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Our BetterMost Community => Creative Writer's Corner => Topic started by: jstephens9 on November 28, 2008, 02:33:56 am

Title: A New York Christmas
Post by: jstephens9 on November 28, 2008, 02:33:56 am
Here is a story I started writing tonight because it just came to me. I wish people would comment on it. I tried a Jack/Ennis type story and I got nothing from it although in other places it went over. So I am going to try again with something that is not related to Brokeback Mountain. It is just an opening.
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: jstephens9 on November 28, 2008, 02:49:00 am
“Nice night, don’t you think?”

Somewhere in my mind I heard this, but didn’t really realize anyone was around and saying anything. I was watching the snowflakes fall with the lights of the city all around me. I was almost in trance lost somewhere deep in my own thoughts.

I looked beside me and there was a guy standing there leaning up against the railing apparently watching the same wintry scene as me.  I wasn’t even really sure he was speaking to me so I looked around to see who he else he might be talking to. There was nobody else around that he could be talking to but me.  I said, “Yeah, it looks like something out of a movie.”

“You know what it reminds me of. It is like being inside one of those snow globes. You ever seen those snow globes they sell of the city.”

“Yeah, I have. In fact I have some of those at home. Souvenirs I guess you could say.”

“Well, now you got the real thing,” he chuckled. Some kind of light reflected on his face. I could see the glimmering blue of his eyes. He was rather tall and appeared to have dark close cut hair. He appeared lean and wore a dark coat that did not really appear heavy enough for the cool of the night.“

"I guess I do, now what will I do if I can’t ever get out?” I laughed.

“Well, I guess then you will just have to make the best of it. And you’re not alone cause if you are trapped in here then so am I.”

As I looked at this man standing beside me, my mind had thoughts that I would probably not complain about that. But, of course, I knew that whoever this was would just be a passing memory of a conversation in the snow of New York City during the holidays. I had never been in the city during Christmas although I had thought about it often. All the other times I had been here it was in the middle of summer and much, much warmer. My mind seemed to go back into the trance I had been in before. I was thinking about a love I had, a love I still had in my heart, who I wish could be standing right there with me. I had talked to him earlier on the computer like I had done for the last eight years. After our conversation ended I just wanted to immerse myself in the lights of the city and the heavy snow that was falling. After all, here I was in the greatest city in the world during the most wonderful time of the year. He knew where I was, he always knew where I was. He just couldn’t be there with me like he could never be there with me. I told him that it would be so magical if he were there with me. I felt like this Christmas would be special and I guess it was cause here I was.

“Hey are you still there?”

The man beside me spoke again and made me aware of his presence.

“I’m sorry, I was just thinking about the snow, and New York, and the lights, and all.” I half way apologized for ignoring him.

“You worried about being stuck here with me in the snow globe.” He chuckled again.

“No, I’m not worried about that. It is actually a really beautiful place. I don’t guess it would be all that bad to be trapped in here, but it might get cold.”

“Well, you got a bigger coat on than I do.”

“You should have thought about putting on a bigger coat if you planned on getting stranded in a snow globe.” I laughed.

Something about this guy seemed so familiar although I had never met him before. There was something about those blue eyes, that laugh, that accent that was hard to understand sometimes.

“Are you from here?” he said.

“No, just visiting, how about you?”

He laughed, “Well you could have fooled me with that accent. Yes, I am from New York City.”

“Really, originally, you don’t really sound like it.” I looked at him and I saw the glimmer of his blue eyes. It was almost like a sparkle, like something magical.

He laughed, “No, I am not from here. I am just visiting. I never been here. I have just heard of it. Somebody told me it was a place I should see so here I am.”

“It’s a wonderful city. So many tall buildings, so many lights, so much energy. I love it here, but I can’t imagine ever living here. I am from the country back in the mountains of North Carolina.”

“Do you live in a log cabin on a mountain?” He said looking at me intently, once again his blue eyes looking at me stronger than ever.

“How did you know that? Yes I do. Are you some kind of psychic or something?”

“Well I just heard that people from the mountains of North Carolina live in log cabins on the sides of mountains. I sure ain’t no psychic.” He laughed again.

“Where are you from?”

“Well I’m from Texas.”

I recognized the accent so I wasn’t surprised. My long time friend was from Texas so even though it had been a long time since I had heard his voice I remembered the accent. He used to call me and I still had one of his voicemails on my answering machine. I would never erase that. I even listened to it sometimes.

“I have a good friend and even relatives in Texas. I hear the accent in your voice.”

He then seemed to get quiet and both of us spent many moments looking out into the city lights through the falling snow. Finally I said, “Hey, I’m not making fun of your accent.”

“ I know you’re not. Was just thinking when I came up and said something to you, you seemed like you were somewhere else, somewhere in deep thought. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“You didn’t disturb me. Guess I was just thinking about things that I thought could be and I don’t guess can be. It’s a long story and I sure don’t want to bore you with it.”

“Well then why tell it to me in this cold. Hey, you drink Jack Daniels or do you like it?”

“That is what I always drink. Ole JD is my friend.” I laughed.

“Well, let’s get one then up here at this bar I passed on the corner. You want to?”

I said, “Hell yeah, let’s go for it.” He smiled, blue eyes shining once again.

We walked back up the street towards the lights of Times Square, snow blowing hard in our faces, he jokingly acted like he was falling down. I said, “You do that and I’m not sure I would be able to pick you up.” I laughed.

“You know I’m just a big ole cowboy, I can handle falling down every once in awhile.”

“Damn, so I have a cowboy in New York City I have to make sure doesn’t fall down.” I laughed.

I thought somehow this was just another one of those strange things that seems to happen to me. Here I am walking through the streets of New York City in the snow with Christmas lights so bright with some guy from Texas for a drink of Jack Daniels who happens to be talking about being a big ole cowboy. I guess it was a coincidence, some cruel joke in a way, but yet I felt good.
 
We entered some bar that was more than heavily decorated with Christmas lights. “All I Want For Christmas” by Mariah Carey was playing rather loudly in the background. The place was packed. The lights were flashing. I felt good, somehow the Christmas spirit had taken me out of the trance I felt I had been in for so long.

We found a table that seemed to have this enormous view of the Empire State Building, an almost magical view. I knew I had to stay focused on everything cause I already had a few drinks of JD while talking to the guy who I had known for so long. I sure did not want to be too drunk wandering around New York City in the middle of the night. New York’s finest are great as long as you are on their side.  For some reason I felt a safe and warm feeling inside though.

A waitress with a really good view of her tits came up to the table. He ordered four double shots of Jack Daniels. I thought “Damn I got to watch it, the hotel is quite a few blocks away.” He said, “Damn, boy, these waitresses here don’t leave a lot to the imagination.”

I said, “Yeah.” Well, one thing I knew for sure was that my companion was straight which was fine. Typically anybody I ever met on my travels was straight and that was perfectly fine with me.

In the light of the bar, I saw that my companion was like I had described my other friend from Texas. He was as if I had drawn a picture of who I would want if I had my choice of anyone. He was just the same as I had seen when I saw the first picture of my other friend who had been my life for 8 years. I felt guilty for thinking this.

The waitress, Audrey, brought drinks, lot of drinks, six damn shots of straight JD. He said, “To the mountain.” And drank one of the shots down. I looked at him in some kind of amazement and swallowed down my shot.  I said, “Damn good.” He said, “But it was damn good.” What in the hell was going on? Had I entered some kind of twilight zone where everything is not really real? These were the same words my guy and I had exchanged for so many years.

He said, “Hey, you see that building over there?”

“Which one?  There are lots of buildings over there.”

“The biggest one.”

“The Empire State Building?”

“Yep, that’s the one. You want to go and see what the city looks like from there?”

“That would be great. I have been there before in the summer, but would it still be open?”

“Oh yeah, it is. Somebody told me it was beautiful from up there.”

He gave me the biggest smile and said, “Let’s drink these drinks down and head up there. Who knows maybe somebody might kiss me at midnight.”

“Well if you find somebody that will.” I kidded him thinking that he thought he might find some girl up there. I figured the tits of the waitress had him turned on.

I was also thinking in my mind that would mean I would have about ten blocks to walk back to the hotel and then I realized I worried too much. It was the night. It was the time. It was the holidays and I was in New York City. It wasn’t like we were going to be riding in some kind of weird taxi cab in Los Angeles to a gentleman’s club near South Central or wherever we were.

So we drank down the JD quickly. I thought it was kind of strange in a way that he didn’t find it a big deal that I had no problem doing that with no chaser or anything. I don’t guess it is a big deal, but at one time I would have thought it would be.

We headed for the Empire State Building through even heavier snow than what had been falling when we met. The city was truly beautiful. It looked like what I had seen in so many movies and television shows, but it was real there in Technicolor and high definition or whatever. I was in the middle of it with some cowboy from Texas who reminded me so much of a person I had loved so long and wanted to be with so long.

It seemed I had to take the lead in getting us there. I guess I knew the city more than he did. We entered the mighty doors of one of the greatest buildings in the world.  We went through the security checkpoints on the way to the elevators and I noticed that he put some kind of badge in the tray. I wasn’t really worried about that, but I thought it was strange in a way. It seemed to take a long time for us to finally get on the elevator, but I had been there before and that was pretty usual. With it being Christmas I was surprised it wasn’t even longer.

While we were waiting he said, “Are you staying at a hotel here or with friends?”

I said, “I am staying at a hotel in Times Square. How about you?”

He said, “Yeah, I am too, but I didn’t have much to choose from, so it is not the best. I guess you are staying at one of the best. I did not expect to be here so I just had to take what I could find.”

“What did you come at the last minute?”

“Well I never expected to be here, but it just happened, and I got a flight and here I am in a city I don’t know nothing about. The warden told me to head out and this is where I knew I needed to head out too.”
I thought what in the hell is he talking about, the warden is what I have heard the guy I know call the wife. Or else this guy is some kind of convict.

So I just played it cool, knowing that this guy was not the guy I knew, and we would just go to the top of the Empire State Building and that would be the end of this weird night.
 





Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: Kelda on November 28, 2008, 06:02:37 am
Interesting Jack. Is there going to be more?
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: jstephens9 on November 28, 2008, 09:46:33 am
Interesting Jack. Is there going to be more?

Yes, there will be more.....well if I get comments like this wanting more  :)
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: Kelda on November 28, 2008, 10:30:01 am
more please!!
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: injest on November 28, 2008, 10:57:31 am
very good, dear Jack!!

really like the 'snowglobe' opening. Sounded very natural and 'real' to me. dialogue is so difficult for me, you do it well!
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: jstephens9 on November 28, 2008, 12:24:59 pm
very good, dear Jack!!

really like the 'snowglobe' opening. Sounded very natural and 'real' to me. dialogue is so difficult for me, you do it well!

Well thank you Jess  ;D
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: injest on November 28, 2008, 12:32:43 pm
Well thank you Jess  ;D

more please!!!


 ;) ;)
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: jstephens9 on November 29, 2008, 01:40:42 am
Here is part 2 of whatever this is I am putting together  ;)
*************************************************
I remembered that one elevator went to some floor, I couldn’t remember which one, and then you had to get on a different one to go to the 86th floor where the observation deck was.  At one point in time you could go to the observation deck on the 102nd floor, but you have to have some kind of special permission or be there at some special time to go up there. The 86th floor was high enough though since all those other skyscrapers looked like toys from up there. The other time I had been there was at night too and I had planned on doing this during the day if I came back to visit. Well, of course, I had no intention of being here anyway until I ran into my new friend.

The elevators are fast at the Empire State Building. It was funny they could go up all those floors faster than many in three story buildings. We switched elevators and were headed towards the 86th floor. Well that is where I thought we were headed, but the door opened and the sign said 102nd floor observation deck. I thought how in the world did we end up here?

“Hey, what’s wrong with you? You look like you saw a ghost or something?” He looked concerned.

“No, I’m fine, I just thought we would be going to or rather would stop at the 86th floor. They don’t usually take people all the way to the 102nd floor.”

“Well you were wrong.” He smiled, blue eyes glimmering.

“I guess maybe with it being Christmas or something.”

“Well don’t question it cause we are here if that is ok with you. Just relax and enjoy.”

“Yeah it’s amazing.” Of course what was not amazing about this night so far?
 
We walked out on the observation deck and the view was amazing for sure. The lights of the city were so far beneath us. It was like we were looking down from heaven or something.  I had remembered how small things looked the last time I was here and now, well, they looked even smaller. And it was cold, extremely cold. The wind blew the snow in. It would hit the side of the building and then bounce back and pour over us.

“Hey, is that the side of the snow globe?” I laughed.

“Yeah, how did you know? Like I said, we are stuck in here, we can’t go any further. Glass surrounds us and keeps us safe.” He seemed to be in deep thought.

“Well that’s not a bad thing. Right?”

He looked deep into my eyes and said, “No, I think that could definitely be a good thing.” The gaze was one of those when you knew you should turn away, but something inside of you would not let you. Finally I broke the stare and I looked back out over the city. It’s funny I know there were other people around, but I don’t remember hearing anything or seeing anyone. It truly was like I was in some other world.

I laughed.

“Now, what’s so funny?”

“Do you think all those people down there know that it is us who is dumping the snow on them? After all if this is as far as we can go, where else would it be coming from?”

“Hey, they don’t care where it is coming from. They are just having fun and enjoying it all.”

“Well, that makes two of us then. All of them down there and me.”

“What about me, you left me out.” He said in a hurt way. “Hey it’s me you’re stuck in this snow globe with, remember, so I think you better change that to three.” He laughed and looked back at me about to engage me once again in one of those stares. I avoided it and I really don’t know why.

“Well I didn’t want to just assume you were having fun and enjoying it all, but I’m glad you are. You know it is truly amazing up here. I have had dreams about this same scene so many times.”

“Oh really, was I there?” He smiled.

“Well, I don’t know, somebody was, but I’m not sure who.”

“Well, there’s the answer. If you don’t know it must have been me.”

“Hey, I don’t even know your name. I just thought about that. What do I call you? Hey you?”

“Roger, the name is Roger.”

“Did your folks just”

He interrupted, “Hey I know that line………Hastings. Roger Hastings. And you must be Steve? Maybe Steve Jackson?”

I looked at him shocked. “How did you know that?”

“It’s no big mystery, I saw it on that name tag you had to put on the tray at the security check.” He got a big laugh out of that. “Well unless you go around carrying other people’s name badges.”

“No you are right. I was beginning to think you were truly some kind of psychic or something.”

“Nope, I’m just a good ole country boy from Texas. Remember I already told you that. I don’t have any magical powers or I wouldn’t have got trapped in a snow globe.”

“But look what you would have missed out on. Maybe you do have magical powers and you just don’t know it.”

He smiled, glanced at me, and then turned his eyes out over the city.

“You must be freezing. I keep forgetting that you don’t have a big enough coat on.”

“I’m fine. I’m warm within. I didn’t have time to grab a big coat I don’t guess. You know in Texas it doesn’t get this cold.”

“Well, when we get down from here, maybe we can have another JD. That will warm you up.” I thought about what he said about not having time to grab a big coat. Who was this guy I had got myself tangled up with? I knew I had a history of getting into some strange situations so was some kind of ball going to drop out of the sky and shatter this magical world I had found.

“You know I hate to leave up here, but I guess they are going to close soon.” He said rather sadly. Suddenly a flash went off into the night sky behind me. It was him with a camera.

“Hey you’re not supposed to be taking pictures of me.”

“Well how else will I remember you at this exact second without one?”

Hey I have one too, I pulled out a camera and snapped one of him.

His eyes lit up the entire night sky as snow blew in upon us.




Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: injest on November 29, 2008, 01:58:27 am
hmmm...very romantic...what happens now!!?
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: Kelda on November 29, 2008, 07:22:47 pm
 :D

good!!!
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: mariez on November 29, 2008, 07:49:56 pm
Jack, I just read both parts and really enjoyed them!  I've always loved snow globes and the idea of being in one is so lovely and romantic, plus you've got a nice little mystery going here, too.  I'm looking forward to more.   :)

Thanks,
Marie
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: jstephens9 on November 29, 2008, 10:55:10 pm
Jack, I just read both parts and really enjoyed them!  I've always loved snow globes and the idea of being in one is so lovely and romantic, plus you've got a nice little mystery going here, too.  I'm looking forward to more.   :)

Thanks,
Marie

Marie,

Thank you for your comments Marie. I really appeciate that. And yes there will be more  ;)

Jack
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: jstephens9 on November 30, 2008, 12:30:02 am
Part 3

It seemed that neither of us really wanted to leave this spot perched high above the city and we kept hesitating to leave. Maybe we both feared something; maybe we both feared that this would be the end. At least that was what was going through my mind.

“Well, they haven’t said anything about leaving yet, but there’s not too many people left up here, but you and I.” Roger said.

“Yeah, what if they lock the doors and we get left up here all night?”

“Well would that be so bad? What you don’t like my company?” he questioned jokingly.

“No I just don’t think that both of us freezing to death is a good option for how this should end.” I laughed.

“What’s ending?”

“Nothing is ending that I know of. I meant our night on top of the world here.”

There was a snow covered bench on the observation deck. Roger brushed away the snow and motioned for me to sit down. I said, “I thought we were leaving?”

“We are, but just a few more minutes.” He leaned over the guard rail.

“Hey, you better watch it; it’s a long way down.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I was just thinking, you know about the Titanic?”

“Yes it sank.”

“No, the movie Titanic? You remember when they were standing on the bow of the ship like they were on top of the world?”

“I love that movie. Yes of course I remember that scene. My Heart Will Go On and On.”

“Yep, Celine Dion, my favorite song in the world. It has such a haunting sound. It takes me away sometimes to a place that exists only in my heart.”

Once again he was bringing things up that only one other person and I had ever talked about. I had forgotten about questioning though. I wasn’t sure what I was in, but whatever it was I just wanted it to continue as long as possible.

“So why did you clear this bench of snow if you are gonna lean over the railing?” I laughed.

“Oh yeah, I forgot.” He came and sat beside me, close enough to where I felt a little uncomfortable. Why? I don’t know. I don’t think this man could ever really make me uncomfortable. It was rather a fear of the unknown. A fear of what would or would not happen next.

He gazed into my eyes again, “You know one touch and I bet I could warm you up through and through.”

I continued the gaze into his sparkling blue eyes and said nothing.  I thought to myself there was no way this guy who appeared so straight could possibly be straight. If he were why would I be here and why would he be looking at me as he was. I have a problem of questioning all the whys and why not’s so I just stayed quiet. At this moment in time there was no other world than the one he and I were in. It was if I would suddenly wake up and find only a pillow like had happened so many times before. Find myself in my bedroom looking up at the ceiling wondering why.

Wherever the other people were I don’t know. There seemed to be no one around. He came closer to me and put his arms around me. “Now are you warm? I know how to warm you up.”

I smiled at him continuing that same gaze. I saw a world I had never seen in his eyes. The reality that I tended to live in too deeply suddenly seemed to strike me. I broke the gaze and pulled away a bit. Thoughts raced through my head of what I was doing and with whom. He said, “What’s wrong?”

“Well, we haven’t really talked and I don’t even know what is going on.” I glanced down for a second.

“Well, we have talked more than you could ever imagine and this time is meant to be. You’re the one who told me about fate or rather I told you about it. Like I said relax and enjoy this time we have.”

He kissed me so hard, so deep, and so fast that I didn’t even know it was happening. I had no time to question it.  It seemed that every firework that had ever been invented all went off in my head and suddenly I was so far away in some other world that I never wanted to return. I never wanted to leave his arms. I wanted to remain there forever. I’m not sure how long that kiss lasted or who was watching or anything. I didn’t really care. After all, this was my world that I had found. Nobody else could interfere with that.

But then all of a sudden it seemed we were still sitting there on that bench. Did that touch, those arms of his around me, and that kiss even happen?  It seemed that they did, but were these moments so strong that I just made a fantasy up in my mind? I truly didn’t know. All I know is that he was there looking at me with that gaze that was no fantasy.


Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: Kelda on November 30, 2008, 08:08:55 am
ooh!
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: Monika on November 30, 2008, 01:32:30 pm
This is great, Jack. I didn´t know you were a writer. I´d love to read more.
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: injest on November 30, 2008, 01:34:48 pm
 ;D ;D

getting warm or what??
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: jstephens9 on November 30, 2008, 03:22:38 pm
This is great, Jack. I didn´t know you were a writer. I´d love to read more.

Hey Monika, I'm really glad you stopped by to read the story so far. Actually, a writer is what I had always wanted and meant to be, but it just didn't ever work out. I started writing back when I was only around 11 or 12 years old. When I went to college that was the direction I planned on going in and I had quite a bit of encouragement from teachers. However, the strangest thing happened and that is college seemed to make me loose the creativity I had. It seemed that there were all these rules I was supposed to follow and by trying to do that I lost the creativity. However, I have never lost my interest in writing so maybe I can forget the rules and bring back the creativity. I truly don't believe in rules when it comes to any creative process.
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: injest on November 30, 2008, 03:32:13 pm
Hey Monika, I'm really glad you stopped by to read the story so far. Actually, a writer is what I had always wanted and meant to be, but it just didn't ever work out. I started writing back when I was only around 11 or 12 years old. When I went to college that was the direction I planned on going in and I had quite a bit of encouragement from teachers. However, the strangest thing happened and that is college seemed to make me loose the creativity I had. It seemed that there were all these rules I was supposed to follow and by trying to do that I lost the creativity.  However, I have never lost my interest in writing so maybe I can forget the rules and bring back the creativity. I truly don't believe in rules when it comes to any creative process.

This is exactly what happened with my writing, Jack. I tried to take lessons since I was told I wasnt' writing 'correctly'...it gave me the worst writers block. I lost my natural 'voice'...which was what some people said they liked so well.

funny thing is I was warned by a dear friend that I trust very much that is exactly what would happen, he told me that I would lose that which made me unique and special.. :-\

I still get the urge now and again but I dont' write anymore.
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: jstephens9 on November 30, 2008, 04:57:15 pm
This is exactly what happened with my writing, Jack. I tried to take lessons since I was told I wasnt' writing 'correctly'...it gave me the worst writers block. I lost my natural 'voice'...which was what some people said they liked so well.

funny thing is I was warned by a dear friend that I trust very much that is exactly what would happen, he told me that I would lose that which made me unique and special.. :-\

I still get the urge now and again but I dont' write anymore.

I think that is very true Jess and I have heard it from other people as well. Rules will rid you of the natural voice you talk of. That was what people used to say I had. Maybe I can find it again. And by the way, you haven't really given up writing since after all you do write on here.
Title: Re: A New York Christmas
Post by: Monika on November 30, 2008, 05:03:54 pm
Hey Monika, I'm really glad you stopped by to read the story so far. Actually, a writer is what I had always wanted and meant to be, but it just didn't ever work out. I started writing back when I was only around 11 or 12 years old. When I went to college that was the direction I planned on going in and I had quite a bit of encouragement from teachers. However, the strangest thing happened and that is college seemed to make me loose the creativity I had. It seemed that there were all these rules I was supposed to follow and by trying to do that I lost the creativity. However, I have never lost my interest in writing so maybe I can forget the rules and bring back the creativity. I truly don't believe in rules when it comes to any creative process.
Good to hear that you´re back to writing, Jack. The only good thing about knowing about the rules is that you later can break them :)


This is exactly what happened with my writing, Jack. I tried to take lessons since I was told I wasnt' writing 'correctly'...it gave me the worst writers block. I lost my natural 'voice'...which was what some people said they liked so well.

funny thing is I was warned by a dear friend that I trust very much that is exactly what would happen, he told me that I would lose that which made me unique and special.. :-\

I still get the urge now and again but I dont' write anymore.
Yeah, I can relate. I took a class in script writing at university and it wasn´t a good experience at all.
Someone told me once that "there is only one rule when it comes to writing and that is that there are no rules" and I think that´s true

I write a little nowadays but I too find it hard to find that unique voice.

Update soon, Jack!