BetterMost, Wyoming & Brokeback Mountain Forum
Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond => Brokeback Mountain Fan Fiction & Poetry => Topic started by: littleguitar on January 07, 2007, 05:08:00 pm
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I just started a new fic *nervous squeeing* An AU!AU set in memphis...
The Only Thing That's Real, Chapter 1
http://minchout.livejournal.com/16165.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/16165.html)
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Mandy! I love you for writing this! :-* It's all I hoped it would be. It's perfect and so right :) Ennis is perfect, KE is perfect and Jack is perfect! LOVE LOVE his southern drawl and that he is so out and open and love it that they are going out for a drink already. Where does he work? And what kind of Jack were you originally planning on writing?
This was really great stuff, Mandy and I'm REALLY looking forward to more! Awww and thank you for naming their sister June! That's so sweet of you! :-*
*goes off to bed squeeeeeing!*
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This story is off to a great start!
Leslie
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I'm really glad you guys like it :D I was seriously nervous posting it, but really excited too... And I'm glad it's what you hoped it would be! And you're welcome on naming their sis June, seeing as how you inspired me to write this :-*
LOVE LOVE his southern drawl and that he is so out and open and love it that they are going out for a drink already. Where does he work? And what kind of Jack were you originally planning on writing?
I am so so glad you like the Southern drawl... delta accents fascinate me and I know a few mississippians from when I lived in memphis. I only thought today to do that with Jack and had so much fun writing his character. I was originally going to do a fairly somber, widowed Jack with Bobby in tow but then I couldn't make another miserable Jack, I just didn't have the energy to write it... and there was always such a sense of humor in Six Feet Under, that even though Ennis is closeted I didn't want him to be so serious... and you can't have a somber Jack and a not so serious Ennis...
I'm rambling now, but the long and the short is, I'm glad you like it! ;)
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I'm so glad you didn't decide to do another miserable Jack :) and the humour is always one of the things I loved about SFU. I thought Claire was really cool in SFU too. I loved her :)
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oh good... then I'll make June del Mar more Claire-like... I hadn't decided where to go with her yet. The mom isn't in the picture, so I wasn't sure if she would take on the Claire or the Mrs. Fischer role.
But I like Claire too. :)
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Hiya-
I never watched Six Feet Under, apart from the pilot episode, so I have no clue about original characters from that show! Well, I will put that aside and just think of the characters as original. I liked Ennis' internal dialogue and he is only mildly sad, sitting alone at night watching the TV. I LOVED your idea of having him be able to talk to the dead. I didn't see that coming!
Mel
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The Only Thing That's Real, Chapter 2 up!
http://minchout.livejournal.com/19316.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/19316.html)
Enjoy! :D
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Enjoyable chapter, Mandy. Thanks for updating. :D
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Great Chapter Mandy. Love, love, LOVE the dialogue between Ennis and Jack. I think your story may end up being better than SFU ::) for a brokie like me.
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Great Chapter Mandy. Love, love, LOVE the dialogue between Ennis and Jack. I think your story may end up being better than SFU ::) for a brokie like me.
Shit Dottie, that's some high praise there! LOL ::)
Thanks you two, I really appreciate it :-*
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oh, and I'm really really glad you like the dialogue... I'm always worried about that!
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I really really love this Jack and Ennis. Love the sexual tension between them, love that Jack just came straight out and asked Ennis what was going on in his head. I think it's great that Jack is an artist and I love it that Ennis talks with the ghosts!
These lines were gorgeous:
Sunday came and he found himself with nothing to do so he sat outside in a t-shirt and jeans, his feet bare against the sun-warmed wooden slats of the Del Mar’s big front porch. He drank sweet tea from a sweating glass. It tasted good since the day was unusually warm for this far into autumn.
A voice broke him from his reveries, a voice he wanted to smile at but he didn’t know if he should, so he didn’t, just turned his head slightly in its direction.
“Well looky here,” Jack Twist said. “If it ain’t that Del Mar fella swept me offa my feet then left me heartbroken without another word few nights ago.” He grinned at Ennis and walked up the steps.
I'm so into this story, Mandy, I love everything about it :) You have a writing style that I just really love :)
:-*
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Chapter 3 up
http://minchout.livejournal.com/19693.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/19693.html)
Enjoy, comments and con. crit. always welcome...
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Chapter 3 up
http://minchout.livejournal.com/19693.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/19693.html)
Enjoy, comments and con. crit. always welcome...
*Wheeeee and Squeeeee* ;D Off to read! Good to see you back, Mandy! :-* Did you have a good time? :)
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Yippee skippee and I can't wait to get home!
O0
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LOL Roux! I didn't even know you were reading this! :)
*Wheeeee and Squeeeee* Off to read! Good to see you back, Mandy! Did you have a good time?
I had a great time, thanks for asking :-* I was actually in Memphis for a good amount of time, so I got a lot of inspiration for this story ;)
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Sweet, sweet chapter Mandy. Thank You. Did you have a nice trip? Sure hope so.
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Wow, they're kissing! :o
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Wow, they're kissing! :o
YEAH!! WHOOO! And weren't those kissies just wonderfully sweet *sigh* Lovely, Mandy :-*
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The Only Thing That's Real, Chapter 4 up!
http://minchout.livejournal.com/20161.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/20161.html)
Enjoy!
Comments and con crit always welcome :-*
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The Only Thing That's Real, Chapter 4 up!
http://minchout.livejournal.com/20161.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/20161.html)
Enjoy!
Comments and con crit always welcome :-*
WONDERFUL!!
*off to read*
:-*
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**SPOILERS**
This was a WONDERFUL chapter, Mandy :) I loved it :) I left the same kind of comment on your journal but thought I'd post it here too. Loved these parts:
Jack smiled at him then slipped down off the couch. After a moment’s hesitation, Ennis turned and watched him cross the room, watched the play of muscles beneath the pale skin, smiled when Jack scratched his ass lazily. He’d never done this before, never let himself watch another man. He’d known he wanted to, that wasn’t new information, but he’d always kept that instinct reigned close, afraid of what would happen if someone noticed, or, even worse, if it led to something more. Well now that something more had happened and he fought back the feelings in his stomach, those ones he couldn’t quite name that screamed that this thing he was doing was wrong, and he let his eyes rest on Jack, take him in inch by inch, holding that image in his mind so he could call it back later on some Jackless day
I think some Jackless day is just brilliant!
Jack laughed again, though it came out soft this time, and he ran a hand across Ennis’ cheek, pulling his eyes back to his own. “You are a shy one, aren’t you?” he whispered. He kissed him soft on the bridge of his nose, between his eyes and Ennis hitched a breath at the feel of his eyelashes’ flutter on Jack’s cheek. “Would you like that, Ennis? If we went further?”
I loved the whole sweet, tender and hot loving part. You wrote that beautifully, with so much love :) I love me a Loud!Jack during sex! ::) Heh and Blushing!Ennis is just the sweetest :)
I'm sad Ennis had to go and f*** up things the way he did though *sigh* :'( I know he doesn't mean to and that he's confused and scared but still....*sighs again* Somebody commented that it was like when Ennis punched Jack up on Brokeback and she is so right :(
I also really really loved your take on what happened to Ennis as a small child; that was brilliantly done.
As always the talk with the dead person was wonderful. I enjoy those parts of the chapters so much :) Loved this little line:
dull green eyes the color of pond moss in springtime
KE was great, as always ;D
LOVE this fic, Mandy, so much :-* :-*
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June, you make my night :-* :-*
I'm so glad you liked it!! This one is all for you, if you hadn't given me the plot bunny it would have never been written :)
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VERY enjoyable chapter, Mandy. Well except for Ennis's faux pas when he drops Jack off. Hopefully Ennis will find a sweet way to make up for it. ;)
cc33
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Gosh Girl you are just so very very talented! You truly have a way with words Mandy. Your choice of words and turn of phrase, just beautiful Very nice Chapter. I wanted to thump Ennis on the head when he told Jack he wanted to just forget it ever happened. Merde! Poor Jack, you wrote his reaction so perfectly. He's been hurt before and he expects little else...but I think he was beginning to allow himself to hope things with Ennis would be different, we all know how awful that would feel. Ennis has got some serious ground to regain....but he will ;D I continue to love K.E. and June when we see her and the interactions with the deceased....WONDERFUL! That was always some of the best stuff on SFU and I was so bummed in the 3rd season when they stopped doing that.
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Chapter 5 up!
http://minchout.livejournal.com/21867.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/21867.html)
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Chapter 5 up!
http://minchout.livejournal.com/21867.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/21867.html)
WONDERFUL as always, Mandy! SO much to love about this update :)
I too was happy to see Ennis showing up at Jack's. I was really worried about that after the last chapter. I can't say I blame Jack for reacting the way he did. I also loved reading about Jack's art and loved what Ennis had to say about it :)
“But, yeah, I like it.” And he did, there was something angry about it, something that screamed things that he wondered if Jack had ever spoken out loud, that he wondered if Jack might someday tell him. It was as if all that was dark in Jack was flayed across that canvas, dripping from one side to the next, filling in all the corners; the dark parts of Jack he hid under the chatter and smiles
Beautiful writing, Mandy.
I LOL at Peter, Paul and fucking Mary! Hahaha! ;D
Loved their hot and heavy loving and loved Ennis calling Jack a little shit! Heh :D
Loved these intense lines too, Mandy *sigh* I just love your writing:
He slid slowly down until he was lay on top of Ennis. He let his wrists go and ran his hands up Ennis’ sides and kissed his mouth, a slow, open mouth, gentle thing, and Ennis shivered at the sudden shift in mood.
Gorgeous.
He ran a hand through Jack’s hair and shut his eyes, afraid to move anymore, afraid he would disrupt whatever force was allowing him to just lay here, happy for a time with Jack Twist against him.
So sweet.
Also really really loved Ennis going back to kiss Jack and reassuring him he'd be back. I think Jack really needed that.
Sorry to quote half the chapter, Mandy! LOL ;D I just can't help myself! It's all so good and beautiful. Thank you, Mandy! :-* I guess you know by now how much I LOVE this fic!
I agree with Chas about your KE. I've adored him right from the very first chapter! He's perfect :)
:-*
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Oh I am so glad they left each other on a good note now... :D
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The Only Thing That's Real, Chapter 6 :D
http://minchout.livejournal.com/22632.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/22632.html)
comments and con. crit. always welcome and much appreciated!!
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**SPOILERS**
LOVELY update, as always, a joy to wake up to :)
I loved the reference to Lagniappe's and it's brown-eyed owner (that's just so sexy!)
I also really loved the part with Jack, Ennis and June. :) I love June :) and I love the way you write her, Mandy :) I'm pretty sure she knows what's going on now! She's not stupid! :D Aw, I really do hope Ennis will go along to the zoo next time, I felt bad for poor Jack :( I do love Ennis for wishing he'd told Jack he loves bears though, that was real sweet :)
I absolutely adored the late night visit from Jack; everything about it was sweet, hot and sexy to me. You wrote all of that SO well; loved Jack's slow easy smile, :) loved him saying all he wanted was to see Ennis, :) loved Ennis kissing Jack's wrist (so lovely..) :) and I LOVE how you had Ennis asking.....oh wow...
These lines were wonderful:
“Hey,” Jack whispered. He turned Ennis’ face back to his. “It’s all right. You ain’t gotta be afraid to ask me nothin’.”
The sex was gorgeous, so sweet, slow and loving. :) Bottom!Ennis is totally sexy!! This just about killed me dead:
“Right there, huh?” he said *fans self*
Your closing lines were beautiful. :) Just so lovely. :)
The last thing he felt before drifting off was Jack’s breath hot on the back of his neck and the pulse of his heart beating securely against Ennis’ back.
Such a wonderful story, I really LOVE it, Mandy :-*
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Yup yup yup Mandy, I'm digging this one. I really like this Jack-he is pushy and bugsome and real. Not all sunshine and rainbows. Just what Ennis needs-someone with no boundaries but I suspect that could cause some tension down the line.
Is it wrong of me to ask when we'll be getting an update on JBLaY? ;)
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Is it wrong of me to ask when we'll be getting an update on JBLaY?
Hopefully tonight! :)
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Hopefully tonight! :)
Squeeeeeee! but.....your tonight is my goodnight :'( Well something to look forward to when I wake up! :-*
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Well, it's with the beta right now, so depending on how quickly she gets done, it could be up soon. She's usually really fast. Though, I didn't give her much warning that it was coming today, so we'll see!
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The Only Thing That's Real, Chapter 7 :D
http://minchout.livejournal.com/23204.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/23204.html)
comments and con crit always welcome and much appreciated.
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I just got all caught up Mandy. Thank You, thank you, thank you for this wonderful story. I love the dialogue between E & J and I LOVED the last line of Chapter 7. How perfect and just the right place for it! More Please.
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For anyone following this wonderful story...Chapter 8 is up and it's lovely :D
http://minchout.livejournal.com/23739.html
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Chapter 9! Great story, great chapter.
http://minchout.livejournal.com/24478.html#cutid1 (http://minchout.livejournal.com/24478.html#cutid1)
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This is late, but, I've posted chapter 10 ;D
http://minchout.livejournal.com/25514.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/25514.html)
Chapter 11 should be up Monday.
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TOTTR Jack!!
(http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n179/melissasjack/jake/add577d8.jpg)
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Great news and, yeah, what a perfect TOTTR Jack!
Thanks,
Marie
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Chapter 11 up!
(http://minchout.livejournal.com/25732.html)
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<a href="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fwww.smileycentral.com%252F%253Fpartner%253DZSzeb008%255FZNxdm824JGUS%2526i%253D23%252F23%255F33%255F9%2526feat%253Dprof/page.html" target="_blank">(http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_33_9.gif)[/url] Glad to see you dropping in again Miss Mandy, You have been missed.
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Chapter 11 up!
(http://minchout.livejournal.com/25732.html)
:) Here's the link: http://minchout.livejournal.com/25732.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/25732.html)
So well written. Really gets to the core of Ennis's feelings.
Thanks,
Marie
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:) Here's the link: http://minchout.livejournal.com/25732.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/25732.html)
So well written. Really gets to the core of Ennis's feelings.
Thanks,
Marie
I agree Marie! I really enjoy reading this story.
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This really is a great story, and very well-written. She's very sensitive to the relationship between Jack and Ennis. You can see the love developing between these two very clearly.
cc33
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Chapter 12 is up:
http://minchout.livejournal.com/27401.html#cutid1 (http://minchout.livejournal.com/27401.html#cutid1)
I love writing that is so achingly honest - even if it breaks your heart. Really great stuff.
Marie
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I love writing that is so achingly honest - even if it breaks your heart. Really great stuff.
Marie
I agree Marie, the inner conflicts Ennis is going through are really well written and make this story very believable. Time to make decisions about what is 'the only thing that's real' and not just for Ennis. Jack has some decisions to make too.
I really enjoy reading this story.
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. . . Time to make decisions about what is 'the only thing that's real' and not just for Ennis. Jack has some decisions to make too.
Exactly, Fabienne. Jack has his own demons to conquer. Hopefully, they can learn to draw from each other's strengths to overcome their own weaknesses.
Marie
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Chapter 13 is up -
http://minchout.livejournal.com/28133.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/28133.html)
Superb, as always. The title - "The Only Thing That's Real" is apt in so many ways to this story - just one of which is how "real" all these characters are.
Marie
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Marie, thanks for the info. I hadn't checked today.
*off to read*
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http://minchout.livejournal.com/ (http://minchout.livejournal.com/)
Chapter 14 is up! ;D
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This is really an excellent chapter - hard to read, but very good.
Leslie.
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"My Empire of Dirt" - part II of "The Only Thing That's Real" - told from Jack's POV. Chapters 1 and 2 are up!
http://minchout.livejournal.com/34892.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/34892.html)
http://minchout.livejournal.com/35618.html (http://minchout.livejournal.com/35618.html)
Marie