I haven't given it up but I do know what I want and I won't settle for what's handy so... 6 years single. No biggie. I'm too self focused at the moment anyway.
My too much was a guy I dated for seven months (I tried to break up after 4. It didn't take) when I was 25. His father was very emotionally abusive. M found out in therapy a couple of years later that what he was looking for was someone to treat him badly. Since I didn't he had to make up that I was. In other words, I never knew what I was going to do or say next that he would twist around and interpret as being anti-M. Talk about walking on eggshells. I dreaded going home after working at Blockbuster. Think about that.
What made things worse was after we broke up he had no job, no place to go, no money, so I adopted the co-dependent role of the caretaker and we kept living together in the same room, in the same bed. Of course I started seeing other people and, knowing he couldn't handle it, lying about it. I hate lying. I will never get myself into a situation like that again.
Finally, when I made the decision to move from Orange County to San Francisco, I knew I couldn't have that kind of negativity around while I got ready to relocate. So I went to visit my Mom for advice. She once had to throw a fiance out of the house and knew how to go about it. Well advised, I went home and told M that we had talked everything about us into the ground and that he was leaving that day. No more talking. Period. To his credit, when I got back from work that night, every trace of him was gone. Funny how after months of "I have nowhere to go," he found a friend to take him in so quickly. What a relief. Last I heard he had his own theatre production company in the midwest somewhere and was doing very well. Good for him.
That's my too much story. I don't tolerate unworkable situations for long.
