Merci, Isabelle, Clarissa, Kelda and Shasta.
It's weird. I actually don't have a particularly hot temper, I don't think, but the kids really bring it out in me. And then I always wonder, when strangers see the kids acting up and me yelling at them, if they think, "Well, no wonder they misbehave, with a horrible mom like that!" when actually, in my mind, it's the reverse. People assume parents should mold their kids' behavior, but really don't give much thought to the idea that it can also work the other way around.
My kdis are not particularly well-behaved at school. I've had calls from just about every teacher my older son (the harder one) has ever had. The teachers are perplexed, because he is gifted and gets perfect grades and incredible test scores but disobeys instructions and constantly disrupts the classroom. Luckily, as he gets older I've heard less blame in their voices. With younger children, there is the assumption that misbehavior is a sign of faulty parenting. (Good school work, on the other hand, is never a sign of good parenting -- the blame/credit thing only follows certain channels).
I do send him to his room -- compared to his easier younger brother, he has probably spent literally close to 100 times the hours in time outs -- even though that in itself is a very stressful thing. He refuses to go. When he was younger I could pick him up and carry him, kicking and screaming and grabbing doorframes, and often had to stand there holding his door closed with all of my strength while he threw himself against it like a rabid wolverine. He would build what would otherwise be a 10-minute time out for a minor infraction into an all-night affair that disrupted the entire family ...
Well, anyway, time outs have been harder to enforce now that he's too big to pick up and carry. Luckily, as he has gotten older and more rational he's easier to deal with. He has always felt that he was right about everything. When he was four, him being right meant running out in front of cars in the Target parking lot. Now that he's 12, his idea of right is slightly more reasonable. But there's still a long ways to go ...
Anyway, the qualities my kids have that drive me crazy are qualities that will serve them well once they become adults. Stubborness, high energy, confidence, singlemindedness, strength of will, refusal to be intimidated by ANYONE. On top of intelligence and creativity, they should do well. And when they win their nomination or award or election or whatever, no one in the audience will be clapping harder than me (or sighing a bigger sigh of relief).
OK, sorry for blabbing on. Back to other people's jobs.
