Author Topic: Burma Shave  (Read 7914 times)

Offline TOoP/Bruce

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Burma Shave
« on: June 08, 2007, 09:57:00 pm »
A classic REPOST from the other board:

Feel free to add your own!

====================================================================================================

by ClancyPantsDelMar (Wed Dec 13 2006 22:05:12 )


Anyone remember Burma-Shave?

If not, it was a men’s shaving soap. One way that they advertised it was by putting five signs up on the side of a rural road, each spaced one mile apart. The first four signs made up a little poem and the fifth said “Burma-Shave.” It was fun to travel on rural roads and read the signs. They are a significant part of Americana. If you haven’t heard of them, do an internet search. They’re a hoot.

So how about Burma-Shave on Brokeback Mountain?

Here’s a few to get us started…

When travellin’ through Wyoming,
By truck or train or car,
You may see Jack and Ennis,
Our boys, Twist and Del Mar.
Burma-Shave

Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
Jack jump onto
Ennis’ ----.
Burma-Shave

Ennis Del Mar played a prank,
Spiked the booze his friend Jack drank,
Jack got drunk and dropped his drawers,
Ennis’ jaw dropped to the floor.
Burma-Shave

In a motel, two boys played,
Ennis like an eagle laid,
Jack said “Come and live with me,”
“Cows and calves, we will breed.”
Burma-Shave

”No way,” sadly remarked Ennis,
“Them homophobes, they is a menace.”
“We’ll git together once in a while,”
“If you'll drive a thousand miles.”
Burma-Shave

A moment, artless, charmed – for sure,
For Ennis Jack sought out a cure,
He could not look Jack in the face,
So what we’s got’s a Dozy Embrace.
Burma-Shave




by True_Oracle_of_Phoenix (Thu Dec 14 2006 08:31:44 )


The Coyote goes a-hunting
For lambs that fall a-stray.
But Ennis and his rifle
Will blow them all away.
Burma-Shave

The hapless Elk
through the forest tread.
But Jack got hungry
and now it's dead.
Burma-Shave

Lureen's dark hair
is now quite gold.
She once was fair,
but now she's cold.
Burma-Shave

Alma, at the sink in anger
threw "Jack Nasty!" in Ennis's face.
Ennis reacted hot with danger,
and started a fight at a drinking place.
Burma-Shave




by Clyde-B (Thu Dec 14 2006 10:25:45 )


Jack's mom did cook
She loved to bake
But nobody'd eat
Her cherry cake
Burma Shave




by True_Oracle_of_Phoenix (Thu Dec 14 2006 10:47:17 )


"You stood my son up"
Said Jack's dad.
That made Ennis
Mighty sad.
Burma-Shave




by ClancyPantsDelMar (Thu Dec 14 2006 11:40:45 )


"You don't never dance with me,"
Sad complaint of Lureen.
"That's cause I am sorely stalled,
For a diff'rent matin' call."
Burma-Shave




by ClancyPantsDelMar (Thu Dec 14 2006 12:05:16 )


Ennis went to play with Jack,
To wife Alma he came back.
Then he sat and watched the tube,
Later we saw Alma's ----s.
Burma-Shave




by Dancing_Bear (Thu Dec 14 2006 12:19:15 )


Though others love his facial hair
Randall's hairy as a bear
Or like a caveman in a cave -
I think he needs a
Burma-Shave




by toycoon (Thu Dec 14 2006 12:22:09 )


Cowboy stories, so fine to hear
of rodeos both far and near
Tell us reasons, Daddy, if there's any
Ya ain't got no wings like me and Jenny
Burma Shave




by richardg49 (Thu Dec 14 2006 12:38:52 )


Jack, in the mirror of his truck,
Spied a guy he'd like to **** .
"If him and me was to get depraved
First, I'd look sexier
Burma - shaved."




by True_Oracle_of_Phoenix (Thu Dec 14 2006 13:29:52 )


When Ennis Delmar moved from town --
It turned Alma Jr's blue eyes brown.
Not that she's so very hurt --
She's seeing hunky "roughneck" Curt.
Burma-Shave




by ClancyPantsDelMar (Thu Dec 14 2006 13:55:08 )


Hi everyone –

Thanks to everyone for contributing. Every last one of these has made me laugh.

Hi Dancing_Bear and richardg49 –

What I particularly liked about yours is that often Burma-Shave poems would end with the "Burma-Shave” line being a necessary part of the entire poem. Very good!

Here’s a few more…

Cassie danced,
While Ennis lingered,
In his belt loops,
He put his fingers.
Burma-Shave

Jimbo had just drunk a beer,
Next to him sat down a queer,
“I’ll buy you one,” Jack said and winked,
“Could be fun,” the clown did think.
Burma-Shave

Way down south in dusty Texas,
Jack would often think-a Ennis,
Like he was in Brokeback days,
When he lathered
Burma-Shave.




by Dancing_Bear (Thu Dec 14 2006 14:50:14 )


In the mirror on his truck
Jack sees one hot hunky - - - cowboy
Plots with care how he'll behave
While lathering up with
Burma Shave




by littlewing1957 (Thu Dec 14 2006 14:59:34 )


Now hear the sad story
Of one Ennis Del Mar
A tragic tale heard
Both near and far
What a fine performance
Heath Ledge gave
He certainly deserves a
Burma Shave!




by ClancyPantsDelMar (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:02:28 )


I like that one, Dancing_Bear!

Here's one for you:

L.D. Newsome had a mouth,
Thought Jack's home was his house,
Homophobic thoughts did speak,
Jack kicked his a$$ into next week.
Burma-Shave




by Dancing_Bear (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:06:04 )


Yippeekai-ay littlewing! Good one!

Ennis whips the towel round
Both his boots soon hit the ground
When his jeans drop we all rave
Except for Jack, who can't see...
Burma Shave




by ClancyPantsDelMar (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:06:39 )



Hi littlewing1957!

Thanks for joining in!

Here's one just for you:

Jack had eyes just like a doe,
Cute he was from head to toe.
Ennis often liked to kiss,
Jack’s great big smile from Tex-iss.
Burma-Shave




by latjoreme (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:06:50 )


When Ennis went to reach and warsh
Jack's need for self-control was harsh
Though more than friendship he was seeking
He swallowed hard and kept from peeking.
Burma Shave




by ClancyPantsDelMar (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:14:15 )


Hi latjoreme!

Thanks for joining in! What a great addition!

Here's one just for you:

In order to play the role of Ennis,
Heath had to cover up his menace,
On his wrist there was a tattoo,
The painted lady had some too.
Burma-Shave




by JPJenny (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:19:47 )


Hi, Clancy,

Inspired by Dancing Bear's first post:

Jack loves Ennis
Who wears no beard
It's a fact you should not dismiss
Randall, you NEED a
Burma-Shave




by latjoreme (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:26:57 )


After a night inside the tent,
Ennis wondered what all of it meant.
He thought he might be in too deep
When he saw a gory slaughtered sheep.
Burma Shave

Ennis told Jack there'd be just one shot.
And was he queer? No, he was not.
Me neither, said Jack, looking down and sighing.
In fact, he knew, they both were lying.
Burma Shave




by littlewing1957 (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:28:05 )


Thanks, Dancing_Bear! Your posts are brilliant! Keep them coming..please!




by Dancing_Bear (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:29:24 )


Hey JPJenny, thanks for the support! Clancy thanks for the poem!

The weather's cold, we hear Jack grumble
Into the tent does Ennis stumble
When Ennis wakes his face is grave
He rides off without his
Burma Shave




by littlewing1957 (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:31:03 )

Thanks, Clancy for starting this fun thread!  My dad used to talk about the Burma Shave signs!




by littlewing1957 (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:32:46 )

richardg49, this is great!




by Clyde-B (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:32:58 )


Balls like apples
Peeled potatoes too
Warsh everthing you can reach
Then I'll help you
Burma-Shave




by Dancing_Bear (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:34:02 )


latjoreme I see we are making parallel posts... great minds think alike!




by littlewing1957 (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:34:32 )


Love it!




by littlewing1957 (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:36:07 )


Good one, Clancy!
Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: Burma Shave
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2007, 08:45:33 am »
Thanks for posting, Bruce.  Dang, I wish mine had survived. 

Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: Burma Shave
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2007, 10:48:20 am »


         Ennis' folk drove off of a curve.
         When their car they forgot to swerve
         They only left 23 buck in a can
         Ennis was forced to become a man
         Burma Shave

          i remember these when i was very little
         
         
         



     Beautiful mind

Offline serious crayons

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Re: Burma Shave
« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2007, 12:52:10 pm »
Here's one I wrote before on imdb but it got deleted by trolls:

"Your weren't fishin," Alma said.
"Shut up," said Ennis, turning red.
"You saw the creel case in my truck
"How dare you imply we went up there to do anything besides fish."
Burma Shave


Offline LauraGigs

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Re: Burma Shave
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2007, 01:08:31 pm »
You wrote some other great ones, sweetie!  Lots of folks did.  I saved the page — will post when I clean the excess verbiage out.

Offline LauraGigs

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Re: Burma Shave
« Reply #5 on: June 09, 2007, 01:40:34 pm »
by latjoreme     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:45:32 )    

Ennis told Jack, I'll see you around
And walked away without a sound
But moments later, he was weeping
Thinking of Jack, and their summer of *bleeping*
Burma Shave

While Timmy yakked and spread the tar
Ennis ignored him; his thoughts were far
But when Timmy said something bout breaking his back
Ennis gazed into the distance and dreamed of Jack
Burma Shave

Ennis rejected Alma's whim
No fire and brimstone crowd for him.
But one thing that he didn't tell
Was that it was Ennis who'd be going to hell
Burma Shave


by toycoon     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:46:54 )    

Peeling potatoes and all it took,
Just for Jack not to sneak a look.
Off in the distance, Ennis did lave
Saving for last the Burma-Shave

   
by latjoreme     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:59:08 )    

Keeping Ennis at home was Alma's wish
She knew they weren't just going to fish
When Ennis, so excited he could hardly think
Told her coffee was something that Texans don't drink.
Burma Shave

Here's a sad one:

Jack suggested to Ennis a calf and cow
operation -- let's have the sweet life right now.
But Ennis, who'd seen a corpse in the sand,
Said what you can't fix, you just gotta stand.
Burma Shave

   
by Dancing_Bear     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:59:14 )    

The mixed up sheep all milled about
As Ennis said “Jack, stick it out!”
Sorting sheep all sore and weary
Jack responded “*bleep* Aguirre!!!”
Burma Shave

   
by littlewing1957     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 16:04:24 )    

"Your mustache tickes me!"
Is the answer Ennis gave
When Jack asked him why
He looked so grave
After a thousand kisses
A hairless top lip for Jack
Did Ennis crave
Still, Jack refused a
Burma Shave!

   
by Dancing_Bear     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 16:14:33 )    


Full moon sails the sky so bright
Ennis sets Jack’s heart alight
Thumb strokes gently down his face
Melts into a sweet embrace
Burma Shave


by latjoreme     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 16:51:23 )    

Ennis quickly soothed his crying daughter
As Alma squeezed clothes in plain tap water
He hoped Alma'd stay busy with the laundry thing
Cause he had something else to wring.
Burma Shave

When Ennis was dozily embracing Jack
He could only face doing so from the back
So what a surprise, months later, to find
He also liked Alma from behind.
Burma Shave


by latjoreme     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 16:58:01 )    

When Ennis fought some slop-mouthed jerks
Alma discovered one of his quirks
He'd beat up anyone in the vicinity
Who dared to question his masculinity.
Burma Shave

   
by LauraGigs     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 17:02:35 )    

   
To his lil' girl he waved goodbye,
Went to his closet, tear in eye
At memories of his dear comrade
Blue shirt all wrapped up in plaid.
Burma Shave


by ClancyPantsDelMar     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 17:03:10 )    

EVERYONE --
There are so many coming in I can barely keep up. And all are WONDERFUL!

I don't have time just right now
To let you know fully how
Much I love the rhymes you've made
I'll check in later, each one to rave.
Burma-Shave


by Dancing_Bear     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 17:20:22 )    

They rode the hills
They rode the dales
They rode each other
Those two males
Burma Shave


by ClancyPantsDelMar     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 18:29:54 )    

"Sure do know her" said the tender,
of the bar where Jack first met her.
News from Ennis had been lean,
So Jack hooked up with Lureen.
Burma-Shave

Two whole cases brought Fayette,
to her grandson’s bassinette.
Looks like L.D., so they say,
But like dad, he'll grow up gay.
Burma-Shave

Plenty a p*ssy on the hoof,
Said the biker with a woof.
Angered, Ennis said "Oh f--- it,"
Made him shut his slop-bucket.
Burma-Shave


by Dancing_Bear     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 18:53:07 )    

Cat piss tent and 4 hours riding
Aguirre in the hills is hiding
Sheep count wrong, and try as he might;
For Joe and his Pa, Jack can’t do right
Burma Shave

“I don’t need your money, Jack!”
But his wallet is thin and prospects slack
Poor Ennis has to scrimp and save
He can barely afford his
Burma Shave

Their lives are parted due to fear
Although they meet three times a year
First beans and whiskey with elk jerky
Then shouts and threats while eating turkey
Burma Shave

They pass the whiskey to and fro
Big clouds of smoke from their lips blow
Jack heaves a sigh, “It’s going to snow…
Why don’t we go to Mexico?"
Burma Shave

Mrs.Twist is sweet and kind
She sends him to the room to find
Jack’s secret token of their love
Their shirts are hung like hand in glove
Burma Shave


by toycoon     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 19:06:08 )    

Motion Pictures Academy
Somewhat short of integrity
Brokeback Mountain, a cultural smash
End of the day, the award went to Crash
Burma Shave

Fellas with a limp wrist?
Not the case with our Jack Twist
Ennis, yet another kind
Who loved to take Jack from behind!
Burma Shave


by ClancyPantsDelMar     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 19:24:49 )    

Seriously… all of your posts are too, too funny…

He never could say “I love you,”
Now Jack is gone, boo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
In the end he feels like a doofus,
So first sings Willie and then Rufus.
Burma-Shave

Beans beans beans beans
Jeans jeans jeans jeans
Coffee coffee coffee oops!
Just don’t never order soup!
Burma-Shave

He drank and talked,
Then he walked.
Had to piss,
Jack F-in Twist.
Burma-Shave

Monroe nicely carved the turkey,
Alma told Ennis he looked perky.
Ennis ran out to his truck,
And got called a dumb f---.
Burma-Shave


One just for Clancy    
by toycoon     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 19:46:45 )    


A shepherd's life is sometimes lonely
Rams and ewes and lambs only
While boinking sheep might seem like fun
Just don't mess with #761

Re: One just for Clancy    
by ClancyPantsDelMar     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 22:12:15 )    


Here's one for you:

In the house of Jack's youth,
Ennis finally found the proof,
Of Jack's love and pride and joy,
'Twas a horse-and-cowboy toy.
Burma-Shave

   
by richardg49     2 days ago (Thu Dec 14 2006 22:49:05 )    

Ennis, down and dirty, saw
Too much growth round Jack's back door.
As good friends should, he thoughtfully gave
A careful trimming with
Burma-Shave.

   
by ClancyPantsDelMar     2 days ago (Fri Dec 15 2006 00:00:44 )    

Well it’s time for me to sleep,
Can’t think of anything oh too deep.
But before I drift away,
Here is what I’d like to say…

To all my friends on this board,
(Such a kind and thoughtful horde)
While trolls may send you awful curses,
I give you these perky verses.

This one bumps the good old threads,
When the rest of us go to bed,
Keeping wisdom in the mix,
True_Oracle_of_Phoenix.
Burma-Shave

He will write a humorous post,
Coming up with real good jokes,
When you want to tee-hee,
Look for posts by Clyde-B.
Burma-Shave

Always one to have some fun,
This one posted more than one,
Mostly ‘bout shaving hair,
Thanks to you, Dancing_Bear.
Burma-Shave

Trucks and dolls and bats and balls,
This guy sure does have them all,
If you want to play real soon,
Get a toy from toycoon.
Burma-Shave

In the film finds symbolism,
This dude’s posts don’t be missin’,
Looks for meanings real fine,
It’s richardg49.
Burma-Shave

Who is it who sure loves Jack?
His face, his sides, his front, his back?
With him she is just in heaven,
It’s littlewing1957.
Burma-Shave

Knows I'm goofy, odd, and old,
Let’s me know when I've been told,
All my errors, she does catch 'em,
Must be that brilliant latjoreme.
Burma-Shave

Don’t really know her all too well,
But her posts are really swell.
In one thread her posts were many,
Wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without JPJenny.
Burma-Shave

Been here longer than a lot,
All her posts really dot
The threads that we all dig,
She contributes, LauraGigs.
Burma-Shave

Someone here came along,
Wrote some things that were wrong,
Must have been a masturbator,
Posts deleted by an administrator.
Burma-Shave

Sometimes right and sometimes wrong,
Posts may be short or too long,
Against the trolls he often rants,
Who could it be? It's ClancyPants...
Del Burma-Shave Mar


by spiceylife     2 days ago (Fri Dec 15 2006 00:24:07 )    


'S'alright, s'alright,' Jack Twist said
Lay back now and place your head
Upon my lovely, manly chest
Don't you know I love you best?
Burma-Shave

J lay down on top of E
Love in J's eyes for E to see
E surrendered, gave his all
Who came first? Too close to call
Burma-Shave

Ennis, Ennis, we love you
Jack, you know we love you, too
Made us see things very clear
Kept us here for near one year
Burma-Shave

   
by malina-5     2 days ago (Fri Dec 15 2006 00:36:37 )    

What Aguirre saw
through his binocs
made him think
outside the box –
Burma-Shave!

Look at those fellas
Stem the rose
Right there under
My very nose!
Burma-Shave!

Still, he mused,
that Jack’s right purdy,
Lips like an angel,
But his mind’s quite dirty
Burma-Shave!

An’ Ennis, well he’s
the strong silent one,
Good to see ‘im havin’
a bit of fun.
Burma-Shave!

Aguirre’s hand
Went down his slacks
As he watched them make
the beast with two backs
Burma-Shave!

Aguirre mused
On his way down
That was more fun
Than a night on the town!
Burma-Shave!

Maybe this August
Herdin’ done for the year,
I’ll buy ‘em both
A nice cold beer
Burma-Shave!

Jus’ take my two herders
Out for a beer
I’ll be sure ta tell ‘em
That I ain’t no queer.
Burma-Shave!

It’ll be right nice,
Aguirre thought,
Go out with my herders,
Cause that Jack is sure hot!
Burma-Shave!


by toycoon      2 days ago (Fri Dec 15 2006 02:53:24 )    

I agree with the peanut gallery, could there ever have been a better forum?
This one's dedicated to my Canuck buddy, Doug:

Brokeback Mountain vs. Crash
Parity in Hollywood can be rash;
When all said and all is done,
Now I know we have more fun!
Burma Shave


by ClancyPantsDelMar     2 days ago (Fri Dec 15 2006 08:14:55 )    

Always came home rather perky,
Ennis could not carve the turkey,
Never many fishes caught,
With his wife, Ennis fought.
Burma-Shave


by LauraGigs     2 days ago (Fri Dec 15 2006 09:59:23 )    


A torch for Jack our man did carry,
from the day they both met Joe Aguirre.
And though his stare was harsh and glary,
he sent them to Brokeback, high and airy.
Ennis said "I ain't no fairy"
Though he'd given Jack his cherry.
Yelled "Joe didn't treat us fairly!"
and in the face, he socked Jack squarely.
At summer's end, t'was customary
to give a brief commentary.
But Aguirre stated clearly
of no-good ranch stiffs, he was weary.
Ennis stumbled, sad and bleary.
All his feelings — just so scary.
(Adam with Eve, not Steve with Larry!
nor Tom with Jason, Dick with Harry!)
This gay thing was just temporary
I'll be okay if I just marry.
Ensuing years were somewhat dreary.
Each was married to a dearie
but be it justly or unfairly,
they liked their loves more strong and hairy.
When Ennis thought on their affair he
fought with thoughts he'd tried to bury.
Despite his inner judge and jury,
gave in to lust involuntary.
But contact had so far been nary.
Was Jack now in the military?
When Jack pulled up outside his lair he
gave a kiss now legendary!
Jack came up with a quick theory:
"Ranch together?" was his query.
But E's reply was not so cheery;
his memories were just too eerie.
Feared folks would shout "Hear ye Hear ye,
Del Mar's queer!" so he was leery.
Jack sought his shack out on the prairie
but his drive back was oh so teary!
(Jack had a few hits o' sherry
and read a Spanish dicktionary.)
Thanksgiving they tried making merry,
but Alma was still angry. Very.
They camped together three times yearly,
but Jack got bitter and contrary.
"These damn cold outings never vary –
always feels like January!"
To the PO del Mar did ferry,
read the card and didn't tarry.
Gave condolences, sincerely
and asked Lureen, "Where is he buried?"
Met John Twist, a legendary
jerk—glare cold as February.
Despite this bitter adversary,
Jack's dear mom was much less scary.
Knew him Jack's beneficiary
and gave a precious sack to carry
shirts, his heart's apothecary;
ashes were not necessary.
For all his fears, Ennis paid dearly.
"Jack I swear." (Oh can you hear me?)
Burma Shave


by ClancyPantsDelMar     2 days ago (Fri Dec 15 2006 10:15:15 )    


LauraGigs, LauraGigs, LauraGigs!

That is the best one by far!

I loved it! Especially the river reunion part.

So here's one for you:

LauraGigs she sure can rhyme,
Kept it all in metered time.
Summarized the Brokeback tale,
She has earned the Mountain Grail!
Burma-Shave

   
by ClancyPantsDelMar     1 day ago (Fri Dec 15 2006 14:56:18 )    


Made Jack really glad to get
The postcard with the words "You bet."
With Ennis in his thoughts he gave
His face a good close
Burma-Shave


by Ellemeno     1 day ago (Fri Dec 15 2006 21:56:10 )    


"I sure am sorry" rang in Jack's ears
Alone in the truck he wiped his tears
Oh, from Ennis he wanted more
But all he got was a cute señor
Burma Shave

Haiku, acronyms, limericks,
ABCs, drabbles, AU fics
"I LOVE Everything"s, "Lines Visualized"
Relay team sports that keep our words exercised.
Now Burma Shave


by ClancyPantsDelMar     1 day ago (Sat Dec 16 2006 00:55:23 )    


A couple people must go to sleep,
Hard to come up with words too deep,
When one is really tired,
Me? I'm just too wired.
Burma-Shave

Ellemeno has joined in,
Wrote about Jack’s ‘lil sin,
When he drove away so sad,
After Ennis was a cad.
Burma-Shave

Jack got lucky marrying in,
To the money, got new kin,
He considered all the factors,
Like hundred thousand dollar tractors.
Burma-Shave


by Ellemeno     1 day ago (Sat Dec 16 2006 06:36:28 )    

Alma hopes her sister will take,
Ennis is craving a good round steak,
"Crayons!" wishes the little child.
What are peanuts doing on the condiments aisle?
Burma Shave


Re: OMG -- look at the top banner!    
by ClancyPantsDelMar     1 day ago (Sat Dec 16 2006 13:05:14 )    


Hi LauraGigs --

"Look at the banner at the top of the page! An ad saying "Now you can shave everywhere . . ." with a pic of a razor next to a pair of . . . balls!? LOL . . ."

OMG! Yes. I'll bet that since the word "shave" is so prominent in this thread, the IMDb computer has attached a shaving (razor) ad to this thread. It may change over time, but I saw it too. How funny!

Norelco razors may be nice,
For cutting through the snow and ice,
But when cutting a whisker is what you crave,
Nothing beats a
Burma-Shave

   
by latjoreme     1 day ago (Sat Dec 16 2006 13:10:52 )    

Look at the banner at the top of the page! An ad saying "Now you can shave everywhere . . ." with a pic of a razor next to a pair of . . . balls!? LOL . .

People shave all kinds of places
In addition to legs and faces
But what you may not have tried before
Is using a razor on your ... Christmas decor.
Burma Shave

   
by djo-17     20 hours ago (Sat Dec 16 2006 17:13:28 )    

"Jack Twist", he said with a warm handshake
A beautiful friendship they started to make
Although Ennis was at first a bit leary
That day outside the trailer of Aguirre.
Burma Shave

They made quite a sheep herdin' pair
In the crisp, clear Brokeback air
Then one night in the tent to their surprise
They had found true love under Brokeback's skies.
Burma Shave

"I ain't queer" said Ennis in Jack's ear
"Me neither" said Jack, both controlled by fear
Of what awful danger could lie ahead
If it came to be known they'd shared a bed.
Burma Shave

Alas, they suffered the fate
Of those whose love was denied by fear and by hate
Ennis holding those two shirts
Oh, how with sad longing he hurts.
Burma Shave

Now he has only his reveries
In his heart as he sees
They were always a perfect pair
As he tearfully says "Jack, I swear...."
Burma Shave

   
by plsntdrms     20 hours ago (Sat Dec 16 2006 17:25:29 )    


I love Ennis, and I love Jack
So much so, I keep going back (23 times to be exact)
I watch their love span 20 years
"Jack, I swear", oh, gosh, here comes more tears!
Burma-Shave


by Ellemeno     18 hours ago (Sat Dec 16 2006 18:51:50 )    

For the beauty of the meadow,
Thank Prieto
For the chords that take us high-a,
Santaolalla
Burma Shave


by spiceylife     17 hours ago (Sat Dec 16 2006 20:28:48 )    

Ennis waiting, patiently
Will my lover come to me?
There he is...Jack F uckin' Twist
Darlin' Jack, how you've been missed
Burma-Shave

Ennis could not hold it back
The love he felt for this man, Jack
His mouth sought Jack's, he beat his fears
A kiss that waited four long years
Burma-Shave

Lips and tongues and teeth all met
Days and nights of yearning, yet
Ennis knew he must have Jack
Face to face, or round the back
Burma-Shave

Took a room at the Siesta
Love and lust, a wild fiesta
Two souls had become as one
Boys don't fall in love with fun
Burma-Shave


by Dancing_Bear     16 hours ago (Sat Dec 16 2006 20:52:26 )    

Glances stolen with great care
Love forbidden they did share
Two cowboy hats, one white, one black
Two hearts entwined, on ole’ Brokeback
Burma Shave

One boot propped up on the fire
Whiskey sparking their desire
Jack says with a happy grin
“Full moon’s up, shall we turn in?”
Burma Shave

Though we see that Trolls abound
The Brokeback board is safe and sound
dav and ddmaul both bristle
TomTrue chews them into gristle
Clancy threads them on a skewer
Troll chunks float down to the sewer
Burma Shave

When the Trolls post on this board
Littlewing girds on her sword
Delete, delete, each troll is slayed
As Jackie leads the Light Brigade
BURMA SHAVE!!

Offline TOoP/Bruce

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Re: Burma Shave
« Reply #6 on: June 09, 2007, 02:50:51 pm »
REPOST continued...
===================================================================================

Burma Shave

by ClancyPantsDelMar (Fri Dec 15 2006 00:00:44 )


Well it’s time for me to sleep,
Can’t think of anything oh too deep.
But before I drift away,
Here is what I’d like to say…

To all my friends on this board,
(Such a kind and thoughtful horde)
While trolls may send you awful curses,
I give you these perky verses.

This one bumps the good old threads,
When the rest of us go to bed,
Keeping wisdom in the mix,
True_Oracle_of_Phoenix.
Burma-Shave

He will write a humorous post,
Coming up with real good jokes,
When you want to tee-hee,
Look for posts by Clyde-B.
Burma-Shave

Always one to have some fun,
This one posted more than one,
Mostly ‘bout shaving hair,
Thanks to you, Dancing_Bear.
Burma-Shave

Trucks and dolls and bats and balls,
This guy sure does have them all,
If you want to play real soon,
Get a toy from toycoon.
Burma-Shave

In the film finds symbolism,
This dude’s posts don’t be missin’,
Looks for meanings real fine,
It’s richardg49.
Burma-Shave

Who is it who sure loves Jack?
His face, his sides, his front, his back?
With him she is just in heaven,
It’s littlewing1957.
Burma-Shave

Knows I'm goofy, odd, and old,
Let’s me know when I've been told,
All my errors, she does catch 'em,
Must be that brilliant latjoreme.
Burma-Shave

Don’t really know her all too well,
But her posts are really swell.
In one thread her posts were many,
Wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without JPJenny.
Burma-Shave

Been here longer than a lot,
All her posts really dot
The threads that we all dig,
She contributes, LauraGigs.
Burma-Shave

Someone here came along,
Wrote some things that were wrong,
Must have been a masturbator,
Posts deleted by an administrator.
Burma-Shave

Sometimes right and sometimes wrong,
Posts may be short or too long,
Against the trolls he often rants,
Who could it be? It's ClancyPants...
Del Burma-Shave Mar




by spiceylife (Fri Dec 15 2006 00:24:07 )


'S'alright, s'alright,' Jack Twist said
Lay back now and place your head
Upon my lovely, manly chest
Don't you know I love you best?
Burma-Shave

J lay down on top of E
Love in J's eyes for E to see
E surrendered, gave his all
Who came first? Too close to call
Burma-Shave

Ennis, Ennis, we love you
Jack, you know we love you, too
Made us see things very clear
Kept us here for near one year
Burma-Shave




by malina-5 (Fri Dec 15 2006 00:36:37 )


Sort of a burma/fanfic/AU combo...

What Aguirre saw
through his binocs
made him think
outside the box –
Burma-Shave!

Look at those fellas
Stem the rose
Right there under
My very nose!
Burma-Shave!

Still, he mused,
that Jack’s right purdy,
Lips like an angel,
But his mind’s quite dirty
Burma-Shave!

An’ Ennis, well he’s
the strong silent one,
Good to see ‘im havin’
a bit of fun.
Burma-Shave!

Aguirre’s hand
Went down his slacks
As he watched them make
the beast with two backs
Burma-Shave!

Aguirre mused
On his way down
That was more fun
Than a night on the town!
Burma-Shave!

Maybe this August
Herdin’ done for the year,
I’ll buy ‘em both
A nice cold beer
Burma-Shave!

Jus’ take my two herders
Out for a beer
I’ll be sure ta tell ‘em
That I ain’t no queer.
Burma-Shave!

It’ll be right nice,
Aguirre thought,
Go out with my herders,
Cause that Jack is sure hot!
Burma-Shave!




by malina-5 (Fri Dec 15 2006 00:45:54 )


spicey, yours is a ballad of loveliness. true, too.




by ClancyPantsDelMar (Fri Dec 15 2006 01:09:12 )


Hi spiceylife and malina-5 --

Unbelievable! Fantastic contributions. Some leave me... speechless... ??




by spiceylife (Fri Dec 15 2006 01:37:04 )


Thanks, Malina and Clancy.

This thread is great! Thanks for thinking of it, Clancy. We have some talented people on the Brokeback boards. I've loved all the little Jack and Ennis poems everyone's posted. Very sweet, very funny.




by toycoon (Fri Dec 15 2006 02:53:24 )


I agree with the peanut gallery, could there ever have been a better forum?
This one's dedicated to my Canuck buddy, Doug:

Brokeback Mountain vs. Crash
Parity in Hollywood can be rash;
When all said and all is done,
Now I know we have more fun!
Burma Shave




by ClancyPantsDelMar (Fri Dec 15 2006 08:14:55 )


Always came home rather perky,
Ennis could not carve the turkey,
Never many fishes caught,
With his wife, Ennis fought.
Burma-Shave




by LauraGigs (Fri Dec 15 2006 09:59:23 )


A torch for Jack our man did carry,
from the day they both met Joe Aguirre.
And though his stare was harsh and glary,
he sent them to Brokeback, high and airy.
Ennis said "I ain't no fairy"
Though he'd given Jack his cherry.
Yelled "Joe didn't treat us fairly!"
and in the face, he socked Jack squarely.
At summer's end, t'was customary
to give a brief commentary.
But Aguirre stated clearly
of no-good ranch stiffs, he was weary.
Ennis stumbled, sad and bleary.
All his feelings — just so scary.
(Adam with Eve, not Steve with Larry!
nor Tom with Jason, Dick with Harry!)
This gay thing was just temporary
I'll be okay if I just marry.
Ensuing years were somewhat dreary.
Each was married to a dearie
but be it justly or unfairly,
they liked their loves more strong and hairy.
Jack came up with a quick theory:
"Ranch together?" was his query.
But E's reply was not so cheery;
his memories were just too eerie.
Feared folks would shout "Hear ye Hear ye,
Del Mar's queer!" so he was leery.
Jack sought his shack out on the prairie
but his drive back was oh so teary!
(Jack had a few hits o' sherry
and read a Spanish dicktionary.)
Thanksgiving they tried making merry,
but Alma was still angry. Very.
They camped together three times yearly,
but Jack got bitter and contrary.
"These damn cold outings never vary –
always feels like January!"
To the PO del Mar did ferry,
read the card and didn't tarry.
Gave condolences, sincerely
and asked Lureen, "Where is he buried?"
Met John Twist, a legendary
jerk—glare cold as February.
Jack's dear mom was much less scary –
gave him a precious sack to carry.
For his fears, Ennis paid dearly.
"Jack I swear." (Oh can you hear me?)
Burma Shave




by ClancyPantsDelMar (Fri Dec 15 2006 10:15:15 )


LauraGigs, LauraGigs, LauraGigs!

That is the best one by far!

I loved it! Especially the river reunion part.

So here's one for you:

LauraGigs she sure can rhyme,
Kept it all in metered time.
Summarized the Brokeback tale,
She has earned the Mountain Grail!
Burma-Shave




by toycoon (Fri Dec 15 2006 10:44:06 )



You definitely take the cherry cake!

Thanks so much for this charming thread, ClancyPants.




by True_Oracle_of_Phoenix (Fri Dec 15 2006 14:41:54 )


Yee-haw fer all a you! You guys are great!




by ClancyPantsDelMar (Fri Dec 15 2006 14:56:18 )


Made Jack really glad to get
The postcard with the words "You bet."
With Ennis in his thoughts he gave
His face a good close
Burma-Shave




by malina-5 (Fri Dec 15 2006 14:58:19 )


Oh my goodness. Laura, you are tremendously talented.. I am in awe.




by latjoreme (Fri Dec 15 2006 15:13:38 )


Fantastic, LauraGigs! You're the Homer of Brokeback Mountain.




by Dancing_Bear (Fri Dec 15 2006 15:18:54 )


WAHOO!!!! Takes my breath away, LauraGigs!




by littlewing1957 (Fri Dec 15 2006 18:54:51 )


This is amazing, LauraGigs!




by djo-17 (Fri Dec 15 2006 21:19:55 )



toycoon: Gee, thanks. I couldn't have said it better myself!
I'll try to think of one by tomorrow, and post it after work, if I'm not too tired after getting up at 4:40 a.m. lol. Of course, I just need to "suck it up", and do it, EH!

See y'all tomorrow.




by Ellemeno (Fri Dec 15 2006 21:56:10 )


"I sure am sorry" rang in Jack's ears
Alone in the truck he wiped his tears
Oh, from Ennis he wanted more
But all he got was a cute señor
Burma Shave

Haiku, acronyms, limericks,
ABCs, drabbles, AU fics
"I LOVE Everything"s, "Lines Visualized"
Relay team sports that keep our words exercised.
Now Burma Shave




by LauraGigs (Fri Dec 15 2006 23:04:38 )


Thanks so much everybody!!  Couldn't have done it without yall's inspiration. Great stuff here!

(I was going to write a little thank-you poem, but I'm pretty fried after all that... nothing emptier than an empty head... )




by ClancyPantsDelMar (Sat Dec 16 2006 00:55:23 )


A couple people must go to sleep,
Hard to come up with words too deep,
When one is really tired,
Me? I'm just too wired.
Burma-Shave

Ellemeno has joined in,
Wrote about Jack’s ‘lil sin,
When he drove away so sad,
After Ennis was a cad.
Burma-Shave

Jack got lucky marrying in,
To the money, got new kin,
He considered all the factors,
Like hundred thousand dollar tractors.
Burma-Shave

Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

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Re: Burma Shave
« Reply #7 on: June 09, 2007, 02:55:58 pm »
Burma Shave REPOST Continued...
===========================================================================================

by ClancyPantsDelMar     (Wed Dec 20 2006 19:42:18 )   


Good old posts may be deleted,
But the trolls will not beat us,
Brings such a good feeling to Clancy,
I think I’ll wear my pink panties.
Burma-Shave

If the trolls strike again,
Do not fear, do not dread,
I saved it all to re-post,
Of it they cannot make toast.
Burma-Shave

So come and post some more rhymes,
We’ll make it better the second time,
So much love and imagination,
I enjoy all your creations.
Burma-Shave

Back to the film, back to Brokeback,
Back to Ennis, Alma and Jack,
Lureen and Bobby, Jenny, too,
And Alma Junior with earrings blue.
Burma-Shave

On the mountain one fine morn,
A one-time constant love was born,
Do we know just what it is?
Love, a Force of Nature, tis.
Burma-Shave


Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by littlewing1957     (Wed Dec 20 2006 19:51:15 )   

   
Good job, Clancy! I'm so glad you got so much of this back! Here's one just for you..

One morning after a
Fishing episode
Ennis and Jack headed home
It was getting too cold
Ennis asked Jack,
"What are these signs along the road?"
Said Jack to Ennis,
"Have you been living in a cave?
Those signs are ads for a
Burma Shave!"

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by ClancyPantsDelMar     (Wed Dec 20 2006 20:21:34 )
   
   
Hi littlewing1957 --

You are such a sweet person. I wish more people could be just like you!     

So, just for you --

Jack is tall and Jack is lean,
Looks mighty fine just in jeans,
Your spirits by his face do raise,
Do you like him scruffy or with a
Burma-Shave?

Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

Offline TOoP/Bruce

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Re: Burma Shave
« Reply #8 on: June 09, 2007, 03:05:44 pm »
Burma Shave - a classic REPOST continues...
==================================================================================================
Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by ClancyPantsDelMar     (Wed Dec 20 2006 21:19:47 )   


UPDATED Thu Dec 21 2006 10:38:20

Lureen jumped Jack,
Quite an attack,
Uncovered her chest,
We saw breasts!
Burma-Shave

Alma under Ennis lay,
Asked him how he would pay,
For more kids, 'twas her hit,
Then she showed us her two t!t$.
Burma-Shave


Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by plsntdrms     (Wed Dec 20 2006 22:25:40 )
   

Ennis' dad was a son of a *itch
Showing him a dead man in a ditch
Said it was cuz he was gay
Ennis was scarred for life that day
Burma-Shave

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by toycoon      (Wed Dec 20 2006 22:53:26 )   

   
UPDATED Wed Dec 20 2006 22:55:44
Ennis calmly eatin' apple pie,
The cowboy hat that caught her eye.
Good for me? Dear Cassie did snarl
Fun or not, she's stuck with Karl!
Burma-Shave

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by latjoreme     (Wed Dec 20 2006 23:12:57 )   

   
Yay! Good save, CPDM!

"You weren't fishin," Alma said.
"Shut up," said Ennis, turning red.
"You saw the creel case in my truck,
"How dare you imply we went up there to do anything other than fish."
Burma Shave

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by littlewing1957     (Wed Dec 20 2006 23:20:32 )   

   
Latjoreme, this is too cute

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by spiceylife     (Wed Dec 20 2006 23:23:41 )
   
   
"You saw the creel case in my truck,
"How dare you imply we went up there to do anything other than fish."

Very clever, latjoreme! 

By my side, by my side
I wish you were

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by ClancyPantsDelMar     (Wed Dec 20 2006 23:51:57 )   

   
latjoreme, latjoreme, latjoreme...

I had to read it twice before I "got" it. But then I did. And it appears everyone else did. Well, I never said I ain't no dumbass mule. Very cleverly done!

For you...

Jack's mother was very nice.
His father was like itchy lice,
But some fathers act as kindly gents,
Look at Gerald to Katey Scarlett.
Burma-Shave

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by Ellemeno     (Thu Dec 21 2006 01:06:39 )
   

latjoreme, I had to read it more than once too. You da bomb. Can you please repost your Troll/Grinch one? I was trying to describe it to Lynne and shakestheground yesterday.


When she dances, she shakes her tresses
Because the other guys it impresses
Cassie is a Breck girl, cute and coy
But all Ennis wants is his Brokeback boy
Burma Shave


Those roadside signs were populor
But we're behind the times since '74
Nations change names on terra firma
We oughta ask - Your folks stop at Burma?
Myanmar Shave



BetterMost, where trolls don't last an hour.
http://bettermost.net/forum

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by ClancyPantsDelMar     (Thu Dec 21 2006 01:18:31 )
   
   
UPDATED Thu Dec 21 2006 01:22:18


Ellemeno you are witty,
All your rhymes are nice and pretty,
You’ve got class, you’ve got grace,
You bring it all to this place.
Burma-Shave

You know the culture of our nation,
Of the signs we saw on vacation,
As we dross across the states,
With our kids and our mates.
Burma-Shave

Keep ‘em coming, this I ask,
I know you are up to the task,
I like your wit and sense of humor,
Could you be a baby-boomer?
Burma-Shave

I know that it is now quite late,
But before you run out the gate,
Before you say it's the end,
I sent to you a PM.
Burma-Shave



Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by Ellemeno     (Thu Dec 21 2006 01:26:33 )
   

I sure must be fancy
To get a PM from Clancy
Burma Shave!



BetterMost, where trolls don't last an hour.
http://bettermost.net/forum

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by latjoreme     (Thu Dec 21 2006 07:54:46 )
   
   
UPDATED Thu Dec 21 2006 07:56:52
Can you please repost your Troll/Grinch one? I was trying to describe it to Lynne and shakestheground yesterday.

Thanks, Ellemeno! I don't have a copy of the Troll/Grinch one. I composed it right in the reply window. The Grinch apparently stole it. 

P.S. Speaking of good ones,

Nations change names on terra firma
We oughta ask - Your folks stop at Burma?
Myanmar Shave


Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by latjoreme     (Thu Dec 21 2006 08:00:37 )
   
   
Jack's mother was very nice.
His father was like itchy lice,
But some fathers act as kindly gents,
Look at Gerald to Katey Scarlett.
Burma-Shave

 

Thanks, ClancyPantsDelMar!
Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by littlewing1957     (Thu Dec 21 2006 09:40:47 )
   

Clancy, this is a repost of Burma Shave "poems" I wrote that weren't recovered. I keep my Burma Shave rhymes in my head....

Twas the week before Xmas
And though they were apart
Jack wanted to send Ennis
A little something from the heart
To the love of his life
Our Jack Twist gave
A gift card for a
Burma Shave!

Twas the night before Xmas
And a package from Jack
Was delivered to Riverton
Ennis was taken aback!
Ennis had horses to tend
And a road to pave
But all that could wait till after his
Burma Shave!

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by littlewing1957     (Thu Dec 21 2006 11:35:14 )
   
   
The week after Xmas
Ennis felt his jaw
It was downy as a peach
But weather-beaten and raw!
"My skin is too tender,
Jack's gift I will save
Until my jaw is ready for a
Burma Shave!"

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by ClancyPantsDelMar     (Thu Dec 21 2006 14:06:41 )
   

Hi littlewing1957 --

Very nice! Do you have big feet? 

Didn't tell secrets, didn't teach to ride,
Old Man Twist didn't take Jack to his side,
But Jack wouldn't turn out like the old sap,
Taught Bobby tractor ridin', his boy on his lap.
Burma-Shave

Ennis could sing with a drone,
The words to "Strawberry Roan,"
Then Jack would sing in a similar way,
"Water-walkin' Jesus take me away..."
Burma-Shave



Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by toycoon      (Thu Dec 21 2006 15:42:19 )   


A cattle ranch was Jack's fondest mission,
With Ennis by his side, he was wishin'
Jack took up one day
with Randall, some say,
And they still didn't do any fishin'!
Burma-Shave
Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

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Re: Burma Shave
« Reply #9 on: June 09, 2007, 03:18:47 pm »
Burma Shave - the classic REPOST continues...

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by littlewing1957     (Thu Dec 21 2006 18:31:22 )   

   
Toycoon, Baby, this one is for you,

Two weeks after Xmas
Warm in a tent
Jack and Ennis were spooned
and spent 
A sly wink to his lover
Jack Twist gave
But Ennis drew back and said,
"Oh Jack, behave!
Your rights to more lovin'
You must waive
Until you take me to get my
Burma Shave!"

I loved your gift so much, littlewing1957-   
  by toycoon      (Thu Dec 21 2006 18:51:29 )
   

UPDATED Thu Dec 21 2006 19:01:38
I wrote one for you!


What was it between us, he marveled to Jack,
That made Ennis hungry, compelled to come back?
This 'thing that grabs hold-a us', unnameable thing
Light as a feather, delicate as a little wing.
Burma-Shave

Re: I loved your gift so much, littlewing1957-   
  by littlewing1957     (Thu Dec 21 2006 21:41:47 )   

   
Toycoon, this is great! I love it!

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by littlewing1957     (Thu Dec 21 2006 18:35:47 )
   
   
<<Very nice! Do you have big feet?>>

Yep!

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by littlewing1957     (Wed Dec 20 2006 23:22:44 )
   

<<Jack is tall and Jack is lean,
Looks mighty fine just in jeans,
Your spirits by his face do raise,
Do you like him scruffy or with a
Burma-Shave?>>

Beautiful, Clancy! Thanks for this! 


Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by ricmalic     (Tue Jan 2 2007 20:47:33 )
   
   
I am actually old enough to remember Burma Shave signs (though not old enough to have used the product at the time!)

Thanks for the updating and the humor, which sometimes seems sorely needed when BBM is discussed.

Burma-Shave Bath   
  by malina-5     (Thu Dec 21 2006 19:41:43 )
   
   
while Ennis bathed,
with water hot
Jack peeled potatoes
for the pot
Burma-Shave

Hearing Ennis
Give a yelp,
Jack said, "Friend,
Y'need some help?"
Burma-Shave

Ennis said, "Yeah,
Cain't reach my back,
All scratched up from
That bear attack"
Burma-Shave

Jack dropped the taters
In the dirt,
Rushed to see
Where Ennis was hurt
Burma-Shave

He took the flannel
In his hand
Behind his friend
He went to stand
Burma-Shave

That night, asleep,
In his tent called 'pup'
Jack thought about the bath
And... something came up!
Burma-Shave





...it's easier to change the sheets/ than change what's in your head
- The Ne-er-do-Wells

Re: Burma-Shave Bath   
  by littlewing1957     (Thu Dec 21 2006 21:50:28 )
   

That night, asleep,
In his tent called 'pup'
Jack thought about the bath
And... something came up!
Burma-Shave

Ohhhh....
Re: Burma-Shave Bath   
  by malina-5     (Thu Dec 21 2006 21:56:21 )   

   
<<That night, asleep,
In his tent called 'pup'
Jack thought about the bath
And... something came up!
Burma-Shave

Ohhhh.... >>

Yes, inspired by The Brady Bunch Movie, where "something suddenly came up" was repeatedly used by Greg as a double entendre, and very amusing it was, too!

...it's easier to change the sheets/ than change what's in your head
- The Ne-er-do-Wells


Re: Burma-Shave Bath   
  by BannerHill     (Fri Dec 22 2006 03:25:13 )
   

Jack and ennis
Sittin in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First came love
But there weren't no marriage
Jack ended up
In a hearse or carriage

Burma Shave



Thank you....thank you very much. No really. Youre too kind.....thank you....


Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by Shasta254     (Fri Dec 22 2006 06:51:22 )
   

I love the Burma Shave creativity!

"Gettin' tired of your dumbass missin'!"
Re: The Return of Burma-Shave
   
  by ClancyPantsDelMar     (Fri Dec 22 2006 11:25:11 )   
   

"Ennis you can move away,
Escape your paranoiac way."
But Jack's idea was a clinker,
Ennis called him a real thinker.
Burma-Shave

Jack could do it over the phone,
His matin' call he did hone,
But Ennis would not call him, no,
Sent him postcards as we know.
Burma-Shave

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by plsntdrms     (Fri Dec 22 2006 14:08:13 )
   

we saw the glances, the looks
we saw it in the way Ennis cooks
attraction growing before our eyes
their coupling came as no surprise
Burma-Shave

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by ClancyPantsDelMar     (Fri Dec 22 2006 15:39:16 )   
   



Go to sleep may your sweet dreams come true,
Dream of cowboys in brown coats and shirts of blue,
Jack in the wind with the birds of the tree,
Ennis Del Mar, Isle of the Sea.
Burma-Shave

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by littlewing1957     (Fri Dec 22 2006 18:12:01 )   

   
<<Go to sleep may your sweet dreams come true,
Dream of cowboys in brown coats and shirts of blue,
Jack in the wind with the birds of the tree,
Ennis Del Mar, Isle of the Sea.
Burma-Shave>>

Beautiful, just beautiful!

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by ClancyPantsDelMar     (Fri Dec 22 2006 23:38:24 )   

   
Hi littlewing1957 --

Well guess who I had in mind when I wrote it?

Let's try two more --

Ennis stood at the trailer stair,
Jack drove up without a care,
'Til he saw the look Ennis gave,
Figured he'd give himself a
Burma-Shave

Jack grew some upper lip fuzz,
Thought it would make friend Ennis buzz,
Ennis to Jack a queer look gave,
Figured Jack skipped his
Burma-Shave

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by littlewing1957     (Sat Dec 23 2006 18:28:46 )
   

<<Well guess who I had in mind when I wrote it?>>

Ahhh, this is so sweet.  Clancy, this one is for you...

When Ennis and Jack brought
Aguirre's sheep down
The old man studied them
With a frown
Sheep #761 was fat
Most were slim
A few never went up to Brokeback
With them
Aguirre shouted at the ranch hands,
"You scoundrels, you knaves,
You didn't earn your bonuses, your
Burma Shaves!"



Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by ClancyPantsDelMar     (Sat Dec 23 2006 18:57:49 )   

   
Well that is very sweet, littlewing1957! Too often people forget my little lamb... but not ewe!


Clancy had a little lamb,
It was a girl and not a ram,
When he'd look at his little ewe,
All he could think of was hot lamb stew!
Burma-Shave 




Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by littlewing1957     (Sat Dec 23 2006 19:54:05 )
   
   
<<Clancy had a little lamb,
It was a girl and not a ram,
When he'd look at his little ewe,
All he could think of was hot lamb stew!
Burma-Shave>>

 
Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by littlewing1957     (Tue Dec 26 2006 15:19:55 )
   
   
UPDATED Tue Dec 26 2006 22:16:01
Ah, Clancy, forgive me if this seems bleak, but I'll add a more cheerful rhyme later--

A new year is close
The fishing trips are through
Jack Twist,
Destiny Is calling you
Don't be distressed
Though your triumphs were few
In the name of love
You gave Ennis his due
To Ennis Del Mar
You even gave
The ultimate gift.. a
Burma Shave!

Burma-Shave Reunion   
  by toycoon      (Tue Dec 26 2006 22:45:20 )
   
   
Ennis waited for what seemed like forever
'Fishing buddies', a lie and not terribly clever;
Incredible attraction that neither could miss
Between the two men, one unbelievable kiss.
Burma-Shave

Re: Burma-Shave Reunion   
  by littlewing1957     (Tue Dec 26 2006 23:02:38 )
   
   
A kiss so sweet
Followed by sighs
Anointed by passion
Scarred by lies
Many slights from Ennis
Jack Twist forgave
In the midst of one last
Burma Shave

Okay, those last two lines weren't very good, but it's late 

Re: Burma-Shave Reunion   
  by ClancyPantsDelMar     (Wed Dec 27 2006 00:15:12 )   


Ha ha littlewing1957 --

I think that's wonderful. I liked both of yours and toycoon's. They're all a lot of fun.

Let's see...

Alma tried to pin Ennis down,
Didn't want him with no rodeo clown.
Scared that with Jack Ennis would accompany,
Told him of the job over at the power company.
Burma-Shave

"Honey," said Jack to Lureen,
"Where in tarnation has my parka been?"
"You was in it," she replied,
"Well if I don't find it, I may die..."
Burma-Shave

But he didn't, he lived on,
After he found it, he was gone,
Off to see ol' friend Del Mar,
Up in Wyoming, way up far.
Burma-Shave

They rode their horses, did some fishin',
Brought none home like Alma was wishin',
Then Bobby's driving Jack endorsed,
Soon thereafter, Ennis divorced.
Burma-Shave





A middle of the night Burma-Shave poem...   
  by toycoon      (Wed Dec 27 2006 04:06:36 )   

   
UPDATED Wed Dec 27 2006 18:05:43
Howdy Clancy and the rest of the flock,


Away in a pup tent, a bag for a bed;
A shepherd named Ennis, lays down his thick head.
"I miss you so much, Jack Twist," he never could say
and too late old Ennis finds Jack felt the same way.
Burma-Shave

Re: A middle of the night Burma-Shave poem...   
  by ClancyPantsDelMar     (Wed Dec 27 2006 05:34:28 )   

   
Hi toycoon --

I love the line "lays down his thick head"!! Very good.

LD was a proud old gramps,
On Jack he often put the clamps,
Tried too hard to control him,
Got himself a real scoldin'.
Burma-Shave

Alma Jr. is now gone,
Leaving Ennis all withdrawn,
Still, she left him her blue sweater,
To him, the closet holds something better.
Burma-Shave




Re: A middle of the night Burma-Shave poem...   
  by littlewing1957     (Wed Dec 27 2006 19:36:41 )
   
   
For the love of a man and
The love of his child,
Ennis opened his closet,
Two shirts beguiled
Alma's sweater and Ennis's shirt
Both so blue..
"Jack Twist, I will always
Remember you!
Next to our love
Alma's sweater I'll save,
Right now I'll go get that
Burma Shave!"

Does this make sense?

Re: A middle of the night Burma-Shave poem...   
  by dieyoungandhappy     (Wed Dec 27 2006 19:55:09 )   

   
Yeah, it does.

Ok, I'm horrible at these things, so I won't even attempt to do one :p

Re: A middle of the night Burma-Shave poem...   
  by littlewing1957     (Wed Dec 27 2006 20:04:51 )
   
   
UPDATED Wed Dec 27 2006 22:11:25
Thanks!

Oh, you can do it! Give it a try...it's fun!
Re: A middle of the night Burma-Shave poem...   
  by littlewing1957     (Thu Dec 28 2006 13:47:45 )
   

"I need you, Jack Twist
You are my boy,
I caused you great pain
You gave me nothing but joy.
You offered me love and
What did I do?
From the depths of my soul
I'm calling you.
Calling beyond tire irons and graves
Beyond the sensation of
Burma Shaves."

Re: A middle of the night Burma-Shave poem...   
  by ClancyPantsDelMar     (Sat Dec 30 2006 16:32:25 )   




Happy Jack drove day and night,
To see if Ennis was o’er his fright.
But the answer was really bad,
So Jack drove home feeling sad.
Burma-Shave


But he’s got wife and he’s got Bobby,
They’re his family, not his hobby.
So to his son advice he gave,
Taught him how to
Burma-Shave


Burma-Shave signs on the road,
Put Jack in an Ennis mode.
“Go back home” so Ennis says,
Now Jack sees the sign “Juarez.”
Burma-Shave


Clouds roll in, they run for cover,
Hail comes down, they hold each other,
‘Til the weather looks much better,
Too bad the sheep had no fetters.
Burma-Shave


Re: A New Year Burma-Shave poem...   
  by Ellemeno     (Tue Jan 2 2007 20:14:44 )   


Some of us started in 2005
It's 2007, and the love's still alive
Every day of 2006
We carried the yearning we can't stand or fix
Burma Shave

BetterMost, where trolls don't stick an hour.
http://bettermost.net/forum

Re: A New Year Burma-Shave poem...   
  by littlewing1957     (Tue Jan 2 2007 20:35:05 )   

   
Some of us started in 2005
It's 2007, and the love's still alive
Every day of 2006
We carried the yearning we can't stand or fix
Burma Shave

Ellemeno, this is just beautiful. And true!

Re: A New Year Burma-Shave poem...   
  by daphne7661     (Tue Jan 2 2007 20:38:59 )   


In TS2, Ennis was shy
Jack's gentle means made us cry
Their passion took flight as did their love
They fit each other like hand in glove
Burma Shave


We've been bewitched by B-B-M
This little movie, such a gem
Who knew it packed such a punch
Of this we had not even a hunch
Burma Shave


Four years of waiting, four years alone
Jack sent his postcard to Ennis' home
Alma is there, but we don't want to hate 'er
We only want to hear Ennis whisper, "later"
Burma Shave



...Nice to know ya, Ennis del Mar...

Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

Offline TOoP/Bruce

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Re: Burma Shave
« Reply #10 on: June 09, 2007, 03:25:07 pm »
Burma Shave - the classic REPOST continues...
=======================================================================================

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by True_Oracle_of_Phoenix      2 days ago (Fri Jan 12 2007 11:49:24 )
   
      
UPDATED Fri Jan 12 2007 14:33:40
In dejection, Jack tried prostitution,
and grew a moustache of disillusion.
Sometimes a relationship just can't be saved,
But a moustache can always be Burma-shaved!

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by Ellemeno     2 days ago (Fri Jan 12 2007 23:50:20 )
   
   
In dejection, Jack tried prostitution,
and grew a moustache of disillusion.
Sometimes a relationship just can't be saved,
But a moustache can always be Burma-shaved!

(clapping hands)

BetterMost, where trolls don't stick an hour.
http://bettermost.net/forum

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by ClancyPantsDelMar     2 days ago (Sat Jan 13 2007 00:54:32 )
   

I second Ellemeno's praise,
of TOoP's verse on the shave.
It was filled with panache,
Like the post on Jack's moustache.
Burma-Shave

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by True_Oracle_of_Phoenix      1 day ago (Sat Jan 13 2007 14:12:51 )
   
      
UPDATED Sat Jan 13 2007 14:24:46
Q. In the trailer, Ennis at the end,
said words I didn't comprehend...
What words of love did he say there?

A. (Oh, one more time...): "Jack, I swear..."
Burma-Shave

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by Dancing_Bear     1 day ago (Sat Jan 13 2007 15:02:21 )   

   
This one turned out sad for some reason...

Thwarted lives and mute desire
Embers of love's raging fire
Winds on Brokeback Mountain fanned it
They can't fix it, gotta stand it

Burma Shave
Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by toycoon      1 day ago (Sat Jan 13 2007 15:07:56 )
   

UPDATED Sat Jan 13 2007 15:16:37
This one turned out sad for some reason...

Yes, but it is very majestic. It's my favorite Burma Shave poem so far this year.

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by Dancing_Bear     1 day ago (Sat Jan 13 2007 15:14:53 )   

   
Aw, thanks toycoon, you're a sweetie... these little poems are turning out to be like some sort of Rorshach indicator or mood ring or something!

Re: The Return of Burma-Shave   
  by True_Oracle_of_Phoenix      17 hours ago (Sun Jan 14 2007 10:47:55 )
   
      
On SNL, Jake wore a dress
His singing caused me some distress.
To be "Dreamgirl", Jake was Brave--
His armpits needed Burma-Shave!


==============================================================================================

This is the end of the REPOST:  Feel free to contribute as the spirit moves you!

TOoP/Bruce
Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: Burma Shave
« Reply #11 on: June 09, 2007, 03:55:31 pm »
           Faye said little Bobby looked like LD
          Lureen was skeptical as she should be.
          If he looked like that ugly old man
          Jack would give his face a complete ban
          he smiled a lot, and was cuter than he
          Burma Shave

          They bought her formula one hundred and twenty
          Jack went and got them, a formula plenty
          It would save Lureens girlish figure
          To bottle feed the baby was not as much rigour
          It wasnt as cheap though it cost many centey
          Burma Shave
« Last Edit: June 09, 2007, 09:16:15 pm by ifyoucantfixit »



     Beautiful mind

Offline TOoP/Bruce

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Re: Burma Shave
« Reply #12 on: June 09, 2007, 05:05:10 pm »
If Brillo pad sideburns ...



are what you crave...




Then don't even bother...


To BURMA SHAVE.
Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: Burma Shave
« Reply #13 on: June 09, 2007, 10:52:26 pm »
Burma Shave,  by Janice

       I remember the signs as we drove hwy 66
       We never knew if they were for schooling hicks

        We loved seeing them pass on by
         As we  were traveling fast on the fly

        We liked them better than most of the billboard pics
        Burma Shave

        



     Beautiful mind

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: Burma Shave
« Reply #14 on: June 10, 2007, 02:10:40 am »
YAY!  We are so funny and touching!  Thanks Bruce and LauraGigs!

Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: Burma Shave
« Reply #15 on: June 11, 2007, 07:27:02 pm »


          Jack missed Ennis he could hardly stand it.
          His face was so sad, no words could mend it
          Ennis only looked sideways as he mused
          Knew that his loved one felt completely used
          His chance was lost to give him his gambit
          Burma Shave



     Beautiful mind