What I have found about funerals, is that they end up being more of a reunion, because people who havent seen one another for a long time, turn up at them. The sad thing about that is that the person who connects all these people, is not there to enjoy the reunion as well.
When Mom died, we had the funeral at the church. It was a very typical Roman Catholic Funeral Mass - white pall over the casket, incense, the whole nine yards. Since Mom wished to be cremated, we rented the casket. But here in the US they require the deceased to be placed in some sort of container for the cremation, so she was transfered into a simple wooden coffin at the crematory after the funeral was over and that is what she was cremated in. Several days later we took her ashes to Crown Hill Cemetery and interred them in a mausoleum. Dad's ashes will be placed in the vault next to her after he passes away. He also wishes to be cremated. So Mom's funeral was quite traditional and I suppose Dad's will be as well.
I like the idea of a traditional Catholic funeral also, so I guess I'd also like a Funeral Mass with some sort of party afterwards. Not one of those typical get togethers where everyone snacks on tiny sandwiches and cries, but an actual party. Maybe a pool party or something. They could maybe talk about me and have a few good laughs at my expense. I'd like that! :laugh:
When Ive been to a funeral, I often feel that protocol and tradition take over what it is really all about. Like when everyone goes into the church, and then the principal mourners are walked up the aisle like they are on display as all eyes are upon them.
And then to have a member of the clergy, who nine times out of ten does not even know the person who has died, just makes it very impersonal.
I do like the idea of playing music that relates to the person, I think that brings their presence more to the occassion, and thoughts of good times often bring a smile, or some tears, but they are usually good feeling tears.
And I dont think people should dress up in clothes that the dead person, would probably not recognise them in anyway. I like the way, the young ones wear jeans and black is not necessarily the colour of the day.
at my aunts funeral the preacher said that she was a whore and good thing she turned to God that last year...
>:( >:(
Injest, was that really said by him?
Was she?....and did she?
no and yes....she had two husbands die and got a divorce...other than that she was a kind and giving woman....she just didn't go to their church...that made her a whore...(that and getting a divorce)
not at your expense at all. just wait..you will be up there in Heaven and hear all your friends crying and giggling....(crying because they will miss you and giggling about God having to put rails around the clouds cause you are prone to falling and that is a LOOONNNNGG drop!)
at least til you get used to the wings...
;)
at my aunts funeral the preacher said that she was a whore and good thing she turned to God that last year...
>:( >:(
When my Dad died, the service and burial were all to be held at the cemetry.
Everyone arrived, as well as the hearse, only to find that the council had not dug the grave. So we all moved down the hill and stood under a tree while the council workers brought the digger in. .....It was not very pleasant.
Oh God Sue! That must have been terrible for you all! :'(
Yeah, Ive had better days.....
We buried my Mom on my birthday. That was the shits for me. My birthdays haven't felt the same since then.
at my aunts funeral the preacher said that she was a whore and good thing she turned to God that last year...
>:( >:(
Merci injest!
I believe you, but it sounds so unplaussible!
It is like some of my true life stories; one example, when the foreign doctor refused to take care of my buddy in the hospital: he called him: A FIVE DOLLAR PIG !
I still can not talk about it to-day, since when I do, nobody beleives me !
You understand my nervousness to talk about that dire time?
Au revoir,
hugs!
When my Dad died, the service and burial were all to be held at the cemetry.
Everyone arrived, as well as the hearse, only to find that the council had not dug the grave. So we all moved down the hill and stood under a tree while the council workers brought the digger in. .....It was not very pleasant.
Gosh, Sue, I don't think I would have been able to cope, if that would have happened at my Mum or Dad's funerals. Very distressing.
We buried my Mom on my birthday. That was the shits for me. My birthdays haven't felt the same since then.
That must have been such a terribly sad day for you, David.
:-* {{{ David }}} :-*
I had my 41st birthday, about a week before my Mum died. She had been in extreme pain and was highly medicated on morphine for the last couple of weeks of her life. I was Mum's youngest son and we were always very close. Mum and Dad had always made a fuss of me on my birthday. I remember sitting beside Mum's bed, holding her hand and saying, "It's my birthday today, Mum." She just looked at me blankly, her morphine-doped eyes gazing into mine, as if to say "Who are you?"
Oh God Kerry, I had a similar experience. Mom was staying at home up until about three weeks before she died. The day we took her to the hospital for the final time, I came over to cook some lunch for her. Dad wanted to play golf. I remember what she had for lunch too. She said she wasn't hungry but I wanted her to eat something so I heated up a slice of pizza and a fish stick. When I checked on her later on she was nearly unresponsive. Dad had just arrived back home and we called the doctor and he told us to get her to the hospital. We sat her up in bed, she had wet herself and as I was dressing her she kept looking up at me with a very confused look on her face, one of those "Who are you?" looks. She was very frightened and confused but she never said anything. She just kept looking up at me with that confused look on her face. I'll never forget it. A few days later at the hospital she appeared to be getting a little better but she had leukemia so we knew it really wasn't true. But she was talking with us again and fairly alert. I had a really nice visit with her a couple of days before she died. She thought she was in a hotel, and she thought the hallway was a street. The next day she dropped into a coma and she died the following day. :'(
She died on September 22 2003 at 10:35 in the morning, and the funeral was held on September 25, 2003 at 10:30 am. This will be the 5th anniversary of her death. :(
I do like the idea of playing music that relates to the person, I think that brings their presence more to the occassion, and thoughts of good times often bring a smile, or some tears, but they are usually good feeling tears.
What I have found about funerals, is that they end up being more of a reunion, because people who havent seen one another for a long time, turn up at them. The sad thing about that is that the person who connects all these people, is not there to enjoy the reunion as well.
My mom was sick for five years with cancer. Her family never visited her when she was alive because they were afraid to fly. My dad was really mad that they showed up for the funeral. Far better to visit her alive than her in a coffin.
I also want to be buried with all my favourite things in life (books etc) hey I might only be 5'4" but my coffin better be big enough for all the stuff I want to take with me