and I told him that in some ways, my relationship to the movie is so private that I find it difficult to discuss it. I can write about it, but when I try to talk about it, my brain goes all soggy and I can't get the words to work. It all sounds so inadequate.
Also, I love having private passions. Unlike some Tremblayans, I have been affected like this by a few other films and novels, though not many. It's part of my emotional make-up to be drawn deeply into things. My family are all sensible pragmatists (but nice ones), and so I learned very early on to keep some of my feverish obsessions for myself. It's a pleasure to have a secret. I don't have to expose my beloved little passion to their scorn or ambivalence, but I can treasure it in my own way.
I also don't feel overly angry at my friends who haven't taken to Brokeback in the same way, because I know I've read books and watched movies that are deeply important to them, and *whisper it* hated them. It's terrible when that happens. You want so badly to love them, but you can't. People are moved by different things, and at different times in their lives. C'est la vie.
Are secrets and lies always insidious? I don't know, but I don't think so. I may be distinctly in the minority here, but I'm not convinced that honesty is always the best policy. Sometimes I want people to lie to me. The truth can be a terrible weapon.
Ray:
--- Quote ---I told him that in some ways, my relationship to the movie is so private that I find it difficult to discuss it.
--- End quote ---
This is the EXACT way I feel about the film. I gave up discussing it a while back simply because I couldn't get my head around the indiferrence that my friends displayed. My sister told me that the credits woke her up. A work mate asked how many of the sheep were real. A cousin said "Meh, maybe I just haven't felt hurt badly enough to relate to it." Even my best mate, a gay man who I see very much as an Ennis, rolled his eyes when I pressed for discussion about the movie, signing "uhoh, here comes another addiction!" So I keep it to myself, and in doing so I find I'm keeping to myself.
Ellemeno:
--- Quote from: Ray on April 17, 2006, 06:09:54 pm ---So I keep it to myself, and in doing so I find I'm keeping to myself.
--- End quote ---
Beautiful phrasing, Ray, and describes me too.
--- Quote from: Chanterais on April 17, 2006, 05:56:26 pm ---...in some ways, my relationship to the movie is so private that I find it difficult to discuss it. I can write about it, but when I try to talk about it, my brain goes all soggy and I can't get the words to work. It all sounds so inadequate.
--- End quote ---
This describes me too. I feel like when I do try to talk about it with people who are not-you-guys, I sound like "Me...like...Brokeback Mountain." Nothing of worth comes out.
So I went out and saw my friends this morning. The most honest (re BBM) that I got was saying that I've been out of practice talking as much as usual, and didn't quite know where to start. I wound up mostly catching up on what's been going on with them (feeling like a bad friend that I hadn't been keeping up like I usually would have) and when I did talk, I mostly talked about parenting stuff, which is always a fascinating topic for me. So I came home feeling better, more connected to my friends, but still pretty clogged (referencing my earlier post). I am going to try Chanterais's philosophy quoted below and see if it can fit me. I like it.
--- Quote from: Chanterais on April 17, 2006, 05:56:26 pm ---Also, I love having private passions. Unlike some Tremblayans, I have been affected like this by a few other films and novels, though not many. It's part of my emotional make-up to be drawn deeply into things. My family are all sensible pragmatists (but nice ones), and so I learned very early on to keep some of my feverish obsessions for myself. It's a pleasure to have a secret. I don't have to expose my beloved little passion to their scorn or ambivalence, but I can treasure it in my own way.
--- End quote ---
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version