The World Beyond BetterMost > The Culture Tent
I Love Funny Country Songs!!
injest:
The Streak
Ray Stevens
Hello everybody, this is your action news reporter
With all the news that is news across the nation
On the scene at the super market
There seems to have been some disturbance here
Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?
Yeh, I did...I was standing over there by the tomatoes
And here he come
Running thru the pole beans, thru the fruits and vegetables
Naked as a jay-bird
And I hollered over at Ethel...Isaid don't look Ethel
It was too late, she'd already been incensed...
[Chorus:]
Here he comes, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
There he goes, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
And he ain't wearin' no clothes
Oh yes, they call him the streak
Fastest thing on two feet
He's just as proud as he can be
Of his anatomy
He's gonna give us a peek
Oh yes, they call him the streak
He likes to show off his physique
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streakin' around
Invitin' public critique...
This is your action news reporter once again
And we're here at the gas station
Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?
Yeh, I did...I was just in here gettin' my tires checked
And he just appeared out of the traffic
Come streakin' around the grease rack there
Didn't have nothing on but a smile
I looked in there and Ethel was gettin' her a cold drink
I hollered...Don't look Ethel
It was too late...She'd already been mooned
Flashed her right there in front of the shock absorbers
[Chorus]
He ain't rude, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
He ain't lewd, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
He's just in the mood to run in the nude
Oh yes, they call him the streak
He likes to turn the other cheek
He's always making the news
Wearin' just his tennis shoes
Guess you could call him unique...
Once again, your action news reporter in the booth at the gym
Covering the disturbance at the basketball playoffs
Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?
Yeh, I did...half-time, I was just going down there
To get Ethel a snow cone
Here he come right our of the cheap seats
Dribblin'...right down the middle of the court
Didn't have on nothin' but his PF's
Made a hook shot and got out thru the concession stand
I hollered up at Ethel, I said don't look Ethel
It was too late...She'd already got a free shot
Grandstanded...Right there in front of the home team
Here he comes...look...who's that with him?
Ethel, is that you, Ethel?
What do you think you're doing?
You get your clothes on!
Ethel, where you going?
Ethel, you shameless hussy
Say it isn't so Ethel
Ethel..................
injest:
--- Quote from: delalluvia on May 01, 2007, 08:53:08 pm ---The Mississippi Squirrel Revival
Well, when I was a kid I'd take a trip every summer down the Mississippi
To visit my granny in her antebellum world
I'd run barefooted all day long, climbin' trees free as a song
And one day I happened to catch myself a squirrel.
Well, I stuffed him down in an old shoe box, punched a couple of holes in the top
And when Sunday came I snuck him into church.
--- End quote ---
Good one, Del!! Thanks!
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: injest on May 01, 2007, 11:53:08 pm ---The Streak
Ray Stevens
--- End quote ---
I haven't thought of that one in years! ;D
Now, anybody got the words to Jim Stafford's "I don't like spiders and snakes"? ;D
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: injest on May 01, 2007, 11:43:33 pm ---*Jeff rushing out to stock up on tequila, salt, and lime*
--- End quote ---
And scotch for myself. I'll want to have all my faculties about me. ;) :laugh:
southendmd:
--- Quote from: Jeff Wrangler on May 02, 2007, 01:38:17 pm ---Now, anybody got the words to Jim Stafford's "I don't like spiders and snakes"? ;D
--- End quote ---
Sure thing, Jeff:
I remember when Mary Lou said
"You wanna walk me home from school"
And I said, "Yes, I do"
She said, "I don't have to go right home
And I'm the kind that likes to be alone
As long as you would"
I said, "Me, too"
And so we took a stroll
Wound up down by the swimmin' hole
And she said, "Do what you want to do"
I got silly and I found a frog
In the water by a hollow log
And I shook it at her
And I said "This frog's for you"
She said, "I don't like spiders and snakes
And that ain't what it takes to love me
You fool, you fool
I don't like spiders and snakes
And that ain't what it takes to love me
Like I want to be loved by you"
Well, I think of that girl from time to time
I call her up when I got a dime
I say, "Hello, baby"
She says, "Ain't you cool"
I say, "Do you remember when
"And would you like to get together again"
She says, "I'll see you after school"
I was shy and so for a while
Most of my love was touch and smile
Til she said, "Come on over here"
I was nervous as you might guess
Still looking for somethin' to slip down her dress
And she said, "Let's make it perfectly clear"
She said, "I don't like spiders and snakes
And that ain't what it takes to love me
You fool, you fool
I don't like spiders and snakes
And that ain't what it takes to love me
Like I want to be loved by you"
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