Gidday everyone....im new here to this board, and have just read some of the posts to this thread, and I want to tell you a story....a real story....
Back in 1958, when I was 7 yrs old, my father separated from my mother, so he could live with his male lover.In those days it was illegal to live as a homosexual, and so my dad and his partner told everyone that they were brothers. Dads partner changed his name by deed poll to dads name, so it was all legal, and people accepted that they were brothers.
When they first got together they travelled around australia for about 6 months, not staying in one place for more than a few weeks, but after that they finally bought a small property in a rural area, grew fruit, and became part of the community.All those years, and their friends and neighbours and business aquaintances, thought of them as brothers.
Even back then, my father was not ashamed of his sexuality, but it was because they risked prosecuition if their lifestyle became public.
Me and my sister, loved his partner like a big brother, and he loved us too, and used to take us to the movies and luna park and things like that. It wasnt until i was 17 and about to be married, that my dad sat me down and actually told me that he and his partner were homosexual and that they were lovers...It didnt come as too much of a shock to me, because in my own way i think I knew there was something special about the two of them anyway, something that i had accepted most of my life, and had got used to anyway.I cant say it was easy growing up and having my dad meet some of my school friends and such, and me trying to explain who is partner was, i used to just say he was my uncle.
They were together for 14years, and it wasnt financial problems that happened between them, Dads partner, who had taken on the role of "housewife" in the relationship, started to get sick of being the "housewife"...cooking, cleaning, washing etc...and he asked a pen friend he had in south africa if she would like to come out and stay with them for a while.
Well stay she did, a romance of some sorts developed and she and dads partner married.
That left Dad as the odd man out, and so he left the home and went away to wander the country on his own.Eventually the loneliness became too much for him and he committed suicide.
I lost contact with dad's partner after that.
I guess that is why when i first saw the movie BBM, i walked out of the theatre thinking that someone had used part of my life for the story, it completely overwhelmed me with sadness.
But it made me do a couple of things, of which i am very proud of...you see, i never had to or needed to ever have to forgive my dad for being gay, to me it was not an issue...but i had NEVER forgiven him for taking his own life, but after seeing the movie, i finally realized the depth of his love for his partner, the agony he must have gone thru when it was over, and the despair of never being able to have it again. So i finally forgave him for putting an end to his own suffering, his own sadness.
Secondly, i used the net to find my dads ex-partner, and phoned him.I told him I had seen the movie and told him how much it affected me, and he was so happy to hear from me.He is still married to the same lady, although he did admit to me that he has always and will always have gay tendencies, but him and his wife have worked that out.He also told me that he has two sons, in their twenties, and one of them is gay and iving in a relationship with a young man. I have since visited him and his wife, and it was like seeing my long lost older brother...he is 60 now.We communicate reguarly now, and it is good to be able to talk to him about my dad, who he said, he never stopped loving, and being older now, I understand a lot of things a lot better now too.
So you can see why this wonderful movie touched me so much,and like everyone else, I wished that Ennis and Jack could have had a good safe life together...My mum went on to remarry and get on with her life, me and my sister, still grew up in a loving family, and knew that our dad loved us, and his partner loved us too.It could have happened for Jack and Ennis, and everyone would have survived.......
