"Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....

[TOoP/Bruce]

by - bjblakeslee (Tue May 9 2006 13:43:22 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 

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"Sunday Black Sunday"

Plot Synopsis:

Disgruntled members of the Academy are planning an attack at the Academy Awards (formerly known as "The Gay Superbowl") and it’s up to Tom Cruise to bring the plot to an end in "Sunday Black Sunday."

God help the Academy...

Ang Lee plays a director who won a Best Director award for a film that was snubbed for best picture. Jake and Heath play actors who were cheated out of Best Supporting Actor/Best Actor awards and who want to get back at the Academy for the snub done to their careers and to their movie Brokeback Mountain. The mastermind behind many of the events, Michelle helps to engineer the plot by marrying Heath, having a child, and allowing the couple to stay in the United States while they plot their revenge. Jake is part of the plot and becomes a godfather to the child Heath and Michelle give birth to. Michelle, who was also cheated of an Academy Award for Best Supporting actress, deftly masterminds their revenge plot.

The plot involves importing plastic explosives from the mid-east in the form of glow in the dark plastic crucifixes, hijacking the Snoopy One blimp and crashing the booby-trapped blimp into the Kodak Theatre, the crown jewel of the Hollywood & Highland entertainment complex on live TV.

Tom Cruise plays a scientologist/action star who accidently stumbles onto the plot, but will he be in time to stop the Awards Ceremony before there is blood on the red carpet? Well, not if the fool keeps jumping on talk show sofas, and attacking women with post-partum depression for taking antidepressant medications.

And if Tom Terrific does stop the plot, will he ruin his professional chances of ever working with Ang Lee as a director?

The clock is ticking....

[TOoP/Bruce]

by - bjblakeslee (Thu May 11 2006 06:38:19 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 

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"The Stallion Job" (The Italian Job)

Plot Synopsis:

Ennis, Jack, and a crack team of disgruntled former employees of Joe Aguirre, plan to heist 1 million dollars in gold from a bank in Denver using specially bred Shetland ponies for high manoeuverability and a super fast getaway. They hack into a computer system controlling the traffic lights of Denver. They change all lights to green thus tying up traffic to better implement their escape.

 Shoot as fast as lightnin' but it loads a mite slow... 

[TOoP/Bruce]

by - bjblakeslee 4 days ago (Wed May 17 2006 11:54:12 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 

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"Crow Cowboy: Jack Nasty Rises Again"

Plot Synopsis:

From the crypt of this deserted tomb rises the one man, the one avenger, the one diabolical mastermind who can create bone chilling terror, blood curdling horror.

One year after the murder of Ennis Delmar, the spirit of a crow escorts Jack back from the dead to revenge Ennis's murder on "Devil's Right Hand Night", a local night of senseless heterosexual violence, inebriation, and wanton distruction (sometimes referred to as "Prom Night").

Jack returns to life with superpowers, and systematically proceeds to extract his vengeance for death of Ennis at the hands of GOP Dollarz, a powerful crime-boss and member of the Senate who lives in Riverton, Wyoming.

[TOoP/Bruce]

by - bjblakeslee (Mon May 8 2006 14:23:37 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 

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"The Two Jacks" (Dead Ringer)

Plot Synopsis:

Jake and Jack are identical twins. Fifteen years ago, Jake met Lureen and began a relationship. Jack stole Lureen from him and Jack and Lureen married, had a child, and they became financially successful. Jake never forgave the two of them. Jake and Jack rarely ever see or mention each other again.

Now, Jake is down on his luck and about to lose his little cow and calf operation. During an argument with his brother who has come looking for a handout, Jack apologizes for stealing away Jake's woman, but he tells Jake that they had to get married because Lureen was pregnant. Jack doesn't tell Jake that the father of the baby was actually Lureen's own dad.

Jake kills Jack and hides the body. Being identical twins, Jake assumes Jack's identity. Easier said than done. Jack's lover on the side, Ennis, eventually learns of Jake's ruse. Ennis continues to see Jake for fishing trips, and Jake seems to share his brother's tastes because he continues his relationship with Ennis. When Ennis eventually finds out about the deception, Jake tries to blackmail Ennis into giving him money or he will tell Alma the truth about their fishing trips. During a heated argument, Ennis forces Jake to admit the truth and reveal where Jack is buried. Ennis and Jake fight, Jake gets attacked and killed by Jack's dog.

Ennis tries to make it look like a tire-iron murder to divert suspicion to Lureen who it turns out was in on the plot because she always loved Jake more than Jack.

Ennis recovers Jack's remains and secretly re-inters them at their old campsite on Brokeback Mountain.

[TOoP/Bruce]

by - bjblakeslee (Tue May 9 2006 04:45:02 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Tue May 9 2006 04:46:37 

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"The Terrible Two-Headed Cowboy Transplant"

Plot Synopsis:

They say that a cowboy with two heads is better than one.

A mad scientist kidnaps Jack and Ennis and grafts Jack's head onto Ennis's body backwards. On the plus side, this has the advantage of always being aware of who is coming on going, and being better able to keep watch over sheep. The down side? Having two heads means that it is difficult to wear Stetson Resistols without one constantly knocking the other off.

The Ennis/Jack creature kills its creator with a nearby tire-iron and escapes the secret laboratory and tries to reconcile with both Alma and Lureen. Alma seems to be willing to go along with the new arrangement, but Lureen is consumed with concern for what the neighbors might think...

[TOoP/Bruce]

by - bjblakeslee (Mon May 8 2006 11:11:53 ) 

"Being Jake Gyllenhaal"

Plot Synopsis:

In an office building on floor 7-1/2, there is a room with a portal hidden behind a file cabinet.
Through the portal, one falls inside the the brain of actor Jake Gyllenhaal for 15 minutes.

Soon, a mysterious puppeteer and his girlfriend are selling tickets to people who want to take a ride in Jake Gyllenhaal's head. Even Heath Ledger takes a ride in Jake's head as Jake plays Jack with Heath playing Ennis, which means that Ennis (played by Heath) is really making out with himself.

We are all puppets in life. Everyone is manipulated in this film, and we all take turns being puppets and puppeteers. Such is the life in the spotlights in this crazy-cool world of celebrity.

 Shoot as fast as lightnin' but it loads a mite slow... 

[TOoP/Bruce]

by - bjblakeslee (Mon May 8 2006 05:01:07 )   
 

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"Ewe without a face" (Les Yeux sans visage)

Plot Synopsis"

Joe Aguirre loses his favorite sheep Christie in a drowning accident. He fakes a burial.

Meanwhile, back at the veterinary clinic, Christie the sheep is very much alive, wandering about the farm and wearing a mysterious blank-faced mask. The mirrors have been covered to prevent her from seeing herself. She's is definitely an ewe on the edge. 

Aguirre's assistant Alma spends an enormous amount of time looking for sheep with similar facial construction and wool texture to Christie's. Alma has a scar on her neck. Has Dr. Aguirre changed her face as well? Maybe as a practice sessi

Aguirre enjoys surgical trans-species heterografts, hey we all have to have a hobby... But, if you can't stand it, you gotta fix it.

[TOoP/Bruce]

by - bjblakeslee (Mon May 8 2006 08:28:37 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Mon May 8 2006 14:27:42 

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"Godzilla vs. Homophobotron"

Plot Synopsis:

The forests around Signal are dying because an ancient seal is broken by foresters. They are also making life difficult for gay people in the area. An evil faerie named Aguirre goads the proceedings on and summons up a monster named Homophobotron to wreak havoc on the Earth. Two miniature forest spirits called EnniJak, open the lid of the egg they share and sing a song ("Water Walking Mothra) that calls up a rainbow-colored monster to protect the Earth.

The EnniJak also call upon the healing power of Rainbow Mothra to bring pride back to the Mountain and undo the environmental damage done to the Earth by Aguirre's monster.

No one asks or tells the American military to get involved, and the battles happen mostly in the forests near Brokeback Mountain and far away from any cities. Things begin to look bad for Rainbow Mothra. Both EnniJak decide the battle needs reinforcements. The Enjak fetch Godzilla, who soon puts things right... using a double flying kick to put Homophobotron out of commission. Now Rainbow Mothra can finish the job of healing the Earth, and making the forests safe for gay people again.

[TOoP/Bruce]

by - bjblakeslee (Wed May 3 2006 13:36:04 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Mon May 8 2006 07:12:09 

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"The Het Net"(The Net)

Plot Synopsis:

"Your bank cards, your identity, your sexual orientation, DELETED."

Jack Twist is a computer geek who telecommutes from home and spends most of his free time on IMDB forums. He occasionally works the farm for his parents in Lightning Flats, but has no real life to speak of. Joe Aguirre send him a weird program to de-bug and then Joe dies mysteriously.

Jack discovers a file folder marked "Super secret information, VERY INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE" on the disk he receives just before he takes off for a short vacation to Mexico.

Jack finds that his credit records are erased and someone has substituted a different identity. Jack finds that much to his horror, he is now straight, asian, and republican with a pending indictment for manufacturing Iraqi evidence of weapons of mass destruction at the request of the White House.

Jack struggles valiantly to find out why this has happened to him.

 Shoot as fast as lightnin' but it loads a mite slow... 

[TOoP/Bruce]

 by - bjblakeslee (Thu May 4 2006 04:29:21 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Tue May 9 2006 13:50:59 

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"The Jackson Hole Horror"(The Dunwich Horror/Die Monster Die)

Plot Synopsis:


Based on a story by H.P. Lovecraft, John Twist comes under the supernatural influence of a radioactive meteorite. He summons a man named Randall to become his mindless, obedient slave.

Jack Twist and Ennis Delmar visit the library at the infamous Laramie County Community College Library (ostensibly to look for a book about how to castrate a calf, but really to look at a copy of "The Advocate"), they discover a young man Randall who wishes to check out a book of the undead - The Necronomicon.
This unholy ancient tome contains incantations for summoning demons from the underworld. ( Jack tells Ennis that he thinks he knows the guy from somewhere, but isn't exactly forthcoming about how and where.}

John Twist wants to use the Necronomicon to open the gateways of Hell and unleash a demon (Yog Sothoth) in this dimension, and a human sacrifice of his son Jack must be offered to appease the guardians of the Portal of the Damned.

Can Ennis save Jack in time before he is sacrificed in a ritual at Jackson Hole?