BetterMost Community Blogs > My "Great White North"
Bitch, Bitch, Bitch
opinionista:
--- Quote from: delalluvia on May 18, 2007, 10:21:24 pm ---Passive-aggressive. They didn't want to take you there in the first place. But then they did for whatever reason but they made you sorry that you went.
One of my ex's was very much like this. It's a very controlling tactic. He makes you miserable every time you go somewhere he doesn't want to go. After a while, you dread going anywhere he doesn't want to. We didn't stay together.
Another one of my ex's was like this, too. He would actually shrug off my touch in public, try to act like we were not together. It was self-esteem and soul destroying. That was many years ago now and I'm still not over that. :(
--- End quote ---
It is very painful when they do that to you, isn't it? It happened to me too. Made me feel like shit.
injest:
my pet peeve is to ask someone where they want to go eat and they say "oh anywhere is fine"...ARGH!
just say where you want to go eat. My mother is the WORST! no matter where you choose she acts as if it was the wrong thing but she is gonna suffer thru for YOU!! That martyr act gets old FAST!
so now I try to narrow it down by saying two choices...."Do you want to go to Chili's or Casa Ole?" that seems to work a little better...
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: injest on May 19, 2007, 10:08:19 am ---my pet peeve is to ask someone where they want to go eat and they say "oh anywhere is fine"...ARGH!
--- End quote ---
Tell you what, I have to admit I'm guilty of this sort of behavior from time to time, and not just with regard to choosing a restaurant. And in my case I think I know where it comes from, too.
I was an only child, and I think because of that, my mother constantly drummed into my head that it isn't "all about me," I can't have my own way all the time, it's not always what I want, and so forth.
So I seem to have this knee-jerk reaction that when someone asks me what I want to do, and so forth, I have this instinctive reaction to want to be agreeable, not try to have my own way, and accommodate what the other party wants.
:-\
injest:
--- Quote from: Jeff Wrangler on May 19, 2007, 10:16:25 am ---Tell you what, I have to admit I'm guilty of this sort of behavior from time to time, and not just with regard to choosing a restaurant. And in my case I think I know where it comes from, too.
I was an only child, and I think because of that, my mother constantly drummed into my head that it isn't "all about me," I can't have my own way all the time, it's not always what I want, and so forth.
So I seem to have this knee-jerk reaction that when someone asks me what I want to do, and so forth, I have this instinctive reaction to want to be agreeable, not try to have my own way, and accommodate what the other party wants.
:-\
--- End quote ---
well, I will give you a pass if you are gracious about whereever you end up! :laugh:
It is the attitude that is most important....if you are like..."Great! I like that!" then I am fine....
delalluvia:
--- Quote from: injest on May 19, 2007, 10:08:19 am ---my pet peeve is to ask someone where they want to go eat and they say "oh anywhere is fine"...ARGH!
just say where you want to go eat. My mother is the WORST! no matter where you choose she acts as if it was the wrong thing but she is gonna suffer thru for YOU!! That martyr act gets old FAST!
so now I try to narrow it down by saying two choices...."Do you want to go to Chili's or Casa Ole?" that seems to work a little better...
--- End quote ---
:laugh: :laugh:
Yet another one of my ex's was like this. Not only did he say, "oh, anywhere is fine." but when you made a suggestion would say, "Oh, not there." So you had to go through a list of restaurants before you found a place he wanted to go. Once, we sat in a parking lot, engine running, for 20 minutes trying to find a place.
I finally asked, exasperated, "If any place is 'fine', why are you disagreeing? Apparently SOME places are not fine. Why don't you just say so?!?!?"
Jess and Jeff
But of course, being decisive about dinner is a two-edged sword.
If someone asks me where I want to go, I will sometimes say "Oh, anywhere." But I mean it. But trouble is, I almost always know where I want to eat and I will say so when asked.
You eventually get called 'controlling' or 'selfish' because the other person, being polite, will give in and gets resentful after a time.
"We always go where you want to go."
Is it my fault if I know where I want to go when someone asks me?
It's not like I won't compromise. :P
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