What do you think makes this movie so romantic?

[serious crayons]

One thing I've always wondered about Brokeback is, what makes it such a powerful romance? Why do I find it roughly a million times more romantic than any other movie love story I can remember seeing? I mean, sure, we're all obsessed. Still, it seems odd that out of all of cinematic history I am unable to think of even one film couple that I cared about half as much as I do Jack and Ennis. So what makes their relationship so moving?

A few possible reasons come to mind. Probably no single one fully explains it, but maybe a bunch of them put together do. So I thought I'd see what you guys have to add.

So I'll start:

I was discussing Brokeback with a friend, who liked it but only in a mildly appreciative way. One of her criticisms was that she wished you could see more sparks between them prior to TS1. Of course, as all of us here know, you can. The subtlety of those sparks caused my friend to overlook them -- I barely picked up on them myself the first time I saw it -- but it's the subtlety that makes them so touching.

I started thinking about how in most movies, the sparks are generated by some wildly improbable experience the couple goes through. She is being chased by gangsters, and he has to help her hide. Or they each think the apartment they live in is theirs, but that's because one of them is actually a ghost. Even more everday scenarios are still pretty out there: they go on a date together and everything goes absurdly wrong, or they hate each other until one of them goes through a bad experience and the other one is sympathetic ... or whatever.

But we watch Jack and Ennis fall in love exactly the way people in real life fall in love. There's the initial physical attraction. The friendship develops. They admire qualities in each other. They sneak glances when the other isn't looking. They find opportunities to touch. They do nice things for each other. They flirt. They start to genuinely care about each other.

Nothing absurd or unusual. Plus, they do all this while also trying NOT to show that it's happening. The realism and subtlety draw us in. We remember what those feelings are like, and can feel ourselves falling in love, too.

What else?

[Aussie Chris]

Great question Katherine.  Ok here's one from me (it's the obvious one I'm afraid): Jack and Ennis really only have each other.  Like the Montague and Capulet families of Romeo & Juliet, the world is against them.  We identify with them because we see our own romantic lives as a struggle of fate against reality.

[Jeff Wrangler]

Just one reason, but an important one: It's a tragedy. They don't live happily ever after, or ride off into the sunset just before the credits role. All the great love stories in Western culture are ultimately tragedies.

[ednbarby]

I agree with all these observations.  And Katherine, I can't tell you how much it gets on my last nerve when people see it for the first time and dismiss it largely based on that "no sparks" observation.  Dumbass mules.  I can understand where it's hard to see them for some people in their first viewing, I guess.  But I never had a doubt.  And you're right - I think it's because our culture is conditioned to only "believe" love stories when they're actually highly contrived.  Bugs the bejesus out of me.  Reminds me of some lines from one of my favorite band's songs, which has become eerily Jack-like to me in recent times:

I'm the son of rage and love,
The Jesus of Suburbia
The Bible of Therapy and Love -
on a steady diet of.

And there's nothing wrong with me,
This is how I'm s'posed to be.
In a land of make-believe,
They don't believe in me.

But I digress.  I've always loved the stories like "Jane Eyre" and "Emma," or "Sense and Sensibility" where two people who are best friends outwardly are inwardly very much in love with one another but don't recognize it consciously until it's almost too late.  In Brokeback's case, it is absolutely too late when Ennis finally recognizes it and gives it its proper name in his mind.  That's the tragedy (among others, since nothing about it is black and white).

[serious crayons]

Green Day channeling Jack Twist! There's a new concept, Barb. (How about "Time of Your Life"?)

OK, here's another one: For me, perhaps THE most romantic aspects is the internal struggle Ennis goes through. A great romance often requires one or both lovers to overcome some daunting challenge on behalf of the other. That's exactly what Ennis does -- despite a lifetime of associating homosexuality with fear and violence and shame, he loves Jack SO MUCH that he sets all those prejudices aside in order to be with him. Not as far aside as we'd like, of course. But for him, it's huge. And it's worth noting that he never allows his negative feelings to diminish his obvious joy and passion when he is with Jack.

And for Jack, of course, the daunting challenge is the 20-year wait. And again, the fact that he's able to hang in there so long tell us how much he loves Ennis and how important that love is.

[Brown Eyes]

OK, here's another one: For me, perhaps THE most romantic aspects is the internal struggle Ennis goes through. A great romance often requires one or both lovers to overcome some daunting challenge on behalf of the other. That's exactly what Ennis does -- despite a lifetime of associating homosexuality with fear and violence and shame, he loves Jack SO MUCH that he sets all those prejudices aside in order to be with him. Not as far aside as we'd like, of course. But for him, it's huge. And it's worth noting that he never allows his negative feelings to diminish his obvious joy and passion when he is with Jack.

Absolutely!  I think that nails Ennis's situation perfectly.  He gives Jack every little bit that he thinks he's capable of giving.  Once Jack is dead, of course, he realizes just how much more he could have given.  But still, that romance is what makes his life meaningful and exciting (aside from his kids).

I think the "true romance" or "love of one's life" romance from both sides (Jack and Ennis) is solid from very, very early on on Brokeback (maybe from the moment that Ennis clings to Jack's head in the first tent scene).  I felt that the tragedy and tension comes not from worrying whether they're in love but from the external tensions and external homophobia (and the internalization of that homophobia in Ennis's mind) that constrain them.

As to people who don't see the initial attraction in the beginning of the film... I think people are just simply not used to seeing two men flirting.  Especially given the exquisite subtlty of Lee's depiction of this.  People tend to immediately see two men looking at each other as a sign of competition, rivalry, etc., etc.  But, it becomes a leap or a total change of perspective for many people to see those gazes as longing and attraction.  This same thing would be true in the depiction of two women falling in love too.

[ednbarby]

Actually, I find Green Day to be channeling Jack in pretty much all their songs.  Especially on "American Idiot" (where the idiot, for the unitiated, is everyone who sits in judgment of others).

Check this out from St. Jimmy:

I'm the patron saint of their denial
With an angel's face and a taste for the suicidal

Or this from Novacaine:

Take away the sensation inside
This bittersweet migraine in my head
It's like a throbbing toothache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore.
Drain the pressure from the swelling
This sensation's overwhelming.
Give me your kiss good night
And everything will be all right
Tell me that I won't feel a thing -
Give me novacaine.

Or this from Jesus of Suburbia:

And I leave behind
This hurricane of f***ing lies
And I've walked this line
A million and one f***ing times,
but not this time.

And this from She's a Rebel:

She's a rebel, she's a saint
She's the salt of the earth
And she's dangerous
She's a symbol of resistance
And she's holding on my heart like a hand grenade.
She sings The Revolution - the dawning of our lives
She brings this liberation that I just can't define,
Well, nothing comes to mind.

Have I mentioned that I love this band?

[RingerFanatic]

I think a large part of why this is The Ultimate Romance movie for me is Jack Twist as portrayed by Jake Gyllenhaal. His expressions of love and longing...and at the end, bitter disappointment and sadness is sometimes just too much to bear. It's pure, sweet and completely heartbreaking. Jake really brought to life a character of such innocent and romantic longing that it made me want to love like that (or at least find someone like that to love me!)

And the other half, Ennis Del Mar as portrayed by Heath Ledger, also adds to the romantic heartbreak by showing us a man who is capable of happiness and pure love in private....but not in public. Like the other posters here mentioned, this is about two regular everyday people who (IMHO) realistically fell in love. No effects. No overbearing John Williams soundtrack. No overacting emoting. Just plain fellas falling in love. A love that dares not speak its name. Now that's romantic tragedy at its best.

[SFEnnisSF]

#1:  They start out as friends, and go through and experience something together (hearding the sheep).  The world (and their work) brings them together. 

I really don't think it was all lust and flirting in the beginning.  I don't think they knew how to do that, honestly.  But the signs of a growing friendship were definitely there.

#2:  They are torn apart from eachother (for many reasons), and then we see the reunion, and our hopes and warm feelings and passions are hightened by this.

#3:  But then, their love is really never fully obtained.  This is the most gut-wrenching part as to why this movie lingers.  We only see the hopes and dreams of it.

[ednbarby]

As to people who don't see the initial attraction in the beginning of the film... I think people are just simply not used to seeing two men flirting.  Especially given the exquisite subtlty of Lee's depiction of this.  People tend to immediately see two men looking at each other as a sign of competition, rivalry, etc., etc.  But, it becomes a leap or a total change of perspective for many people to see those gazes as longing and attraction.  This same thing would be true in the depiction of two women falling in love too.

Exactly!  Beautifully-stated, Amanda.  I hope you don't mind if I use this argument the next time one of my boneheaded ex-friends tries that lame-ass argument on me.