Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Fan Fiction & Poetry
Camden Yards by debutante9 (Kumari)
mariez:
--- Quote from: Snuitje on March 12, 2007, 07:22:50 am ---Oh no, you were reading the comments? We should have put spoiler above them, because these really are EXTREMELY SPOILER-Y comments...
:(
Don't continue reading these comments David!
--- End quote ---
I know - I thought the same thing when I read David's post. Sorry, David - we get swept away!
Marie
mvansand76:
OK, I have the first chapters of CY printed out and I have carried them around in my bag for weeks now and I finally started rereading the first two chapters this morning on the train and this stood out for me in the dialogue:
“Ah, your hair. Jack wiped the sauce from his hands and put one on Ennis’ shoulder. “Remember how you had a mullet then?” Jack sighed with mock nostalgia.
Ennis took his time with his response. He sipped some beer, ate more of his sandwich, and wiped his mouth. He saw Jack watching him, smiling, waiting to see what he would come up with.
Ennis turned to Jack when he was ready. “Remember when you thought you was Rob Lowe for a week?”
Jack lurched forward and covered his mouth to keep himself from spitting beer on the guy in front of him. He swallowed it with a gurgle and erupted into a choking cough. Once his coughing was under control, he whacked Ennis across the chest with his forearm. He belched loudly and leaned back into his seat; turning his Oriole cap backwards.
“You killed me. I’m dead. Fuck you.”
“You started it,” Ennis mused, draining his beer.
I absolutely adore her dialogue! It's so real, it's so much like best friends banter, it's so cute!
mariez:
SPOILER
--- Quote from: Snuitje on March 30, 2007, 07:28:13 am ---OK, I have the first chapters of CY printed out and I have carried them around in my bag for weeks now and I finally started rereading the first two chapters this morning on the train and this stood out for me in the dialogue:
“Ah, your hair. Jack wiped the sauce from his hands and put one on Ennis’ shoulder. “Remember how you had a mullet then?” Jack sighed with mock nostalgia.
Ennis took his time with his response. He sipped some beer, ate more of his sandwich, and wiped his mouth. He saw Jack watching him, smiling, waiting to see what he would come up with.
Ennis turned to Jack when he was ready. “Remember when you thought you was Rob Lowe for a week?”
Jack lurched forward and covered his mouth to keep himself from spitting beer on the guy in front of him. He swallowed it with a gurgle and erupted into a choking cough. Once his coughing was under control, he whacked Ennis across the chest with his forearm. He belched loudly and leaned back into his seat; turning his Oriole cap backwards.
“You killed me. I’m dead. Fuck you.”
“You started it,” Ennis mused, draining his beer.
I absolutely adore her dialogue! It's so real, it's so much like best friends banter, it's so cute!
--- End quote ---
Yep - ditto to all that. These are two people who totally enjoy and appreciate each other. Also, this little scene is a great example of what I mentioned earlier - how Jack so often touches Ennis - a hand on the shoulder, even a "whack" on the chest - once I started looking for it, I noticed it more and more throughout the story - very subtle - but very meaningful. I'm so anxious for an update!
Marie
mvansand76:
Chapter 6 is up!!!!!! *Faints*
MaineWriter:
Here's a link to Chapter 6....
http://debutante9.livejournal.com/12933.html#cutid1
Leslie
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