"Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....

[TOoP/Bruce]

by - bjblakeslee (Thu May 4 2006 06:37:04 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Tue May 9 2006 06:58:14 

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"A Runaway Cowboy's Tale" (Runaway Bride)

Plot Synopsis:

Ennis Delmar, a Houston columnist, is a writer with a procrastination problem. Just in time is usually just good enough.

He hears tell of a story about Jack Twist, a gay man who alway runs away from gay marriage commitment ceremonies at the last minute. He writes a homophobic and snotty little article about Jack.

Ennis gets fired by his publisher Alma, because she has always wanted a reason to get her ex-husband off the payroll. Ennis decides to write a real article for "The Advocate" magazine on Jack's upcoming fourth gay wedding attempt to a divorced man named Randall - a marriage which Ennis predicts will also be an utter fiasco of biblical proportions.

Ennis insinuates himself into small town gay life in Childress, waiting for Jack to bail on the next big profile "gay wedding."

Eventually, the wedding is called off, because Randall suspects that Jack and Ennis have fallen for each other, after he sees them kissing. "It's nobody's business but ours," Jack tells Ennis.

Ennis and Jack wisely decide to honeymoon in Mexico before they get married, to help take some of the pressure off Jack.

 Shoot as fast as lightnin' but it loads a mite slow... 

[TOoP/Bruce]

by - bjblakeslee (Thu May 4 2006 07:35:20 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Mon May 8 2006 07:11:06 

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"House and Horse Sitter"(Housesitter)

Plot Synopsis:

Ennis buys new trailer, presents it to Cassie, and proposes marriage. Cassie tells Ennis that although dating a repressed guy is kind of fun, she doesn't really want to marry a gay with no sexual history.

Ennis go off to work at another ranch and is kind of depressed, and even a whole afternoon spent castrating calves doesn't do much to cheer him up.

Ennis runs into Jack at a local bar, Jack can talk faster than Ennis can think. They spend the night together, and Ennis slips away while Jack is sleeping.

Jack needs a place to stay. He finds the trailer Ennis bought and moves in. They other people in the trailer park get curious and start introducing themselves and asking questions. Jack invents an entire exotic history of how he and Ennis met. Jack borrows a horse to use for transportation, and charges it to Ennis.

Everybody thinks Jack is the most fantastic thing that could happen for Ennis! Ennis's brother and his wife meet Jack. They have been worrying about Ennis and are glad he has finally found someone to settle down with, and it turns out that suspected he was gay all along, and just never brought it up because they figured Ennis was uncomfortable talking about it. They think Ennis and Jack have great chemistry and want to have a big coming out party for Ennis.

Eventually, word gets back to Ennis that the entire trailer park thinks he has settled down with Jack, They are all very happy for this formerly repressed man, who seems to finally be coming out of his shell. Ennis sees that maybe this can be used to make Cassie jealous, and agrees to let Jack stay while Ennis pursues Cassie.

No one in the park wants them to separate, and they keep conspiring to keep them together, until Jack actually leaves, and Ennis is forced to invent a future with Jack.

[TOoP/Bruce]

by - bjblakeslee (Thu May 4 2006 10:56:59 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Mon May 8 2006 05:16:57 

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"The Gaytrix: Reloader-Busters"

Plot Synopsis:

Now we see that everything in the first movie was a program simulation as part of an enslavement campaign - a campaign to use gay humans as batteries in an alien computer system.

Jack Neosty, Ennis Delmorpheus, and the remaining crew of gay resistance fighters battle heterocombot sentinels of the heteromachine army that have enslaved the gay human race in the Gaytrix. Neosty begins to have visions of Delmorpheus plunging to his death.

With continued training, Neosty begins to understand how to nuance his superhomoid powers, such as the ability to read the sexual orientation codes people around him and scan the data codes of everyday objects.

People are waking from the Brokeback Gaytrix and attempting to live in the real world. In the city of Signal of Zion, thousands of heterocombot sentinels dig towards Signal of Zion to eradicate the gay human race.

The Oracle tells Neosty to find the keymaker and fit into the keyhole and to get to tickling those tumblers. If Neosty fails, gay mankind is doomed to taken over by the heteromachine army. The battle moves to SIgnal of Zion - the last remaining real gay city. Agent Aguirre Smith returns, to infect the all-seeing computer and destroy Jack Neosty. A battle wages with several permutations of Agent Aguirre Smith, who appears in an incarnation of a giant BetterMost Marshmellow Man.

Neosty, Delmorpheus and the other ghostbuster rebels must win a fierce battle to take the key to the source lock and uncover the code that reveals things Neosty would rather he hadn't known.

[TOoP/Bruce]

Re: Ideas for a sequel?   
  by GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40   2 days ago (Tue Jan 27 2009 14:21:39)   
   

UPDATED Wed Jan 28 2009 06:23:50

Here's my idea for a prequel. I'm afraid it isn't very good. (Neither is the movie I've ripped it off from):

Brokeback Daddy Dearest

Mr. Delmar: What's wire hangers doing in this closet? Answer me. I buy you beautiful dungarees and yellow plaid shirts, and you treat them like they were some dishrag. You do. Three dollar dungarees on a wire hanger. We'll see how many you've got if they're hidden somewhere. We'll see... we'll see. Get out of that bed. All of this is coming out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. You've got any more? We're gonna see how many wire hangers you've got in your closet. Wire hangers, why? Why? Ennis, get out of that bed. Get out of that bed. You live in the most beautiful shack in Riverton and you don't care if your clothes are stretched out from wire hangers. And your room looks like some two-dollar-a-month furnished room in some two-bit back street town in Mexico. Get up! Get up! Clean up this mess!
Ennis: I'm coming, Daddy.

=======

Mr. Delmar: Why can't you give me the RESPECT that I'm EnTITLED to? Why can't you treat me like I would be treated by any STRANGER ON THE STREET?
Ennis: Because I am NOT one of your rodeo fans.

=======

Mr. Delmar: Did you scrub the COW TRENCH today? DID YOU?
Ennis: Yes, Daddy.
Mr. Delmar: Yes, Daddy what?
Ennis: Yes, Daddy Dearest.
Mr. Delmar: When I told you to call me that, I wanted you to MEAN it.

=======

Mr. Delmar: [muttering to himself, hacking down the rose garden] Rodeo royalty! Parted friends... everyone already knows! Rodeo poison! Rodeo poison! Class! You're... class... you're... class... rodeo poison! Eighteen years in the business and we parted friends! Creative differences!
Mr. Delmar: Go on... get the wheelbarrow and the rake!
[suddenly noticing the wheelbarrow has a flat]
Mr. Delamr: Ennis! Bring me the tireiron!

Re: Ideas for a sequel?   
  by GuyMadison   2 days ago (Tue Jan 27 2009 15:03:22)   
   
UPDATED Tue Jan 27 2009 15:04:20

Gotta disagree George...

...it was a GREAT movie!!!

And, the Brokeback Dearest connections are unavoidable.


Personally, I might have done:

Jack: Why can’t you give me the respect that I’m entitled to? Why can’t you treat me like I would be treated by any stranger on the street?
Aguirre: Because I am NOT a fan of stemmin’ the rose!


Also, this one actually could have played out in the short story between Jack and his father:

OMT: Did you scrub the toilet today? DID YOU?
Jack: Yes, Daddy.
OMT: Yes, Daddy what?
Jack: Yes, Daddy F-in’ Dearest.


And, to add one of my own:

Jack: There’s a liquor store to the right.
Ennis: I should’ve known you’d know where to find the boys and the booze.


Re: Ideas for a sequel?   
  by littlewing1957   2 days ago (Tue Jan 27 2009 16:14:52)   

Jack: There’s a liquor store to the right.
Ennis: I should’ve known you’d know where to find the boys and the booze.

Loving it! 



Everybody should be working on an afghan - Juliet Mills


Re: Ideas for a sequel?   
  by GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40   2 days ago (Wed Jan 28 2009 04:20:54)   
   

UPDATED Wed Jan 28 2009 04:59:02
More newly discovered scenes from the unproduced prequel "Brokeback Daddy Dearest"

[Ennis has been discovered making out with a boy in a stable]

Mr. Delmar: How? How could this happen, how could you humiliate me this way? I am ashamed to be your father! How could you let this happen?

Principal of the Riverton Middle School: Both students have been put on probation and will have no privileges for a month.

Joan Crawford: Probation. This is appalling. I have devoted myself to making Ennis a proper young rancher. That other cowboy should be EXPELLED.

Principal of the school: Now, Mr. Delmar. When this sort of thing has happened before, we've...

Mr. Delmar: BEFORE? Is this an institution of learning or a Mexican brothel?

Principal: I think you're overACTing, Mr Delmar.

Mr. Delmar: And I think you're UNDERacting, Mr. FancyPants.

============

Mr. Delmar[wiping a bloody tireiron after returning from Old Earl's murder]: I'm not mad at you, Ennis. I'm mad at the blood.


Re: Ideas for a sequel?   
  by GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40   2 days ago (Wed Jan 28 2009 04:35:46)   
   

UPDATED Wed Jan 28 2009 04:43:45
(GREAT!!! for sooo many of the WRONG reasons!)


Mr. Delmar: Ennis! Let's tear down that BITCH of a BEARING WALL, and put a BARN DOOR where it OUGHT TO BE!!
Ennis: Oh, Jesus ****ing Christ!

[Penthesilea]

by - bjblakeslee 3 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 08:29:59 )   

"Brokebackdraft"

Plot Synopsis:

As a child Ennis Delmar watched his firefighter father die. Years later he joins his old sheep herding buddy Jack who also becomes a shepherd firefighter. Things get really hot as they as they practice handling hoses, and shower with the Baldwin brothers.

Several suspicious fires involving the spontaneous combustion of sheep occur, each one designed to murder someone and burn all the evidence.

Ennis finagles an office job and finds that instead of putting out fires, he is now in charge of setting them.

They shower with the Baldwin brothers!!!!

Thanks for bumping this one, Bruce! 
I had completely missed this thread so far.