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I started this little treasure over on IMDb so hope it will raise a few chuckles here on BetterMost ;D
It simply does what it says on the tin! Playmates answer the questions incorrectly before posing another question. I apologise if this has been done before - it's every new member's dread to find they have overstepped the mark with posting new threads that have already been exhausted prior to their arrival! It can get very, very funny so I hope you will all add and enjoy!
Here is an example:
Q: What was Jack Twist doing whilst looking in the wing mirror of his truck outside of Aguirre's trailer?
A: Plucking his eyebrows and singing 'My old man's a dustman, he wears a dustman's hat...' ;D
Ready?
First question.
Q: What was the first thing that Jack said to Ennis in the movie?
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Q: What was the first thing that Jack said to Ennis in the movie?
A: I saw ya lookin' at Aguirre! Well Hands off cowboy, he's all MINE!!!
Q: What drinks did the boys buy in the bar in Signal?
Cool game HP!! ;D
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Thanks Saucycobblers! ;D
Q: What drinks did the boys buy in the bar in Signal?
A: A nice warming cup of Earl Grey tea - supped with their little fingers raised in a ladylike fashion :laugh:
Q: What did Alma like wearing to bed?
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Q: What did Alma like wearing to bed?
A: Those red long johns with the flap that opens in back.
Q: Why did Jack and Lureen's baby smile a lot?
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Q: Why did Jack and Lureen's baby smile a lot?
A: It wasn't really smiling. It had gas from all the beans Jack cooked.
Q: Why was Jack so fond of the rodeo?
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Q: Why was Jack so fond of the rodeo?
A: It made a pleasant change from ice skating. Those sequinned costumes can chafe after a while...
Q: What did Jack write to Ennis after four effen years?
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Q: What did Jack write to Ennis after four effen years?
A: He wrote a missive about his new hat saying 'You'll never believe it Ennis but I picked up a dang good bargain down in the Texan Wallmart store - 54 bucks for a suede moma and it suits me splendidly, I have to say with my customary modesty' :P
Q: When Ennis and Jack first got cosy in the tent, where did Jack direct Ennis' hand to?
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Glad to see this game revived -
Yup this game's been here before - and in this very forum too - thread's current name is "Ask a stoopid question ... get a stoopid answer"
If'n ya wanna check out some a the great answers offered previously you can check out this link:
http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php/topic,998.135.html
But that thread's been pretty dormant of late, so folks - go with it - I love readin new "Wrong Answers"
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Glad to see this game revived -
Yup this game's been here before - and in this very forum too - thread's current name is "Ask a stoopid question ... get a stoopid answer"
If'n ya wanna check out some a the great answers offered previously you can check out this link:
http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php/topic,998.135.html
But that thread's been pretty dormant of late, so folks - go with it - I love readin new "Wrong Answers"
Oh dear, sorry Sheriff Roland - I had not realised that this had been done before. Please accept my apologies. Thanks for your kind understanding however, it's such a fun game and the answers always make me laugh!
Best wishes,
Lo :-*
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Q: When Ennis and Jack first got cosy in the tent, where did Jack direct Ennis' hand to?
A: Jack directed Ennis's hand to the feather on his hat, guiding it all the way down the shaft of the feather.
Q: When Monroe finished carving the Thanksgiving turkey, what did he do with the electric knife.
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Q: When Monroe finished carving the Thanksgiving turkey, what did he do with the electric knife.
A: Handed it back to Alma, who keeps it in her top dresser drawer to use during her "private time."
Q: When Jack and Ennis parted in Signal, why didn't Jack offer Ennis a ride?
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Q: When Jack and Ennis parted in Signal, why didn't Jack offer Ennis a ride?
A: He had only just so many rides in him or,... Ennis had done rode 'im out or,... Didn't have any rides left in 'im or,... He had hisself a headache ... well you get the picture
Q: Did Alma Jr. really understand when her daddy said he wouldn't be around ...
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Q: Did Alma Jr. really understand when her daddy said he wouldn't be around ...
A. Yes, she knew all about his philandering ways and trysts with Twist :P
Q: What was it that Cassie said 'Girls don't fall in love with' to Ennis in the diner?
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Q: What was it that Cassie said 'Girls don't fall in love with' to Ennis in the diner?
A: Curly moustaches and disco dancers ;D
Q: What song did Jack really sing by the river on Brokeback?
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Q: What song did Jack really sing by the river on Brokeback?
A: He was whistling to the tune of You Can't Sit Down by The Dovells .. :P It was a smash back in '63!
Q: Why did Jack grab Ennis' hand and place it on his ..ahem.. crotch?
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Q: Why did Jack grab Ennis' hand and place it on his ..ahem.. crotch?
A: Because he wanted to say, "Wakey, wakey, hands on snakey!"
Q: Ennis told Jack, "This ain't no rodeo, cowboy." So what was it really?
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This wasnt no rodeo really, what was it?
It was a cowboy round up, and Ennis was gonna be his dancing partner for the
square dancing tournament..
Why did Jack say he could lend Ennis some money when they got back to Signal.?
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"Why did Jack say he could lend Ennis some money when they got back to Signal.?"
He knew he wouldn't be seeing Ennis in awhile so he told Ennis to buy some Chip n Dale dancers and have a good time.
When Alma saw Jack and Ennis Kissing, what did she really do?
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When Alma saw Jack and Ennis Kissing, what did she really do?
She grabbed her purse, to get quarters for them to use the miracle massage bed at the
Siesta Motel
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Q. What did Jack and Ennis really do at the Siesta Motel?
A. Played cards, strip poker to be exact, and Ennis was really embarrassed when he lost.
Q. What did Ennis really think of Jack's rendition of Water Walkin Jesus?
L
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Q. What did Ennis really think of Jack's rendition of Water Walkin Jesus?
A. He figured he would leave the mountain, and start a traveling tabernacle for
the PENTACOSTALS since his mama believed in the pentacost. She weren't no
methodist..
Q. Why did Ennis kick the bucket full of ashes beside the swing set?
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Q. Why did Ennis kick the bucket of ashes beside the swing set?
A. because he wanted OMT and LD Newsome to kick the bucket for mistreating Jack.
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Q. Why did Cassie fall in love with Ennis?
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Q. Why did Cassie fall in love with Ennis?
A. Because he was such a good dancer.
Q. Why were the people on the pavement looking at Ennis?
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A. For the same real we all would too, because he is so cute!!!!!!
Q. Why did Junior forget her blue sweater in the trailer?
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Q. Why did Junior forget her blue sweater in the trailer
A She was marrying a roughneck and didnt want it to get snagged
Q Why did Aguirre Make the herder sleep with the sheep, 100%
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Q Why did Aguirre Make the herder sleep with the sheep, 100%?
A. Because while Jack and Ennis might have been gay, Aguiree was...well. we won't get into that.
Q. Why did Aguirre call Jack and Ennis "a pair a deuces"?
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Q. Why did Aguirre call Jack and Ennis "a pair a deuces"?
A. Because he had a pair of threes and wanted to win the hand.
Q. Why were the people on the pavement looking at Ennis?
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Q. Why were the people on the pavement looking at Ennis?
There were no people on the Pavment! Ennis was tripping on LSD (well, it was the 60's)
Q. Why did Jr need Crayons?
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Q. Why did Jr need Crayons?
A. Because she wanted to go to COLORado, where her daddy coulda had a sweet life with Jack!
Q. Why didn't Ennis want to saaang at the church social??
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Q Why didnt Ennis want ta sang at the church social?
A He knew he had lost his hymnal on his trip up Brokeback with Jack
Q. How many high altitude fuchs would Jack, a been able to get by on?
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three hundred and sixty-five; one a day cause he was a horn dog.
Q. Why did the customers in the Newsome store call Jack a piss-ant?
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Q. Why did the customers in the Newsome store call Jack a piss-ant?
A. T hey had watched him more than one time thru the hole in the bathroom stall. Watched how he
really was more like a horse.
Q. Why was it ok with Monroe, when Alma Jr knocked off the jars of peanuts.??
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A. because she was cute and he wanted to make an impression on her mama.
Q. Why did Ennis not tell Jack the truth when he said he was sending up a prayer of thanks?
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Q. Why did Ennis not tell Jack the truth when he said he was sending up a prayer of thanks?
A He didnt mind the harmonica, it was that damned drum set he was thankful he didnt bring.
Q. Why did Jack have to carry the sheep on his shoulders over the creek?
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Q. Why did Jack have to carry the sheep on his shoulders over the creek?
A. Cause he couldn't find the damn lamb handle.
Q. Why is there nail polish on Lureen's finger? (in her last appearance in the movie)
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Q. Why is there nail polish on Lureen's finger? (in her last appearance in the movie)
A. Because Jack always put her polish on, and he was only half there at the time.
Q. How many weeks did it take Bobby to eat that Thanksgiving dinner?
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Q: Why was Ennis eatin' pie in a bus depot?
A. Because they won't let him eat it in the church. Too much fire and brimstone.
Q. If Coyotes have balls the size a apples. How big are LDs chickens
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A. They are the size of coyotes. LD wanted them that big so that Jack couldn't kill 'em.'
Q. Hey, what ever happened to the powdered milk and the spuds?
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Q. Hey, what ever happened to the powdered milk and the spuds
A. The Chilean sheep herders got the milk for the lambs, and the spuds for their horse...
they didnt have no beer or whiskey.....
Q. How long did Aguirre watch Jack and Ennis the next day when he came back? and the
next, and the next.....etc?
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Q. How long did Aguirre watch Jack and Ennis the next day when he came back? and the
next, and the next.....etc?
A: Not as long as Ennis needed. ::)
Q. Where was that shirt Ennis wore down the mountain that whole summer?
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Q. Where was that shirt Ennis wore down the mountain that whole summer?
A. It was under his horse blanket, to keep the ticks from his up hill shirt.
Q. What was it made the tent not look right?
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Q. What was it made the tent not look right?
A. Jack weren't in it ... nekked - with him.
Q. "You don't say much, but you get your point accross" What did Cassie mean with this statement?
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Q. "You don't say much, but you get your point accross" What did Cassie mean with this statement?
A. She wanted Jr to tell her daddy to dance with her, the woman that wanted to be his wife. But everyone knows husbands don't never wanta do that.
Q. Why did Ennis buy a new Kreel if he didn't ever plan on fishing?
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A. He planned on going fishing but they weren't "jumpin." So he killed elk instead. He just forgot to tell Alma that he and Jack were "huntin" buddies.
Q. Why didn't Ennis respond to Jack when he said "nice to meet ya" Ennis Delmar?
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Q. What was it made the tent not look right?
A: Jack wasn't lying in it naked.
Q: Why do women powder their noses just to go home and go to bed?
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Well I guess I should have known the answer to that question. You both did... :laugh: :laugh:
Q: Why do women powder their noses just to go home and go to bed?
A. Because if there is a wolf there. They will look nice when he sees them. a la( ridinghoods gma)
Q. How many woods would a Jack whack whack, if a whack Jack could whack wood??
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Hey what about my question- the one under the kreel case? ???
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I mean the question under the answer about the kreel.
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She just missed your answer and went back to the one before.. so ill do it.
Q. Why didn't Ennis respond to Jack when he said "nice to meet ya" Ennis Delmar?
A. He was afraid Jack was going to steal that fancy watch Aguirre gave him...
Q. Why was it that all the basque had was beans .?
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Thanks for answering my question. By the way, your answer was funny. ;D
Now should I answer the whack whack question or the one about the basques and beans?- or both.........?
Q. How many whacks would a Jack whack whack, if a whack Jack could whack wood?
A. He wouldn't be whacking wood but if he could whack wood, he'd whack it 100 times to get him ready to whack you know who.
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Q. Why was it that all the basque had was beans?
A. Because he couldn't get Ma Twist to bake cherry cakes for E&J so the next best thing were 'Better Most' beans which were the best beans in town.
Q. Why did Jack have to ask 10 different people where Ennis lived when he showed up unannounced at his house?
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Q. Why did Jack have to ask 10 different people where Ennis lived when he showed up unannounced at his house?
A. Because the first nine were all in the cemetary, and they dont talk much in the laying down
position.
A. Why did Jack think he was gonna asphixiate from the smell of 40 dead sheep?
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Q. Why did Jack think he was gonna asphixiate from the smell of 40 dead sheep?
A. Because he didn't go up there to tend sheep. He went up there to phixiate his as by finding Ennis.
Q. Why did Ennis ask Alma to pick up some round steak on the way home from work while babysitting the girls at the same time?
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A. Because she knew that Ennis was versatile. He could be with her and Jack at the same time. (If he wanted to)
Q. Who was Aquirre talking to on the phone when he told the person NO, NO- not on your f------g life?
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OOOPS- misread that question about the round steaks ???
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Q. Why did Ennis ask Alma to pick up some round steak on the way home from work while babysitting the girls at the same time?
A. He had an idea Jack was comin up, and he was going to need his protein
Q. Who was Aquirre talking to on the phone when he told the person NO, NO- not on your f------g life?
A. His agent. He was talking to him about a book he wanted to write about two gay sheep herders. But the agent wanted it to be about two gay cowboys.
Q. Why did Ennis put the Coyote skin on a pole, and make a totem?
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A. He wanted Jack to be able to keep track of him at all times. Never mind safeguarding the sheep!
Q. Why was the "Jolly Green Giant" in Monroe's store, on top of one of the
shelves?
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Q Why was the "Jolly Green Giant" in Monroe's store, on top of one of the
shelves?
A Because in Giant land they dont come out of the closet. They come off the shelf. And the other Giant wanted to harvest his niblets.
Q Why did Jack ride the mare with the low startle Point?
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Q Why did Jack ride the mare with the low startle Point?
A He wanted to be thrown so that Ennis would have to tend to him....hm guess this is the right answer :laugh:
Q Why did Arguirre wait for the boys to dress before he rode down to tell Jack about his uncle?
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A. He didn't really want to wait because he was trying to hurry to get down there for a menage a trois, but his horse wasn't fast enough!
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Q. Why was Lureen in such a hurry to "get into it" with Jack?
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A He wanted to be thrown so that Ennis would have to tend to him....hm guess this is the right answer
There is no such thing as a wrong answer Dagi. This is the wrong answer game.....................
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Q. Why was Lureen in such a hurry to "get into it" with Jack?
A. She heard he liked to ride things that took only 8 seconds.
Q. How come the BLM didn't like pup tents up with the sheep?
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A. Because the pup tents smelled like cat piss or worse and the smell would have asphixiated the sheep.
Q. Why did Jack keep his friends names and addresses in his head?
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Q. Why did Jack keep his friends names and addresses in his head?
A. Cause when he kept them in his ear, he couldn't hear the bluebirds sing.
Q. Why did Aguirre give them 30.30s instead of a 30.06?
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Q. Why did Aguirre give them 30.30s instead of a 30.06?
A Because he knew it wouldn´t make any difference with ranch stiffs who never do much of a job.
Q Why did Jack complain about one of them having to sleep with the sheep?
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Q Why did Jack complain about one of them having to sleep with the sheep?
A.
He knew the sheep like to sleep in the middle, and they needed two for that.
Q. Why was it Jack kept on being the dumb ass, missin all the time?
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Q. Why was it Jack kept on being the dumb ass, missin all the time?
A: It was a little known fact that Jack had a glass eye.
Q. Why did Jack grow a moustache?
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Q. Why did Jack grow a moustache?
A. He had always been taught to clean everything before putting it in your mouth.
Q. Why didnt the tent look right?
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Q. Why didn't the tent look right?
A. Because it was an American tent and had been taught to look left first.
Q. What was Ennis's nickname for his brother, K.E.?
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Q. What was Ennis's nickname for his brother, K.E.?
A. His nickname for his brother was KEep away from me.
Q. How many times did Jack have to drive to Wyoming before he came back
home with a fish?
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Q. How many times did Jack have to drive to Wyoming before he came back
home with a fish?
A. Until he died. He never caught the big one.
Q. Where is Lake Kemp anyway?
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Excellent ans. angel.
Q. Where is Lake Kemp anyway?
A. Just turn right at the corner, past the field of broken dreams!!
Q. Why did Jack and Randall say Roy Taylor was a good ole boy?
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Q. Why did Jack and Randall say Roy Taylor was a good ole boy?
A. because all those years of smokin' aged him prematurely!
Q. Why did Jack redline it all the way to Ennis?
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Q. Why did Jack redline it all the way to Ennis?
A. because there were no green lines available.
Q. what was Bobby eating at Tgiving dinner?
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Q. what was Bobby eating at Tgiving dinner?
A. He was eating breakfask because he had sayed out all night cow tipping.
Q. Did Cassie and Karl end up together?
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Q. Did Cassie and Karl end up together?
A. Naw, because Karl ended up taking a Greyhound to Denver.
Q. What's a krummholz anyway?
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Q. What's a krummholz anyway?
A. The little space in the fabric of a table cloth where crumbs get caught.
Q. What did Ennis end up spending those two fives in the tobacco tin on?
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Q. What did Ennis end up spending those two fives in the tobacco tin on?
Some lube.
What is in Ma Twist's cherry cake?
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Q. What is in Ma Twist's cherry cake?
A. Sara Lee.
Q. Why did OMT spit into his coffee cup?
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Q. Why did OMT spit into his coffee cup?
A. Because Ma Twist had shut her mouth.
Q. Why couldn't Ennis eat no cake?
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Q. Why couldn't Ennis eat no cake?
A. Because he had a happy meal in the car on the way to Lightning Flat.
Q. Did Jack's moustache tickle?
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Q. Did Jack's moustache tickle?
A. Ask Ennis' pickle.
Q. Was Bobby really bitchy?
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Q. Was Bobby really bitchy?
A. Do you really have to ask?
Q. Who taught Ennis to dance?
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Q. Who taught Ennis to dance?
A. Twyla Tharp, but Ennis skipped a lot of classes.
Q. Lureen: Does she or doesn't she?
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Q. Lureen: Does she or doesn't she?
A. She doesn't. Her hair color is all natural.
Q. Why did Mrs Twist marry OMT?
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Q. Did Cassie and Karl end up together?
A. Hell no, Girls don't fall in love with fun!
Q. Why don't Texans drink coffee?
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Q. Why did Mrs Twist marry OMT?
A. Somebody had to, so Jack could be born.
Q. Where was Jack's blue parka?
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Q. Why don't Texans drink coffee?
A. Because it doesn't contain alcohol.
Q. Where was Jack's blue parka?
A. Hanging in Ennis' closet, inside Ennis' tan parka.
Q. Why hadn't Ennis spoken much for a year?
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Q. Why hadn't Ennis spoken much for a year?
A. Because he wanted to improve his skills in sign language. Boy, was he a blabbermouth (-hands?) when it came to ASL ;D.
Q. What was Jack rollin', considering he didn't roll his own?
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Q. Where was Jack's blue parka?
A. Hanging in Ennis' closet, inside Ennis' tan parka.
Wow.
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Q. What was Jack rollin', considering he didn't roll his own?
A. He was rollin; the dice, to see who was next.
Q. Were can you find boxes of soup?
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Q. Were can you find boxes of soup?
A. With the basque, they're too hard to pack, so he keeps them and eats them.
Q. What does the basque pack?
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Q. What does the basque pack?
A. Whiskey (under his beret) that he sells to Jack on the sly.
Q. Who taught Jack to play the harmonica?
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Q. Who taught Jack to play the harmonica?
A. Stevie Wonder. Jack missed a few lessons (same time Ennis was skipping Twyla Tharp).
Q. Is there really a whiskey spring?
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Q. Is there really a whiskey spring?
A. Yup, right after whiskey winter and just before whiskey summer.
Q. What song do the bluebirds sing?
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Q. What song do the bluebirds sing?
A. [youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcxYwwIL5zQ[/youtube]
Q. Where does Lureen shop?
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Q. Where does Lureen shop?
A. (http://www.hazelstackshop.com/images/tackshop.jpg)
Q. Was the electric knife Alma's, or Munroe's?
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Q. Was the electric knife Alma's, or Munroe's?
A. Lureen bought it for herself, for those lonely nights following her divorce.
Q. How did Mr. Twist know where Brokeback Mountain is?
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Q. How did Mr. Twist know where Brokeback Mountain is?
A. Because he and Uncle Harold had a little tryst up there many years ago. How he met Ma Twist.
Q. Why was Aguirre so sour all the time?
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Q. Why was Aguirre so sour all the time?
A. Because his binoculars broke and he couldn't watch Jack and Ennis anymore.
Q. Why did Ennis warn Jack about "beaver fever"?
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Q. Why did Ennis warn Jack about "beaver fever"?
A. Because Jack was already bucktoothed enough; Ennis didn't want him eating popcorn out of the neck of a jug.
Q. What point did Alma Jr. get across?
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Q. What point did Alma Jr. get across?
A. That she wanted another Coke.
Q. Where did that woman on the dance floor get all those tattoos?
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Q. Where did that woman on the dance floor get all those tattoos?
A. From the tatoo dealership down the road.
Q. Why didn't they ever fish?
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Q. Why didn't they ever fish?
A. They were too busy playing with their rods and reels.
Q. Why doesn't Ennis like to sing?
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Q. Why doesn't Ennis like to sing?
A. because he who brings the songs out of his chest isn't there.
Q. why didn't they have any spuds and powdered milk?
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Q. why didn't they have any spuds and powdered milk?
A. Because the Basque used them to make clam chowder that he packed in boxes and sold out of the trunk of his car in the gas-station parking lot.
A. Why did Alma want to go to the Knife and Fork?
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Q. Why did Alma want to go to the Knife and Fork?
A. because they were so behind on their bills they could only afford spoons at home.
Q. why wasn't anyone eating supper unless Alma was serving it?
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Q. why wasn't anyone eating supper unless Alma was serving it?
A. Because they were having soup and Ennis had been known to have broth-related allergies since he was about 5 and a half years old.
Q. Why was Jack so comfy with his boot in the fire?
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Q. Why was Jack so comfy with his boot in the fire?
A. Because he had a wooden leg.
Q. Why didn't the boys stem the tulip?
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Q. Why didn't the boys stem the tulip?
A. Cause tulips blossom early in spring, before they went up on Brokeback
Q. why didn't the coyote eat the whole sheap?
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Q. why didn't the coyote eat the whole sheap?
A. He was full from all the spuds and powdered milk.
Q. What sin had Ennis not had the opportunity to commit?
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Q. What sin had Ennis not had the opportunity to commit?
A. Wearing white shoes after Labor Day.
Q. What did Jack and the prostitute say besides Senor?
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Q. What did Jack and the prostitute say besides Senor?
A. Ay Papi!
Q. How many sororities did Lureen pledge to?
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Q. What did Jack and the prostitute say besides Senor?
A. Ay Papi!
Q. How many sororities did Lureen pledge to
A. Just the one. She was always in a hurry.
Q. Why did Alma not say anything about "The Kiss?"
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Q. Why did Alma not say anything about "The Kiss?"
A. She thought it was CPR.
Q. What's up with Fayette anyway?
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Q. What's up with Fayette anyway?
A. She is getting her hair set for the Daughters of the Alamo meeting.
Q. Just what is "Stemming the Rose" anyway?
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Q. Just what is "Stemming the Rose" anyway?
A. Ask Morticia: (http://www.addamsfamily.com/addams/rose1.jpg)
Q. Why wasn't Ennis the marryin' kind?
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Q. Why wasn't Ennis the marryin' kind?
A. Because marriage is meant for one man and one woman to make any number of bablies and what Ennis liked to do didn't make too many babies.
Q. Where did Jack get the weed from?
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Q. Where did Jack get the weed from?
A. His mother-in-law was a major dealer in Childress.
Q. Who is Don Wroe, anyway?
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Q. Who is Don Wroe, anyway?
A. Don Wroe is a plump, govial 73 year old neighbor of Ennis's who has 14 cats and is always asking Ennis to have supper with him.
Q. What did Jack tell his family when took off when Ennis's divorce came thru?
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Q. What did Jack tell his family when took off when Ennis's divorce came thru?
A. That he was just going out to get a pack of smokes.
Q. Why did Ennis put the blocks to Cassie?
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Q. Why did Ennis put the blocks to Cassie?
A. Because he was trying to build a fence to sit on.
Q. Why could Ennis paw the white off the moon?
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Q. Why could Ennis paw the white off the moon?
A. Because all the other colours were already taken.
Q. Who was calling Aguirre?
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Q. Who was calling Aguirre?
A. His Avon lady.
Q. Story Cassie had "some problems" that Ennis didn't want. What were they?
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Q. Story Cassie had "some problems" that Ennis didn't want. What were they?
A. a) It freaked him out that she would start playing with his toes whenever they were in bed.
b) She always dipped her buttered toast in her morning coffee.
c) Her belly button was neither an innie nor an outie.
Q. Why did Jack steal Ennis' shirt in the first place?
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Q. Why did Jack steal Ennis' shirt in the first place?
Any "wrong" answer I can think of somehow seems sacrilegious. :-X
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I'll give it a try then:
Q. Why did Jack steal Ennis' shirt in the first place?
A. There was a button missing, and Jack planned to mend it before giving it back to Ennis.
Q. Why is LD walking sidewards?
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Q. Why is LD walking sidewards?
A. He was practising for his next Pas dedDeux with Fayette. They always contributed something elegant to the country club's annual ball.
Q. What big achievements could Ennis have reached if he had three hands?
=== aside ===
I always wondered about LD's strange sidewards movements.
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Q. What big achievements could Ennis have reached if he had three hands?
A. He could've scratched his belly, poured his coffee, and peed in the sink all at the same time.
Q. What was the real reason Lureen dyed her hair blonde?
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Q. What big achievements could Ennis have reached if he had three hands?
A. He could've scratched his belly, poured his coffee, and peed in the sink all at the same time.
You don't need a hand to pee in the sink...
Q. What was the real reason Lureen dyed her hair blonde?
A. She was runner-up in a Dolly Parton look-alike contest.
Q. What's the difference between TriDelt and Kappa Phi?
-
You don't need a hand to pee in the sink...
:laugh: :laugh: This is true. Okay, he could've scratched his belly, poured his coffee, peed in the sink and pulled his shirt on all at the same time.
Q. What's the difference between TriDelt and Kappa Phi?
A. One has eight letters and one has seven.
Q. What happened when the real estate shark came to get the keys from Ennis?
-
Q. What happened when the real estate shark came to get the keys from Ennis?
A. Ennis' eyes popped out
(http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g116/CellarDweller115/photo%20caption%20pics/_MachoCowboy.jpg)
(pic stolen from Chuck ;D :-*)
Q. How did the Chilean sheepherders pass the time on the mountain?
-
Q. How did the Chilean sheepherders pass the time on the mountain?
A. They kept counting and recounting the sheep (and hence were asleep most of the time which prevented them from getting bored)
Q. Why were the soup boxes hard to pack?
-
Q. Why were the soup boxes hard to pack?
A. First, the basque would cook the soup, then pour it into little cardboard boxes which would get soggy and leaky and well, a pain to pack.
Q. What did the Siesta Motel manager say when he saw Jack and Ennis?
-
Q. What did the Siesta Motel manager say when he saw Jack and Ennis?
A. "Get a room."
Did Jack and Ennis not own bathing suits?
-
Did Jack and Ennis not own bathing suits?
No, because they just hated trying them on, especially under those ugly fluorescent dressing-room lights.
Why didn't Jack and Ennis quit smoking?
-
Q. Why didn't Jack and Ennis quit smoking?
A. They needed to put something in their mouths when they weren't together.
Q. Why did Jack let Lureen put that ugly furniture in their house?
-
Q. Why did Jack let Lureen put that ugly furniture in their house?
A. Because the neighbors complained when she kept it in the driveway.
Q. How tall was Fayette's beehive?
-
Q. How tall was Fayette's beehive?
A. Tall enough that L.D. didn't have to come down off his hi horse to empty it.
Q. Where did Ennis hear about the kind of guys they had in Mexico for boys like Jack?
-
Q. Where did Ennis hear about the kind of guys they had in Mexico for boys like Jack?
A. Ennis used to hang out with this drag queen named Sofonda Dick. She told him all about them guys in Mexico for boys just like Jack.
Q. What did Monroe do after Ennis stormed out that Thanksgiving night?
-
Q. What did Monroe do after Ennis stormed out that Thanksgiving night?
A. A double Axel and a triple Lutz. 5.9!
Q. What's a croppie house, anyway?
-
Q. What's a croppie house, anyway?
A. An Irish barber shop.
Q. why did Randall want to take Jack to an Irish barber shop?
-
Q. why did Randall want to take Jack to an Irish barber shop?
A. to try to clean him from his behavior and become more of a man
Q. why did Jack drive around in a truck when he could buy any car he liked?
-
Q. why did Jack drive around in a truck when he could buy any car he liked?
A. None of them he found ever matched his blue parka, or his maroon vest.
Q. Did Jack's truck backfire, every time it saw a good looking stud?
-
Q. Did Jack's truck backfire, every time it saw a good looking stud
A. Only when there was a film crew present.
Q. Why didn't Ennis need more furniture?
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis need more furniture?
A. If you don't get none, ya don't need none.
Q. Why did Jr have to wait till she was 19 ta do what she wanted?
-
I'm stuck... ;D
-
I'm stuck... ;D
I'll make a new question.....sorry
Q. How come they never put the hippy scene in the movie?
-
Q. How come they never put the hippy scene in the movie
A. they were afraid the audience would leave the cinema to go out and find something smoke-able.
Q. Why was Ennis so interested in Troy and his whereabouts?
-
Q. Why was Ennis so interested in Troy and his whereabouts?
A. He had heard that Troy was into fishing and camping.
Q. How did Randall know that you could fix a pickup with chewing gum and bailing wire?
-
Q. How did Randall know that you could fix a pickup with chewing gum and bailing wire?
A. He'd seen it on an episode of MacGyver.
Q. What did Alma write on the note she tied to Ennis' fishing line?
-
Q. What did Alma write on the note she tied to Ennis' fishing line?
A. "I really don't care for fish, in fact they're nasty."
Q. Where did Ennis buy his pyjamas?
-
Q. Where did Ennis buy his pyjamas?
A. On Ebay
Q. How much did Jack and Ennis earn up on Brokeback?
-
Q. How much did Jack and Ennis earn up on Brokeback?
A. a flower plant, a grass straw and some used condoms
Q. Why did Ennis have curly blond hair?
-
Q. Why did Ennis have curly blond hair?
A. because he dyed and permed it
Q. How come the tent didn´t look right?
-
Q. How come the tent didn´t look right?
A. Because the curtains didn't match the sofa.
Q. Why didn't Old Man Twist ever once go to see Jack ride?
-
Q. Why didn't Old Man Twist ever once go to see Jack ride?
A. Because he was busy getting his hair dyed and permed.
Q. Does Carl really talk?
-
Q.Does Carl really talk?
A. Only to is bud up on Swill-Swallow
Q. Why did Jack wash Ennis´s shirt?
-
Q. Why did Jack wash Ennis´s shirt?
A. 'Cuz his aim was bad.
Q. Why didn't Ennis wear any drawers?
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis wear any drawers?
A. Because he only liked wearing fancy drapers
Q. Why did Ennis live in Wyoming, when he could have lived in cold Sweden?
-
Q. Why did Ennis live in Wyoming, when he could have lived in cold Sweden?
A. He doesn't particularly care for herring, or naked women all over the place
Q. Why did Fayette and LD bring two boxes of fomula, when Lureen had two breasts of her own?
-
Q. Why did Fayette and LD bring two boxes of fomula, when Lureen had two breasts of her own?
A. Both had eyesight problems, so instead of getting the cola they got the fomula. And that Lureen were there aint something they saw
Q. What will brokeback mountain 2 be about?
-
Q. What will brokeback mountain 2 be about?
A. About one hour and twenty minutes.
Q. What is going to happen to all the fishing gear, since they dont, go up there to not fish anymore?
-
Q. What is going to happen to all the fishing gear, since they dont, go up there to not fish anymore?
A. Ennis sold it on Ebay: "Unused fishing gear. Perfect excuse for your wife whenenver you want to have great gay sex on a mountain. Brand new: now comes with a 10$ Walmart coupon to buy some fish on your way home."
Q. Who else was in the family plot?
-
Q. Who else was in the family plot?
A. The postman. The blue-eyed postman.
Q.Why did Aguirre pick Brokeback Mountain for his sheep to graze on?
-
Q. Why did Aguirre pick Brokeback Mountain for his sheep to graze on?
A. Because it makes a good title for a short story and movie.
Q. What did Monroe do with all those peanuts on the floor?
-
Q. What did Monroe do with all those peanuts on the floor?
A. he wanted to try something different, because he were sick of taking pills
Q. What did Monroe say when he saw Ennis and Jack kissing?
-
(Monroe saw them kissing? :o Now we're really far out there, but that's ok :laugh:)
Q. What did Monroe say when he saw Ennis and Jack kissing?
A. He took out his lil rainbow flag and asked about a threesome.
(Poor Alma)
Q. Who is Steve?
-
Q. Who is Steve?
A. Aquierre's secret lover.
Q. Why is Jenny's nose running?
-
Q. Why is Jenny's nose running?
A. Because standing still wasn't an option.
Q. What was Alma knitting?
-
Q. What was Alma knitting?
A. A fishing net for Ennis since he didn't seem to use the fishing line.
Q. How were the Chilean sheep brought from Chile up on Brokeback?
-
Q. How were the Chilean sheep brought from Chile up on Brokeback?
A. By mule. They're easier to pack than soup.
Q. Why did Ennis go after the bikers at the fireworks celebration?
-
Q. Why did Ennis go after the bikers at the fireworks celebration?
A. Because " bikers don´t look right"
Q. why did Alma never dye her hair?
-
Q. why did Alma never dye her hair
A. Oh but she did! That's the blondest they could get it!
Q. Why didn't the girls want a push on the swings?
-
Q. Why didn't the girls want a push on the swings?
A. 'Cuz Ennis pushes too hard.
Q. When Alma said "supper's on the stove", what was it?
-
Q. When Alma said "supper's on the stove", what was it?
A. Broken dreams in a sauce of desillusion and disappointment.
Q. Why did OMT spit in the cup?
-
Q. When Alma said "supper's on the stove", what was it?
A. Broken dreams in a sauce of desillusion and disappointment.
Awww.
Q. Why did OMT spit in the cup?
A. Because Ma Twist didn't like it when he spat on the floor.
Q. Where did Ma Twist buy those cherries anyway?
-
Q. Where did Ma Twist buy those cherries anyway?
A. Buy? You think she was so lavish to buy cherries? No way. Ma Twist had a cherry tree in her backyard. The bad thing about it, however, was that is was the cherry tree version of Charlie Brown's Christmas tree. Only one branch, only one cherry.
Q. Which movie star was on the poster in Jack's room?
-
Q. Which movie star was on the poster in Jack's room?
A. This feller: (http://www.movieposter.com/posters/archive/main/35/MPW-17568)
Q. What do they serve up in Dubois?
-
Q. Which movie star was on the poster in Jack's room?
A. Heath..... :'(
Q. How come Ma Twis kept a paper bag ready to use on the kitchen counter?
-
Great minds, Paul
exactly 30 seconds between postings
-
Q. How come Ma Twis kept a paper bag ready to use on the kitchen counter?
A. she were out of plastic bags
Q. How come Ma Twist didn´t go and live with Ennis in his trailer?
-
Q. How come Ma Twist didn´t go and live with Ennis in his trailer?
A. Because OMT is too damned much fun!
Q. Why was Monroe catering Jr.'s wedding?
-
Q. Why was Monroe catering Jr.'s wedding?
A. Would have been odd if Junior was catering Monroe's wedding, wouldn't it?
Q. why did Aguirre keep that hideous lamp on his desk?
-
Q. why did Aguirre keep that hideous lamp on his desk?
A. 'Cuz when he kept it under his desk, he couldn't see so well.
Q. Did Aguirre shoot that jackalope on the wall?
-
Q. Did Aguirre shoot that jackalope on the wall?
A. No. His mom gave it to him for his 11th birthday.
Q. Why do deuces have scrawny asses?
-
Q. Why do deuces have scrawny asses?
A. Because if they had fat asses, they'd make Aguirre feel too selfconscious
Q. What did Lureen think of Randall?
-
Q. What did Lureen think of Randall
A. She's pissed that he doesn't ask her to dance when Jack asks LaShawn.
Q. How can Randall stand LaShawn's constant talking?
-
Q. How can Randall stand LaShawn's constant talking?
A. wait a moment, I will go and ask my next door neighbours
Q. How can Jack stand Randall personality?
-
Q. How can Jack stand Randall personality?
A. You dont have to talk durin "fishing trips"
Q. What happened to Randall after Jack´s death?
-
Q. What happened to Randall after Jack´s death?
A. He had to spend every damn weekend listening to LaShawn.
Q. Why is Bobby left handed?
-
Q. Why is Bobby left handed?
A. His right hand was much smaller than his left. He was born like that.
Q. Did Ennis' folks really just stop at Ennis?
-
Q. Did Ennis' folks really just stop at Ennis?
A. Yes, his name was just Ennis. When Jack asked him, he panicked, and read "del Mar's taco stand" off a bumper sticker on Aguirre's car.
Q. What did the Jack's truck do to deserve getting kicked?
-
Q. What did the Jack's truck do to deserve getting kicked?
A. It refused to look like a Cadillac so Jack could show off with it.
Q. What was the real reason why Alma wanted to move to town?
-
Q. What was the real reason why Alma wanted to move to town?
A. Because the Chippendale's were giving a performance in Riverton at least twice a year.
Q. Why did OMT know where Brokeback Mountain is, but Linda Higgins didn't?
-
Q. Why did OMT know where Brokeback Mountain is, but Linda Higgins didn't
A. Cuz when OMT was 19, he was herding sheep on Brokeback with a guy named Dennis. Them was good friends....
Q. Why do women powder their nose right before they go home and go to bed?
-
Q. Why do women powder their nose right before they go home and go to bed?
A. To give the men time to plan their fishing trips.
Q. How did Ennis get the broken nose that healed crooked?
-
Q. Why do women powder their nose right before they go home and go to bed?
A. He got it when he was kicked in the face, castratin' a calf.
Q. Is that 'helfire and brimstone" crowd fun at parites?
-
Q. Is that 'helfire and brimstone" crowd fun at parites?
A. Hell yeah!
Q. What did Alma think about Jack´s looks?
-
Q. What did Alma think about Jack´s looks?
A. She didn't like the fact that they were mostly at Ennis.
Q. Why didn't Jack drown in all that clear blue sky?
-
Q. Why didn't Jack drown in all that clear blue sky?
A. He knew how to sky dive.
Q. Why did Monroe use an electric knife?
-
Q. Why did Monroe use an electric knife?
A. It was a gift from Junior, who knew Monroe wasn't good with electric equipment, cause "if you can't stand it, you got to fix it"
Q. Did Junior's fiancee really love her?
-
Q. Did Junior's fiancee really love her?
A. Actually, no. Curt loved only himself, but it was nice to marry into a grocery store! He figured he could cut expenses that way, and get free beer and spinach. Curt loved beer and spinach.
Q. Why didn't the bear attack and eat Ennis and the mules?
-
Q. Why didn't the bear attack and eat Ennis and the mules?
A. Because bears only eat soup.
Q. What does elk taste like?
-
Q. What does elk taste like?
A. Kinda spinach-y.
Q. What would have happened had Game and Fish found out about the elk?
-
Q. What would have happened had Game and Fish found out about the elk?
A. They would have had to give it to them for the yearly Elks picnic.
Q. Why would Bobby have had to eat that food for the next three weeks?
-
Q. Why would Bobby have had to eat that food for the next three weeks?
A. Cos noone else in the family liked turkey, he always had to eat it all by himself
Q. Why didn't Monroe do his part of the work, and cleared the table after T-giving meal?
-
Q. Why didn't Monroe do his part of the work, and cleared the table after T-giving meal?
A. Cause his ass was glued to his chair. Alma had learned certain things from her previous marriage.
Q. Why did Jack play the harmonica instead of another instrument?
-
Q. Why did Jack play the harmonica instead of another instrument?
A. Because the harmonica was the only instrument that wouldn't break when he got thrown from a filly that couldn't throw him.
Q. Why did Alma tie a note to the end of the fishing line?
-
Q. Why did Jack play the harmonica instead of another instrument?
A. it was a tuff decision between the harmonica and the harp, when you look at it afterwards you defently feel it was a mistake with the harmonica.
Q. why didn´t ennis and jack drink tea on BBM?
-
Q. Why did Alma tie a note to the end of the fishing line?
A. Because it was too hard to tie it to his dick
Q. How come Lureen didn´t divorce Jack?
-
Q. why didn´t ennis and jack drink tea on BBM?
A. Huh? Teeee? Huh?
-
A. Because it was too hard to tie it to his dick
:o :laugh: :laugh:
-
Q. How come Lureen didn´t divorce Jack?
A. She needed him as a beard, so noone would suspect her relationship with LaShawn. (in her old age Lureen became deaf, which made life considerably easier for her)
Q. Why did Fayette marry LD?
-
Q. Why did Fayette marry LD?
A. Because he was the most romantic man in Texas.
Why didn't Ennis like to sing?
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis like to sing?
A. Once, when he was but nine years old, his pa took him to see a dead singer in a ditch. Since then, Ennis has hidden his beautiful tenor voice, and only singing in his closet and to Jack.
Q. Who was the trucker that Ennis hitched a ride to Signal with?
-
Q. Who was the trucker that Ennis hitched a ride to Signal with?
A. His dad's cousin who had promised Ennis's dad to make sure no inappropriate singing took place.
Q. Why was Aguirre such an asshole?
-
A. His dad's cousin who had promised Ennis's dad to make sure no inappropriate singing took place.
(let´s hope they didn´t do a duett then ;D)
Q. Why was Aguirre such an asshole?
A. "Aguirre" was simply an alias. His real name was Rich. After Earl´s death, he turned bitter and took it out on everyone he met. So it was all due to a broken heart. Next time you watch the movie, check for Aguirre´s wrist tattoo that reads "Earl forever".
Q. Why didn´t Jack and Ennis ever go someplace warm?
-
Q. Why didn´t Jack and Ennis ever go someplace warm?
A. Their parkas were made for cold weather, now warm. In a warm place they would have been too sweaty.
Q. What kind of fish is there in Lake Kemp?
-
(let´s hope they didn´t do a duett then ;D)
At least not in this car
(http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm156/bbmuppslukad/postade%20bilder/SDC11083Duettbild2.jpg)
Volvo Duett
-
LOL Sonja!!!
Q. What kind of fish is there in Lake Kemp?
A. The fishy kind
Q. Did Ennis ever think of growing a mustache?
-
Q. Did Ennis ever think of growing a mustache?
A. Yes, but he thought better of it when he saw Jack's.
Q. Why did Ennis smoke cigarettes and drink beer while waiting for Jack?
-
Q. Why didn´t Jack and Ennis ever go someplace warm?
A. 'cause the two of them were hot enough on their own!
Q. Why did Monroe let the girls watch ice dancing?
-
Q. Why did Monroe let the girls watch ice dancing?
A. Coz he was tired of entertaining them with bottle juggling and somersaults all the time.
Q. Why did Ennis smoke cigarettes and drink beer while waiting for Jack?
-
Q. Why did Ennis smoke cigarettes and drink beer while waiting for Jack?
A. Because he was out of Havanas and Dubonnet.
Q. Who taught Jack to play the harmonica?
-
Q. Who taught Jack to play the harmonica?
A. Ha! Monika!
Q. Why did Monika teach Jack to play the harmonica? Wan't that waste of time, considering the outcome?
(sorry Monika, I couldn't help myself, hope you don't mind :-*)
-
Q. Why did Monika teach Jack to play the harmonica? Wan't that waste of time, considering the outcome?
A. You should have heard him before he took Monika's lessons!!
Q. Why was Ennis afraid he would electrocute himself if he took the power company job?
-
Q. Why was Ennis afraid he would electrocute himself if he took the power company job?
A. He heard that all the workers over there were live wires.
Q. Why did Jack think Ennis's truck wouldn't make it to Texas?
-
Q. Why did Jack think Ennis's truck wouldn't make it to Texas?
A. Because it drank coffee
Q. Why did the puptent smell like catpiss?
-
Q. Why did the puptent smell like catpiss?
A. Jack had a new perfume
Q. Why didn´t Ennis dislike Jacks new perfume?
-
Q. Why didn´t Ennis dislike Jacks new perfume?
A. He was used to baby diapers, and the smell is similar.
Q. Why did Ennis have to hide the shirts he took, from Ole Man Twist?
-
Q. Why did Ennis have to hide the shirts he took, from Ole Man Twist?
A. Because Ole Man Twist is a paranoid laundrophile. He washes absolutely everything he can get his hands on.
Q. What would Ennis say to Jack if they watched Brokeback Mountain together?
-
Q. What would Ennis say to Jack if they watched Brokeback Mountain together?
A. "Tent still don't look right."
Q. Why did Ennis shoot an elk, when he didn't allow Jack to shoot a sheep?
-
Q. Why did Ennis shoot an elk, when he didn't allow Jack to shoot a sheep?
A. Because you could eat the sheep, but cant eat no elk.
Q. Why did Randall ask jack to go fishing?
-
Q. Why did Randall ask jack to go fishing?
A. He wanted to bring a trout home to LaShawn.
Q. What would have happened if Ennis and Randall had herded sheep together up on Brokeback?
-
Q. What would have happened if Ennis and Randall had herded sheep together up on Brokeback?
A. Actual fishing.
Q. Why wasn't Jack "rolling his own"?
-
Q. Why wasn't Jack "rolling his own"?
A. Because he could get Ennis to do it. ;D
Q. Whatever happened with Kurt?
-
Q. Whatever happened with Kurt?
A. He got tired of working at the oil field, and applied for a job at the power company where he immediately got electrocuted, leaving Junior with 5 little asthmatic children and no money, why she took Ennis in as a baby sitter while she got herself a job up on Swill Swallow Mountain as a sheep herderess with a woman by the name of Jackie, who had dark eyes and blue hair and after a couple of weeks on the mountain they considerably deepened their friendship during a cold ass night in the tent after shooting a Basque that got scared by a sheep while he was looking for his lost bean cans scattered by an elk, and no milk or powdered spuds in the world could make up for the loss of a Chilean bear that noone ever found albeit searching the mountain with binoculars before the snow came, while the hippies camping on the mountain all used their shirts to wipe off the blood that was shed when they cut themselves with the potato peeling knife because they weren't paying attention to what they were doing while a man named Aguirre was showing off his nudity while jumping in the river, and drowned.
That's what happened with Kurt.
Any other questions about him? ;D
Q. Who invited LaShawn to this thread?
-
Q. Whatever happened with Kurt?
A. He got tired of working at the oil field, and applied for a job at the power company where he immediately got electrocuted, leaving Junior with 5 little asthmatic children and no money, why she took Ennis in as a baby sitter while she got herself a job up on Swill Swallow Mountain as a sheep herderess with a woman by the name of Jackie, who had dark eyes and blue hair and after a couple of weeks on the mountain they considerably deepened their friendship during a cold ass night in the tent after shooting a Basque that got scared by a sheep while he was looking for his lost bean cans scattered by an elk, and no milk or powdered spuds in the world could make up for the loss of a Chilean bear that noone ever found albeit searching the mountain with binoculars before the snow came, while the hippies camping on the mountain all used their shirts to wipe off the blood that was shed when they cut themselves with the potato peeling knife because they weren't paying attention to what they were doing while a man named Aguirre was showing off his nudity while jumping in the river, and drowned.
That's what happened with Kurt.
Any other questions about him? ;D
:laugh: :laugh:
Q. Who invited LaShawn to this thread?
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
-
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Loved that...................
A. Cappa Phi, because she got booted from Tri Delt, and they recommended Bettermost, Wrong Answer game.
Q. Where did those Texas rednecks get their idea about Jack's trying to ride the bulls.
-
Q. Where did those Texas rednecks get their idea about Jack's trying to ride the bulls.
A. From LaShawn - that lively gal gets around!
Q. Why was Jack able to drive the tractor with no hands?
-
Q. Why was Jack able to drive the tractor with no hands?
A. He had tied his reins to the wheel.
Q. Why on earth did Alma want to move to the laundromat apartment, when moving is such a major strain??
(i'm in the middle of an extremely strenous and exhausting move, can you tell??)
-
Q. Why on earth did Alma want to move to the laundromat apartment, when moving is such a major strain??
A. She caught the same compulsive laundering virus as Old Man Twist had (it was going around Wyoming) and wanted to steal downstairs and launder in the middle of the night.
(i'm in the middle of an extremely strenous and exhausting move, can you tell??)
Yes, sorry to hear that, friend!
Q. Why was the scene where Jack and Ennis rescued the drowning hippies deleted?
-
Q. Why was the scene where Jack and Ennis rescued the drowning hippies deleted.
A. Because they were concerned about the bad influence it could have on the audience, they might all want to become hippies and smoke pot in a pink Volkswagen painted with flowers. Highly immoral.
Q. Why was the ranch lonesome?
-
Q. Why was the ranch lonesome?
A. It was gay, and the nearest other ranch around was hetero.
Q. Where did Aguirre get that watch he threw to Ennis for herding?
-
Q. Where did Aguirre get that watch he threw to Ennis for herding?
A.(http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f322/buffymon/KinderEgg.jpg)
Q. How did Lightning Flat receive its name?
-
Q. How did Lightning Flat receive its name?
(http://www.wyomingtalesandtrails.com/lightningflathouse.jpg)
A. That place is so electrifying!
Q. How did Childress get its name?
-
Q. How did Childress get its name?
A. Someone came to this deserted place, in middle of nowhere, and suddenly there came a chill from the hill above. The man shivered and the womens dress raised. She said, here we will stay, and the man said with his crooked smile lets call it Chilllllldressss.......
Q. How did Riverton get its name?
-
Q. How did Riverton get its name?
A. Each summer it gets so hot, a ton of people go swimming in the river.
Q. What does "L.D." stand for?
-
Q. What does "L.D." stand for?
A. "Load o' Dirt", not "little darlin'" LOL
What does Aguirre do for fun on Valentine's Day?
-
Q. What does Aguirre do for fun on Valentine's Day?
A. Gets out that big-ass pair a binoculars, of course!
Q. What did Monroe get Alma for Valentine's Day?
-
Q. What did Monroe get Alma for Valentine's Day?
A. a necklace with a fishing gear symbol ;D
Q. What did Alma say to Ennis when they met on juniors wedding?
-
Q. What did Alma say to Ennis when they met on juniors wedding?
A. Did you hear that Curt liked to fish too? Maybe you and Jack can take
him along with you!
Q. Why did Ennis and Jack drink so much whiskey?
-
Q. Why did Ennis and Jack drink so much whiskey?
A. Because Ennis said they would get beaver fever drinking the water.
Q. What secrets did Jack's dad keep to himself?
-
Q. What secrets did Jack's dad keep to himself?
A. How to ride the bulls and not mess up your hair (OMT had hair in them days).
Q. Whatever happened to K.E.?
-
Q. Whatever happened to K.E.?
A. He moved to New York City:
(http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z196/mariez65/cowboy.jpg)
Q. Why is it so hard to sleep with the sheep?
-
Q. Why is it so hard to sleep with the sheep?
A. Cause those damned things move around in bed all night, don't allow you any peace and quiet at all.
Q. Why does Cassie hit on Ennis?
-
Q. Why is it so hard to sleep with the sheep?
A. (http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f322/buffymon/black-sheep.jpg)
-
LOL Monika!!!!!
He seems to be put to sleep all right!! ;D
-
Q. Why does Cassie hit on Ennis?
A. Because she is a fag hag
Q. What is Alma´s favorite color and why?
-
Q. What is Alma´s favorite color and why?
A. Black - it reminds her of her 'emotional' phase at high school.
Q. What would L.D do if Lureen didn't have that car home by midnight?
-
Q. What would L.D do if Lureen didn't have that car home by midnight?
A. Make her drive the tractor to church on Sunday.
Q. Why did Jack and Ennis always peel the labels from the beer bottles.
-
Q. Why did Jack and Ennis always peel the labels from the beer bottles.
A. To paste them in their scrapbooks to remember the evening!! (Alma Jr. also like to peel!)
Q. Why didn't Old Man Twist tell Jack his secrets from his bull-riding days?
-
Q. Why didn't Old Man Twist tell Jack his secrets from his bull-riding days?
A. Let's just say them bulls weren't the only piece a ass he was riding back then.
Q. What was Ennis' regular order at the Knife & Fork?
-
Q. What was Ennis' regular order at the Knife & Fork?
A. Meat and two veg.
Q. What do Texans drink, anyway?
-
Q. What do Texans drink, anyway?
A. They like sun tea, with a little Southern Comfort.
Q. What church did the Newsome's go to.
-
Q. What church did the Newsome's go to.
A. The Church of the Lonely Shepherd.
Q. What did Bobby want to be when he grew up?
-
Q. What did Bobby want to be when he grew up?
A. An interior decorator, so he could change all the bad taste in his moms house.
Q. Why was L.D. called a stud duck?
-
Q. Why was L.D. called a stud duck?
A. because he waddled when he walked.
Q. What did Aguirre have against ranch stiffs?
-
Q. What did Aguirre have against ranch stiffs?
A. Nothing. He liked when they were stiff.
Q. Who did Fayette's hair?
-
Q. Who did Fayette's hair?
A. Randall of course.
Q. What if Ennis had been able to finish high school?
-
Q. What if Ennis had been able to finish high school?
A. He would have said "My folks were methodists" instead.
Q. Why was Bobby lefthanded?
-
Because he wasn't known for his strong right, hook.
-
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You forgot the next question. ;)
-
Q. Why was it too early in the summer to be sick of beans?
-
Q. Why was it too early in the summer to be sick of beans
A. Coz the bean growing season hadn't started yet.
Q. Why was Ennis supposed to get the groceries on Fridays?
-
Q. Why was Ennis supposed to get the groceries on Fridays?
A. they were out of womens underwear so Ennis decided to try something new
Q. Why did Lureen enjoy the calculator so much?
-
Q. Why did Lureen enjoy the calculator so much?
A. 'Cuz she was good at pushing (peoples') buttons.
Whatever happened to Troy?
-
Q. Whatever happened to Troy?
A. After Alma jr. broke up with him, he took off, joined the circus and eventually shacked up with a blue-haired clown named Morris.
Q. Why did Ennis drive around with bales of hay in the back of his truck?
-
Q. Why did Ennis drive around with bales of hay in the back of his truck?
A. He wanted to be prepared in case Jack would show up surprisingly again. No faster can a bed be made: unzip the hay bales, unzip your fly "And here we - go!"
Q. What did the Chilean sheepherders say?
-
Q. What did the Chilean sheepherders say?
A. "Let's blow this clam joint and find some real arepas."
Q. Why were the sheep branded with paint anyway?
-
Q. Why were the sheep branded with paint anyway?
A. Because sheep fur is way better to work with than canvas.
Q. What was Ennis hammerin' before Jack ordered him into the tent?
-
Q. What was Ennis hammerin' before Jack ordered him into the tent?
A He was hammering plans on what to do when Jack invited him into the tent.
Q Why did LaShawn suffer from a bad case of verbal diarrhea?
-
Q. Why did LaShawn suffer from a bad case of verbal diarrhea?
A Because Randall didn't want to kiss her to shut her up.
Q. Why was the horse named Cigar Butt?
-
Q. Why was the horse named Cigar Butt?
A. Coz "Ashtray" for a name sounds even worse.
Q. Why didn't Ennis want no cherry cake?
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis want no cherry cake?
A. He only likes Jack's mountain cakes made with canned beans.
Q. Why is Ennis better at shooting, than Jack?
-
.
Q. Why is Ennis better at shooting, than Jack?
A. Cause Ennis gets a kick out of getting guns to go off, while Jack himself prefers just to relax and simply enjoy the event.
Q. Why was the pup tent white?
-
Q. Why was the pup tent white?
A. Coz that's what cat piss does to a pup tent.
Q. Why don't tent look right?
-
Q. Why don't tent look right?
A: Tent don't look right unless Jack and Ennis are in it!!
Q. Why didn't Jack and Ennis call each other?
A:
(For the right answer, go here (http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php/topic,11430.0.html)!!
-
Q. Why didn't Jack and Ennis call each other?
A: Because Jack couldn't get a word in edgewise once Lureen and LaShawn started calling each other!!
Q. Why did Ma Twist have cherry cake?
-
Q. Why did Ma Twist have cherry cake?
A. Coz OMT refused to eat something that colourful and sweet.
Q. What made the del Mars name their firstborn Alma Jr?
-
Q. What made the del Mars name their firstborn Alma Jr?
A. Coz she was a girl, and Ennis Jr. would be a boy's name.
Q. Who decorated Lureen Twist's home?
-
Q. Who decorated Lureen Twist's home?
A. Bobby had a friend in pre-school who dabbled a little in interior decorating.
Q. Why did Jenny sing on Junior's wedding?
-
Q. Why did Jenny sing on Junior's wedding?
A. it should have been jack and Ennis doing a duet. instead Ennis rented a karaoke machine and jenny found her true calling
-
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Sophia, you forgot the next question!
;)
-
Q. Why did Jenny sing on Junior's wedding?
A. it should have been jack and Ennis doing a duet. instead Ennis rented a karaoke machine and jenny found her true calling
finally hear its, thanks for being so patient, sometimes these tuff, hard games are very difficult. ;D
Q. How can Ennis tell Jack he smells like cow shit? ( sometimes )
-
Q. How can Ennis tell Jack he smells like cow shit? ( sometimes )
A. He needs to say its sheep shit. (all the time)
Q. Why do all sheep stink so bad.?
-
Q. Why do all sheep stink so bad.?
A. there isnt' enough hot water in the mountains so they can all have a bath.
Q Why wasn't the Basque in the Basque Provinces in Spain?
-
Q Why wasn't the Basque in the Basque Provinces in Spain?
A. Because he wanted to basque in the sun on Brokeback Mountain.
Q. Why weren't the Chilean sheepherders in Chile?
-
Q. Why weren't the Chilean sheepherders in Chile?
A. Because they wanted to chill out in the sun on Brokeback Mountain.
Q Why weren't Aguirre locked up somewhere safe, and the key thrown away?
-
Q Why weren't Aguirre locked up somewhere safe, and the key thrown away?
A. because he is our favorite caracter, and we love him!
Q. Why did Jake G. decide to play Jack Twist?
-
Q. Why did Jake G. decide to play Jack Twist?
A. Because the part of Aguirre was already taken.
Q. Does Cassie have a tattoo? What does it say?
-
Q. Does Cassie have a tattoo? What does it say?
A. John Albert William Mom Eric Ennis Carl
Q. What does Carl do for a living?
-
Q. What does Carl do for a living?
A. He´s Riverton´s first porn star. And probably the last.
Q. What is the real story about what happened to Ennis´s folks?
-
Q. What is the real story about what happened to Ennis´s folks?
A. They all went to Denver.
Q. Why didn't Aguirre attend Ennis' wedding?
-
Q. Why didn't Aguirre attend Ennis' wedding?
A. He was busy polishing his binoculars for next year's season.
Q. What kind of menu did the Knife and Fork offer?
-
Q. What kind of menu did the Knife and Fork offer?
A. Coffee only, apparently
Q. What did Ennis's and Jack's horses think of one another?
-
Q. What did Ennis's and Jack's horses think of one another?
A. They each thought the other one looked rather queer.
Q. How long did it take for Randall and Jack to untangle their mustaches?
-
Q. How long did it take for Randall and Jack to untangle their mustaches
A. Not long enough according to Randall
Q. How many words a day did Randall manage to get in at home?
-
Q. How many words a day did Randall manage to get in at home?
A. None. That's why he still hadn't come out to LaShawn.
Q. How come the Hippies ending up in the Wyoming wilderness?
-
Q. How come the Hippies ending up in the Wyoming wilderness?
A. They had heard the conditions there were ideal for growing weed, and wanted to check it out.
Q. Why is it too early in the summer to be tired of soup?
-
Q. Why is it too early in the summer to be tired of soup?
A. Soup is hard to pack.
Q. Why is it too early in the summer to be tired of beans?
-
Q. Why is it too early in the summer to be tired of beans?
A. Cause towards the end of July the entire state of Wyoming celebrates "Happy Beans Day". The only thing being served on this day is beans. Fried beans, pickled beans, stuffed beans, cooked beans and bean soup.
Q. What would Ennis have done if he had won the lottery?
-
Q. What would Ennis have done if he had won the lottery?
A. He'd have bought an entire box of bean cans! (LOL Monica at the stuffed beans! I'd like to see one of those! ;D)
Q. Why didn't Ennis win the lottery?
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis win the lottery?
A. Because he was too stingy to buy a ticket.
Q. How did Alma know that Junior's nose needed wiping?
-
Q. How did Alma know that Junior's nose needed wiping?
A. Because Alma was a psychic.
Q. How did Alma and Ennis meet?
-
Q. How did Alma and Ennis meet?
A. At Starbuck's.
Q. How did Ma and Pa Twist meet?
-
Q. How did Ma and Pa Twist meet?
A. On Santa Monica Beach
Q. What was the very first thing Ennis said to Alma?
-
Q. What was the very first thing Ennis said to Alma?
A. "I like your name. And I'll have another." (Beers LOL)
Q. Where did Cassie shop?
-
Good one Paul ;D
Q. Where did Cassie shop?
A. At Toys R Us
Q. What kind of car did Cassie drive?
-
Q. What kind of car did Cassie drive?
A. The kind without hay bales in the truck bed.
Q. Where were Cassie and Karl heading when they left?
-
Q. Where were Cassie and Karl heading when they left?
A. Vegas. Because, girls really do fall in love with fun.
Q. How did LD and Fayette meet?
-
Q. How did LD and Fayette meet?
A. At an evening class, "How to reinforce your natural malevolence" Fayette quit after a few lessons, but LD carried on!!
Q. How did Randall and LaShawn meet?
-
Q. How did Randall and LaShawn meet?
A. On the cheerleading team in college.
Q. What can be fixed with chewin' gum and balin' wire?
-
Q. What can be fixed with chewin' gum and balin' wire?
A. Ennis could have fixed the transmission on the truck, and been able to graduate from high school
Q. Why do women powder their nose before they go home and go to bed?
-
Q. Why do women powder their nose before they go home and go to bed?
A. So they won't get woken up by the night light when he leans towards that side of the room,
if the light hits it.
Q. How old would you be? If you didn't know how old your girlfriend/boyfriend was.(which ever fits)
-
Q. How old would you be? If you didn't know how old your girlfriend/boyfriend was.(which ever fits)
A. Too young to care... or too old to remember!
Q. What kind of toothpaste did Ennis and Jack use up on Brokeback?
-
Q. What kind of toothpaste did Ennis and Jack use up on Brokeback?
A. (http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm156/bbmuppslukad/postade%20bilder/toothpaste.gif) (don't blame me, I found it on PB! 8))
Q. Why did the bear spook the mules?
-
Q. Why did the bear spook the mules?
A. Because the bear loved soup, and he heard that the mules were carrying soup, and you know how hard it is to unpack.
Q. Why did Ennis take the neckerchief from Jack, instead of just allowing Jack to wash his face?
-
Q. Why did Ennis take the neckerchief from Jack, instead of just allowing Jack to wash his face?
A. He had heard about the swine flu, and was afraid to catch it from Jack.
Q. How did Aguirre use his binoculars in the winter?
-
Q. How did Aguirre use his binoculars in the winter?
A. AS DECORATION to his new outfit
Q. What did Jack son say to Ennis when they met?
-
Q. What did Jack son say to Ennis when they met?
A. "You'll be &*@#$ing my Dad for the next two weeks!"
What did Alma Jr. say when she met Jack?
-
Q. What did Alma Jr. say when she met Jack?
A. "Why the hell didn't you fish for god's sake, at least just once??!!??"
Q. If Jack could have done one thing in his life differently, what would it be?
-
Q. If Jack could have done one thing in his life differently, what would it be?
A. He would have gone to Canada to Mexico.
(I have no idea what he means by that)
Q. How many times did Randall and Jack go fishing?
-
Q. How many times did Randall and Jack go fishing?
A. Well they had to go a few times so they could chew enough gum to fix his pick-up.
Q. How many trips to the hills did Ennis have to take his pick-up carrying the horses?
-
Q. How many trips to the hills did Ennis have to take his pick-up carrying the horses?
A. Ennis carried the horses only as far as his pick up when he picked them up.
Q.Why did Jack actually love a little dog?
-
Q.Why did Jack actually love a little dog?
A. It's hard to put a big dog in your saddle bag.
Q. Where was Alma Junior's nose running to?
-
Q. Where was Alma Junior's nose running to?
A. It was all downhill.
Q. Was it disdain that had E&J looking down on the eagles?
-
Q.Was it disdain that had E&J looking down on the eagles?
A. No, they just both enjoyed to be on top.
Q. Where did Ennis´s parents spend their honeymoon?
-
Q. Where did Ennis´s parents spend their honeymoon?
A. They didn't have a honeymoon, Mr Del Mar was too busy gay bashing. >:( >:(
Q. Who's calling Aguirre in the trailer?
-
Q. Who's calling Aguirre in the trailer?
A. Elizabeth Taylor
Q. what would have been Ennis´s dream job?
-
Q. what would have been Ennis´s dream job
A. Fudge packer.
Q. Why did the cat piss on the tent?
-
Oh you´re bad!
Sonja Nasty!
:laugh:
-
Oh you´re bad!
Sonja Nasty!
:laugh:
8) 8)
:laugh: :laugh:
-
Q. Why did the cat piss on the tent?
A. It smelled too much like sheep which were very frustrating for him: every time he jumped a sheep, all he got was a mouthful of dirty wool.
Q. Why did was Jack such a lousy shot?
-
Q. Why did was Jack such a lousy shot?
A. Because every time he fired he said "Gun going off"
Q. Why was Ennis such a good shot?
-
Q. Why was Ennis such a good shot?
A. He figured someone had to show Jack how to shoot clean, so he practiced, over a hunnerd times...
Q. Why did Ennis skin the coyote?
-
Q. Why did Ennis skin the coyote?
A. He wanted to see what was under it.
Q. Why did Ennis tell Alma they were fishing buddies?
-
Q. Why did Ennis tell Alma they were fishing buddies?
A. He didn't want to say they were fishin foolin around buddies...
Q. Why didn't Jack want Ennis to get caught by The Fish and Game?
-
Q. Why didn't Jack want Ennis to get caught by The Fish and Game?
A. He didn't want to share Ennis with others, he wanted him all for himself!
Q. Why are soup boxes hard to pack?
-
Q. Why are soup boxes hard to pack?
A. because the Chilian sheepherder was allergic to everything squareish
Q. Why did Jack want a horse with a low startle point?
-
Q. Why did Jack want a horse with a low startle point?
A. Coz what's the point of a high startle point?
Q. Why were they out of spuds and powdered milk?
-
Q. Why were they out of spuds and powdered milk?
A. They used them up playing Truth of Dare.
Q. Why did Linda Higgins offer to get 100 Brokeback Mountain postcards for Ennis?
-
Q. Why did Linda Higgins offer to get 100 Brokeback Mountain postcards for Ennis?
A. Because she thought he looked like a millionaire
Q. What would Ennis have done if he had gotten 100 Brokeback Mountain postcards?
-
Q. What would Ennis have done if he had gotten 100 Brokeback Mountain postcards?
A. Use them for wallpapering his trailer.
Q. Why did Jim Schamus write that hippie scene?
-
Q. Why did Jim Schamus write that hippie scene?
A. Because he was high - obviously
Q. Why did they cut the hippie scene?
-
Q. Why did Jim Schamus write that hippie scene?
A. He was looking forward to doing research on the recreational medications of the era.
Q. Why did Mr Schamus delete that hippie scene?
-
LOL!!
Q. Why did Mr Schamus delete that hippie scene?
A. Because he was too successful in his research on recreational medications of the era...
Q, Why did LaShawn fail to notice that her husband had the hots for young Mr. Twist.
-
Q, Why did LaShawn fail to notice that her husband had the hots for young Mr. Twist.
A. She thought Jack would provide him with much needed chewing gum and bailing wire.
Q. Why couldn't Ennis eat no cake?
-
Q. Why couldn't Ennis eat no cake?
A. Cause there ain't no cake as good as Jack's cakes, and he weren't around to share 'em no more!
Q. Why did no one eat Jack's Brokeback pan cakes?
-
Q. Why did no one eat Jack's Brokeback pan cakes?
A. 'Cuz they were made with powdered milk and spuds.
Q. Why didn't they shoot a sheep?
-
Q. Why didn't they shoot a sheep?
A. Because they were too busy being baaaaaaarmy in love.
Q. What was Aguirre secretly thinking when he was watching the boys fooling around?
-
Q. What was Aguirre secretly thinking when he was watching the boys fooling around?
A. "Sex don´t look right"
Q. Why didn´t Lureen´s father like Jack?
-
Q. What was Aguirre secretly thinking when he was watching the boys fooling around?
A. "Sex don´t look right"
Q. Why didn´t Lureen´s father like Jack?
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Monika!!!!!
-
Q. Why didn´t Lureen´s father like Jack?
A. Coz it was his fault Lureen wasn't home with the car by midnight.
Q. Why didn't Alma like the lonesome ranch?
-
Q. Why didn't Alma like the lonesome ranch?
A. Of course she did, its fun to sit on the porch and wait for your husband to come home.
Q. Why didn´t Ennis like the lonesome ranch?
-
Q. Why didn´t Ennis like the lonesome ranch?
A. 'Cuz the lonesome dump is loaded with mosquitoes! (I've been there LOL)
Q. Why didn't Ennis need an instruction manual?
-
A. 'Cuz the lonesome dump is loaded with mosquitoes! (I've been there LOL)
Ahem..... as far as I remember you stayed in the car, Paul..... because of said mosquitoes! ;D
-
Ahem..... as far as I remember you stayed in the car, Paul..... because of said mosquitoes! ;D
Malaria's a good reason...
-
Malaria's a good reason...
I hear herring is a good cure for that....
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis need an instruction manual?
A. Coz he was a natural when it came to riding.
Q. Why didn't Ennis want Jack to see to his bear wound?
-
I hear herring is a good cure for that....
i fear herring would attract flying things...
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis want Jack to see to his bear wound?
A. Because he was so modest.
Q. What DO girls fall in love with?
-
i fear herring would attract flying things...
flyingfish?
-
Q. What DO girls fall in love with?
A. Well, not fun anyway -- maybe boring??
Q. Was Aguirre married? To whom?
-
Q. Was Aguirre married? To whom?
A. Aguirre was married to Lashawn, long before Randall. She was on the other end of the phone, "No, no, not on your f'ing life." Apparently, she was asking for a divorce at the time.
Q. Does Randall fish?
-
Q. Does Randall fish?
A. Only for men with moustaches.
Q. Why didn't Aguirre want to divorce LaShawn? Was he deaf?
-
Q. Why didn't Aguirre want to divorce LaShawn? Was he deaf?
A. For he loved a lively little gal.
Q. What was Alma knitting?
-
Q. What was Alma knitting?
A. She couldn't afford condoms, so she tried to knit one herself. Turned out she didn't need it. (maybe just as well)
Q. What were the bills they were behind with?
-
Q. What were the bills they were behind with?
A. The biggest bills they were behind were the sand hill crane bills.
Q. What made Ennis's trailer keep rockin'?
-
Q. What made Ennis's trailer keep rockin'?
A. Ennis practicing to become an Elvis impersonator
Q. What was Ennis´s dream job?
-
Q. What was Ennis´s dream job?
A. Coal-hauler on Jack's train...
What was Jack's dream job?
-
Q. What was Jack's dream job?
A. Professional singer and harmonica player.
Q. Why did the mare throw Jack?
-
Q. Why did the mare throw Jack?
A. Cause he smelled like cat piss or worse
Q. Why did Jack chose a horse with a low startle point?
-
Q. Why did Jack chose a horse with a low startle point?
A. obvious, he wanted impress Randell in a horse race
Q. Why didn't Jack and Ennis have stomach problem after all these beans?
-
Q. Why didn't Jack and Ennis have stomach problem after all these beans?
A. They did have them, but the horses were the ones that suffered most.
Q. Why didn't Ennis "eat soup?"
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis "eat soup?"
A. He lied. He did eat soup. And not only that, it was his secret craving. At night he used to sneak away in the dark to eat soup behind a tree so that Jack wouldn´t see him pouring it down straight from the can.
Q. What did Junior think of Monroe?
-
Q. What did Junior think of Monroe?
A. A man who says 'condiments' when he means 'ketchup' can't be trusted.
Q. How much salt did Ennis use per week, when he was 'tender'?
-
Q. How much salt did Ennis use per week, when he was 'tender'?
A. Just the right amount needed to make Jack sing this:
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZBUb0ElnNY[/youtube]
Q. Why did Ennis bring hay bales when he took Junior and Cassie to the bar?
-
Q. Why did Ennis bring hay bales when he took Junior and Cassie to the bar?
A. wanted to be the bars new interior decorater
Q. What would Ennis do right now?
-
Q. What would Ennis do right now?
A. Open the closet door and start singing, "We're Movin' on Up."
Q. Why did Jack break the rules?
-
Q. Why did Jack break the rules?
A. Because the cookies were too doughy.
Q. Why didn't the mules fight the bear?
-
Q. Why didn't the mules fight the bear?
A. They were afraid to spill the beans.
Q. What kind of supper was on the stove?
-
Q. What kind of supper was on the stove?
A. Jacks burned pancakes
Q. How was Jakes private room decorated?
-
Q. How was Jakes private room decorated?
A. ...with pictures of privates from rodeo country.
Q. What was Jack's favorite pickup?
-
Q. What was Jack's favorite pickup?
A. the one Ennis had helped him to fix.
Q. Why did Junior say that maybe was Ennis not the marrying kind?
-
Q. Why did Junior say that maybe was Ennis not the marrying kind?
A. Because he wasn't kind when he was married.
Q. Why did Jack's tractor say 'Verstile?'
-
Q. Why did Jack's tractor say 'Verstile?'
A. Coz it had a speech impairment. It meant to say versatile.
Q. Where is Jack's blue parka?
-
Q. Where is Jack's blue parka?
A. Fun-shy cause it's gun-shy, it's hanging around in the closet.
Q. Who made the Eagle black and blue?
-
Q. Who made the Eagle black and blue
A. the bikers beat it black and blue
Q. What was the supper that was on the stove?
-
Q. What was the supper that was on the stove?
A. It was the Last Supper, BJ (before Jack)!
Q. What does Jack miss the most?
-
Q. What does Jack miss the most?
A. He misses both elks and coyotes.
Q. What is Bobby eating at Thanksgiving?
-
Q. What is Bobby eating at Thanksgiving?
A. Bobby was eating turkey, etc. - it was LD who was eating crow.
Q. What held up Cassie's tube top?
-
Q. What held up Cassie's tube top
A. It was glued on
Q. What was Alma knitting the night of the church social?
-
Q. What was Alma knitting the night of the church social?
A. A condom.
Q. Why did Alma and the girls like fish?
-
Q. Why did Alma and the girls like fish?
A. Those knitted condoms allowed the girls to be conceived, so they had a natural affinity to little swimmers.
Q. Ennis pitched the hay out of the truck; who pitched Ennis out of the truck?
-
Q. Ennis pitched the hay out of the truck; who pitched Ennis out of the truck?
A. A ranch hand, and with Jack being a natural "catcher", he was waiting for Ennis. >:D
Q. Just how good was Jack with a can opener?
-
Q. Just how good was Jack with a can opener?
A. He was about as bad as he was at keeping secrets; he spilled the beans.
Q What did Karl have to say when he talked?
-
Q What did Karl have to say when he talked?
A.
Hello, hello, baby You called, I can’t hear a thing. I have got no service in the club, you say, say
Wha-Wha-What did you say, huh? You’re breaking up on me. Sorry, I cannot hear you, I’m kinda busy.
Q. If Ennis had been a rapper, what would his stage name have been?
-
Q. If Ennis had been a rapper, what would his stage name have been?
A. ElkKiller
Q. If Jack had been a rapper, what would his stage name have been?
-
Q. If Jack had been a rapper, what would his stage name have been?
A. TuShirt
Q. If Aguirre had been a rapper, what would his stage name have been?
-
Q. If Aguirre had been a rapper, what would his stage name have been?
A: Joey Charming
Q: What was the butcher thinking, when Ennis and Alma had the discussion in the supermarket about taking the girls?
-
Q: What was the butcher thinking, when Ennis and Alma had the discussion in the supermarket about taking the girls?
A. If you don´t want them, I can take them.
Q. What was Monroe´s grocery story called?
-
Q. What was Monroe´s grocery story called?
A. Groceries unlimited.
Q. Why didn't Alma go buy some fish herself, if she liked them so much?
-
Q. Why didn't Alma go buy some fish herself, if she liked them so much?
cause she rather spend her food money on shoes
Q. What one thing in the movie would Ang Lee want to change if he could?
-
Q. What one thing in the movie would Ang Lee want to change?
A. He wanted it to show Third Night In Tent (oh, how we wish!), but the budget was too tight.
Q. What was the Basque's name?
-
Q. What was the Basque's name?
A. Charles Edward III
Q. What would have happened in the Third night in tent scene?
-
Q. What would have happened during tent scene 3?
(hm...hur detaljerat ska svaret vara? >:D)
A. That's a private matter, between Jack and Ennis. 8)
Q. Why did the Basque have a British royal name?
-
Q. Why did the Basque have a British royal name?
A. His mother wanted a permanent reminder to him of Who He Is, so he wouldn't go blind from re-watching TNIT before his chance came up - he is 728th in line for succession.
Q. What could possibly be so special about soup boxes that makes them so hard to pack?
-
Q. What could possibly be so special about soup boxes that makes them so hard to pack?
A. They're dodecahedrons.
Q. Why didn't Ennis eat soup anyway?
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis eat soup anyway?
A. They were too hard to keep on his fork.
Q. Why was the Basque already out of potatoes so early in the season?
-
Q. Why was the Basque already out of potatoes so early in the season?
A. He had forgotten to buy them, distracted as he was, trying to understand what a dodecahedron is.
Q. What do the powdered milk boxes look like?
-
Q. What do the powdered milk boxes look like?
A. They're round. And baby Ennis modeled for the package:
(https://www.japantodoor.com/upfile/2007121712542414447.jpg)
Q. Why didn't all that elk meat attract flies?
(BTW, this is a dodecahedron. See why they're so hard to pack?)
(http://en.wikivisual.com/images/e/e0/Dodecahedron.jpg)
-
Q. Why didn't all that elk meat attract flies?
A. it did and Ennis ate them. The verdict? "Better ´n soup", says Ennis.
Q. Why did Jack shave outside of Aguirre´s trailer?
-
Q. Why did Jack shave outside of Aguirre´s trailer?
A. Coz Aguirre wouldn't allow him to shave inside the trailer.
Q. What kind of restaurant is the Knife and Fork?
-
Q. What kind of restaurant is the Knife and Fork?
A. A restaurant where spoons are banned.
Q. If Ennis and Jack would have had a special song, what song would it have been?
-
Q. If Ennis and Jack would have had a special song, what song would it have been?
A. [youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sj_9CiNkkn4&feature=av2n [/youtube]
Q. Who was calling Aguirre in the trailer?
-
Q. Who was calling Aguirre in the trailer?
A. Lady Gaga asking for fashion advice
Q. What did ma Twist think of Ennis´looks?
-
Q. What did ma Twist think of Ennis´looks?
A. She thought he needed a new hairdo
(http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm156/bbmuppslukad/postade%20bilder/funny-hairdo.jpg)
Q. Why was OMT so mean?
-
Q. Why was OMT so mean?
A. He was allergic to cherries.
Q. What did Bobby grow up to be?
-
Q. What did Bobby grow up to be?
A. Traumatized as he was by the way his home looked, he grew up to be an interior decorator.
Q. What was in Bobby's bowl at the T'giving dinner?
-
Q. What was in Bobby's bowl at the T'giving dinner?
A. Cream of Whupass.
Q. Who did Fayette's hair?
-
Q. Who did Fayette's hair?
A. The local prison guard.
Q. Why was Bobby so interested in football?
-
Q. Why was Bobby so interested in football?
A. He admired their eye makeup.
Q. How big was LD's ignorant ass?
-
Q. How big was LD's ignorant ass?
A. Big enough to weight him down so his thoughts couldn't fly.
Q. What did Fayette think about the T'giving ordeal?
-
Q. What did Fayette think about the T'giving ordeal?
A. Not much, given the amount of hairspray.
Q. How did Lureen cook that bigass turkey in only three hours?
-
Q. How did Lureen cook that bigass turkey in only three hours?
A. using hairspray and matches
Q. How did Jack propose to Lureen?
-
Q. How did Lureen cook that bigass turkey in only three hours?
A. She had a high speed oven.
Q. Who decorated Jack's and Lureens home?
-
Q. How did Jack propose to Lureen?
A. Slurring his words.
Q. Who decorated Jack's and Lureens home?
-
Q. Who decorated Jack's and Lureens home?
A. The editor of Nasty Homes and Gardens Magazine.
Q. Who decorated the Twist ranch?
-
Q. Who decorated the Twist ranch?
A. The abbott of the local franciscan monastery
Q. Why didnt' Ma Twist leave her husband?
-
Q. Why didn't' Ma Twist leave her husband?
A. cause he has an enormous ****
Q. What do Ma and Pa Twist do for fun?
-
Q. What do Ma and Pa Twist do for fun?
A. Go around the coffee pot, looking for OMT's handle.
Q. Where to Ma Twist's cherries come from?
-
Q. Where to Ma Twist's cherries come from?
A. Anton Chekhov.
Q. Who goes for Ma Twist's cupcakes?
-
Q. Who goes for Ma Twist's cupcakes?
A. The mail man
Q. why does Ennis smell Jack´s bloody shirt?
-
Q. why does Ennis smell Jack´s bloody shirt?
A. Because his bloody pants were in the laundry!
Q. Where do dodecahedron-packing Basques go for holiday?
-
Q. Where do dodecahedron-packing Basques go for holiday?
A. Trinity Square (a Providence neighborhood, and an internationally known repertory company here).
Q. When did little Bobby get his license?
-
Q. When did little Bobby get his license?
A. He got his license to kill when he was appointed agent 008.
Q. Why did they all smoke so much?
-
Q. Why did they all smoke so much?
A. ...didn't use enough lubricant.
Q. Who did they call to haul all their ashes?
-
Q. Who did they call to haul all their ashes?
A. Ennis: Who we gonna call?
Jack: Ghostbusters!
Q. how come the Twist ranch was painted white?
-
Q. how come the Twist ranch was painted white?
A. Cuz the Lightning Flat Homo Depot was out of chartreuse.
Q. Did Jack shop at Ikea?
-
Q. Did Jack shop at Ikea?
A. No he didn't. They don't accept Texan currency.
Q. Why didn't they eat herring on the mountain?
-
Q. Why didn't they eat herring on the mountain?
A. Cuz herring are real hard to pack.
Q. What's the best sauce for elk?
-
Q. What's the best sauce for elk?
A. A bechamelk sauce.
Q. What did Ennis do with the coyote he shot?
-
Q. What did Ennis do with the coyote he shot?
A. He made an apple pie.
Q. If bechamelk sauce is for elk, and bearnaise sauce is for bears, what do you use for beans?
-
Q. If bechamelk sauce is for elk, and bearnaise sauce is for bears, what do you use for beans?
A. Don't know. You'll have to ask Mr Bean.
Q. Who taught Ennis how to cook?
-
Q. Who taught Ennis how to cook?
A. Chef Boyardee.
(http://couponcdn.hunt4freebies.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Chef-Boyaredee.jpg)
Q. What did Jack use to remove the sheep's thorn?
-
Q. What did Jack use to remove the sheep's thorn?
A. The latest version of the Remove-A-Thorn-App.
Q. Why didn't the Chilean herders help untangle the sheep?
-
Q. Why didn't the Chilean herders help untangle the sheep?
A. They were too busy eating elk bechamelk and bear bearnaise.
Q. Why did Wyoming have so many foreign tourists in 1963? (Basques, Chileans)
-
Q. Why did Wyoming have so many foreign tourists in 1963? (Basques, Chileans)
A. They bought cheap charter trips with Wyoair. ("Wyoair - we fly everywhere. Just name a country and we'll be there.")
Q. Why did all the foreign tourists (Basques, Chileans) have to work their asses off when they were on a charter trip?
-
Q. Why did all the foreign tourists (Basques, Chileans) have to work their asses off when they were on a charter trip?
A. Cuz Wyoair raised the prices on their return trips. ("Wyoair--Cheap flights to Wyoming, you're in luck! Once you're here, then you're stuck.")
Q. Why aren't the Big Horn Mountains in Texas?
-
Q. Why aren't the Big Horn Mountains in Texas?
A. Coz that's where the Small and Middle Horn Mountains are. There's no room for any more Horn Mountains in Texas.
Q. How come Jack's blue parka had disappeared?
-
Q. How come Jack's blue parka had disappeared?
A. Cuz LD had borrowed it for a stud-duck hunting trip.
Q. What exactly is a pissant?
-
Q. What exactly is a pissant?
A. An ant that hasn't got proper toilet-training, and pees all over the anthill.
Q. Why didn't Monroe do his share of clearing the table after Thanksgiving dinner?
-
Q. Why didn't Monroe do his share of clearing the table after Thanksgiving dinner?
A. Everybody knows Monroe shocks.
Q. Is the sauce for the beans as good for the gander?
-
Q. Is the sauce for the beans as good for the gander?
A. No, that tastes worse than old man Twist´s spit
Q. Where was the bear that Ennis encountered heading?
-
Q. Where was the bear that Ennis encountered heading?
A. It was heading for the Annual Bear Convention of Wyoming. ('Bear in mind who you are, and meet others who do the same')
Q. Why did the dumbass mule take off and scatter all the food?
-
Q. Why did the dumbass mule take off and scatter all the food?
A. He was a dumbass buffet mule who thought he was supposed to...
Q. When did Ennis really stop thinking Jack was an ant on a tablecloth?
-
Q. When did Ennis really stop thinking Jack was an ant on a tablecloth?
A. When the picnic was over.
Q. Why didn't Lureen suspect something was up when Jack insisted on wearing the blue parka.
-
Q. Why didn't Lureen suspect something was up when Jack insisted on wearing the blue parka.
A. Cause blue is for boys
Q. Where was that parka anyway?
-
Q. Where was that parka anyway?
A. The parka was on lova's lane. (OK, so maybe you have to be from Boston to get the accent.)
Q. Why did Alma want to move to town?
-
Q. Why did Alma want to move to town?
A. She wanted to finally get that accent right!
Q. What did Junior need the crayons for?
-
Q. What did Junior need the crayons for?
A.To paint a smile on her father´s face
Q. What would be the first thing Ennis would google?
-
Q. What would be the first thing Ennis would google
A. "What's the Pentocost?"
Q. What's the first thing Jack would google?
-
Q. What's the first thing Jack would google?
A. "Rodeo for Dummies"
Q. What's the first thing Alma would google?
-
Q. What's the first thing Alma would google?
A. How to get those funny fishing stains out of blue jeans.
Q. What's the first thing Lureen would google?
-
Q. What's the first thing Lureen would google?
A. Is peroxide bad for you?
Q. What's the first thing Lashawn would google?
-
Q. What's the first thing Lashawn would google?
A. "ten signs your man is cheating and oh by the way I think this google thing is way overated and when I was in high school we did just fine without it so that´s that and by the way can I buy hair products on this thing??"
Q. what would Old Man Twist google?
-
Q. what would Old Man Twist google?
A. What's 'paternal love'?
Q. What would Ma Twist google?
-
A. "ten signs your man is cheating and oh by the way I think this google thing is way overated and when I was in high school we did just fine without it so that´s that and by the way can I buy hair products on this thing??
:laugh: :laugh:
-
Q. what would Old Man Twist google?
A. How to enter the national spitting contest.
Q. What would Ma Twist google?
-
Q. What would Ma Twist google?
A. How do committ the perfect murder
Q. What would have happened if Alma and Lureen would have met?
-
Q. What would have happened if Alma and Lureen would have met?
A. they would immediately have taken off on a fishing trip
Q. who hated Jack the most; LD or OMT?
-
Q. who hated Jack the most; LD or OMT?
A. that answer will be settled in HBO - Homophobe Belittling Olympics.
Q. What the hell did OMT do on Brokeback Mountain?
-
Q. What the hell did OMT do on Brokeback Mountain?
A. he was looking for the handle on the coffepot.
Q. how come Lureen gets blonder and blonder all the time?
-
Q. how come Lureen gets blonder and blonder all the time?
A. she is a suicide blonde - dyed by her own hand.
Q. why does Lureen let the old ranchers in her office get away with calling Jack a 'pissant?'
-
Q. why does Lureen let the old ranchers in her office get away with calling Jack a 'pissant?'
A. head-deep in her calculator, she though they were saying, 'best saint,' and didn't want to contradict her good opinion of him.
Q. How many Basques does it take to tie a diamond hitch?
-
We announce a break in the BBM Wrong Answer Game for an important question:
WHAT THE HELL IS A DIAMOND HITCH??
::) ;D
-
If you have a pony, horse, or mule for a pack animal, it greatly facilitates the transportation of camping material, and furnishes you with many more conveniences, such as additional cooking utensils and extra clothes. All campers traveling with pack animals owe a debt of gratitude to an old Spanish muleteer who many, many years ago invented
The Famous Diamond Hitch
-
Oh, wow. Thanks Monika! :-*
-
Way To Go, Monika!!!
-
Q. How many Basques does it take to tie a diamond hitch?
A. 11. 10 to find out what the hell a diamond hitch actually is (remember, they don't have Monika to help them), and one to do the actual tying.
Q. Why don't the Basques know what a diamond hitch is?
-
Q. Why don't the Basques know what a diamond hitch is?
A. Cause diamonds are hard to pack
Q. What does Randall think a diamond hitch is?
-
Q. What does Randall think a diamond hitch is?
A. What he has with LaShawn, since he gave her a diamond ring when they got hitched.
Q. To whom did the Basque get hitched?
-
Q. To whom did the Basque get hitched?
A. He married the first women he met that hated tomato soup.
Q. What would Jack and Ennis have done in Denver?
-
Q. What would Jack and Ennis have done in Denver?
A. Taken a good and thorough look in this place:
(http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm156/bbmuppslukad/gatherings/Train%20trip%20-10/Denver/Denver001.jpg)
And, they would have found this:
(http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm156/bbmuppslukad/gatherings/Train%20trip%20-10/Denver/Denver006.jpg)
Q. Why did they never go someplace warm?
-
(Good one, Sonja!!)
Q. Why did they never go someplace warm?
A. Because Ennis was deadly afraid of mosquitos
Q. What would Ennis and Jack think of Sweden?
-
Q. What would Ennis and Jack think of Sweden?
A. No cowboys, no rodeos, no Thanksgiving, no coyotes, very few sheepherders and Basques. But lotsa mountains, moose, herring ( ;)), crystal clear rivers and, above all, lotsa tall, blond good looking men!
Q. What would Jack and Ennis think of ABBA?
-
Q. What would Jack and Ennis think of ABBA?
A. ABBA is their favorite! Jack: "Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight". Ennis: "Does your mother know that you're out?"
Q. Why should the dogies get along, anyway?
-
Q. Why should the dogies get along, anyway?
A. It's a long way to Kansas City, or Ohama, or Chicago, and time's a-wastin'!
Q. Why do the dogies avoid Kurt Vonnegut?
-
Q. Why do the dogies avoid Kurt Vonnegut?
A. Well, it wasn't because of "Breakfast of Champions."
Q. If Lureen is so good at making money, why does she do her own nails, anyway?
-
Q. If Lureen is so good at making money, why does she do her own nails, anyway?
A. Because the only manicurist in town is named Lashawn.
Q. Who does Lureen's hair?
-
Q. Who does Lureen's hair?
A. The only manicurist in town. That's why it looks like hell.
Q. Who does the only manicurist in town's hair?
-
Q. Who does the only manicurist in town's hair?
A. John Deere.
Q. Who made the mold for Mrs. LD's hair?
-
Q. Who does the only manicurist in town's hair?
A. Randall. He does just about everything and everyone.
Q. Exactly what is the pentacoast?
-
Q. Exactly what is the pentacoast?
A. The coastline of the island Penta.
Q. Who made the mold for Mrs. LD's hair?
-
Q. Who made the mold for Mrs. LD's hair?
A. The Beatles! Mrs. was the bullet-headed mother who was sung about in Bungalow Bill! Talk about coincidence!
Q. Why is Jack's tractor called "Versatile?"
-
Q. Why is Jack's tractor called "Versatile?"
A. They were sure such a long and complicated word would impress someone!
Q. Why Denver?
-
Q. Why Denver?
A. Ennis was too drunk to say 'Bend over' clearly at all, so what he said sounded like Ben Denver. To which Jack replied, "We ought a go to Mexico."
Q. Why did Ennis refuse to go to Mexico?
-
Q. Why did Ennis refuse to go to Mexico?
A. Cause he had already been there and had the STD to prove it
Q. Did Ennis ever find the handle?
-
Q. Did Ennis ever find the handle?
A. Once or twice a year.
Q. Why did Ennis pee in the sink?
-
Q. Why did Ennis pee in the sink?
A. Better pee in the sink than see in the pink. (whatever that means LOL!)
Q. Why didn't Ennis have more furniture?
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis have more furniture?
A. Cause there was no IKEA store around
Q. What would Ennis´ trailer after an extreme home make over look like?
-
Q. What would Ennis´ trailer after an extreme home make over look like?
A.
(http://www.indiafolder.com/indian-monuments/img/Taj%20Mahal.jpg)
Q. How old was that bottle of wine in Ennis's refrigerator?
-
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Move that bus!
-
Q. How old was that bottle of wine in Ennis's refrigerator?
A. it was a bottle they got from the Basque instead of powdered milk up on Brokeback, but neither of them knew what to do with it. So Ennis kept it.
Q. When did Ennis use the fan?
-
Q. When did Ennis use the fan?
A. Whenever he practised his "Carola" impression. Gotta have a fan for that
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnDQ8kWRbKk[/youtube]
A. What did Ennis think of Kurt when he met him?
-
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
LMAO!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
-
Q What did Ennis think of Kurt when he met him?
A that he would make a wonderful background dancer when Ennis sang "Fångad av en stormvind", using the fan
Q What made Junior fall for Kurt?
-
A that he would make a wonderful background dancer when Ennis sang "Fångad av en stormvind", using the fan
I think you just killed me dead with that one!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
-
I think you just killed me dead with that one!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
:-*
-
Q What made Junior fall for Kurt?
A. Kurt's wonderful dancing to "Fångad av en stormvind".
Q. Whatever happened to Troy?
-
Q. Whatever happened to Troy?
A. He got his hair caught in the fan and broke his neck
Q. What kind of music did Jack listen to?
-
Q. What kind of music did Jack listen to?
A. [youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18GTVeXNWfg [/youtube]
Q. what was Jack's favourite game as a boy?
-
Q. what was Jack's favourite game as a boy?
A. trying to figure out "The Sounds of Silence," by Simon & Garfunkel
Q. what was Ennis's favorite game before Brokeback?
-
Q. what was Ennis's favorite game before Brokeback?
A. He played hide-and-seek on his own. He hid in a closet, and then he couldn't find himself.
Q. Why is OMT such a bastard?
-
Q. Why is OMT such a bastard?
A. When he was a toddler, his daddy beat him nearly to death with his belt, but didn't pee on him - he's always been frustrated at being so short-changed...
Q. Why is The Twist kitchen so white?
-
Q. Why is The Twist kitchen so white?
A. When they repainted the house, there was a sale on white paint, so that's what OMT bought.
Q. What was the colour of the walls in Ennis's old home?
-
Q. What was the colour of the walls in Ennis's old home?
A. Barn walls aren´t usually painted at all
Q. What did Junior do for a living?
-
Q. What did Junior do for a living?
A. she took up a career as an interior designer -- helping people with too little furniture to furnish their home.
Q. why was Jenny gonna sing at Junior's wedding?
-
Q. why was Jenny gonna sing at Junior's wedding?
A. She got kicked out of karaoke at the Black and Blue Eagle.
Q. how did the Eagle get black and blue?
-
Q. how did the Eagle get black and blue?
A. it was beaten up by on of the sheep.
Q. How do you eat soup at the Knife and Fork?
-
Q. How do you eat soup at the Knife and Fork?
A. They stopped serving soup at the knfe and fork - tomato soup with a fork takes forever!
Q. What kind of soup goes with lamb?
-
Q. What kind of soup goes with lamb?
A Duck soup
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bonpelSt2ME [/youtube]
Q. what would have happened if Aguirre had employed Groucho and Chico instead of Jack and Ennis?
-
Q. what would have happened if Aguirre had employed Groucho and Chico instead of Jack and Ennis?
A. Philadelphia? The City of Brotherly Love?
Q. Was there any jealousy or neediness in Aguirre's tone when he stated that ranch hands are a bunch of stiffs?
-
Q. Was there any jealousy or neediness in Aguirre's tone when he stated that ranch hands are a bunch of stiffs?
A. No, he was happy with the sheep.
Q. Who mixed up the sheep?
-
Q. Who mixed up the sheep?
A. I did
Q. Why did everything seem mixed?
-
Q. Why did everything seem mixed?
A. It was the fault of the damn sheep! Once they ate those damn fermenting dandelions, it was all over!
Q. Why did the Basque hate the diamond hitch?
-
Q. Why did the Basque hate the diamond hitch?
A. Because he got hitched without getting a diamond.
Q. So, who married the Basque?
-
Q. So, who married the Basque?
A. The Sombrero
Q. What was the Basque´s secret dream?
-
Q. What was the Basque´s secret dream?
A. To go to Basque-in Robbins for bean-flavored ice cream.
Q. Why was Jack's aim so bad?
-
Q. Why was Jack's aim so bad?
A. Cause he wasn´t straight
Q. Why did Jack wear an eagle feather in his hat band?
-
Q. Why did Jack wear an eagle feather in his hat band?
A. Because the peacock feather was too big.
Q. Why didn't Ennis wear underwear?
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis wear underwear?
A. Because "wear" rhymes with "queer"
Q. Why didn´t Ennis wear socks?
-
Q. Why didn´t Ennis wear socks?
A. Cuz he did (in the film).
Q. Did Jack wear underwear?
-
Q. Did Jack wear underwear?
A. No, coz he didn't know under where to wear underwear.
Q Isn't that weird?
-
Q Isn't that weird?
A. Unlike some other demonstrative adjectives and adverbs, that's actually OK in this instance - maybe a little mixed, but that's in the right place here, anyway.
Q. Was Lureen ever in danger of succumbing to peroxide fumes?
-
Q. Was Lureen ever in danger of succumbing to peroxide fumes?
A. No - everything in Texas blows hard.
Q. Since Lureen was so involved in the business, why didn't she have her nails done in a salon?
-
Q. Since Lureen was so involved in the business, why didn't she have her nails done in a salon?
A. Actually, Jack did her nails, and his aim ain't so good.
Q. Whatever happened to LD?
-
Q. Whatever happened to LD?
A. He became a huge movie star
Q. Why didn´t LD like Jack?
-
Q. Why didn´t LD like Jack?
A. Jack had only one favorite movie star, and it wasn't LD.
Q. Why didn't Randall take LaShawn to the croppie house?
-
Q. Why didn't Randall take LaShawn to the croppie house?
A. Lashawn is allergic to water.
Q. What does LD stand for?
-
Q. What does LD stand for?
A. Lotsa Dough
Q. Why did Mrs. Twist only use one cherry in her cherry cake?
-
Q. Why did Mrs. Twist only use one cherry in her cherry cake?
A. 'Cuz she saves them for her nightly Manhattans.
(http://www.cocktailtimes.com/original/top_chambord_manhattan.jpg)
Q. Why did Ma Twist iron-crease Jack's jeans?
-
Q. Why did Ma Twist iron-crease Jack's jeans?
A. Them sheep are gettin' mighty critical. And cute.
Q. Why did Ennis keep his life savings in a coffee can?
-
Q. Why did Ennis keep his life savings in a coffee can?
A. Coz he didn't have no teapot.
Q. Who did KE marry?
-
Q. Who did KE marry?
A. KE and his roughneck boyfriend moved to Massachusetts two or three years ago and got married on Cape Cod. It was a lovely ceremony, cake with two grooms, reception with twenty-five...
Q. Whatever happened to Jenny?
-
Q. Whatever happened to Jenny?
A. She won American Idol
Q. What did Ennis watch on TV?
-
Q. What did Ennis watch on TV?
A. He especially loved the test pattern.
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fmdXthUkpfM/TCmKCUe47PI/AAAAAAAAAug/5sjlnYrKydo/s1600/test+pattern.jpg)
Q. Why did Cassie only drink white whine?
-
Q. Why did Cassie only drink white whine?
A. Cause Ennis thought red whine looked "queer"
Q. What did Cassie think about Junior?
-
Q. What did Cassie think about Junior?
A. That she made really good mints.
(http://www.victoryseeds.com/candystore/images/junior_mints/jr_mints.jpg)
Q. "Good enough" for what?
-
Q. "Good enough" for what?
A. "Good enough" for a beard.
Q. What did Alma wear for Halloween?
-
Q. "Good enough" for what?
A. For being a contestant on American Idol
Q. How come Ennis thought the word "sophomore" carried a kind of distinction?
-
Q. What did Alma wear for Halloween?
A. She dressed up as a fish. Figured Ennis would finally take some interest in her.
Q. How come Ennis thought the word "sophomore" carried a kind of distinction?
-
Q. How come Ennis thought the word "sophomore" carried a kind of distinction?
A. He thought it meant that 2nd year highschool students learned soph-istication.
Q. Why did Monroe clean up Alma's beans?
-
Q. Why did Monroe clean up Alma's beans?
A. Because Mr Bean was out of town.
Q. What other employees did Monroe have in his store?
-
Q. What other employees did Monroe have in his store?
A. Two elfs
Q. How did Ennis and Alma celebrate Christmas?
-
Q. How did Ennis and Alma celebrate Christmas?
A. They invited Monroe's elves over.
Q. Who else did Alma "out"?
-
Q. Who else did Alma "out"?
A. The elfs. They met one winter up on Elfback Mountain while herding reindeer
Q. What did Ennis usually get Alma for Christmas?
-
Q. What did Ennis usually get Alma for Christmas?
A. Pregnant.
Q. What did Alma usually get for Ennis for Christmas?
-
Q. What did Alma usually get for Ennis for Christmas?
A. condoms
Q. what did they get the girls for xmas?
-
Q. what did they get the girls for xmas?
A. Monroe.
Q. What did Randall get LaShawn for christmas?
-
Q. What did Randall get LaShawn for christmas?
A. a gag
Q what did LaShawn get Randall for xmas?
-
Q what did LaShawn get Randall for xmas?
A. A solo trip, by herself, to her Mom's house.
Q. What did the Basque get the sheep for Festivus?
-
Q. What did the Basque get the sheep for Festivus?
A. Underwear
Q. Who took the sheep up on Brokeback in -64?
-
Q. Who took the sheep up on Brokeback in -64?
A. (In Ennis voice) They took themselves up.
Q. How come we never see Fish & Game?
-
Q. How come we never see Fish & Game?
A. First rule of Fish & Game: There is no Fish & Game. Second rule....
Q. Why isn´t it allowed to sleep with the sheep?
-
Q. Why isn´t it allowed to sleep with the sheep?
A. The Fish & Game ain't allowed to sleep with the sheep because it don't have no sense of propriety.
Q. Why does the Fish & Game have such an affinity for Elk?
-
Q. Why does the Fish & Game have such an affinity for Elk?
A. Because they think elk are moose.
Q. Why isn't there a lesbian sequel to Brokeback Mountain?
-
Q. Why isn't there a lesbian sequel to Brokeback Mountain?
A. Because lesbians don't like beans.
Q. Did those sheep really come from Chile?
-
A. Because lesbians don't like beans.
I thought it was because they are hard to pack
Q. Did those sheep really come from Chile?
A. No, Miami.
Q. Why does Monroe own an electric knife?
-
Q. Why does Monroe own an electric knife?
A. Because his electric toothbrush is too dull.
Q. Why are there only 10 commandments?
-
Q. Why are there only 10 commandments?
A. Because Moses dropped the other ten while hiking down from Moose Mountain.
Q. Why are lesbians hard to pack?
-
Q. Why are lesbians hard to pack?
A Coz they carry too many soup boxes.
Q Why are soup boxes hard to pack?
-
Q Why are soup boxes hard to pack?
A. They aren't; the Basque is an idiot.
Q. Did Jack actually ask for soup? Or was Ennis just guessing?
-
Q. Did Jack actually ask for soup? Or was Ennis just guessing?
A Ennis was guessing. Jack said: "no more beans", meaning he wanted only the tomato sauce in the cans.
Q why didn't the basque bring powdered milk and spuds when they asked for it?
-
Q why didn't the basque bring powdered milk and spuds when they asked for it?
A. Because he used them himself, and made lovely mashed potatoes. Chives optional.
Q. Whatever happened to all that food that the dumbass mules scattered?
-
Q. Whatever happened to all that food that the dumbass mules scattered?
A. Most of it rotted in the sun, and the rest was eaten by smartass flies that hatched out of said rot.
Q. Why do dumbass mules attract flies?
-
Q. Why do dumbass mules attract flies?
A. Actually, flies attract more flies than dumbass mules do, but the d.a. mules attrack flies cause they're on jeans - no not the mules, the flies.
Q. How do gay ranchhands attract flies?
-
Q. How do gay ranchhands attract flies?
A. By doing the "fly dance". It´s an ancient gay tradition
Q. What would Ennis say if Ennis and Jesus met?
-
Q. What would Ennis say if Ennis and Jesus met?
A "what the hell happened to the spuds and powdered milk?"
Q How come Kurt worked in the oilfields?
-
Q. How come Kurt worked in the oilfields?
A. Because he was laid off twice by Schlumberger.
Q. Was any of Brokeback Mountain shot in Wyoming?
-
Q. Was any of Brokeback Mountain shot in Wyoming?
A. Only the scene when Jack is in Mexico
Q. What did Jack really do in Mexico?
-
Q. What did Jack really do in Mexico?
A He was the leader of the drug maffia. He was just checking his employees.
Q. What was LD's real business?
-
Q. What was LD's real business?
A. Dog kennels
Q. Why didn´t the army want Jack?
-
Q. Why didn´t the army want Jack?
A. The army usually doesn't want drug maffia leaders.
Q How many times did Jack go to Mexico?
-
Q How many times did Jack go to Mexico?
A. About ten times. Then he found about Reeperbahn in Germany.
Q. Did Jack learn Spanish?
-
Q. Did Jack learn Spanish?
A. he didn't need no spanish. body language was suffice.
Q is wyomingish related to english?
-
Q is wyomingish related to english?
A. No, it´s a mix of Swedish and Hebrew.
Q. Why did Jack drop out of high school?
-
Q. Why did Jack drop out of high school?
A Noone in school understood what he was saying in his mix of Swedish and Hebrew.
Q. What's the weather gonna be like in Stockholm this weekend? ooops..... sorry, wrong question.... ;D What did Ennis do with the coffee can when he'd used all the money?
-
Q. What did Ennis do with the coffee can when he'd used all the money?
A. He shook it!
Q. What did Ennis like more of, elk venison or salt?
-
Q. What did Ennis like more of, elk venison or salt?
A Neither. He only liked beans.
Q Why didn't Jack like beans?
-
Q Why didn't Jack like beans?
A. Because Old Man Twist use to bathe in beans. Said it was good for his skin
Q. Why did Ennis like beans?
-
Q. Why did Ennis like beans?
A. Coz he was anxious to keep his skin smooth and moist.
Q. Why didn't Mr Bean bring the beans instead of the Basque?
-
Q. Why didn't Mr Bean bring the beans instead of the Basque?
A. Rowan Atkinson were on holiday
Q. Why didn´t Ennis use viagra?
-
Q. Why didn´t Ennis use viagra?
A. He heard it would give him a woody and he knew that wood burns.
Q. Where did Jack learn his rope tricks?
-
Q. Where did Jack learn his rope tricks?
A. In India, where rope tricks have been practiced for thousands of years.
Snake charming too, but he didn't learn that because he played the flute
just as bad as he played the harmonica.
Q Where did Jack and Lureen buy those hideous purple chairs?
-
Q Where did Jack and Lureen buy those hideous purple chairs?
A. At Hugh Hefner´s garage sale
Q. What would Ennis and Jack have done in Denver?
-
Q. What would Ennis and Jack have done in Denver?
A. They would have had a fabulous brunch.
Q. What do they have in Mexico for boys like Jack?
-
Q. What do they have in Mexico for boys like Jack?
A. Silver mounted saddles and sombreros. And a little tequila at that.
Q. Why did Jack and Ennis smoke so much?
-
Q. Why did Jack and Ennis smoke so much?
A. 'Cuz where there's smoke, there's fire.
Q. Why did Jack grow that moustache?
-
Q. Why did Jack grow that moustache?
A. Because he thought the women in Mexico were strapping.
Q. Four f*****g years on Earth equals how many on Uranus?
-
Q. Four f*****g years on Earth equals how many on Uranus?
A. As long as the stair kiss lasted
Q. How come Lureen never said; that's a hot friend you got there Jack?
-
Q. How come Lureen never said; that's a hot friend you got there Jack?
A. Because, secretly, she was sleeping with Ennis too, and didn´t want to give anything away
Q. What did Monroe think of Ennis?
-
Q. What did Monroe think of Ennis?
A. He thought Ennis's mouth would look nice wrapped around his cigar.
Q. Why does Monroe like figure skating?
-
Q. Why does Monroe like figure skating?
A. Cause you can smoke a cigar while watching it on the telly
Q. What did Ennis´s girls think when they saw Jack hug their dad?
-
Q. What did Ennis´s girls think when they saw Jack hug their dad?
A. :o :o, what a f.... he is MINE
Q. What happened to Jacks car?
-
Q. What happened to Jacks car?
A. It got stolen by Jimbo. he loved it.
Q Who called Aguirre in the trailer?
-
Q Who called Aguirre in the trailer?
A. Everybody called Aguirre in the trailer, what they called him is a different matter.
Q. What did Aguirre do with the Jackelope meat? Pie or Reubens?
-
Q. What did Aguirre do with the Jackelope meat? Pie or Reubens?
A. Reubens, because he had a fetish for large women.
Q. What was Ennis' favorite pie? Chicken or Squash?
-
Q. What was Ennis' favorite pie? Chicken or Squash?
A. Squash. Ennis didn't play tennis.
Q Who was Aguirre married with?
-
Q Who was Aguirre married with?
A. Aguirre was married to his job, the entire 1000 member flock.
Q. How can one person divorce a thousand sheep? No, no, he means it!
-
Q. How can one person divorce a thousand sheep? No, no, he means it!
A. By slaughtering them and then cook lamb chops
Q. If forced to go on vaction abroad, where would Ennis have gone?
-
Q. If forced to go on vaction abroad, where would Ennis have gone?
A. To Fårö of course. (A small Swedish island - Ingmar Bergman lived there - the name translates Sheep Island)
Q. Where would Jack have gone?
-
Q. Where would Jack have gone?
A. Thailand (sorry Jack!)
Q. Where would Alma have gone?
-
Q. Where would Alma have gone?
A. Alma would have gone anywhere butt Greece.
Q. How old was Ennis when he married Alma?
-
Q. How old was Ennis when he married Alma?
A. Too young to know better.
Q. How many wedding dresses just like Alma's did JCPenney sell that year?
-
Q. How many wedding dresses just like Alma's did JCPenney sell that year?
A. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say tree.
Q. How many beans are there in a typical can of Bettermost?
-
Q. How many beans are there in a typical can of Bettermost?
A. OK I´ve counted! It was 322. Better go wash my hands now...
Q. What would Ennis make of Homer Simpson?
-
Q. What would Ennis make of Homer Simpson
A. A dumbass male.
Q. Why didn't they fish on their fishing trips?
-
Q. Why didn't they fish on their fishing trips?
A. Cause once when Ennis was but 9 years old his father took him to see a dead fish in ditch.It was very traumatic.
Q. Why did Randall grow a beard?
-
Q. Why did Randall grow a beard?
A. He preferred a silent beard, in addition to the yakety-yaking one he already had
Q. Why did LaShawn chatter non stop?
-
Q. Why did LaShawn chatter non stop?
A. She had the same problem my cousin Karen did - she was vaccinated with a phonegraph needle.
Q. Why did such a world-class cinematographer as Sr. Pietro wind up hustling tricks in any alley in a border town?
-
Q. Why did such a world-class cinematographer as Sr. Pietro wind up hustling tricks in any alley in a border town?
A. He never learnt how to spell "cinematographer", so he needed to find another way to make a living.
Q. Why did Alma want to move to town?
-
Q. Why did Alma want to move to town?
A. She was an elitist and had watched too many episodes of Green Acres.
Q. Why did they kill Jack so abruptly in BBM?
-
Q. Why did they kill Jack so abruptly in BBM?
A. because of his bad breath.
Q. Why didn't Ennis bring the girls to Alma's parents for babysitting when he had to work on the ranch?
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis bring the girls to Alma's parents for babysitting when he had to work on the ranch?
A. Cause Alma had been adopted and raised by a gay couple
Q. What did Ennis buy Jack for Christmas?
-
Q. What did Ennis buy Jack for Christmas?
A. a nice closet for his blue parka, made of jacaranda.
Q. what did Jack buy Ennis for xmas?
-
Q. what did Jack buy Ennis for xmas?
A. a big can of whupass for the closet door.
Q. what's the favorite christmas carol in Signal?
-
Q. what's the favorite christmas carol in Signal?
A. O! holey night.
Q. What's the difference between the choir in Denver and the choir in Lightning Flat?
-
Q. What's the difference between the choir in Denver and the choir in Lightning Flat?
A. Denver's choir has people.
Q. What's Lashawn's favorite xmas carol?
-
Q. What's Lashawn's favorite xmas carol?
A "Silent Night....not"
Q. What's Jack's f x c?
-
Q. What's Jack's f x c?
A. He yet has to sleep with men whose names begin with either of those letters. The rest of the alphabet is covered
B. Why did Ang decide to make this movie?
-
B. Why did Ang decide to make this movie?
A. He always wondered how many drunken gay cowboys he could fit into one smelly tent.
Q What's Jack's favourite xmas carol?
-
Q. What's Jack's f x c?
A. He yet has to sleep with men whose names begin with either of those letters. The rest of the alphabet is covered
B. Why did Ang decide to make this movie?
ROFLMAO
-
Q What's Jack's favourite xmas carol?
A. O! Holey Night - I thought we covered that one...
Q. The Basque's f x c?
-
A. O! Holey Night - I thought we covered that one...
So Jack shares f x c with all of Signal? ;D
-
Q. So Jack shares f x c with all of Signal? ;D
A. not yet, but they're being fit into his schedule, and their favorite carol is that old time fave rave, Gun's Goin Off!
Q. Can the people of Signal actually sing their f x c?!?
-
Q. Can the people of Signal actually sing their f x c?!?
A. They do well with the carols, but have a hard time singing Frank, Xavier, and Chuck - we're talking ranch hands, not tunes here.
Q. Did the Methodist choir sing anything in remembrance of Earl?
-
Q. Did the Methodist choir sing anything in remembrance of Earl
A. No, coz Rich and Earl wasn't methodists.
Q. Why did Junior have a runny nose?
-
Q. Why did Junior have a runny nose?
A. She was training for the fifty-yard dash, and wherever her feet went, so went her nose.
Q. What else did Jr think was "Good enough"?
-
Q. What else did Jr think was "Good enough"?
A. Living over a laundromat with all those machine noises running through her life.
Q. When did the Elks decide that moving in to town and getting an office near the laundromat was a good idea?
-
Q. When did the Elks decide that moving in to town and getting an office near the laundromat was a good idea?
A. After they happened upon Jack and Randall in the woods. Enough is enough.
Q. Whatever happened to Cigar butt?
-
Q. Whatever happened to Cigar butt?
A. He joined Weight Watchers, lost weight and changed names to Cigarette butt.
Q. Who was the bear mainly after, Ennis or the dumbass mules?
-
Q. Whatever happened to Cigar butt?
A. Glue factory.
He underwent several years of therapy, because the other horses always made fun of his name. Tragically, none of them was aware of the real reason for it. They all thought it was because he had the color of a cigar butt - nut no. Truth is, his former owner shoved a cigar up his :-X. After therapy, Cigar Butt launched his carreer in Hollywood and became Fury, the furious avenger of all mistreated horses.
Q.
Oh, I just see Sonja was quicker with answering. I'll post anyway, and we'll go with her question:
Q. Who was the bear mainly after, Ennis or the dumbass mules?
-
Q. Who was the bear mainly after, Ennis or the dumbass mules?
A. The dumbass mules: The bear was a top.
Q. What does a bear use for lube?
-
Q. What does a bear use for lube?
A. Honey of course (see pic)
Q. What´s the real reason Ennis´ father showed him Rich?
-
A. Honey of course (see pic)
LOL!!!
-
Q. What does a bear use for lube?
A. Honey of course (see pic)
Q. What´s the real reason Ennis´ father showed him Rich?
A. Whatever the reason it wasn't to fuel Ennis' homophobia, right?
Q. Did Alma like honey?
-
Q. Did Alma like honey?
A. Ask Winnie
Q. Why didn´t Ennis use honey?
-
Q. Why didn´t Ennis use honey?
A. Coz he had no money.
Q. What's in Bobby's bowl at T-giving?
-
Q. What's in Bobby's bowl at T-giving?
A. Car keyes (I saw "Ice Storm" recently)
Q. What´s the real reason Ang chose Alberta over Wyoming?
-
Q. What´s the real reason Ang chose Alberta over Wyoming?
A. it's easier to spell.
Q. Why didn't they celebrate their T-giving at LD's and Fayette's house?
-
Q. Why didn't they celebrate their T-giving at LD's and Fayette's house?
A. They couldn't find anything to be Thankful for at LD's house.
Q. Was Santa good to Bobby?
-
Q. Was Santa good to Bobby?
A. Yes, he gave Bobby his missing front teeth:
(http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm156/bbmuppslukad/postade%20bilder/bobby_toothless.jpg)
manip by Jimmy/knash
Q. What did the Twists do for New Years?
-
What do the Twists do for New Years?
They try and un -Twist all the screw ups that LD has made.
How does Lureen get her great looks with the parents she had?
-
How does Lureen get her great looks with the parents she had?
She gets by with a little help from her friends: Max Factor, Maybelline, and Clair All (sp?), and maybe the milkman.
Why did Alma think that Jack was Nasty?
-
Q. Why did Alma think that Jack was Nasty?
A. She wanted to be the one to kiss him
Q. How did the del Mars celebrate New Years?
-
Q. How did the del Mars celebrate New Years?
A. Face to face.
Q. What were Bobby's resolutions?
-
Q. What were Bobby's resolutions?
A. To stop pissing his grandpa off by saying that he wants to be exactly like his dad.
Q. What were LD's resolutions?
-
Q. What were LD's resolutions?
A. To invent the remote control and take the stud duck dominant position with it, to control the world!
Q. What about Alma's resolutions?
-
Q. What about Alma's resolutions?
A. To take an evening class in "Contemporary anthropology: Coffee related behaviour among Texans".
Q. Lureens resolutions?
-
Q. What about Alma's resolutions?
A. To take an evening class in "Contemporary anthropology: Coffee related behaviour among Texans".
LMAO
-
Q. Lureen's resolution?
A. Smack that goddam little Vietnamese bitch the next time she gets nail polish on her fingers.
Q. Randall's resolution?
-
Q. Randall's resolution?
A. To continue his search for a meaning to his life.
Q. What's a croppie house?
-
Q. What's a croppie house?
A. Noone knows but Randall
Q. Why would Randall's boss let him use the house?
-
Q. Why would Randall's boss let him use the house?
A. He knows Randall is too old to herd sheep on a mountain.
Q. Did Lureen ever remarry?
-
Q. Did Lureen ever remarry?
A. She tried to, but couldn't find a minister, not even a Unitarian, who would marry her to a cash register and adding machine.
Q. Why did JR. marry a roughneck?
-
Q. Why did JR. marry a roughneck?
A. Roughnecks are known to never go on fishing trips.
Q. What kind of supper had Alma left on the stove?
-
Q. What kind of supper had Alma left on the stove?
A. (see pic)
Q. If Jack decided to get a tattoo, what would it be and where?
-
det var det äckligaste..... :P
-
Q. If Jack decided to get a tattoo, what would it be and where?
A. Jack has TWO tatoos, one on the bottom of each foot, top of the letters towards the front of each foot: the right says THIS END; the left reads UP.
Q. Does LaShawn talk in her sleep?
-
det var det äckligaste..... :P
Lite ketchup på så....
Q.Does LaShawn talk in her sleep?
A. Yes, and in Klingon
Q. Why does LaShawn talk so much?
-
Lite ketchup på så....
är det inte synd på ketchupen?
Q. Why does LaShawn talk so much?
A. She suffers from a severe case of the incurable disease Oral Diarrhea.
Q. Who had Randall gone fishing with before he met Jack?
-
Q. Who had Randall gone fishing with before he met Jack?
A. The back field of the Texas A&M football team - GO AGGIES!!!
Q. Given his high salt applications, if Ennis had continued to do the cooking, how many years before he would be hospitalized for high blood pressure?
-
Q. Given his high salt applications, if Ennis had continued to do the cooking, how many years before he would be hospitalized for high blood pressure?
A. They don´t have hospitals in Wyoming. Hospitals are for wuzzies
Q. What is the true story behind the name "Brokeback"?
-
Q. What is the true story behind the name "Brokeback"?
A. Annie P's editor threatened to break her back if she used the title "Swill Swallow".
Q. What IS Troy doing now?
-
Q. What IS Troy doing now?
A. Troy is inexhaustibly touring Wyoming, searching for Swill Swallow Mountain that he's heard so much about.
Q What's the name of the sheep herders on Swill Swallow Mountain?
-
Q What's the name of the sheep herders on Swill Swallow Mountain?
A. There ain't no sheep up on Swill Swallow. Only bluebirds.
Q. What do the bluebirds sing up on Swill Swallow?
-
Q. What do the bluebirds sing up on Swill Swallow?
A. They don't - they just swish, gargle, and spit.
Q. What do the swallows sing up on Swill Swallow?
-
Q. What do the swallows sing up on Swill Swallow?
A. "I´m bringing sexy back, them other boys they don´t know how to act..."
Q. What was Ennis middle name?
-
Q. What was Ennis middle name?
A. "del", of course!
Q. What was Jack's middle name?
-
Q. What was Jack's middle name?
A. Hassan
Q. What´s the story behind the name "del Mar"?
-
Q. What´s the story behind the name "del Mar"?
A. It was originally "Markowitz", but Ennis's father had it changed, when the FBI came looking for him.
Q. What's the story behind Alma's last name, "Beers"?
-
Q. What's the story behind Alma's last name, "Beers"?
A. Alma´s folks thought it was quaint to let little Alma know from an early age exactly how she was conceived.
Q. How did Alma and Ennis meet?
-
Q. How did Alma and Ennis meet?
A. At the Dairy Queer Queen.
Q. How did Ma and Pa Twist meet?
-
Q. How did Ma and Pa Twist meet?
A. At the Black and Blue Eagle, over to Signal: Johnny Twist was watchin the boys play pool, and his future wife knew he'd be better off dancin and drinkin with her, instead watchin those boys.
Q. What's the favorite cocktail in Lightnin Flats?
-
Q. What's the favorite cocktail in Lightnin Flats?
A.The I Ain´t Queer with a twist
Q. What´s the favorite cocktail in Sage?
-
Q. What´s the favorite cocktail in Sage?
A. The 'Scare'em early' with fake blood stains
Q. How did LD and Fayette meet?
-
Q. How did LD and Fayette meet?
A. At the beauty parlor--LD was doing her hair.
Q. What did Bobby grow up to be?
-
Q. What did Bobby grow up to be?
A. Colourblind.
Q. What did Jenny grow up to be?
-
Q. What did Jenny grow up to be?
A. Francine.
Q. What was the name of Jack's dog when he was a little boy?
-
Q. What was the name of Jack's dog when he was a little boy?
A. Jack's dog was never a little boy.
Q. Who made more per hour on Brokeback, Jack or Ennis?
-
Q. Who made more per hour on Brokeback, Jack or Ennis?
A. Neither. The blue heelers made way more: they were unionized.
Q. Why was Aguirre's hat so dorky?
-
Q. Why was Aguirre's hat so dorky?
A. That's what was on sale at "Dorky Hats 'R' Us."
Q. How much wood could a Jack Twist chuck chop?
-
Q. How much wood could a Jack Twist
chuck chop?
A. About as much as a Jack Chop could twist.
Q. What's the name of Mrs Aguirre?
-
Q. What's the name of Mrs Aguirre?
A. You mean Joe's mother? Her name is Delilah.
Q. What is Ma Twist's name?
-
Q. What is Ma Twist's name?
A. Ma is short for Margreth.
Q. What's the name of Joe's wife?
-
Q. What's the name of Joe's wife?
A. Harold.
Q. In "John C. Twist", what's the C stand for?
-
Q. In "John C. Twist", what's the C stand for?
A. Cutiepie. (his mother had very bad taste in names)
Q. Why did Ennis and Alma add 'Junior' to their daughter's name?
-
Q. Why did Ennis and Alma add 'Junior' to their daughter's name?
A. Because no one would ever believe she was the senior.
Q. Why did Jenny want to sing at Jr.'s Weddin?
-
Q. Why did Jenny want to sing at Jr.'s Weddin?
A. Cuz her favorite song is "I'm gonna warsh that man right outa my hair".
Q. Whatever happened to Cassie's Karl?
-
Q. Whatever happened to Cassie's Karl?
A. He became King Karl XVI Gustaf of Sweden
(http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f322/buffymon/url.jpg)
Q. What was the real reason Ennis didn´t want to go to Mexico?
-
Q. What was the real reason Ennis didn´t want to go to Mexico?
A. He didn't have his electronic visa.
Q. Why was Mexico known for, you know, that?
-
Q. Why was Mexico known for, you know, that?
A. Some people say it's the heat, some say the humidity, some say all the German tourists...
Q. What the hell do Geman tourists have to do with that?
-
Q. What the hell do Geman tourists have to do with that?
A. Some of my best friends are German tourists.
Q. Who did Fayette marry after LD kicked it?
-
Q. Who did Fayette marry after LD kicked it?
A. Randall
Q. What would Ennis say about the current situation in Egypt?
-
Q. What would Ennis say about the current situation in Egypt?
A. "Wha'? Where?"
Q. What would Ennis say about gay marriage?
-
Q. What would Ennis say about gay marriage?
A. A. "Wha'? Where?"
Q. If Ennis had to pick a place outside of Wyoming to visit, where would he go?
-
Q. If Ennis had to pick a place outside of Wyoming to visit, where would he go?
A. Coffee Pot Rock, Sedona, Arizona.
(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/33/39734708_0e79034406.jpg)
Q. Why does Ennis mumble?
-
Q. Why does Ennis mumble?
A. He thought he was being sent to electrocution, not elocution, so he skipped the class.
Q. Is sophomore a sophisticated state of being?
-
Q. Is sophomore a sophisticated state of being?
A. Only for morons. (sophos + moros = wise fool)
Q. What did Ennis learn in high school?
-
Q. What did Ennis learn in high school?
A. How easy it is to get pitched into ranching.
Q. What's the pitch for ranching?
-
Q. What's the pitch for ranching?
A. Low and outside.
Q. How far did $24 go back then?
-
A. Low and outside.
Q. How far did $24 go back then?
A. Trip to Mexico, perhaps? With unic memories.
Q. What did Ennis smell like?
-
A. Trip to Mexico, perhaps? With unic memories.
Q. What did Ennis smell like?
A. Lets see, stale cigarette smoke, seaman, soap, shit......
Q. Why did Bobby cross the road?
-
Q. Why did Bobby cross the road?
A. To get away from Lureen's cooking.
Q. How ignorant is LD's ass anyway?
-
A. Lets see, stale cigarette smoke, seaman, soap, shit......
Q. Why did Bobby cross the road?
A. he needed a toilet
Q. which character would you play?
-
Q. How ignorant is LD's ass anyway?
A. LD's ass dosen't know the difference between the pot and the kettle (which may explain Lureen's cooking...
Q. What did the pot actually say to the kettle?
-
Q. What did the pot actually say to the kettle?
A. "I ain't queer neither."
Q. (back to Tru's question) Which character would you play?
-
Q. which character would you play?
A. I'd play both leads against the middle. Call me middle...
Q. What's the difference between having character and being a character?
-
Q. What did the pot actually say to the kettle?
A. Mi casa, su casa.
Q. How often did the pot go to Mexico?
-
Q. How often did the pot go to Mexico?
A. The pot doesn't go to Mexico, it grows there. It usually leaves Mexico.
Q. Did Jack smoke pot with other people too, or only with Ennis?
-
Q. Did Jack smoke pot with other people too, or only with Ennis?
A. With his mother, quite regulary
Q. What did AP mean when she wrote that Jack didn´t roll his own?
-
Q. What did AP mean when she wrote that Jack didn´t roll his own?
A. He smoked ready-made joints.
Q. What did OMT think of his pot-smoking wife?
-
Q. What did OMT think of his pot-smoking wife?
A. OMT don't do a lot of thinkin'.
Q. Does Ma Twist inhale?
-
Q. Does Ma Twist inhale?
A. Yes, but she won´t swallow.
Q. What reaction did Ma Twist have to the pot?
-
Q. What reaction did Ma Twist have to the pot?
A. She saw Lightning and was Flattened.
Q. Did they grow pot on the family plot?
-
A. She saw Lightning and was Flattened.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
-
Q. Did they grow pot on the family plot?
A. No, but a plot was often required to get hold of the pot.
Q. What was the family plot about anyway?
-
Q. What was the family plot about anyway?
A. About 10 by 20 feet.
Q. What was Ma Twist's maiden name?
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Q. What was Ma Twist's maiden name?
A. Shout.
Q. Isley Bros or the Beatles - were either better received in Sage?
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Q. Isley Bros or the Beatles - were either better received in Sage?
A. Neither. Ma Twist, née Shout, used to jam with Chubby Checker.
Q. What's the signal in Signal?
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Q. What's the signal in Signal?
A. A lick and a promise.
Q. What was Alma Jr.'s favorite dessert?
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Q. What was Alma Jr.'s favorite dessert?
A. She thought it was the Sahara, but that's only because of the picture on the Dromedary dates.
Q. Why did AJ get married at 19?
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Q. Why did AJ get married at 19?
A. All Almas must get married at 19. It's a law.
Q. How long did Junior and Curt stay married?
-
Q. How long did Junior and Curt stay married?
A. Until they divorced.
Q. Is it really possible to eat the Sahara?
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Q. Is it really possible to eat the Sahara?
A. Sure, you just have to live long enough.
Q. How many sand recipes does it take to eat the Sahara?
-
Q. How many sand recipes does it take to eat the Sahara?
A. Sand recipes don't eat anything, they're not alive.
Q. How many super-rural kids does it take to change a light bulb?
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Q. How many super-rural kids does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. In super-rural areas they don't trust the kids to change the light bulbs, the grown ups will do it themselves.
Q. Why would Ennis tell Alma they were fishing buddies, instead of sheep herding buddies?
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Q. Why would Ennis tell Alma they were fishing buddies, instead of sheep herding buddies?
A. Cuz it's hard keeping sheep in your apartment to use as an excuse to go away for the weekend.
Q. Why didn't that drip-drying elk attract bears?
-
Q. Why didn't that drip-drying elk attract bears?
A. Bears have been to the fair so many times, they've lost the taste for elk-on-a-stick.
Q. Why did no one tell Ennis that five tablespoons of salt is too much for two elk steaks?
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Q. Why did no one tell Ennis that five tablespoons of salt is too much for two elk steaks?
A. Coz noone was around to tell him. Jack was up with the sheep, and the film crew was busy filming.
And the elk didn't have much to say.
Q. Did Fish and Game ever find out about the shot elk?
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Q. Did Fish and Game ever find out about the shot elk?
A. They knew all along - it was the F.a.G. that made the doctor appointment in the first place to confirm the elk's lethargy and malaise - turns out, he was, in fact, all shot.
Q. Did either J or E have a shot with the elk?
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Q. Did either J or E have a shot with the elk?
A. Elk don't dance or date, and they stay away from scrawny anyway.
Q. We know about the Grand Tetons, but where are the Moderate Tetons?
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Q. We know about the Grand Tetons, but where are the Moderate Tetons?
A. they are right in the middle, between the Grand Tetons and the Tiny Tetons.
Q. Exactly how tiny are the Tiny Tetons?
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Q. Exactly how tiny are the Tiny Tetons?
A. They had to be fenced in - people kept stealing them for the backyard!
Q. Including Grand, Medium , and Tiny, how many Tetons are there?
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Q. Including Grand, Medium , and Tiny, how many Tetons are there?
A. XX Grand, X Grand, Grand, Grand Medium, Medium Medium, Tiny Medium, Tiny, X Tiny and XX Tiny Tetons.
There are helluva lots of Tetons!!! :o
Q. Which of the Tetons did they go to?
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Q. Which of the Tetons did they go to?
A. They went to Los Tetons in northern Mexico.
Q. Why didn´t they ever return to Brokeback Mountain?
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Q. Why didn´t they ever return to Brokeback Mountain?
A. There is no 'Tetons' in that name.
Q. When is teatime in the Tetons?
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Q. When is teatime in the Tetons?
A. In the tiny Tetons teatime tends to tip tentatively twice: twelve to two, two to ten, unless it's the dark teatime of the soul which tends to occur around fourish.
Q. What is served at teatime in the Tetons?
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Q. What is served at teatime in the Tetons?
A. Tons and tons of tea!
Q. What is it that Annie Proulx likes about Wyoming?
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Q. What is it that Annie Proulx likes about Wyoming?
A. Since she moved away: nothing.
Q. What did Ennis tell Alma on April 1st?
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Q. What did Ennis tell Alma on April 1st?
:laugh: :laugh:
A. I am not in love it you! ;D
Q. what did Ennis tell Jack on April 1st?
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Q. what did Ennis tell Jack on April 1st?
A. Ok, let's go for the cow and calf operation together!
Q Why did Ennis need spuds and powdered milk?
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Q Why did Ennis need spuds and powdered milk?
A. We need to spice up our sex life, Jack
Q. how did Jack respond to that?
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Q. how did Jack respond to that?
A. He made mashed potatoes, of course.
Q. Why didn't the drip-drying elk meat attract flies and bears?
-
A. He made mashed potatoes, of course.
Q. Why didn't the drip-drying elk meat attract flies and bears?
A. Because they felt the power from E&J:s ARK and walked together two and two towards the River.
Q. Why didn´t the tent fall down?
-
A. Because they felt the power from E&J:s ARK and walked together two and two towards the River.
Q. Why didn´t the tent fall down?
A. because it was well erected
Q. Who was the trucker Ennis got a ride to Signal with?
-
Q. Who was the trucker Ennis got a ride to Signal with?
A. A alien from March.
Q. What was Ennis favorit body part?
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Q. What was Ennis favorit body part?
A. Jack's ass.
Q. What did Jack think when he first saw Ennis?
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Q. What did Jack think when he first saw Ennis?
A. "That jacket is SOOOOO 1961."
Q. What did Ennis think when he first saw Jack?
-
Q. What did Ennis think when he first saw Jack?
A. Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who?
Q. What did Aguirre think when he first saw Jack and Ennis?
-
Q. What did Aguirre think when he first saw Jack and Ennis?
A. "These boys remind me of me and Uncle Harold..."
Q. What did Alma think when she first saw Jack?
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Q. What did Alma think when she first saw Jack?
"Who is that shemale with my Ennis?"
Q. What did mrs Twist think when she first saw Ennis?
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Q. What did mrs Twist think when she first saw Ennis?
A "Finally I'll get rid of those old shirts, and get some more room in that closet"
Q What did OMT think when he first saw Ennis?
-
A "Finally I'll get rid of those old shirts, and get some more room in that closet"
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Q What did OMT think when he first saw Ennis?
A. "Damn, my boy had good taste!"
Q. What did Ennis think when he first saw Cassie?
-
Q. What did Ennis think when he first saw Cassie?
A. "Uh oh.....here comes trouble..."
Q. What did LD think when he first saw Jack?
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Q. What did LD think when he first saw Jack?
"Finally someone who can be the duck to my stud."
::)
Q. What did the Mexican prostitute think when he first saw Jack?
-
"Finally someone who can be the duck to my stud."
;D ;D ;D
-
Q. What did the Mexican prostitute think when he first saw Jack?
A. "Dinero"
Q. What did Junior think when she first saw Cassie in Ennis' truck?
-
Q. What did Junior think when she first saw Cassie in Ennis' truck?
A. "Huhn - I didn't think Dad was straight!"
Q. What did Aguirre think when he saw Ennis and Jack frolicking?
-
Q. What did Aguirre think when he saw Ennis and Jack frolicking?
A. I can't believe I left my damn Super 8mm camera down there!
Q. What did Junior and Jenny think when they firsy saw Jack?
-
Q. What did Aguirre think when he saw Ennis and Jack frolicking?
A. "I hired sheep herders! I'll complain to the Farm and Ranch employment!! Had I wanted rose stemmers, I'd have hired them through Thorn and Petal employment!!
Q. What did Ennis think when he first saw OMT?
-
Q. What did Junior and Jenny think when they firsy saw Jack?
A. We knew it! Daddy likes people with names that begin with a "J"!!
Q. What did Ennis think when he first saw OMT?
-
Q. What did Ennis think when he first saw OMT?
A. "I sure don't see any of Jack in him. But he kinda reminds me of this guy:"
(http://shivskies.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/uglydog.jpg)
Q. What did Randall think when he first saw Lashawn?
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Q. What did Randall think when he first saw Lashawn?
A. "How do I turn the sound off?"
Q. What did the 10 different people in Riverton think when they first saw Jack?
-
Q. What did the 10 different people in Riverton think when they first saw Jack?
A. "Do you need an escort, sir?"
Q. What did Lureen think when she first saw Jack?
-
Q. What did Lureen think when she first saw Jack?
A. "Hm... I'm sure my red cowgirl hat would suit him real well"
Q. What did Jack think when he first saw Lureen?
-
Q. What did Lureen think when she first saw Jack?
A. Wow - he looks just like K.D. Lang!
Q. What did the sheep think during Ennis and Jack's first romp?
-
Q. What did the sheep think during Ennis and Jack's first romp?
A: Well, at least they're leaving us alone now!
Q: What did the Basque think when Ennis asked for soup?
-
A. We knew it! Daddy likes people with names that begin with a "J"!!
:laugh: good point!
-
Q: What did the Basque think when Ennis asked for soup?
A. What's that smell?
Q. What did Ennis think on the way to the Black and Blue Eagle bar?
-
Q. What did Ennis think on the way to the Black and Blue Eagle bar?
A. "I need a cosmo, and quick!"
Q. How did Ma Twist meet OMT?
-
Q. How did Ma Twist meet OMT?
A. They met at a contest called "Women with bad taste in men". She won the contest.
Q. How did Ennis and Alma meet?
-
Q. How did Ma Twist meet OMT?
A. They met at a contest called "Women with bad taste in men". She won the contest.
Q. How did Ennis and Alma meet?
A. They met at a contest called "Women with malfunctional gaydar". You can guess the outcome.
Q. Who was it Jack spent his first summer on Brokeback with?
-
Q. Who was it Jack spent his first summer on Brokeback with?
A. K.D. Lang's mother. The rest, as they, say, is history.
Q. What was the short story, Brokeback Mountain, originally titled?
-
Q. What was the short story, Brokeback Mountain, originally titled?
A. "If you can't fix it, you gotta swallow it, Mountain".
Q. What was Annie's original name?
-
Q. What was Annie's original name?
A. Annielotta Viktualia Rullgardina Krusmynta Efraimsdotter Proulx.
Q. Why did Junior break up with Troy?
-
Q. Why did Junior break up with Troy?
A. She was allergic to baseballs.
Q. Where did Jenny end up?
-
Q. Where did Jenny end up?
A. Sadly enough, she was raptured on the predicted day.
Q. Why did Jenny get raptured when nobody else did?
-
Q. Where did Jenny end up?
A. Sadly enough, she was raptured on the predicted day.
:laugh:
-
Q. Why did Jenny get raptured when nobody else did?
She was an angel, she had wings!
;D
What kind of mouthwash did Ennis use?
-
Q. What kind of mouthwash did Ennis use?
A. Old Rose.
Q. What tune to them bluebirds sing?
-
Q. What tune to them bluebirds sing?
A. Disco Inferno
Q. Jumping into the lake, who was Jake's stunt double?
-
Q. Jumping into the lake, who was Jake's stunt double?
Me!!! ;D >:D
Just exactly how many sheep were there?
-
Q Just exactly how many sheep were there?
A exactly 3758 sheep before FNIT
Q Why did the pup tent smell like cat piss?
-
Q Why did the pup tent smell like cat piss?
A. Cuz dogs are hard to pack.
Q. What was that fake hail made of?
-
Q. What was that fake hail made of?
A Dried peas, all painted white by hand
Q Why weren't the Chilean sheepherders herding their sheep in Chile?
-
Q Why weren't the Chilean sheepherders herding their sheep in Chile?
A. I hear what they got in Chile for shepherds like you.
Q. Where did Junior buy her clothes?
-
Q. Where did Junior buy her clothes?
A She sewed all her clothes herself, to save money for a smarter car.
Q Did Troy like working in the oil fields?
-
Q Did Troy like working in the oil fields?
A. Trick question: that was Kurt.
Q. Why didn't Ennis work in the oil fields?
-
A. Trick question: that was Kurt.
Good catch!
I obviously haven't done my homework.... :-\
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis work in the oil fields?
A Coz all that squirting fluid reminded him of Jack
Q What was the real reason Ennis didn't want to work at the power company?
-
Q What was the real reason Ennis didn't want to work at the power company?
A. Cuz he didn't like fishin' for electric eels.
Q. What was Troy's position on the baseball team?
-
Q. What was Troy's position on the baseball team?
A He was the goalkeeper, but not a very good one. That's why he didnt' play baseball any more.
Q What did Troy do instead of playing baseball?
-
A He was the goalkeeper, but not a very good one. That's why he didnt' play baseball any more.
There's no goalkeeper in baseball!
Q What did Troy do instead of playing baseball?
A. He batted for the other team.
Q. What was the name of Troy's team?
-
There's no goalkeeper in baseball!
Well, that explains why they didn't want him on the team, then.
-
Well, that explains why they didn't want him on the team, then.
He thought they were playing hockey.
-
Q. What was the name of Troy's team?
A The Not Goalkeepers
Q What was the name of the other team Troy batted for?
-
He thought they were playing hockey.
It's probably the same, more or less. Just without skates.
A bunch of guys in funny clothes, fighting over some tiny item. ::) ::)
-
Well, that explains why they didn't want him on the team, then.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
-
Q What was the name of the other team Troy batted for?
A. The Roughneck Riders.
Q. Who was cuter, Troy or Kurt?
-
Q. Who was cuter, Troy or Kurt?
A Depends on who you ask. Junior thought Kurt, Ennis thought Troy.
Q What did Ennis and Troy do when they met?
-
Q What did Ennis and Troy do when they met?
A. They played with their baseball bats.
Q. What kind of car did Troy drive?
-
Q. What kind of car did Troy drive?
A The kind with four wheels underneath and an engine to run them.
Q What did Troy do for a living?
-
Q What did Troy do for a living?
He was a leatherneck. Alma Jr. was a neck gal. ;)
What was the first thing Alma thought when she first saw Jack?
-
Q What was the first thing Alma thought when she first saw Jack?
A "Get lost! We're on our way to an outing with daddy!"
Q What did Jack think of Junior and Jenny?
-
I think it's time to revive this fine game!!
It's been a lot of fun, and it's a shame to let it just die.
So, here is a new start:
Q. Why did Ennis forget his creel case on the table when he left for his fishing trip?
-
Q. Why did Ennis forget his creel case on the table when he left for his fishing trip?
A. Cuz he never used it anyway.
Q. Why did Alma take so long to divorce Ennis?
-
Q. Why did Alma take so long to divorce Ennis?
A. She had to pay Monroe for all the broken peanut butter jars before she could propose to him.
Q. Did Junior ever get her new crayons?
-
Q. Did Junior ever get her new crayons?
A. yes, Jack gave her crayons after he and Ennis had moved to South Africa to become missionaries.
Q. Did Ang Lee ever meet Mark Wahlberg?
-
Q. Did Ang Lee ever meet Mark Wahlberg?
A. No, he doesn't socialize with criminals.
Q. Why didn't Joe want to hire Jack the next summer?
-
Q. Why didn't Joe want to hire Jack the next summer?
A. Cuz he already hired a gardener, um, rose stemmer.
Q. Why is Annie such a grouch?
-
Q. Why is Annie such a grouch?
A. Coz she didn't get a role in the movie. She so wanted to play Cassie!
Q. Where does Aguirre live?
-
Q. Where does Aguirre live?
A. Behind his binoculars, in a big evergreen tree.
Q. Why didn't the girls want a push "or sumpen"?