My sister was recently dumped by her young lover. I listened to her grief with sympathy, though I had my doubts about what kind of
relationship it really was (my sister's self-esteem is rock bottom and she will consider some guy she gave a blowjob to after a night on the town as the beginning of a 'relationship'). At some point she wailed,
"Well, do you just give up?"
That woke me up because I realized it was not a rhetorical question. Though I had forgotten and not thought much of it, she was well aware I have not dated nor even had sex with anyone in over 4 years now.
I told her that we were just two different people. She had been married and now had a child so relationships with men were very important to her, while I have been for the most part single all my life, and relationships with men were just something that kinda came and went.
The longer I stay alone, the longer I like to stay alone and after much thought, have decided that men are just too expensive. I'm a feminist of the old school and believe in equal dating. He treats me, I treat him and believe me, he gets the better end of the deal because men eat a great deal. My restaurant meals consist of an entree and some ice tea. My last few exes idea of dinner was wine, an appetizer, a salad, an entree and dessert!
Even eating at home was expensive. My idea of an at-home meal left them hungry, so much larger portions and/or snacks were the order of the day.
I was going broke fast dating them.
So now, as I'm trying to figure out how to afford a house/condo/mobile home of my own, men are just not in the equation anymore. They've turned out to be a luxury I can't afford.
I don't feel bad about it though. Not like some women. I've had chances to marry or be with someone on a permanent basis. 3 men were dead serious about it and would have married me in a second had I wanted to marry them. So, it's not like I never had a choice or the opportunity.
My mother is sad about it. She's not doing well healthwise and may not be around much longer. She told me that she would have liked to have seen me and my sister settled down and happy with families of our own before she left. Instead she has a pair of daughters, one divorced and the other uninterested in white picket fences, that she will likely go to her grave worried about.
She had hoped I'd meet some nice decent guy.
I told her if she knew where they were she should tell me.
Now, as for:
Story 2:
I received an email from a longtime friend today - someone I email regularly, though not frequently. I announced my recent break-up as news in my reply. I hope my friend is happy for me, and not sad, and not feeling sorry for me...
When I e-mailed my firiends about being dumped last time, I found out who my friends were. Those I called my friends instantly sided with me, sight unseen, because they knew, in any relationship, I would not have earned nor deserved being dumped.
Others who hemmed and hawed and wanted to remain 'objective' I cut out of my life. Obviously they didn't know me as well as they said.
Story 3:
The real reason I started the thread - I wanted to know how much money other single people spend on groceries per week! I spend anywhere between 25 and 50 bucks...! 25 seems reasonable, but 50 seems a tad ludicrous
Jeez, I spend easily $10 or more per day and that's if I don't go out with friends on the weekend and eat out. Lunch alone at the deli I eat at is costly, but is too convenient for me to ignore due to my busy work schedule. I don't cook worth a damn, so being Susie Homemaker and cooking all my meals to save money doesn't work.
