see this is where I think people who have never been TRULY poor understand reality. We hear these incredible stories about people that overcome poverty and go on to be doctors or lawyers or millionaires....but we hear them BECAUSE they are unusual and rare...if a LOT of people were overcoming poverty everyday...it wouldn't be news!!
I am not sure how many people achieve these things and it never gets reported or discussed. Quiet victories are still victories. Sometimes people can manage to do extraordinary things by taking serious risks. I'm not one of those people. My game plan has been to take incremental steps towards my greater goals. In part, it helps build my confidence in myself and show that I can be successful in the things I try. It's probably the better solution for people like me who probably would be devastated by a major catastrophic failure. I think the best way people achieve success is to make a plan that carries with it reasonable risks and steps that can be tracked along the way towards a particular goal. It may take longer than putting everything on the line at once, but I think it's more realistic for more cautious folks.
We also need to take better care of ourselves. I've found things like eating right and exercise to be major helps in coping with stress, and being open and honest about your feelings with others also helps us cope with bad things that happen to us. Not only did a psychologist assist me in helping deal with my mom, but also some counselling by the hospice care people.
or did it make it worse? cause as much as the anticipation as there was....there was that much anguish when they had to part. If Jack had accepted that he couldn't have this dream maybe he could have lowered his expectations and been happier...
Unfortunately, you can't rationalize love away. It's sort of like the first person you truly fell in love with in your life. With time the memories and the intensity of the feelings may become rarer, but if that person was right back in front of you, making you recall those memories, a lot of the feelings are likely to come back with them. Jack and Ennis lived the lives society expected them to live. Jack was prepared to dump Lureen the moment Ennis said yes -- she basically served as some sort of "next best thing." Ennis drifted around as though he was a spectator to his own life, clueless as to how to manage the people around him, and the feelings they developed for him. But the one thing both of them knew whenever they were together - Brokeback got them good, and they were powerless to change that.
Was it, though? I think sometimes it's possible to have a dream, but if you don't have any idea how to take the first step to realize the dream, or anyone to encourage you or help you on that first step, maybe that dream stays a dream.
This happens to a lot of people. The best solution that has worked for me is to ask for help. If you don't know how to get started, someone does, but none of us are psychic, so the only way someone can offer their own experiences is if they are asked. What is often nice about asking is that you learn something you can then pass along to the next person who might be in the same boat you are, and helping others often feels wonderful.
I thought Jack DID lower his expectations after the divorce debacle. And he stayed with Ennis a decade or so longer even though he knew Ennis would never give himself to him. That's why, at the lake, he said, "I did once" with such regret.
I think you could read the regret on their faces as time passed, up until the point where the big blowup about "all we've got is Brokeback Mountain." Jack and Ennis came to tolerate their 'unwritten agreement,' completely unfair and ridiculous it had come to be after all that time. The whole thing was maddening to me, but then I didn't grow up in 1960s Wyoming and wasn't about to have my life's ambitions and measurement of success dictated by societal convention. I was becoming as exasperated as Jack at the total lack of progress in making any change. The first time I saw the film, I thought for sure that Ennis' collapse on the ground was FINALLY a potential breakthrough moment, where Jack could finally say enough was enough and take a lead role in getting himself into Ennis' life, even if it meant building a cabin next door. But it wasn't to be.
But ultimately, the opportunity to win in the end was taken away by Jack's death. And after that, Ennis finally had his moment of clarity, of revelation and acceptance. Unfortunately for him, it was too late.
Message to the rest of us: Don't let this happen to you!