Would it have worked? Merged with "Would a SWEET LIFE ever have been possible?"

[serious crayons]

Personally, though, I don't think the ultimate measure of whether something 'works out' is the living happily ever after. I think people come together because there is a reason behind their connection. They have something to learn from one another. Sometimes that ends before one's life ends, but that doesn't necessarily mean things didn't 'work out'.

I agree with this, too. I find it sad when somebody gets divorced or breaks up after 10 years or five years or whatever, and declares their marriage/relationship a "mistake." Do you mean those years of your life were a total waste, or did you have some happiness and good times? To me, unless it was all or mostly torture -- maybe if your partner abused you, say -- then think of it in terms of having had X number of good years. They ended, and now you're moving on to something else.

I apply this philosophy to Jack and Ennis. I get dismayed when people act as though, because they didn't live together, their relationship was a failure or not worthwhile or nothing but pain for either. True, it would have been better if they'd been able to spend much more time together. But the quality of the time they did have together over 20 years was much better than some people ever get.

[dly64]

I apply this philosophy to Jack and Ennis. I get dismayed when people act as though, because they didn't live together, their relationship was a failure or not worthwhile or nothing but pain for either. True, it would have been better if they'd been able to spend much more time together. But the quality of the time they did have together over 20 years was much better than some people ever get.

True. I certainly don’t see Jack’s and Ennis’ relationship as a failure or not being one of love and depth. But, being a person who goes through this kind of stuff in reality, there is a degree of truth in the statement about “nothing but pain for either.” I say this because there is no solution to their situation. Their relationship was bound to end tragically. I guess I would say it would be worth the pain to have stolen moments with the person who is the love of your life.

As for them having a good life together … I am the romantic kind, too. I believe it would work. I mean, we all have “dances” with the significant others in our lives, don’t we?

[serious crayons]

I guess I would say it would be worth the pain to have stolen moments with the person who is the love of your life.

That's a good way to put it. You're right, they both did experience plenty of pain, and it's too bad they couldn't solve that.

What I object to is when people act as if the whole relationship counts for nothing unless they can live together.

[dly64]

What I object to is when people act as if the whole relationship counts for nothing unless they can live together.

Yes ... I agree. Living together is completely overrated!   

[jessiwrite]

They would have had to start someplace else to make a life, but it would have worked.  Actually I think being with each other is the only relationship that would have worked for only together were their souls whole.  i don't mean to sound romantic becasue I'm not much of one, but their happiness was with each other.  It's not the hell you go through with in the day, but the heaven you close your eyes with in the night that makes it all worth it, makes everything all right.

jessi

[jessiwrite]

He didn't see his girls often, and they were nearly grown.  The child support and being near his girls would soon be running thin.  I really feel if Jack had lived things would have changed, not smoothly, but standing it would have become less and less an option.

jessi

[dly64]

He didn't see his girls often, and they were nearly grown.  The child support and being near his girls would soon be running thin.  I really feel if Jack had lived things would have changed, not smoothly, but standing it would have become less and less an option.

jessi

I tend to see Ennis as using his daughters as an excuse. After his daughters were grown, Ennis would have found another reason not to live with Jack. He was just too homophobic. Who knows? If Jack would have lived, he might have given Ennis an ultimatum. However, I just can’t see Jack having a life without Ennis and vice versa. Ennis was forced to acknowledge the depth of his love for Jack (during the lake scene), but ultimately it was too late. Ennis had to live the remainder of his life with regret. The one person he loved, he lost. 

[jessiwrite]

The story certainly is final.  I can't help but wonder what if though.  I felt something bend a tiny curve in the standing it wall, small, but sure, something did happen.  Ennis had every right to be afraid, they would be in danger, but he surely loved Jack, and he said he couldn't stand it, of course he could, for then, for longer, but not indefinitly now.  And he surely loved Jack.

jessi

[opinionista]

bump

[ednbarby]

Yes ... I agree. Living together is completely overrated!   

Ain't DAT the truth?  I think Woody Allen and Mia Farrow actually got it right.  Can I live in a brownstone on the other side of Central Park from my husband, please?