I think I grieve backwards.
Last week, Tuesday and Wednesday, I was in shock. Then Thursday morning, I had my visit with Heath and I was just happy and relieved because I knew in my heart that he was okay. That feeling lasted a few days and yesterday (Sunday) I was actually starting to feel normal again and think about the week and things I needed to do and so on. Then last night--I had a lousy night, tossing and turning--my head was filled with images and thoughts and I feel like I haven't slept at all. So now I am edgy and depressed, and feel like I have been wrung out. I just watched Daniel Day-Lewis's acceptance speech at the SAG awards and that has me sobbing my heart out.
It reminds me so much of the early days of BBM fever....
Thanks for listening.
L
Leslie, my griveing friend,
(((Leslie)))
I'm so here with you. The SAG awards and DDL' speech reduced me also to tears again.
I posted something similar on the SAG thread, how much it reminds me of the times two years ago ...
This morning, when getting up while still half asleep, I thought I'd go and look what's new on on BM when Hannah has left for school. A split-second later I reaslized what's up on BM, and the thought of what had happened really hit me again.
It's still up and down. We just have to stand it, there's no way of fixing