Question.. Gay v Lesbian - is one more 'socially acceptable' than the other?

[Lumière]

My feeling on this issue is that lesbians are much more accepted in society than gay men as they are non-threatening to the heterosexual male and not that unlike heterosexual women in many of their relationship pursuits and nurturing habits. 
rt

Agreed!
Most heterosexual men are not threatened by lesbians because when they see 2 women together, they can easily tune into their "threesome" fantasies.  I think in most cases, it is as simple as that.  Mind you, I am not saying that this applies to all straight guys.

Also, I notice that generally-speaking, straight women are more 'accepting' of lesbians than straight guys are of gay men.

[rtprod]

I imagine that "Grace" sees her "Will" for all that he is. Though I don't know. I have met plenty of "fag hags" who refuse to see Will's sexuality. I don't object to the Grace/Will dynamic, but rather I'm frustrated that the media limits them to caricatures. I don't know if it's the fault of mainstream America not wanting to accept gay men as fully human or if Hollywood think that's the case. I'll tell ya, better baby steps than no steps at all. I'm glad "Will" is there at all.

I don't understand why the public has turned so vehemently against Will & Grace.  It seems in so many gay corners, the show has been cheaply discarded.  I no longer tune in but when it began, it was fresh and funny, and groundbreaking in its way.  There's no way to take away from Sean and Megan here, they are just too talented.  I know that Sean's character is what it is and the stereotype is there, but it is also a very funny and original take on that stereotype, and he is a gifted comedian.

Could it be that we just became blase on the show and it is not the show that has gone down?

rt

[delalluvia]

Straight men only find real lesbians titillating when they'are attractive.  If the women are not, then they turn up their noses and get the 'yucks' pretty quick.

[JennyC]

Agreed!
Most heterosexual men are not threatened by lesbians because when they see 2 women together, they can easily tune into their "threesome" fantasies.  I think in most cases, it is as simple as that.  Mind you, I am not saying that this applies to all straight guys.

Also, I notice that generally-speaking, straight women are more 'accepting' of lesbians than straight guys are of gay men.

I agree.  Most female friends I know (unless they are serious religious) don't have a problem with either gay or lesbian relationship.  We just see more gay couples around than lesbian couples (come to think of it, I really don't know any lesbian couple).  In general, straight women feel less threatened on their heterosexuality by lesbian women than by other straight women.  However, a lot of straight men tend to feel that their heterosexuality is threatened by homosexuality of gay men.  Like it or not, the world we are in today is still dominated more by male than female.  It’s my perception that lesbian is more 'socially acceptable' than gay.

There is an interesting article on CNN regarding how Lesbians' brains respond like straight men, and gay men’s brains respond like heterosexual women.  Don’t know if the people here agree to it or not.
http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/05/08/lesbian.brains.ap/index.html

[starboardlight]

I don't understand why the public has turned so vehemently against Will & Grace.  It seems in so many gay corners, the show has been cheaply discarded.  I no longer tune in but when it began, it was fresh and funny, and groundbreaking in its way.  There's no way to take away from Sean and Megan here, they are just too talented.  I know that Sean's character is what it is and the stereotype is there, but it is also a very funny and original take on that stereotype, and he is a gifted comedian.

Could it be that we just became blase on the show and it is not the show that has gone down?

rt

I agree the show started out strong. I think the thing is that the show at its beginning was so promising as far as what's to come. but it never delivered on that. And Sean's character may have been a fresh take on the stereotype, but it never went any where. For how ever many years it's been, he's been the same Jack. That's why you don't tune in any more, and that's why the rest of us are jaded about the show. It never evolved from what it was in its first season.

[TJ]

"It shows sexual orientation may very well have a different basis between men and women ... this is not just a mirror image situation"

The above was in the CNN article. I tend to agree with that statement, too.

Women do seem experience physiological sexual attractions differently than men do. I did a little non-scientific survey on that several years ago and the men and women's responses were not the same. But, the gay and straight men felt the attraction in the same location inside their bodies, near the prostate, and the women's feelings, both sexual orientations, were much higher inside themselves.

[kirkmusic]

I've never liked Will and Grace.  Just never laughed much watching it.

Re: militant lesbians.  They are but one of many true to life stereotypes in the gay community that are fun to talk about when we're looking at ourselves lightheartedly and laughing at some of our proclivities.  I once read a whole page of gay "lightbulb" jokes in a gay magazine, the most detailed of which was "How many militant lesbian feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"  The answer was 11 but I can only remember the last 6: "... 3 to argue against the image of 'screwing' in the lightbulb, 2 to refute that argument, and 1 to make brownies."

[Kelda]

We just see more gay couples around than lesbian couples (come to think of it, I really don't know any lesbian couple).  http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/05/08/lesbian.brains.ap/index.html

This could well be the case why I'm thinking a male couple is more 'socially acceptable'... I myself know only one lesbian couple.. but many more male-male couples..

Everyones comments are really interesting btw.. Partic those made by rt, partic about the city he lives in (I wont ask where - I don't want to our resident clark kent haveing to give anything away) thats scary.

My feeling on this issue is that lesbians are much more accepted in society than gay men as they are non-threatening to the heterosexual male and not that unlike heterosexual women in many of their relationship pursuits and nurturing habits.  When was the last time you saw a lesbian gay bashed? 

In the city where I reside, I see female couples holding hands everywhere, and no one bats an eye.  If you are a gay male couple, try doing that outside of a certain gay mecca neighborhood and see the eyebrows--and other things--that will be raised.  There's something about what gay men "do" that doesn't sit right with society.  Lesbian proclivities are less threatening and don't seem as transgressive in the eyes of most.   

[jura86]

I've always thought lesbians were far more 'socially acceptable' than gay men, for the reasons that people have mentioned (but mainly I think because most of straight society are completely disgusted by anal sex basically, whereas gay female sex doesn't offend as many people) - this is my interpretation anyway, although that might just be because of the people I have come into contact with, and specifically my friends and family's feelings on the subject. However, maybe one way to work out which is the more socially acceptable is to view society's reactions to certain things e.g.

1999: Queer as Folk is shown on British terrestrial TV with fairly explicit gay sex - from what I can remember, this caused quite an uproar in the media, and their were reports of complaints etc
2002: Tipping the Velvet shown on British terrestrial TV with lesbian sex scenes this time - again, from what I remember, there was a lot of media attention surrounding this show, but more of a nudge-nudge wink-wink attitude - with the media mostly describing it as a "titillating romp" than as something offensive. This is hardly a desireable situation - lesbians wouldn't want TV to eploit them just to excite straight men, but again there was less of an angry reaction.
Then again they were spaced three years apart, so who knows how much that will have affected reactions. It is sad that in 2004, a number of Brit tabloid headlines read "Sick Sex Shown on TV" for a single, brief gay-male kiss on a pre-watershed soap. I mean, for God's sake!! Society is hardly going to crumble! But then I hate pretty much every tabloid headline... if I had my way, they would all be gone!!

[Kelda]

is this Corrie? and the Todd and Nick kiss?

My god, i didn't see that headline.. thats pretty disgusting. where was that?

It is sad that in 2004, a number of Brit tabloid headlines read "Sick Sex Shown on TV" for a single, brief gay-male kiss on a pre-watershed soap. I mean, for God's sake!! Society is hardly going to crumble!