BetterMost, Wyoming & Brokeback Mountain Forum
Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond => Brokeback Mountain Fan Fiction & Poetry => Topic started by: Scott6373 on November 13, 2006, 12:07:30 pm
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Chapter 1
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/667.html
Chapter 2
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/790.html
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Chapter 3
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/1072.html
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Hi Scott,
I liked reading the first two chapters, I thought the ending of the 2nd chapter was especially well-written:
“Ennis?” He stopped but didn’t turn around. “Ennis…do you…um…still see that Jack fella?”
The thunder and storm that were outside were no match for the raging cannonade in Ennis now. He never wanted to hear his name come out of Alma’s mouth again. Standing rooted where he stood, the words just fell out of him.
“He’s dead.” Then, he was out of the door, bell ringing cheerily behind him, thunder and rain crashing down on his head. He made his way quickly down Broadway toward his truck, pausing only briefly at the Exxon long enough to notice that the “Help Wanted” sign was gone. He continued on.
:'(
Thanks for posting!
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Hi Scott,
This is my favorite line, "Alma and Junior could not have invited more of the people that Ennis hated if they tried." Nice story. And are you headed toward Ennis meeting someone new in Casper - say the stable owner? I think you have the right tone in your story. You may consider a beta-reader to help just a little with smoothing out the flow of words. Keep going.
cc33 / Leslie
ps Mendelson wrote the wedding procession for a friend of his, not Wagner. Wagner would be a bit overwhelming for a little church wedding. :)
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Thanks for the suggestion. Actually Felix wrote the traditional recessional music. The traditional processional music is indeed Wagner...from "Lohengrin", and is in fact called "The Bridal Chorus".
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I stand corrected. sorry. cc33
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Chapter 4
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/1506.html#cutid1
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Chapter 1
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/667.html
Chapter 2
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/790.html
I like your new title also..scott
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Chapter 5
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/1575.html
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Chapter 6
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/1889.html
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Chapter Seven
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/2107.html
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Chapter 8
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/2366.html#cutid1
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Chapter 9
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/2780.html
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I can't beleive I've written 10 of these suckers.
Chapter 10
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/2909.html
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I can't beleive I've written 10 of these suckers.
Chapter 10
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/2909.html
well, don't just stop at 15 okay? ;)
checking your lj daily is something new on my list! thank you for writing this.
F
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I can't beleive I've written 10 of these suckers.
Chapter 10
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/2909.html
Mobody knows the trouble ive seen..oh my god i laughed my butt off. you are my hero...love that avatar/// where did you get that one? huh huh huh..
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It's my puppy Janice.
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Hi folks. Chapter 11 is going to be a rather long and complicated one. I was hoping to get it done today, but chances are not good that I will. It will be done by Monday, and if by some miracle...sooner.
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Hi folks. Chapter 11 is going to be a rather long and complicated one. I was hoping to get it done today, but chances are not good that I will. It will be done by Monday, and if by some miracle...sooner.
well, let's pray for a miracle then! :)
rather long: great!
complicated: interesting!
have a good weekend
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Hi folks. Chapter 11 is going to be a rather long and complicated one. I was hoping to get it done today, but chances are not good that I will. It will be done by Monday, and if by some miracle...sooner.
glad to hear its going to be long you know i like them like that. take care . janice \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
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Chapter 11 (in two parts_
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/3723.html#cutid1
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/3975.html#cutid1
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Chapter 12
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/4124.html
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Chapter 12
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/4124.html
well scott, i must say you gave us a lot to think about in this chapter..lee draws back from ennis and feels like he is not wanted. ennis now draws back and feels pushed away, and.....the fishing thing...does lee think he has a different fishing buddy as well...then the new newsome,,, heh,,,he better not get involved with a different man, or he wil lose ennis for good...he is a very jealous and prideful man....nobody touch my man type..and i think he is starting to feel somewhat territorial already after the episode on the beach thank you really enjoying this....write faster write faster................ janice
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Chapter 13
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/4363.html
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I am really enjoying this story, Scott. You have some lovely little interludes, such as Ennis seeing the Atlantic Ocean for the first time. That was wonderful.
Hugs,
L
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Chapter 14
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/4709.html
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Chapter 15
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/4953.html
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Chapter 16
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/5542.html
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Chapter 17
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/5672.html
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Chapter 18
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/5961.html
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Chapter 19
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/6242.html
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Chapter 20
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/6413.html
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thank you so very much scott for sharing this story with all of us...it has been a journey
that i would not have missed for the world,,,and i hope you get well soon and feel your
normal self.. whatever that is..................................love you more than my kleenex
janice
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Epilogue
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/6699.html
I just want to thank everyone who has taken the time out fo their busy lives to read this story. I had thought I would be quite relieved when it was done, but I can't help myself from feeling a sense of loss as well. It's been a very interesting journey, and I thank you all for taking it with me.
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Scott,
Thank you for this story. I know what you mean about that feeling when it is over...
Hugs,
L
xo
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Scott,
Let me say that I like your writing style. Your prose is fresh, fluid, and colorful. Your dramatic sensibilities and plotting are well-honed and very effective. This was quite an emotional story with many facets. I like that you wrote the plot in such a sparse manner, being careful to give enough detail and depth to keep us engaged without inundating the reader or tipping your hand.
This story has a special fragility to it. Ennis and Lee are fragile, troubled people looking for answers in a harsh world. I am happy that Lee came into Ennis’ life and vice versa. They really needed each other for a variety of reasons. I was happy to read the epilogue and discover that Lee had been a friend—even if posthumously—to Jack too.
Now let me see if I have solved your puzzle. Jack did not die, rather he assumed a new identity in the guise of Bill Newsome. He and Ennis continued to live in their conundrum of “fishing trips.” Lee comes along, and Ennis meets another gay man for the first time in his life. Their friendship teaches Ennis about life and love. Maybe Ennis even confides in Lee about what has been going on with “Bill Newsome.” After Lee passes away and leaves the ranch to Ennis, Ennis finds that Lee has given him the courage and the means to “make it right” with Bill/Jack. Ennis finally gives in to the dream of the sweet life, and bring Jack to the ranch to live out the rest of his days in happiness and love.
For me, the big surprise in this story is that Ennis passes away first. This is the only story that I have read in this fandom that takes that path.
It is Ennis’ revelations about life and love that are central to this story. Those three lessons that he testifies to at Lee’s funeral are the lessons that he has been needing to learn his entire life. And I hope that your readers heed those lessons and take them to heart.
Thank you for writing a tale that is entertaining, passionate, and affirming all at once.
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Milo, i loved reading your thoughts on this story. Very insightful and true. I really liked the scene in the story where Ennis and Lee are 'communicating' through music, Lee playing the piano and Ennis being his audience. That was very poetic and powerful.
Thank you for writing this story Scott. :)
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Hi, Scott, I just read this story, I’m glad I finally started it today and I finished it in one go. This is a powerful story. I have to say though the storyline is pretty dramatic but I like your style of writing, and your usage of words and how you handled those emotional scenes stood out to me; you did not attempt to punch the emotions into our minds, instead you just let them flow from your words and let us feel the effect ourselves. Ennis is blessed to have this understanding friend in Lee who guided him out of his fear of being a homosexual person. If you would write another story, I will definitely read it.
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I have recieved so many wonderful messages, that I have decided to make this the first story in a trilogy. I am beginning (very slowly) on the second, which will be called "The Moments Between". It will take up Jack's story during the same time period of "The Heart of the Matter". I'll probably start a new thread for that story.
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I,too, have enjoyed this tale immensely. I have been posting remarks on BrokebackSlash at http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/. As I said there, your prose was like poetry in many scenes. The turn of the phrase brought up so many visuals and brought the words to life.
Also, I was hoping you would do the story from Jack's point of view. And, make it a trilogy, covering the "sweet life" between Lees' death and Ennis' death. However, the title "The Moments Between" was already used for a multi-part fanfic by lolitary. Another good story, it starts in 1975 and continues on. It can be found on her journal at http://lolitaray.livejournal.com/
I do recall two other fanfics where Ennis dies first, and try as I might, I can't remember the names. I think they are available on BrokebackSlash, or on Wranglers at http://community.livejournal.com/wranglers/.
One involves Ennis meeting up with a spirit Mother Bear on one of their camping trips. The Bear convinces Ennis to change his mind, take a chance. Ennis does, and they live together for almost thirty years, when Ennis dies of a sudden heart attack in Jack's arms at their ranch. More happens, but don't want to spoil it.
The second involved two or three small stories, strung together. There is a funeral, and a man attends. The wife greets him. At the end, the man decides to go home to his parents' ranch in Lightning Flat. One or two related stories follow, before the plot line is resolved. Again, don't want to spoil it!
Glad to have found this story. Keep up the great writing. Looking forward to Jack's point of view, and why Ennis would tell Alma that his Jack was dead.
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I,too, have enjoyed this tale immensely. I have been posting remarks on BrokebackSlash at http://community.livejournal.com/brokebackslash/. As I said there, your prose was like poetry in many scenes. The turn of the phrase brought up so many visuals and brought the words to life.
Also, I was hoping you would do the story from Jack's point of view. And, make it a trilogy, covering the "sweet life" between Lees' death and Ennis' death. However, the title "The Moments Between" was already used for a multi-part fanfic by lolitary. Another good story, it starts in 1975 and continues on. It can be found on her journal at http://lolitaray.livejournal.com/
I do recall two other fanfics where Ennis dies first, and try as I might, I can't remember the names. I think they are available on BrokebackSlash, or on Wranglers at http://community.livejournal.com/wranglers/.
One involves Ennis meeting up with a spirit Mother Bear on one of their camping trips. The Bear convinces Ennis to change his mind, take a chance. Ennis does, and they live together for almost thirty years, when Ennis dies of a sudden heart attack in Jack's arms at their ranch. More happens, but don't want to spoil it.
The second involved two or three small stories, strung together. There is a funeral, and a man attends. The wife greets him. At the end, the man decides to go home to his parents' ranch in Lightning Flat. One or two related stories follow, before the plot line is resolved. Again, don't want to spoil it!
Glad to have found this story. Keep up the great writing. Looking forward to Jack's point of view, and why Ennis would tell Alma that his Jack was dead.
There are many, many talented writers on this forum! I haven't read this fanfic yet, but after reading your post, it sounds like a really good story!
Welcome to Bettermost!! :)
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Found one of the stories I referred to yesterday: A Broken Heart, by icewolf88, posted on Brokeback Slash on 08/03/06, is the story of the funeral. I haven't found the others that go with this, or the Spirit Mother Bear story yet.
icewolf88 has some great stories.
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Again, yet. Found the prequel and sequel to A Broken Heart. The prequel is called Bad News, and the sequel is called Sweet Ending, New Beginning. Both are posted on FanFicton.net.
As of today on FanFiction.net, Bad News is no. 74, A Broken Heart is no. 78, and Sweet Ending, New Beginning is no. 73.
All short, and all worth the read.
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Anouncement
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/7082.html
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Anouncement
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/7082.html
that announcement was errr.... short, but good! Looking forward to book two :)
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Book Two- Chapter 1
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/7396.html
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Great start, Scott...thanks!
Leslie
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Way to go! You've put so much into the first chapter, so many vignettes, issues, people....Can hardly wait to find out Jack's plan, and how he sees Ennis working through his issues. Based on the Part I, there are going to be some interesting things going on with the two of them as they sort out their feelings for each other, and reach that sweet life Jack wants so much. Hope Jack remembers that even the best laid plans....
Glad you committed to doing the trilogy. This is going to be a good one, too. To quote a "friend" of ours, "Whooooeeeeee!" Keep up the good writing.
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Book Two-Chapter 2
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/7533.html
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Just to let y'all know, I have decided to shelve the continuation of this story indefinitely. I appreciate everyone's support and feedback. The archives of Book Two have been removed from my LJ. Thanks
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Just to let y'all know, I have decided to shelve the continuation of this story indefinitely. I appreciate everyone's support and feedback. The archives of Book Two have been removed from my LJ. Thanks
That's too bad! :(
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There are reason Nat, but it's too long to go into, and NO, it's not a dramatic story...it's really a matter of motivation and time, so I didn't want to keep anyone hanging...by the way...I miss you terribly.
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There are reason Nat, but it's too long to go into, and NO, it's not a dramatic story...it's really a matter of motivation and time, so I didn't want to keep anyone hanging...by the way...I miss you terribly.
I miss you too. I sent you a pm.
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Just to let y'all know, I have decided to shelve the continuation of this story indefinitely. I appreciate everyone's support and feedback. The archives of Book Two have been removed from my LJ. Thanks
Scott, thanks for the update. Sad to hear this but I understand how the writing process goes.
I hope you'll keep continuing on with the drabbles.
Hugs,
L
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Scott, it's sad to hear you're shelving this story. I like your style of writing very much, I hope you'll find a new inspiration to write another story in the future.
Thanks for Book One.
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what yb said.
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Afternoon.
Sorry to see you decided to shelve the project. Had a good premise, the "other side" of the story. But, RL does often get in the way. Hope someday you decide to dust off the premise, and finish Jack's story and then write their story together at the Ranch.
Enjoyed the original; like your style, so much poetry in your imagery. Will always remember how Lee played the piano in the evening with the windows open, pouring his heart into the music, knowing Ennis was outside on the porch of the foreman's house,and how Ennis sat on his porch, listening to the music and the love it conveyed. And will remember the Epilogue.
Thanks again for a great story. Hope to see your name here again. All the best.
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Will always remember how Lee played the piano in the evening with the windows open, pouring his heart into the music, knowing Ennis was outside on the porch of the foreman's house,and how Ennis sat on his porch, listening to the music and the love it conveyed.
I agree. One of the best parts of the whole story. Very poetic and very moving. Thanks for sharing your talent with us Scott. :)
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Just thought I would let folks know that Book One of THOTM is undergoing beta revision, and will be re-posted on LJ very soon. Once that is done, I plan on re-starting work on Book Two.
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Just thought I would let folks know that Book One of THOTM is undergoing beta revision, and will be re-posted on LJ very soon. Once that is done, I plan on re-starting work on Book Two.
That is excellent news! :)
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Evenin'.
Well, that's terrific news. Will keep an eye out for it, though I don't think the original needed much work; like I've said before, your prose was like poetry so often.
Thanks again.
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Delighted by your news Scott.
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I never read your story, Scott and I look forward to it. I know from your other writings it must be terrific.
Marie
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I never read your story, Scott and I look forward to it. I know from your other writings it must be terrific.
Marie
I should have the first five revised chapters up today or tomorrow folks!
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Here we go again folks...enjoy!
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/12123.html#cutid1
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Here we go again folks...enjoy!
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/12123.html#cutid1
I certainly did enjoy, Scott. Hooked me right from the start. You've created some really interesting OC's and I appreciate how well you've captured their voices. Looking forward to meeting Lee Graham.
Thanks,
Marie
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I certainly did enjoy, Scott. Hooked me right from the start. You've created some really interesting OC's and I appreciate how well you've captured their voices. Looking forward to meeting Lee Graham.
Thanks,
Marie
Oh I think you will particularly like him Marie ;)
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I am so glad to be going down this road again my friend. :)
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I will be away for this week, so I won't be posting updates. As soon as I get back, I'm sure they will come fast and furious...the chapters that is.
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Here are Chpaters 6-10. More soon.
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/13936.html
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Here are Chpaters 6-10. More soon.
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/13936.html
You were right, Scott. I like Lee Graham very much, as well as his friend Leslie, and I'm intrigued by the mysteries that you've woven. I enjoyed watching Ennis being swept away by Lee's music - really lovely. I'm glad there will be more soon.
Thanks,
Marie
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Here's the next bunch. 11-16.
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/15552.html
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Wow - six chapters at once. I've got some great weekend reading ahead of me. Thanks, Scott.
Marie
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I really enjoyed these chapters and it was a treat to be able to read them all at once. I am, to say the least, intrigued with the mysteries. I suck at predictions so I'm trying not to get ahead of myself, but ...... hmmmm.....
Thanks,
Marie
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Here's the end of Book One
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/17153.html
I have Book One on Word format of anyone would like it in its entirety.
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The beginning of Book 2 Chapters 1-3
http://scotth6373.livejournal.com/18881.html